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When Gwen wakes up in Ianto’s body, it’s startling, to say the least. She hardly expects to wake up in a strange bed, sleeping on the chest of her boss.
When Jack’s phone rings a moment later, it’s clear that her best mate is equally appalled and shocked by the situation.
“Jack--” A voice that should be her own filters through the phone as Jack answers it, his fingertips trailing lightly over her back. “Jack, am I there? Ianto -- you’re with Ianto?”
“...he’s here with me,” he answers, shifting up onto his elbow at the alarm in his tone, squinting. “Why?”
“Jack…” she whispers, nudging him as she slides off his body, snatching the covers up to her chest on instinct, before realizing that doesn’t matter in this frame. “Jack, that’s not Gwen, I’m Gwen . ”
“What?”
He glances at her with clear bewilderment in his expression, blinking as he shakes off sleep. “What do you mean?”
“I mean something’s wrong. I’m not Ianto. It’s me, Gwen . That -- that has to be Ianto.”
“I’m stuck in Gwen’s body and I’ve just woken up with Rhys. Something’s happened.” Again, Ianto’ voice is heard through the phone, confused and concerned, but calm.
“Is this a prank?” Jack asks as he sits up fully, and Gwen shakes her -- well, Ianto’s -- head.
“Of course it’s not a prank, Jack--”
“No, it’s not. Can you pass the phone to her, please?”
Jack hesitates, before he presses a button and shifts a bit further away from the body in his bed, holding the phone flat in his palm between them. “You’re on speaker.”
“Gwen?” Ianto asks, and Gwen lets out a sigh of relief.
“Ianto, yeah, I’m here. You all right?”
“I am, but--”
“Gwen? Gwen, is that you?” A concerned, forceful voice that she knows all too well is heard, and Gwen lets out a sigh of relief.
“Rhys, darling, hello. Just stay calm, all right? Seems Ianto and I have switched bodies, but don’t worry, we’ll have it right in a tick.”
“How many bloody times am I goin’ to wake up with someone who’s not you?”
“Our hope is that this is the last time,” Ianto interjects. “Gwen. The static shock from the device we recovered last night.”
“Not a static shock, I’ll imagine. Tosh said it was some sort of transporter. Like a teleport.”
“Not physical, it seems.”
“Or it’s broken. Get down to the Hub, yeah? We’ll call her in.”
“Right, on my way. Am I bringin’ Rhys?”
“Of course I’m bloody comin’!” His tone is irate now. “That’s my wife! ”
“Technically, I am currently your wife.”
“ Listen here- ”
“Oh, let him come, Ianto.” Gwen rolls her eyes. “I’ll see you both soon. And Rhys? I love you.”
“Love you too, lovely. I’ll be there soon.”
The line goes dead, and Gwen looks up to Jack now, who has sat silent through the exchange, a frown knitting his brows together and his lips pursed. Gwen simply waits for a moment, before she sighs. “Right, what’s goin’ on in your head?”
“Gotta say, when I imagined waking up with you on me, Ianto was here, too.”
“Oh, shove off.” Her eyes roll; a smile touches her lips all the same. Jack was good at helping her feel calm in tense situations.
“Seriously, though, are you okay? This isn’t something I’ve run across in a long, long time.”
“I don’t feel too strange. Different body, not a fan, but yeah, fine. No physical symptoms. Bit sore from runnin’ all over the place.”
“That’s not from running.”
“ From runnin’. ” She returns with narrowed eyes, ignoring his smirk. “You’ve seen this before then, Jack?”
“A couple times. It can be a lot of fun if you’re with the right person. But without knowing what parameters that device was set to, I’d feel better if we had you both back in your bodies as soon as possible.”
“I can agree to that.” She began to climb over him out of bed, dragging the covers with her about her body, in the process pulling them off of him. “ Ho--! ” Her hand comes up to block her eyes, looking away from the sight immediately. “Can you put some pants on, at the very least?”
“I usually get a better reaction,” Jack teases, but quickly moves to do as requested, giving the all clear once pants and trousers were firmly on his body, leaving Gwen to stare at the ceiling with an amused, half-suppressed smile toying at her lips. “Okay, it’s safe.”
“No offense, Jack, but I hope I leave that memory with this body,” she returns as she moves to the wardrobe to drag on Ianto’s clothes, adjusting to her new frame somewhat awkwardly, her movements clumsy at best. Like a little fawn, she thinks, shaking her head. Oh, she cannot wait to be back in her own body.
------
When Ianto and Rhys enter the Hub, they’re greeted by the full team, busy figuring out how to return their hapless teammates back to their own bodies. Gwen immediately moves to embrace Ianto, returned with his usual reticent affection, before she allows them to speak to their respective partners.
“Ianto,” Jack greets, looking her over as Ianto approaches him. “Gotta say, not how I expected to spend my morning.”
“I can truthfully say it’s not what I planned, either,” Ianto returns, stopping a few feet from him to look up at him. “I have to say, I won’t miss her height.”
“Not into the petite look, huh?” Jack grins, leaning in to kiss his forehead gently, one hand at the back of his head, ignoring the half-uttered protest given before it’s too late. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you back in your own body.”
“Nice as she looks, it turns out I prefer my own.”
“I prefer you as you, too.” Jack answers firmly, smiling at him. “Tosh is already working on it.” He nods to Gwen and Rhys. “I imagine that was a shock.”
“I’m not certain if it were Rhys or myself who was more surprised. Don’t feel like repeatin’ it.”
In the meantime, Gwen had stepped over to Rhys, offering him an uncertain smile. “I’m not used to lookin’ at you from eye level.”
“You’re taller than me,” he comments, before uncertainly reaching out to take her hand in his. It’s clear he’s uncomfortable, but doing his best despite it. They’ve dealt with stranger things. “Are you all right?”
“I can promise you I wasn’t prepared to wake up sleepin’ in my boss’s bed,” she responds with a slight laugh, shaking her head. “I can say I want to wake up to your face and only yours for the rest of forever.”
“Ah, that’s my Gwen,” he responds with a smile, squeezing her hand briefly. “Ianto says he thinks it should be an easy fix?”
“ If I can sort the reversal,” Tosh interjects, stepping into the middle of the two couples. “It turns out it may not be that easy. It’s not meant to go in reverse.”
“Well, you can make it though, right? You’re the genius,” Rhys returns, and she gives him an exasperated look.
“I’m working on it. In the meantime, Owen--?” She turns to find the medic sitting at his desk, engrossed in the information in Gwen and Ianto’s medical charts. “I’ll need bloodwork.”
“Yeah, I want to get a look at the both of them,” he responds, joining the group.
“First, though--” Tosh turns around to hurry to her desk, returning carrying the device carefully, a thin layer of flexible rubber keeping it from touching her skin.
“Is that the trivet from the kitchen?” Ianto sounds offended, and Tosh tosses him a look.
“You touched it, you switched. I’m taking precautions.”
“Right.” He narrows his gaze, but says nothing more on the matter. “So what did you need?”
“Can you show me how you touched it?” She asks, holding it out to them. “Don’t -- don’t actually touch it. Just--”
Both reach for the object, hesitating. “Well, I just handed it to him--” Gwen begins, gesturing vaguely. It’s a flat, square-shaped object made of a dull metal - unremarkable, really, had it not been for the readings coming off of it. There was no interface, simply smooth metal. And yet, it was likely the cause for this switch. “Held it here, he grabbed it there.”
“It felt like static shock,” Ianto finishes, quirking his eyebrow as he gestures to the device. “Didn’t think much of it at the time.”
“Here, let me see that.” Jack reaches out for it, taking it and the rubber trivet from Tosh as he looks it over. “I don’t see any signs of triggerable interface. Nothing I’m familiar with.” He shrugs as he holds it out to Tosh again, just as Rhys reaches out.
“Hold on, that looks like a part off the side of a--”
“Mate, don’t touch it--!”
It all happens at once. Jack hands the device back to Toshiko. Rhys reaches out to grab it. Owen’s hand snatches Rhys’ wrist. The trivet slips in the chaos.
And all four of them are touching it.
There’s a yelp from someone - Tosh? - and they all snatch their hands back -- minus Jack, who keeps hold on it. For a moment, silence falls over the group, as they all blink at each other. Jack speaks first.
“ Now look what you’ve done!”
Ianto blinks at the english accent lilting on his tongue. Gwen takes an uncertain breath in. Chaos erupts.
“Well, it wasn’t my fault!” Owen starts in a loud, American accent.
“No, it was Rhys’, ” Rhys himself begins, his own inflection English.
“ Me?! ” Tosh demands, her words loud, angry, and most certainly Welsh. “If you ‘adn’t grabbed me, I wouldn’t’ve bumped it!”
“ OI !” It’s Gwen in Ianto’s body that interrupts the chaos, silencing everyone. “Right, you’ve all gone and switched then, ‘ave you?” Mumbled assent follows, and she inhales deeply, shaking her head. “Right, well then everything’s a bit more of a mess. Rhys, love -- is that you, in Tosh?”
“Yeah, guess it’s me,” he grumbles in response, and Gwen has to put effort into keeping a straight face at the sullen words coming out of Tosh’s mouth.
“Right, and -- Jack?”
“Here.” Owen’s hand raises, and she nods. “Owen?”
“I have the pleasure of inhabiting your husband currently.” His tone and expression make it clear it’s the opposite of pleasure.
“Which puts Tosh in Jack. Right. So...you said it wasn’t reversible?”
“It’s not, as far as I can tell,” Tosh-not-Jack answers, her lips pressed into a thin line -- a familiar expression on her own features, and foreign on their captain’s. “This is -- one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had.”
“I feel like I should be offended,” Jack responds, pressing a hand over Owen’s chest. “Weird, I’m not normally conscious when my heart isn’t beating.”
“Wait -- while we’re here --”
Already, Gwen has moved to snatch up a packet of crisps left over from dinner the night before, handing it to Owen before he can finish his thought. Without hesitation, he rips the bag open, shoving a crisp into his mouth and letting out a slow, drawn-out moan.
“Forgotten what this was like,” he mumbles, and Gwen lifts an eyebrow.
“Don’t get used to it, I’d like my husband back in that body soon, thank you.”
“If it’s not reversible, can we work out a system to put us all in a rotation?” It’s Ianto who interrupts, clearly picking up on the same train of thought that Gwen had earlier.
“...we can try,” Tosh responds, frowning at the device. “Don’t know if it’ll work.”
“Here, let me--” Jack reaches out, and she snatches it out of the way.
“Not reversible. And I don’t want to go messing up whatever order we’ve got before we do it.” Jack sighs, but backs down, glancing around.
“Okay, so -- if we can’t go directly back, we’ll all need to change bodies with someone in the interim.”
“I know. Give me a moment -- Ianto?” Tosh glances up, as he responds, reminding herself visibly to look to what she’s used to being Gwen.
“Yes?”
“Help me sort it?”
“It’d be my pleasure,” he responds, and trails Tosh off to her desk. For the moment, Gwen is left with the three men, glancing around.
“Right, so -- just...no one do anythin’ stupid. Hands off of everythin’.”
“What d’you take me for, Gwen?” Rhys asks, his tone appalled, and she shakes her head.
“I don’t take anyone for anythin’. Just a reminder. ”
For a few moments, there is nothing but awkward silence as they all stand there, avoiding looking at each other and themselves, until Ianto and Tosh return, a tablet clutched in Tosh’s (larger than usual) hands.
“Okay. We’re going to sort this, step by step, and if it works, everyone should be in their own bodies. First-- Ianto, you and Rhys switch…”
In the end, it takes far more confusion, swaps, and chaos than anyone had expected, but with Tosh and Ianto leading the way, they finally, blessedly find themselves in their own bodies. There’s no hesitation as Gwen grabs Rhys to kiss him full on the mouth, while the others are slightly more subdued in their celebration. Ianto takes the artifact from Tosh to put away in the archives, and Gwen hesitates, squeezing Rhys’ hand.
“Hold on, I’m goin’ to go talk to him.” She runs after him, catching up easily. “Hey. You all right?”
“I’m fine.” His eyebrows raise, and that signature half-smile quirks his lips as he glances down at Gwen. “And you?”
“Torchwood’s goin’ to have to pay for the therapy wakin’ up on top of Jack calls for, but yeah. I’m good.” She grins up at him, rewarded with a half-chuckle.
“I’m happy to take up that duty from you again. Wakin’ up with Rhys wrapped ‘round me isn’t exactly my favorite way to start the day, either.”
“Bet it was a shock when he found out,” she answers with a laugh, and Ianto offers his arm, which Gwen easily accepts, resting her hand in the crook of it as they so often have before.
“That’s a bit of an understatement,” he returns as they make their way into the archives. “He didn’t believe me at first, but once I convinced him, it was lots of yellin’, fair bit of swearing. Took a few moments to get him quiet enough to let me call.”
“I’d only been awake a moment when you did, and I’m glad. Wasn’t certain how to explain to Jack that I didn’t belong there,” she teases, and comes to a halt with him as she withdraws her hand from the taller man’s arm. “I’ll let you get that locked up. Need to go check in on my husband.”
“You do that. Nice to see you wearin’ your own face again, Gwen.”
“And you. Suits you better.” She turns to leave, before pausing. She should thank Ianto for being so calm -- without him, Gwen feels she’d have been far more upset and paranoid. And as easily as Gwen expresses emotions, Ianto tends to be more reserved. Maybe he’d be a bit more forthcoming of that after such an experience. “Ianto--” She turns, reaching out for the spot where she expects the other’s arm to be, and it’s only a split second of realization before she realises the other has moved to store the artifact -- and her fingers touch metal.
They stare at each other for a long moment, before Gwen glances down at the artifact in her hands, larger than she’d like, and her best mate wearing her face once again.
“...fuck.”