Chapter Text
“You’re kidding me! No wheels?”
Julian was dumbfounded, his drink sitting half-empty on the table. It was a Thursday night on Deep Space 9 being spent, as usual, sat next to a tuxedoed Cardassian in Quark’s. They should have already been allowed into their holosuite, but Quark - as Quark was wont to do - had overbooked the holosuites, and so they were waiting for their new, delayed time slot to arrive. Quark, ever the benevolent host, had given them a free round of drinks in lieu of a partial refund. Julian was suspicious of his synthale - he knew that if there was nothing wrong with it, Quark would never have given it for free. He drank it anyway.
“No, my dear. We Cardassians have always been a resourceful species, and so we used other forms of transport.” Garak sipped his kanar. “You must remember that the habitable area of Cardassia is much less than on your home planet, especially in the times of pre-warp technology. We had little need for long-range transport.” He shot a thinly-veiled death glare at Quark, who promptly disappeared behind the bar.
“But the.. How did you even get to that level of technology without inventing wheels ? They were literally the start of technology for our species - we could still be doddering around in caves if it wasn’t for them.” He watched Garak’s mouth quirk slightly - no doubt he was thinking of how he’d look as a caveman. “Bicycles, cars, planes - how the hell did you do any tech without that as a starting point?”
“My dear, I don’t even know what that is. Evidently, there is no direct Kardasi translation for that first word. Unless it’s really called a dual revolution vehicle?”
“It’s a- there’s two wheels, and a chain, and a pedal that you work with your feet, and you sort of..” Julian snorted and stood up, dragging Garak up by the hand. “It’s difficult to explain. Come on, forget Bond - I’m taking you for a bike ride!”
-
After some friendly threats from Garak and the removal of a very drunk Klingon from Holosuite 4, the pair were finally stood inside the holosuite.
“Computer, give me a large forest clearing with some hills. Earth, summertime, late afternoon.” The computer bleeped and produced a grassy plain surrounded by seemingly endless forest. There were some clovers and daisies dotted about the grass, and the sun was about half an hour from setting, to accommodate Garak's photosensitivity. He took a deep breath in and beamed at the surroundings. Garak looked positively enamoured.
“Is Earth really this.. lush?”
“Well, a lot of it is quite built up now, but most of the northern hemisphere used to look like this, yes. A lot of deciduous forest, oak trees and such. In fact, I learned to ride a bike in a place much like this. Computer, two adult bicycles. One with stabilisers.” As the bicycles appeared, Garak looked at them with confusion.
“I suppose it is a dual revolution vehicle. Your ancestors got about on those?”
“And enjoyed it, too. It’s a very efficient form of exercise.” Julian began to adjust the seat heights. “On Earth, there’s a huge cycling competition every year - the Tour de France. It’s been going for centuries, although it gets a lot less media coverage these days.”
“Ah, you humans do love your competitive sports, don’t you?” Upon being handed the bike, Garak looked at it with apprehension.
“We just love competitions. Everyone wants to be the best at something, and so there’s competitions for everything. It’s how the Guinness World Records came about - there are some very strange ones in there.” Noticing Garak’s face, Julian laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to go off without you. Just going to show you how it’s done.”
With that, he hopped on the bike and began to pedal, cycling in a rough loop round the clearing before returning to Garak and dismounting. He was relieved to find his Cardassian friend looked slightly less confused.
“I see, Doctor. This seems like it will be fairly easy,” he said.
“Ah, but it’s not so easy as it looks, at least until you learn. You have to get a good rhythm going or you’ll fall. That’s why I put stabilisers on your one - it’s normal for children to use them when they are learning to ride.”
Garak’s face was a picture of contempt. “Children! Doctor, surely you don’t think my level of coordination is comparable to a child - especially your clumsy Terran ones! Computer, remove stabilisers,” he huffed. The small wheels disappeared.
“Suit yourself, but you’re gonna regret it..” His words dropped off as he watched Garak climb unceremoniously onto the bike and push off, before almost immediately falling onto the ground.
“Ouch!”
Julian couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the sight - Garak, normally so put together and placid, sprawled on the floor with grass stains on his dress shirt. He was almost pouting.
“What did I just tell you?” Helping him up, Julian looked at his face and started laughing again. “You have dirt on your face!” Garak’s lips unpursed as he let out a snort. “Here, get back on and I’ll give you a push off.”
-
Letting go of Garak’s back for the last time, Julian watched as the Cardassian pedaled furiously along the grassy bank. He whooped and wolf-whistled as he got into the rhythm of it, before grabbing his bike and joining him.
“This is the first time you haven’t fallen down!” Julian said, catching up to Garak, who did not look at him, being too busy concentrating on keeping balance.
“Yes, Doctor, I- I think I have the hang of it now. I would have learned faster had I not been slightly inebriated, I think.” His tone wavered as he lost concentration and wobbled slightly.
“I think, Garak, that’s the first time you’ve ever admitted being drunk to me,” Julian replied, pulling ahead of him for a second.
“My dear, if I was not drunk I can promise you I would not be in this holosuite with you, riding your.. What are they called again?”
“Bikes.” They had reached the edge of a fairly steep decline, and Julian turned his head to warn the tailor of the danger ahead. It was too late; Garak had already tipped his front wheel over the edge of the hill and was picking up speed rapidly.
“Garak, stop pedaling!” he yelled, watching him speed down the hill. “Hold the handlebars straight and press the brake!”
Garak turned his head towards Julian - a deadly mistake. “What- ahh!” The movement of his head twisted the handle to the side, and he tumbled down to the foot of the hill, where he lay in a heap.
Julian raced down towards him - a little too fast - and ended up skidding as well. He finally managed to control the bike and stopped right next to his friend, who had landed rather awkwardly on his foot.
“Garak, are you alright?” The look that the Cardassian gave him was the same one that he gave during their lunchtime conversations - amusement hidden behind annoyance.
“My dear Doctor, it appears that I have - that I have been-” His words broke off into giggles. “Mind helping me get out from under this dreadful machine?”
“Of course. Computer, remove bicycles,” Julian managed before bursting into laughter himself.
Freed from his metal prison, Garak stretched out on the warm grass. Julian joined him and watched the sun set over the trees.
-
“What are you still smiling about?” Garak’s eyelids had begun to droop. He’s like a lizard basking in the sun , Julian thought.
“What are you talking abou- oh,” he replied as he touched his face to find that he was, in fact, still grinning like an idiot. “I forgot I was.”
“Why Doctor, I think you’re considerably more drunk than I am- ow!” Garak had tried to put some weight on his injured foot; he hissed and recoiled in pain.
“Right, that’s it. I’m taking you to the Infirmary.” Julian helped him up. “Computer, end program.”
“Oh, but I was so enjoying the lovely view..” Garak complained as he hobbled towards the holosuite exit. He’s got to be drunk if he’s letting me take him to the Infirmary..
“We can always come back another time, if you’d like to try again?” Julian lifted Garak’s arm around his shoulder.
“Maybe, although I think it would be wise to create a setting with less extreme hills next time.” They had arrived at the Infirmary and Julian had managed to sit Garak on the bed, before reaching for his medical tricorder.
“You’ve sprained your ankle, nothing serious. I can give you something for the pain, but try not to put too much weight on it for the next couple of days, okay?”
“That would be most appreciated, Doctor.” A hypospray quickly injected a light anaesthetic into his neck, and he sighed in relief. “I wonder - what other human activities would you have me try? Perhaps something less.. Precarious?”
Julian laughed. “Oh, I have just the thing - and we can do it while you’re recovering!” Putting his hypospray back in his medkit, he turned and looked at his friend. “Meet me in the Replimat on Saturday - I have the afternoon off, and this could take a while depending on how good you are at it.”
Garak stood, less gingerly now. “That sounds wonderful, my dear. I will meet you at 1300 hours for this... surprise activity. I must admit, you have piqued my curiosity.”
Julian grinned as Garak left, before heading home to his own quarters, suit disheveled and covered in green stains.