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“Are you okay, Aether? Shouldn’t you be celebrating helping Master Diluc defeat the Abyss Order while keeping his identity secret? That was a huge accomplishment! But you look like you’re having the worst night of your life! Paimon doesn’t get it.”
“Oh? Am I ruining the mood? I’m sorry.” Aether turned to offer a soft smile to his travel companion, but his eyes must have given him away. Paimon’s frown only deepened.
They were sitting on one of the benches in Mondstadt—or more accurately, Aether was sitting while Paimon floated next to him—relaxing in the quiet of the night. Dealing with the whole ‘Darknight Hero’ situation had been a wild ride from start to finish, and the two needed time to breathe and unwind.
“Paimon doesn’t care about the mood! Paimon is worried about you!”
Aether stared back at her with a confused expression, causing her to smack her palm to her forehead. Sheesh, he must really be out of it if their roles were reversed like this.
“What’s gotten into you tonight?” Paimon asked.
What had gotten into him? One would think that an hour of staring blankly into the sky would’ve given Aether some insight as to what was weighing so heavily on his heart, but he wasn’t sure. Paimon was right after all. They helped a close friend protect themself and their city. That was cause for celebration, wasn’t it? So what was with this feeling?
“I don’t know, Paimon. I’ve been feeling off since we left the tavern for some reason.”
“Paimon gets it! It’s because we got caught!”
“Caught?” Aether sat up a little straighter, his head tilting in question. “But we didn’t—”
“Kaeya was there.”
Oh yeah.
“But Paimon isn’t sure why that’s a problem. He said he wouldn’t tell. Oh, are you afraid he’s just lying again?”
Aether shook his head. Despite his nature, Aether was sure Kaeya wouldn’t lie about something like this.
“Then what’s the problem? Don’t tell me you’re upset because one person found out!”
“I’m not that petty!” Aether protested.
“Then what’s the big deal?” Paimon pressed, clearly frustrated by her friend’s inability to give a straight answer.
“I don’t know!”
“Are you afraid he’s mad at you?”
“No?”
Afraid wasn’t the right word, but Paimon was onto something. Aether was sure that Kaeya wouldn’t do anything to hurt him even if he was angry, but the traveler was worried nonetheless. Something about Kaeya being upset because of him made his chest ache.
“Do you think he’s hurt?” Aether voiced his thoughts.
He leaned his head back to gaze up at the stars, as if they might hold the answer.
“What are you talking about?”
“Kaeya and I are friends, aren’t we? But I kept the whole situation from him. What if he thinks I don’t trust him?”
“Why would you? Paimon distinctly remembers being sent on a wild goose chase for pirate treasure that ended in us getting attacked by treasure hoarders!”
Aether laughed. “You got me there. But he showed up before we could get hurt, didn’t he?”
“Well, if he lied to you and you’re okay with it, Paimon’s sure he’s okay with what happened today. He didn’t seem upset anyway.”
Times like these, Aether didn’t know what he would do without Paimon. She made talking and sharing his honest feelings so easy, when usually that was his biggest weak point.
“You’re right. I’m being silly. Everything is okay,” Aether said, hoping that saying it would make it true.
“You say that, but your face says you’re still upset. If it bothers you that much, why don’t you talk to him?”
Paimon was absolutely right. Why didn’t Aether talk to him? What was the point of sitting around wondering if Kaeya was okay when Aether could simply ask him? The blond promptly rose from his seat, wasting no time in walking off in a random direction.
“Wait! Paimon didn’t mean right now! It’s the middle of the night! Do you even know where to look for Kaeya?!” Paimon scolded.
In truth, Aether didn’t have a clue. Where did the cavalry captain go when he wasn’t at headquarters or the tavern? The traveler stopped in his tracks, his head hanging and his lips drawn in a frown.
“Let’s go find somewhere to camp for the night,” Paimon suggested. “We can look for Kaeya tomorrow.”
Aether nodded in compliance—he knew that his companion was right. They’d already stayed out much longer than was normal for them, and they should’ve found a safe spot to settle down hours ago.
“Sorry,” he muttered, feeling bad for subjecting Paimon to his turbulent feelings.
“Aw, Paimon can’t stay upset with you. You can make it up to Paimon by resting up and feeling better in the morning!”
That managed to bring a smile back to Aether’s face, and he nodded once more. “Yes ma’am.”
And so, they set off to rest for the night.
Kaeya, as it turned out, was an impossible man to find. Aether and Paimon could have sworn they looked all over Mondstadt for him, but nothing! Admittedly, their actions could be better described as ‘wandering aimlessly’ than ‘searching’ after they failed to find the knight at the only two places they could think of, but still! This was getting frustrating.
“How is it that that lazy captain can find us whenever he wants, but we can’t find him anywhere!” Paimon exclaimed in frustration, her cheeks red and puffy.
“Wait,” Aether gasped. “Paimon, that’s it! We shouldn’t be looking for him!”
He didn’t take the time to explain what he meant by that, instead rushing throughout the square to ask every person he came across about Kaeya and his whereabouts. Paimon asked multiple times how this didn’t count as looking for the man, but Aether only shrugged and told her to trust him.
The honorary knight’s pride took a few blows from his bumbling about—a lot of people were quick to tease him over his seeming desperation to find Kaeya. And yeah, okay, maybe he was a little desperate, but this was all part of the plan! Once he was sure everyone nearby was aware of his plight, Aether turned to Paimon and loudly proclaimed,
“Guess he isn’t anywhere around here. Let’s go back to Windrise and gather materials for the rest of the day!”
“Huh? You’re giving up?” Paimon almost sounded angry with him for a moment, but a look of realization soon took over her features. “Yes! You’re right! We should definitely go back to Windrise for the rest of the day! We should probably set up camp there for tonight, too!”
The duo both struggled to hold in their laughter after that. They knew they went a bit overboard with their performance, but that was okay. They were sure their message would be heard loud and clear.
“So. I heard a certain honorary knight has been looking for me?”
A wide grin split Aether’s face when he heard a familiar voice from behind him. It hadn’t even been a full hour since his and Paimon’s little stunt, and it was already working. He tucked away the windwheel aster he’d just plucked, and turned on his heel.
“Look who’s finally here,” Aether drawled, hoping his expression looked half as smug as the way Kaeya always looked at him. “It took you long enough.”
“Hmm?” For two whole seconds, Kaeya actually seemed surprised. Aether would be sure to file that expression away in his memories. “Oh my, it seems I’ve been a terrible influence on you, dear traveler. You actually managed to lure me out here to you. I’m impressed.”
“You make it sound like this is some sort of trap.” Aether frowned. “I wouldn’t have had to ‘lure’ anything if you weren’t so hard to find!”
“And why, might I ask,” Kaeya began to ask, striding towards the traveler until there was little more than a foot between them. “Was my little knight looking for me?”
Aether prayed to Barbatos that his face didn’t look as red as it felt, then mentally slapped himself. He’d been in Mondstadt for too long if Venti was the first god that came to his mind for help. Lacking the energy to engage in the verbal dance Kaeya somehow always dragged him into, Aether forced the playful tone out of his voice and spoke candidly.
“I need to talk to you about last night,” he stated.
“Last night? Oh, yes. That. I hope Diluc isn’t becoming a thorn in your side, Traveler.”
There was a certain sincerity to Kaeya’s words that caused the corners of Aether’s mouth to rise. It was almost...cute when the older man worried about him like that.
“No, we haven’t spoken since we parted ways,” Aether assured him. “What I wanted to say was…”
Aether’s brows furrowed. As ridiculous as it was to say, he wasn’t used to carrying out conversations himself for this long. This was usually the part where he’d stand by and let Paimon do the talking; however, today he’d asked her to let him handle this on his own. His apology wouldn’t sound as sincere if it was coming from someone else’s mouth, but he feared that if he let her stay, he’d end up relying on her anyways. Seeing as he froze up mid-sentence, he was probably right about that.
Why was this so hard? All he wanted to say was sorry! But where did he start? Did he tell Kaeya the whole story from start to finish? Did he try to explain the convoluted feelings whirling around in his chest? He still didn’t know why he was so guilty. What would he do if Kaeya asked?
“Kaeya, I really like you.”
Oh archons, why did he say that ?!
“P-Pardon?”
It seemed for the second time that day, Aether had managed to leave the captain in shock.
“W-What I mean is, I care about you a lot, and I want you to know that I think of you as a dear friend,” Aether’s mouth moved faster than his brain, and at this point his own words were news to him. “I trust you, Kaeya. I’ve never doubted that you’re someone I can put my faith in to the very end.”
“Aether…”
It was so rare to hear his name coming from his friend, and Aether found that it sounded rather lovely in Kaeya’s voice.
“T-That’s why, I need you to know, I’m so sorry I didn’t fill you in on what was happening yesterday. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you, and I never meant to pick sides. I-I really hope you’re not upset!”
Ugh. This was why Aether normally let Paimon talk for him. He was terrible at holding himself together when he got flustered! Once he got started, he could never seem to shut himself up until he’d said way too much and was stuttering like a schoolgirl. Now he just felt embarrassed. He was sweating way more than the cool air justified, and he knew his face had to be redder than a chili by now.
“I’m not upset at all. If anything, I’m glad that Diluc finally has someone as dependable as you to rely on,” Kaeya said with a wave, as if smacking the silly notion right out of the air. If he noticed what a mess Aether looked like, he didn’t acknowledge it. “Although...are you serious about what you said? You trust me after everything I’ve put you through?”
The poor traveler’s brain was running on empty by now, and he feared what overly-wordy drabble would spew forth from him this time.
“Of course.” So far so good. “A few white lies never hurt anyone, and I’m sure anything you keep to yourself is for a good reason.”
Good job, me. That didn’t sound stupid.
“You would stand by me, knowing I’ve lied to you, and yet you couldn’t keep one little secret from me? Why is that?” Kaeya questioned, genuine fascination in his tone.
The question was a fair one. Aether didn’t have a good answer.
“W-Well? When people care about each other, they shouldn’t hide things from each other. That’s why I feel bad about yesterday.” That was always his and Lumine’s rule, anyway. There’s no such thing as love without trust, she would say. “But it was different that time with you. You were just...doing your job. And you’ve always been honest about the things that matter,” Aether explained. After all, Kaeya didn’t have to tell him about his vision or about Khaenri’ah.
“Is that so? In that case…” Kaeya pursed his lips, a look of conflict briefly flashing across his visible eye. It wasn’t like him to be so hesitant. “There is something important I haven’t told you and never planned to tell you. You see, if you knew this about me, you might not want to be my friend anymore; but if I keep it from you, I’ll be breaking our bond of trust. I can't say I'm pleased with either option, so, Aether, I’ll let you decide whether you want to know what my secret is or not.”
Whatever response Aether had been expecting, it certainly wasn't that. The concept that Kaeya could possibly have another secret beyond what he'd already disclosed about his origins...the traveler was intrigued, to say the least. He was also conflicted.
Not two minutes ago, he'd told Kaeya that he believed anything he kept to himself was for a good reason. Would Aether not be a liar if, following that, he demanded the knight reveal his secret? Yet he couldn't help wondering. What could Kaeya possibly be hiding that might jeopardize their friendship? Did he do something awful? By the anemo archon— dammit Aether stop doing that— did he kill somebody?
“Pff, I didn’t realize thinking was so taxing for you. You look like your head’s exploding.” It sure feels like it is. “It’s a yes or no question, Aether.”
Knowing in his heart that not knowing this secret and being left to overthink and wonder would be more harmful to their friendship than whatever Kaeya had to say, Aether gave a curt nod.
“Tell me.”
“Very well.” Why did Kaeya look so sad? Like he already accepted that Aether was going to be scared off. “Earlier, you said you consider me a dear friend. I’m sorry to say this, but the feeling isn’t mutual.”
What?
Memories of worlds with ‘televisions’ bubbled up to the front Aether’s mind. He’d always laughed at the overdramatized way the sound of glass breaking would be played to signify someone’s heart shattering. Now he was sure if he were in one of those ‘shows’, that’s precisely the sound he would be hearing.
“No, wait. Please stop that. You didn’t let me finish.”
Before Aether could ask what it was he should be stopping, gloved hands were wiping tears away from his cheeks. He was crying? Well, there went the last of his dignity.
“I didn’t mean to imply that you aren’t dear to me.”
Then how did you mean it?! Aether wanted to scream. He wished Kaeya would hurry and get to the point already. Who would have thought that after facing the most bone-chilling horrors of countless worlds, this would be the thing the traveler’s heart couldn’t handle?
“I was trying to say that, more and more these days, my feelings towards you aren't what I'd call ‘friendly’. I can’t recall the last time I had a single platonic thought about you,” Kaeya admitted. Though he was trying to stay calm, his voice wavered in a way Aether had never heard from him before, and he appeared almost frantic in the way he tried to dry the traveler’s tears.
“Even now,” the knight went on. “You’re here crying, and all I can think about is how beautiful you look when your eyes shine like that.”
“Y-You think I’m beautiful?” Why was that what he chose to fixate on?
“I do. I also think I love you.”
In that moment, Aether felt too many different things to express. He knew not if he should crumble to the ground in relief because Kaeya didn’t hate him, cry from happiness that the most wonderful man in all the worlds said he loved him, or kiss that stupid knight senseless so he didn’t have to put his own confession into words. He hadn’t even realized just how many of his own romantic feelings he’d been stuffing away in a lockbox deep in his heart until the knowledge that they were requited set them free.
There were so many emotions, and even more ways to show them. So many things Aether could do.
Somehow, he settled on rage.
“You...you! Why didn’t you start with that? What is wrong with you?!” Aether yelled, grabbing Kaeya by the shoulders and giving him a good shake. Kaeya only laughed in response, prompting the blond to shake him harder. “It’s not funny!”
“I know it isn’t,” Kaeya agreed, though he didn’t stop laughing. “I can’t help it though. This is the angriest I’ve ever seen you! I don’t know if I should be honored or scared to be the first to push you this far.”
Aether halted his assault in favor of staring at the amused look on Kaeya’s face. The knight was right, now that he thought about it. Aether was usually good at keeping his emotions in check. He hadn’t had an outburst of this magnitude since he’d been in Teyvat.
“Moreover…” Oh, Kaeya wasn’t done. “I can’t help feeling relieved, seeing as you’re still willing to touch me.”
“Huh?” All at once, it sunk in what Kaeya had meant when he’d said Aether might not want to be his friend if he knew this ‘secret’. What a ridiculous man.
Unable to stop himself, Aether began laughing even harder than Kaeya. He couldn’t believe his friend would worry that he was one of those kinds of people. Even if the cavalry captain’s feelings hadn’t been mutual, Aether wouldn’t have scrapped their whole relationship over it!
“You’re so dumb!” Aether wheezed. “What, did you think I’d be disgusted or something?”
Kaeya didn’t respond, but the way he turned his head away told Aether all he needed to know.
“Hey now.” The blond slid his hands up from Kaeya’s shoulders to his cheeks, forcing the knight to look at him and pulling him down so they were eye level. “I told you I cared about you, didn’t I? Why would I change my mind because you love me?”
“I...I don’t…”
Oh man. Aether couldn’t wait to tell Paimon how many times he’d managed to render Kaeya speechless today. She’d be so impressed, she might even buy him a sticky honey roast this time as a reward. Right now he should be focusing on putting his poor, dense friend out of his misery, though.
“Especially considering I love you too,” Aether finished with a smirk.
He was given a half-second to appreciate the way Kaeya’s eye widened before a pair of lips were attacking his own. A muffled gasp escaped him, and he scrambled hopelessly to kiss back. He must not have been very good at it; Kaeya kept chuckling against him. Nevertheless, Aether thought it felt nice, and Kaeya, at the very least, wasn’t pulling away. In fact, he did the opposite, grabbing the blond by the waist and dragging him impossibly closer.
They didn’t separate until Aether felt like his lungs would burst, and both of them were panting hard.
“I hope you know that was hell for me, Aether,” Kaeya eventually spoke up once he caught his breath.
Aether pouted. “I wasn’t that bad! A-And it was my first kiss, so—”
“Not that,” Kaeya cut him off. “Did you honestly have to wait so long to say you loved me too?”
Ah, that. The smirk found its way back to Aether’s face, and he laughed softly.
“Consider that payback for making me cry.”
“Hmmph.” Kaeya pinched Aether’s cheeks, physically forcing the grin off his face and causing the smaller man to whine in protest. “I never would’ve thought you could be so cruel as to have done that intentionally.”
“In your words, you’ve been a terrible influence,” Aether half-joked.
Whether it was the words Aether spoke, the tone he used, or the face he made, the blond wasn’t sure; but something must’ve been awfully attractive to Kaeya, because, in the blink of an eye, he was kissing Aether within an inch of his life.
The outlander knew he only had so much time before Paimon got worried about how long he was taking and came to look for him, and that when that happened he would have to put his alone time with Kaeya on hold until he could fill her in on all that happened. Aether hadn’t a clue where to begin explaining how his apology turned into a love confession—he’d been so anxious, the details were already starting to blur—but that was a bridge he would cross when he got to it.
For now, he was content to kiss Kaeya until they were blue in the face and light in the head.