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Soonyoung pushes the box across the table to Jihoon, who pulls the lid up to reveal the rings of sugar sitting neatly within. Any trace of intrigue seaps from his face, and he lets the lid hang open, the sweet scent wafting into the space between them, juxtaposing the dread and sadness radiating from them both.
Soonyoung swallows. It seems the doughnuts had failed to de-escalate the situation.
"What the fuck is this, Soonyoung."
The word 'doughnuts' almost fell from his lips, before he chews them down hurriedly, letting the question become rhetorical. Despite his nerves he looks Jihoon straight in the eye; his undivided attention was the least he deserves.
Instead of another bark from his boyfriend, Soonyoung sits in the silence, almost trembling as Jihoon looks at him with a blank face. He gets up from the table, walking with purpose to their room.
Soonyoung has no idea about how to fix any of this; his only wish was to go back in time to beat some sense into himself before he did something unforgiveable.
In his head, he blames his actions on the alcohol, but even from his own perspective it's a weak defense, and paints him as even more of an asshole.
Already after gathering up his things, Jihoon walks straight to the door, without looking back. His next words have an edge of finality to them, and they cut deep into Soonyoung's heart like a knife.
"I'm leaving."
...
Soonyoung lost the love of his life twice over: when his lips met Wonwoo's, and the following morning when Jihoon left their apartment, after coming to see if Soonyoung had anything to say.
He couldn't muster up a single word, and he felt pathetic.
...
Soonyoung never saw Jihoon again, despite their lives seeming so interlinked, living together, sharing a friend group, and working for the same company.
He was gone, and most of their friends hadn't heard from him, and the few who had wouldn't tell Soonyoung anything.
Maybe if he'd begged, or otherwise said or done anything to prevent Jihoon from walking out, they could have sorted through their feelings, or Soonyoung could have at least apologised while sober.
The drunken apology he made the night before had humiliated Jihoon as much as himself.
There was Jihoon, teary-eyed, stood watching Soonyoung's lips moving against Wonwoo's.
"Soonyoung..." Jihoon was broken immediately when he saw, and the slow reaction from his boyfriends made the hurt grow more painful by the second.
Soonyoung slowly pulled back from Wonwoo, who was already looking at Jihoon with terror in his eyes. He looked back at Wonwoo, then to Jihoon, and he started giggling.
Soonyoung was stupidly drunk, but the sound twisted in Jihoon's gut and he nearly got sick from how little Soonyoung seemed to care.
Jeonghan stepped from beside Jihoon, knocking Soonyoung to the floor with a heavy slap to the face. It did nothing to make Soonyoung come to his senses, as he sat petulantly on the floor, wincing and complaining at the pain, and wondering what he'd done to deserve that.
When he looked up at the fury in Jeonghan's eyes, something tickled the back of his mind, and he searched the room behind the man for Jihoon, but he was gone.
...
An hour later, when Soonyoung had been taken home, with sobriety creeping back to him, he was desparate to see Jihoon.
But as he searched the apartment, starting in their bedroom, bathroom, the spare bedroom, the corridor outside, it finally struck Soonyoung that Jihoon didn't want to see him at all.
He was responsible for causing all of this, but that night, and for weeks after, Soonyoung cried more than he ever had in his life.
After everything they'd been through, the years they'd spent as best friends before they finally admitted their feelings, and everything they had planned for the future...
It was over.