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Shelby looked up at the lychee tree with half-closed eyes.
The bright rays of sunshine started to slide through the branches of the tree above her head making it hard to keep her eyes open. She quickly covered her face with one hand trying to block out the sun when suddenly an arm wrapped lazily around her waist. She froze and took a sharp breath turning her head to one side to snuck a glance at the girl curled up next to her.
Toni.
Shelby’s head flooded with images of the events of last night. She felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. Her ears burned hot. Her cheeks colored like a peach in the sun. She bit her bottom lip trying hard not to smile like an idiot.
They spent the night together.
They had sex under a freaking lychee tree.
Shelby turned her head away from the girl with a shy smile taking the hand on her stomach in her own and caressing the girl’s skin lightly with her fingers. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about last night. She touched her lips with her index finger remembering Toni’s soft mouth on hers, her curious hands roaming around her body as if she’d been waiting ages for this moment.. It was real. It happened. She was sure now that she didn’t just hallucinate the whole thing after eating too many berries.
Shelby closed her eyes and let out a soft giggle. She felt happy. Trully happy. For the first time in what seemed like forever. As ironic as it was she was happier here on a deserted island with the girls than she ever was at home in Texas. The island was the only place where she could let go of her father’s expectations. Before the plane crash happened twenty three days ago she just felt miserable and lost, trying so hard to fit in the perfect image her father created of their family. If someone told her a month ago that her life would change so drastically she wouldn’t believe it.
But none of that mattered now.
Spending nearly a month on a deserted island changed her and made her think of her past life as if it was a fever dream. It just felt so unreal. Of course they were starving and didn’t know what was coming next but they were also thousand miles away from home, from all that disappointment, from high expectations Shelby could never reach.. She felt free on the island and if this was the price she had to pay to be free she was willing to stay here forever.
The girl shook her head trying to get rid of those dark thoughts.
Instead she focused on Toni.
She was laying on the ground under a damn lychee tree with Toni half hugging her in her sleep after having sex with her last night. This is what mattered to her now. If her father knew about it, he’d disown her without a doubt. She smirked, not even caring that much what he’d say about it anymore.
Her smile widened as she twisted around to lay on her side facing Toni’s sleeping figure, their intertwined fingers laying in the little space left between their bodies. Shelby couldn’t take her eyes off the girl once she looked at her properly. She propped her head up with one hand and let herself take in the view in front of her eyes.
Toni murmured something in her sleep but didn’t wake up. She looked so peaceful. Her hair usually braided was now a mess of soft curls. This was probably one of the very few times since they met when Shelby had the opportunity to see Toni not angry or annoyed at someone. Snoring softly and with her lips slightly ajar she looked just like a normal teenage girl.
The blonde let out a long breath she didn’t know she was holding.
The truth was Toni annoyed the hell out of her from the very beginning. Obviously the feeling was mutual. Toni was mean and loud and everything Shelby could never be. At least the old Shelby. Toni wasn’t afraid of who she was and Shelby was terrified and did everything to hide that part of herself from the world. Even on a damn deserted island she kept on preaching about God and saying those mean stuff to Toni. She felt bad about it now. The girls thought she was a bigot.. meanwhile she was maintaining a never-ending battle between her head and her heart, the things her father manipulated her into believing and what she really felt but was too afraid to admit. Even to herself.
Shelby reached out to touch Toni. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and hesitantly ran a finger along her jaw feeling the brunette start to move slowly under her touch.
After a minute Toni’s eyes fluttered open.
‘’I can feel you staring, you know?’’ she said, rising one of her eyebrows up.
Her voice was more hoarse in the morning than usual, which made it impossibly more attractive to Shelby. The girl froze with her hand on Toni’s cheek and locked eyes with her. She coughed out a nervous laugh.
‘’I was not staring’’ Shelby was quick to answer and bit the inside of her cheek, letting her hand fall to the ground between them.
Toni started rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, a suspicious little half-smile curved her lips. She looked at the blonde with a playful expression on her face, enjoying teasing her.
‘’I don’t mind if you do’’ Toni said and yawned, stretching her arms out above her head.
Shelby rolled her eyes and smiled. She turned away laying on her back again trying to hide her face in between her hands. Her cheeks were burning hot. Toni laughed out loud and it made Shelby’s heart flutter. In no time both of them were laughing like idiots. It was ironic considering the fact that they were stuck on a deserted island not knowing when – or if – someone would ever rescue them. As the laughter began to die down a comfortable silence fell between them. Shelby let her hands fall freely to her sides and suddenly felt an urge to address the events of last night. The problem was she didn’t know how to do it. She kept her head straight, looking at the lychees above their heads and trying to come up with just the right words to say.
What she didn’t expect was to find Toni totally calm about it. She was this loud quick-tempered person and yet now she didn’t even look half as nervous as Shelby. Toni looked at the girl briefly observing her lips as they opened and closed a few times, as if she was trying to say something but no sound ever came out. She locked eyes with Shelby and cleared her throat.
‘’We should talk’’ Toni stated bluntly.
Shelby nodded and gulped. Out of habit she began playing with the necklace that laid on her neck, finding courage in the cross.
‘’I don’t think I’m ready just yet’’ She said slowly after some seconds, letting out a shaky breath.
She kept her eyes on the girl next to her and her heart sank seeing a confused expression on Toni’s face ‘’It’s not that I didn’t.. like it’’ Shelby quickly pointed out not wanting Toni to think she regretted what happened between them last night. She didn’t want to hurt Toni. She turned her head to one side but kept her eyes on the girl.
‘’Because I did.. like it’’ she added quietly, looking Toni right in the eyes hoping they could speak for her, tell her what she wasn’t ready to say out loud just yet.
‘’Shelby, it’s cool’’ Toni answered simply moving her eyes away from the girl and letting out another loud yawn. She sat up, cross-legged and looked around the forest.
Shelby felt like she needed to say something more. She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath before deciding what to do next. It was only the two of them here and she was tired of pretending like everything was okay. It was not okay long before that stupid plane crash happened.
She sat up and mirrored Toni’s position. Their legs were slightly touching.
‘’Do you want to know why my parents sent me off?’’ Shelby asked quickly before Toni could change the topic. Her voice quavered.
She stared at her hands not bearing to look at Toni, worrying she would just end up crying before saying anything. Toni’s hand reached for hers and she squeezed it lightly. She needed more courage than she originally thought to talk about her life before the island.
‘’Yeah’’ Toni encouraged her to continue softly.
Shelby took in a deep breath and looked up at her. The girl looked worried but her features softened slightly as their eyes locked again. Toni gave her hand another squeeze, silently letting her know she was here for her. It was obvious that whatever Shelby wanted to talk about wasn’t easy for her.
‘’My father caught me kissing a girl’’ the blonde whispered as if she was afraid that anyone else on the island could hear her. Maybe even her father in Texas. She only wanted Toni to listen.
Shelby felt a single tear roll down her cheek. She took another deep breath, rubbing at her eyes with her other hand wanting to stop more tears from coming. Toni tightened the hold on her hand and moved to sit a bit closer.
‘’He told me I would end up alone’’ Shelby whispered, her voice cracking at the end ‘’and he wanted to fix me’’
‘’That’s fucked up, Shelby’’
Without hesitation Toni took her face in her hands, gently cupping her cheeks and wiping away the tears rolling down her face with her thumbs. Toni knew Shelby must have lived in a very religious household because of her obsession with Jesus but she never expected it to be this bad.
‘’Everyone here wants to go home’’ Shelby’s voice trembled. She drew in a long breath and let it hiss out slowly ‘’and I’ve never felt this free in my entire life’’
She began to shiver uncontrollably, more tears coming and Toni pulled her into a hug wrapping her arms tightly around the other girl. Shelby dropped her head on Toni’s shoulder and let herself be held. She cried for what felt like eternity.
After some time the tears stopped falling and Shelby’s breath eventually evened out. Her eyes were slightly puffy but apart from that she felt relieved. She could feel Toni’s hands stroking her back gently and she grinned.
She lifted her head off of Toni’s shoulder and looked at her. Their faces barely a few centimeters apart.
‘’Who would have thought we’d end up like this?’’ Shelby asked as she broke into a sly smile, motioning with her head between their bodies. Her voice hoarse from crying.
‘’I couldn’t stand you when we first met’’ Toni said honestly and beamed at the other girl, her arms loosely wrapped around her waist ‘’Your perfect ponytail pissed me off so much’’
Shelby wrapped an arm around Toni’s neck, massaging the back of her neck with her fingers. She leaned back a bit and let her other hand comb through her unevenly cut hair.
‘’Not a problem anymore’’ she twisted a short strand of hair with her index finger.
The brunette snorted.
‘’Would it be weird if I said you look even more beautiful now?’’ Toni asked, a bit of shyness creeping in her normally confident tone.
Shelby’s heart fluttered. She was used to getting compliments about her looks from people but getting one from Toni just felt different. Especially since she didn’t really look her best after the plane crash. She was sweaty, had an uneven haircut and a thin layer of grime on her face but Toni still thought she was beautiful.
Shelby gulped and quickly looked down at Toni’s parted lips. She felt nervous out of a sudden. The girl looked up and caught Toni staring down at her lips. They were so close to each other Shelby could feel Toni’s breath mixing with her own. She was dying to close the gap and just kiss her.
She leaned in and pressed her mouth to Toni’s, softly but firmly.
The sweetness of lychees still noticeable on her lips. Shelby wrapped her fingers around the back of Toni’s neck and pulled her closer to her body. A soft groan escaped Toni’s lips as the blonde sucked on her bottom lip. Her hands slipped beneath Shelby’s top, resting on the warm skin of her waist. Before things could go any further Shelby pulled away reluctantly. Her chest rose and fell as she drew in a deep breath to calm herself down.
‘’We should probably head back’’ she said locking eyes with the other girl.
Toni nodded, knowing Shelby was right. As much as they wanted to stay here and enjoy more time alone they couldn’t forget why they came here in the first place.
Food.
They looked at each other for a long few moments before pulling away and slowly getting up from the ground.
‘’We’ve been gone for so long they must think something ate us’’ Shelby said brushing dirt from her shirt and shorts.
‘’Well I did eat you o-’’
‘’Toni!’’ Shelby quickly called before the other girl could finish the sentence, her eyes wide-opened. She reached her hand out to give the brunette a playful shove on her shoulder, shaking her head in disbelief.
Toni burst out laughing. Shelby was so easy to tease.
‘’Come and help me before I regret saving your life’’ Shelby said walking towards the lychee tree.
Toni followed her gladly.