Chapter Text
it was at the time, where i thought, that i could resist everyone and everything. that i didn't need anything. that i was independent from everything.
why?
because i felt like a grown up, even though i acted like a kid.
and i was sure i wouldn't fall for him, as i said before, i thought i was all grown up.
spoiler: i wasn't. and i fell for him and his charms.
who was he?
oh, everyone knew him. he was the school's heartthrob every girl liked. and, to be exact, not only girls crushed on him. the straightest guys would find themselves gushing over him in p.e.
i mean, i knew, i was gay, one year before i started developing feelings for him, but i never fell so hard for anyone before.
how could i not, though; his perfect pink lips, his fluffy hair, his deep, knowing eyes and his body in general made everyone have some kind of weird thoughts. his hotness was undeniable for sure. but what i loved the most about him was his soft side, the side he doesn't usually show. the sparkles in his eyes, when he talks about aliens, his little-known obsession; the way he enjoys good food or drinks, being all exited and cheery; his love for moomin and most importantly, his angry side!
you would expect him to be absolutely scary when angry, but the truth is, you can't take him serious, because he's so cute!
oh god, that crush is definitely not gone yet.
i should stop thinking about him, but i just can't get him out of my head.
but we're just friends.
it was just yesterday when he came to my house at 2 am, crying for a reason i didn't know. i let him in and comforted him, until his breath was at a normal rate again. it was quite unexpected, due to me just being one of the many, many friends he has, plus i'm not even one of his best friends.
this morning he told me what troubled him. he feels like he has no real friends at all, like he's alone here in this cruel world. i told him i was here by his side and would always be there for him, when he needs me, and then he let out everything.
from his "friends" talking bad about him behind his back to his secret boyfriend being a bitch and cheating on him. he talked and talked and stopped with the sentence: "he broke my heart as if it was nothing.."
tears dropped down his chin, and his nose was all red, but i just wanted to protect him. he looked so broken, so i hugged him, and told him everything would be alright. he hid his face in the crook of my neck and wettened my shirt with his tears, but he was comfortable in my arms, so i let him.
then he sat up and looked me right in the eyes, god, were the butterflies in my stomach wilding, smiled at me and said a simple: "thank you"
i stared in his eyes, i never saw them so close up, but then my eyes trailed (without my consent!!) to his lips. they looked so kissable, i needed all of my self control to not kiss him, but get my eyes back to looking in his eyes. his beautiful, warm eyes..
"hyuckie, you're dreaming" he chuckled.
i blushed and looked on the ground being all flustered because of the nickname.
all of a sudden i felt a cold finger raising up my chin, just to be met with renjun's gaze. i froze at the spot when i noticed his head getting closer to mine.
and then his soft lips met mine. they were a bit wet and salty from his tears, but i loved them. he started moving his lips on mine, and i did the same. it was such a beautiful moment, i wish it never would've stopped.
at least i wouldn't be the one in tears right now.
yeah, right, i'm crying.
you may ask yourself "why? your crush kissed you?"
right, he kissed me, but i am afraid that he didn't feel the same.
he stormed out of my house just when i parted my lips from his.
he ran away and left me here.
oh, what a fool i am, falling for a boy like you, huang renjun.