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With Our Hope

Summary:

Four and X stargaze together, and have a conversation.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Four and X were sitting next to each other, gazing out into the endless night sky as they often did. For X, the cool breeze, the nighttime ambience, and the very presence of their best friend brought them a particular sort of calm - one that they couldn't quite put into words. Absentmindedly putting their hand on Four's, they began to scan the sky for something - somewhere - specific.

Four's gaze fell on X as they felt the smaller variable's touch. They first took a glance at X's hand, which was resting on their own, before letting their eyes wander to X's face. Four took a moment to read their friend's expression, from which they gathered that they seemed to be deep in thought. Curious, they then asked, "What'cha thinking about, X?"

Upon hearing their name uttered, X was abruptly pulled out of their thoughts as they looked up at Four. "Uh... I'm sorry, what was that?"

Four giggled. Typical X. "You're fine. I was just wondering what you were thinking about."

"Oh!" X blinked at Four before looking down, trying to think of how to put their thoughts into words. "Um..." Their eyes were once again drawn to the night sky, bedazzled with stars, yet seemingly lacking the place they were looking for. They let out a sigh. "I...guess I'm just thinking about home," they admitted. "I can't help but wonder if our friends are doing all right."

Four stared at X for a few moments before nodding. "I understand." They looked in the same direction that X's eyes were fixed on, half-hoping that the dark's infinite, starlit void might pull them in and bring them to their home planet. "I wonder about them, too." And yet at the same time, they'd spent longer than they could ever admit fantasizing about spending the rest of their life here, with X.

The two hosts' voices fell silent once again, leaving only the distant chirp of crickets and the sounds of the wind to be audible. The quiet was imbued with a certain melancholy this time, though, and the once-serene atmosphere became one overwhelmed with nostalgia and longing.

Four looked a second time at X's hand. They blinked a few times, their heart beginning to beat ever so slightly faster. They then averted their gaze and, albeit hesitantly, allowed their fingers to intertwine with their co-host's. To Four's surprise, X's grip on their hand tightened almost immediately in response, though they couldn't tell if this was of a conscious decision to do so or if they'd just done it without thinking about it. They let their eyes wander once again towards X, and they noticed this time that the variable was smiling, cheeks dusted with light shades of orange.

The atmosphere shifted further. It wasn't calm like the moments before the friends' shared wistfulness, but it felt similar. Safe.

Loving.

Four began to smile, too.

X's light voice sounded less solemn this time. "Would you want to go back when it's all over?"

"Together?" Four inquired...hoped.

"Of course." X's expression softened.

"...I don't know."

X chuckled. "It's weird, isn't it? You miss a place so much, but the longer you're away, the more you start to feel like your new home might be more of a home than the old one ever was." Something in X's tone gave Four the feeling that this wasn't the first time they'd felt this way. "Especially when it brings you closer to someone you care for more than you'd realized."

"Someone you care for more than you'd realized," Four echoed. "Did you scan my brain?" They asked, half-jokingly.

"No. I guess we just share a lot of the same thoughts." X smirked.

Four couldn't help but notice how the glimmering moonlight so beautifully illuminated X's soft, sweet face. While they felt embarrassed admitting it to themself, they so badly wished they could pull the variable into their tight embrace and kiss them. Ugh. Now I'M getting all sappy. Feelings are so dumb...

X finally returned Four's gaze, though they noticed the number seemed to be zoning out. And...was the darkness shading their face weirdly, or were they blushing? "Are you alright, Four?" They knew that Four would rarely share how they truly felt if at all, but intrigue and curiosity compelled them to push for an answer. Could Four... They quickly dismissed the thought, not wanting to get their hopes up. No. That's impossible, isn't it?

"Y-yeah," Four stuttered, "I'm alright." There was a hint of hesitance in their voice, though, and nervousness reflected in their eyes. Yet it wasn't fear, X had noticed. It was something else.

X raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" They finally grabbed Four's other hand, locking a gaze with the number - one so intense that Four almost felt X could read their thoughts. The taller of the two hosts suddenly felt smaller than ever. "You know you can tell me anything," the variable affirmed.

"J-jeez, don't get all serious with me like that..." Four muttered, suddenly ripping their hands away from X's grasp and averting their eyes to look at the ground. "If... If I could tell you what was on my mind, X," they admitted, "I'd have told you by now. But I can't." A sort of heartache twinged their tone as they spoke the last few words. I wish I didn't have to keep it from you.

X put a hand on Four's shoulder sympathetically. "It doesn't have to be that way, you know." They gave their best friend the very sweetest smile they could muster. "We can be together...in a different way, so we don't have to keep secrets from each other anymore." X noticed a spark of interest flash in Four's eyes. "We can have a life together, and we can find...love...in one another..." X's voice trailed off as they realized what they'd said.

Four once again looked at X. They searched the variable's gaze and noticed a brief glint of nervousness in their eyes. Did they mean... "...like, together together?"

The smaller of the two stuttered for a few moments. "I-I mean, I, uh, it doesn't have to be like that, b-but I just... Maybe... Yeah...?" They internally facepalmed at their own delivery, suddenly feeling self-conscious. A light tint of scarlet began to dust their cheeks.

Four blinked at X. "...You're weird." They looked away, shifting uncomfortably as they suddenly became aware of their own emotions and tried to push them away.

X winced as their expression was replaced by a more dejected one. "Oh... Sorry."

"Uh... It's okay. I'm probably weirder than you..."

"Huh?" X's face suddenly lit up -- albeit ever so slightly -- as they tilted their head to one side in curiosity. "D-do you mean-"

"No!" Four's face flushed intensely as a sudden flood of emotion hit them, and they furrowed their eyebrows. "I'm not- no. Not... I don't... Feeling! UGH!" The number tugged on their two top nubs in irritation and embarrassment. "Now I just look like an idiot! What the hell is wrong with me?!"

"Uh, Four?" X put a cautious hand on Four's shoulder in concern.

Four pulled away immediately. "S-stop! Don't touch me!" Their hands began to shake, which only worsened upon seeing the hurt in the variable's eyes after they snapped at them. "I-I'm sorry, just... G-go away! Please!" They buried their face in their hands, ashamed of the way their feelings were getting the better of them.

X hesitated for a moment before sighing and nodding. "I understand." They got up and walked away.

Once Four was absolutely positive that X was far away enough to where they wouldn't hear, they let out just about the loudest screech they could possibly manage. They then flopped down onto their side guiltily.

Ugh. What a fucking waste, they thought to themself. The only friend who I'll ever have, and I can't even keep the one promise I made to them. I'm so pathetic. They wanted to cry, but felt physically unable to do so. They probably fucking hate me now. Why am I such a freak? Why can't I just be normal and deal with my emotions like everyone else does? WHY do I have to be a complete fucking WEIRDO about it?!

Melancholy, Four let their eyes stare endlessly into the sky's abyss. I wish I didn't feel this way about them. Ever since THAT started, it's caused nothing but trouble for me. For us. They sighed. And I can't even be happy when they feel the same way. I have to get all scared like a fucking dumbass because I don't want to hurt them. What kind of self-fulfilling prophecy bullshit... Ugh.

They lay alone in the dark, with the only sources of light being the moon and stars. They eventually dozed off, but were awoken after some time by a gentle tap on their shoulder. The sun was shining brightly by now. They felt better than they had last night, but still not great.

After Four's eyes adjusted to the light, they sat up and looked at the person who woke them. It was X, who then spoke to them in an anxious tone.

"I-I'm sorry, I know you told me to leave, I just... You never came home last night, so I got worried. I wanted to know that you were okay, and-"

X's words were interrupted by a hug from Four. "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." Four had immediately felt guilty upon hearing X's words -- and especially upon hearing that their friend had actually wondered about them. "I didn't mean for my emotions to get the better of me like that. You'd think I'd know better by now..."

"Oh, Four, it's not your fault," X reassured them. "Everyone has their moments! And I know you have a lot of trouble with your feelings. I shouldn't have tried to push you to tell me how you felt." The variable gave a small smile. "I'm not upset with you. I promise."

Four looked at X and was immediately overwhelmed with love. X was so cute. They were always the sweetest, most kind, most loving, most caring, most considerate, most adorable...well, everything, in the whole world. And yet at the same time, they never let people walk all over them either. They were always willing to stand up for themself when they felt it necessary, and Four loved that about them.

Four suddenly took X's hand in their own. X's eyes darted towards the hand that Four was holding in a brief moment of surprise before their gaze drifted back to the number, who mumbled something incomprehensible. X blinked in curiosity. "Uh...do you think you could repeat that?"

Four blinked. "U-uh, I said... I really do love you." Their grip on the variable's hand grew tighter as they tried to hide their nervousness. At this point, they couldn't understand why they were afraid; X felt the same, right?

Despite this, though, their fears were eased when they saw X's expression. A small smile stretched across their face as their eyes were filled with warmth and love. It made Four feel safe in a way they'd never really felt before. X got slightly closer to them, closing their eyes in calmness, and quietly whispered an "I love you too."

With this, Four somehow felt like they didn't have to be scared anymore...and while they couldn't completely understand why, they cherished the feeling more than anything in the world.

Notes:

sorry if the ending seems rushed, i really couldnt think of much for it but nevertheless i hope you enjoyed!!! sorry for my 7 month hiatus from here lol