Chapter Text
dream team
gogy uwu : EMERGENCY
gogy uwu: EMERGENCY EMERGENCY EMERGENCY
spapnp: what the fuck
spapnp: george r u ok
spapnp: it’s like 8 in the morning wats wrong
gogy uwu: I AM IN . CLASS I AM IN CLASS AND TJERE IS A HOT MAN THERE IS A HOT MAN
spapnp: i do not deserve this
stupid leo bitch: no i can vouch gogy the man is hot
spapnp: ??????????????????????? I DONT CARE
gogy uwu: NO SAP PLEASE NO SERIOUSLY PLEASE IM GOING TO CRY HE IS SO ATTRACTIVE HE IS SO. HE IS SO HELLO? HELLO. OH MY GOD
spapnp: going back 2 bed
gogy uwu: OOHMGGYOD HES A EUROPEAN EXCHANGE STUDENNTNTTT SHUT THE FUCK UP
stupid leo bitch: sapnap i am not going to lie the dude’s pretty hot
spapnp: gn
gogy uwu: I CAN SEE U BLUSHING BITCH!!!!!!!!! I CALL DIBS
stupid leo bitch: ok
gogy uwu: it’s ok dre i’ll still kiss u goodnight tee hee
gogy uwu: god he is so hot. ohmygod CAN HE SIT NEXT TO ME DEAR FUCKING GOD
gogy uwu: GUYS HE IS SO PRETTY IM GOING TO CRY
gogy uwu: oh my god. wait dre we’re the only ones missing a client for our coding project DREAM DREAM. DREAM
gogy uwu: why is nobody responding to my messages
gogy uwu: HELLO??????????
gogy uwu: what the fuck dre he sat next to you
gogy uwu: im literally so appealing and sexy and cool and fuck you
stupid leo bitch: lol
gogy uwu: did you just fucking lol me
gogy uwu: ask him if he wants to be part of our group
gogy uwu: dream
gogy uwu: i can see you reading these
stupid leo bitch: OH MY GOD GEORGE ok
gogy uwu: please you have to help me woo him i am . frothing
gogy uwu: at the mouth
gogy uwu: dream
gogy uwu: my best friend my soulmate my partner for life
gogy uwu: help me get some dick please
stupid leo bitch: is mine not enough 4 u
spapnp: what the fuck. please stop flirting in the gc
gogy uwu: GO BACK TO BED BITCH!
gogy uwu: ahem clears throat anyways.
gogy uwu: dreammmmmmmmmm pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
spapnp: did u just type in “clears throat”
stupid leo bitch: i am so tired
gogy uwu: is that a yes
stupid leo bitch: .
stupid leo bitch: when have i ever said no to you
gogy uwu: LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THIS IS AN INTERVENTION
GAY BOY: help
GAY BOY: help me is anyone awake
psych major: Hi dream :D
GAY BOY: bad. bad u r the only good thing about this earth
emotional support himbo: lol not george????
GAY BOY: punz you will die by my blade
emotional support himbo: I don’t swing that way dream
GAY BOY: Please. Please. Please.
psych major: What’s wrong D:
mr doctor sir therapist: dre has a crush LOLLLLLLL
GAY BOY: I TOLD YOU TO GO THE FUCK BACK TO BED YOU STUPID BITCH
psych major: Hey!!!! Language dream >:C
GAY BOY: sorry bad
mr doctor sir therapist: yeah well karl’s awake now. so
GAY BOY: i hate the lgbt community
psych major: No fighting!!!! stop
GAY BOY: sapnap started it
mr doctor sir therapist: I am Sitting Here
psych: Did something happen dream D:
GAY BOY: sapnpnpgn. help
GAY BOY: explain it. please
mr doctor sir therapist: sigh
mr doctor sir therapist: ok so we all knwo ab dre’s big fat gay crush on george
emotional support himbo: dream I've said it before and I'll say it again if you don't secure the man I'm going to kiss him
GAY BOY: u r not helping. none of u r helping
mr doctor sir therapist: are u mr doctor sir therapist. no. shut the fuck up
psych major: Language sap
mr doctor sir therapist: sorry bad :(
mr doctor sir therapist: anyways tldr gogy wants 2 kiss a boy and it isn’t dre and dre also thinks the boy is hot and is probably pining for both at this point
GAY BOY: I LITERALLY DIDN’T EVEN TELL U THIS
mr doctor sir therapist: dream i am world renowned mr doctor sir therapist
emotional support himbo: i hav 2 remind u everyday that u gave urself that nickname
mr doctor sir therapist: shut up the fuck
psych major: SAPNAP. >:/
mr doctor sir therapist: SORRY BAD
GAY BOY: well. sapnap’s right. like always. ig
mr doctor sir therapist: of course i am right i am the love doctor
GAY BOY: please stop
mr doctor sir therapist: love doctor sapnap
GAY BOY: i only have so much strength at 8am
emotional support himbo: love doctor sapnap
GAY BOY: please
psych major: Love doctor sapnap :D
GAY BOY: not you too
bee s
dream boy: my friends are useless and also bitches
tubs: helo
dream boy: hi tubbo. i love u tubbo
tubs: helo
veto power: what’s wrong this time
dream boy: i’m gay :(
tubs: YOUR WHAT
tubs: wait nvm i knew that lol
veto power: tubbo
tubs: soooorroryyyyyy puf
veto power: there is nothing wrong with being gay dream. what happened
dream boy: i like a boy :(
veto power: yes that is what being gay usually does to you.
dream boy: but the boy likes a different boy :(
tubs: is it gogy
dream boy: fuck u tubbo
tubs: D:
veto power: well if the boy likes a different boy then you shouldn’t make yourself suffer dre.
dream boy: but the other boy is hot :(
tubs: that’s gay
dream boy: Fuck U Tubbo
veto power: okay so do you like the other boy too?
dream boy: i met him 20 minutes ago
veto power: h
dream boy: but also like he’s hot
dream boy: so like yes?
veto power: ok. um. have you ever talked to george about your feelings dream?
dream boy: LOL
veto power: fuck this going back 2 sleep
dream boy: WAIT
dream boy: PUFFY
dream boy: WAIT PLEASE I NEED YOU
dream boy: PUFFY I AM SORRY
tubs: lol dream liks 2 men
dream boy: tubbo
tubs: drem
dream boy: tubbo
tubs: ok
tubs: wait let me help
tubs: iam helpfull
dream boy: ok tubbo
tubs: just like kiss. like both of de men
dream boy: hey puffy come back please
tubs: folproof plan
i hate this fucking family
fundo bundo: hey guys i’m in class!!!!!!!
anarchist in training: want a cookie for that fundy
fundo bundo: i do not need this shit this early in the morning
wilby: that’s great funds!!!! how’s the jetlag been treating you
fundo bundo: it’s fine so far! a little tired but i am here
LITTLE BABY MAN: I’m not tired
fundo bundo: that’s great tommy
LITTLE BABY MAN: It is because my willpower is stronger than yours Fundy
fundo bundo: that’s lovely tommy
LITTLE BABY MAN: I am also in class right now and I am not tired unlike you who is tired
fundo bundo: that’s true tommy
LITTLE BABY MAN: Guys it is not working he isn’t breaking yet
wilby: tommy stop
LITTLE BABY MAN: Ok
wilby: anyways!!! what’s your first class of the day funds
fundo bundo: it’s like web app development nothing too fancy
LITTLE BABY MAN: What the fuck do those words mean
fundo bundo: u will learn eventually tommy
LITTLE BABY MAN: Ok Pog
wilby: whatcha doin then how r you texting on your phone
fundo bundo: will. u know me. i’m cool as hell. i break the law. the rules. nothing stops me from doing what i want
anarchist in training: lol coding profs dont care
fundo bundo: i am sick and tired of you you fucking fucker stupid fuck
anarchist in training: LOL
fundo bundo: whatever it’s fine prof’s teaching shit i alr know so
wilby: you’re so smart funds!!!!
fundo bundo: thank u will!!!
LITTLE BABY MAN: Who are you sitting with Fundy
LITTLE BABY MAN: Are there hot girls
fundo bundo: tommy i do not like women
LITTLE BABY MAN: Oops
LITTLE BABY MAN: Are there hot men
LITTLE BABY MAN: I hated typing that by the way
anarchist in training: tommy becomes a homophobe asmr
LITTLE BABY MAN: I AM NOT A HOMOPHOBE I AM A MISANDRIST
fundo bundo: um. ig the guy sitting next to me is cute
philza: WORM????????????
fundo bundo: why do u only ever come online 2 make fun of me
philza: blackmail material
anarchist in training: PHIL!!! WE :handshake:
philza: WE :handshake:
LITTLE BABY MAN: Hey can we go back to Fundy being gay
fundo bundo: I DIDN’T??? I
fundo bundo: i didnt even bring up
fundo bundo: i just said he’s cute
LITTLE BABY MAN: See Fundy when you are me you flirt with all the women that make you go MMMMMMMM and then it works because you are me
wilby: please do not do that
LITTLE BABY MAN: You are single and alone
philza: No Tommy it’s fine Will’s gf goes to a different school
anarchist in training: yeah she’s in a different timezone
wilby: i don’t like any of you
LITTLE BABY MAN: Haha Fundy Will just admitted to hating you
wilby: I DID NOT
anarchist in training: messed up
philza: :/ kinda shit will
fundo bundo: harsh man :/
wilby: I HATE THIS FUCKING FAMILY
private message — will, funds
will: i don’t hate you :(
funds: LOL will yes i know
will: pls
funds: u remind me everyday
will: so you have a crush
funds: I DONT ??
will: but you said your deskmate is cute
funds: i have never spoken to this man in my life wilbur
will: but he’s cute
funds: sigh. u r no help
will: ask for his number
THIS IS AN INTERVENTION
GAY BOY: george’s crush thinks i’m cute
GAY BOY: his name’s fundy btw
GAY BOY: it’s so cute
GAY BOY: his name i mean
GAY BOY: i mean he’s also cute
GAY BOY: god i am fucked
emotional support himbo: kiss him
mr doctor sir therapist: do not do that
emotional support: just kiss him and george
GAY BOY: please.pll ease i am malfunctioninf
psych major: OMG ^-^ Did he tell you that you’re cute?
GAY BOY: um
mr doctor sir therapist: dream
GAY BOY: his phone was right there pls he wasn’t even trying to hide it
mr doctor sir therapist: DREAM
GAY BOY: SAPNAP
psych major: Well this makes things more difficult D:
emotional support himbo: well . not really lol
emotional support himbo: dream wants to kiss george, george thinks new boy is cute, new boy thinks dream is cute
emotional support himbo: and george is pretty fucking cute so it’s not hard to get new boy to like george
emotional support himbo: and dream and george have basically been dating without them even knowing
emotional support himbo: just like. talk. lol
emotional support himbo: and date each other
GAY BOY: sapnap what the hell do i do
emotional support himbo: why am i even here
mr doctor sir therapist: I HAVE A FOOLPROOF PLAN
private message - double d, simp
simp: get his number
double d: what
simp: just do it. it’s part of my plan
double d: ok
i hate this fucking family
fundo bundo: HE JUST ASKED ME FOR MY NUMBER
LITTLE BABY MAN: What a simp
anarchist in training: TRUEEEEEE
wilby: THAT’S GREAT!!!! fundy this might turn into something
fundo bundo: oh dear god i am not emotionally prepared for this
philza: Why not
fundo bundo: ???? cute boy ?????????????? first day ????????????????????
LITTLE BABY MAN: Maybe if you were me you would be used to it
LITTLE BABY MAN: Because I get all the women
wilby: tommy
LITTLE BABY MAN: Ok Wilbur
wilby: it’s fine fundy! if anything, this is a great way to make your first friend
anarchist in training: lol one friend sadge
wilby: technoblade i will slice you in half
anarchist in training: What The Hell
fundo bundo: :< ur right will
fundo bundo: wait he texted me
fundo bundo: what the fuck
private message - double d, simp
double d: ok i got his number
double d: what now
simp: text him
double d: what the fuck
double d: we r literally in class next to e/o
simp: no no no
simp: text him like he’s george
double d: ?????
simp: like. flirt or something
simp: and then when he responds
simp: just be like oh shit texted the wrong person lol
simp: but it could be the right person
double d: that’s so fucking good oh my god
private message - fundy, dream
dream: hey lol
dream: im in class
dream: but im thinking ahout you
dream: youre so cute
i hate this fucking family
fundo bundo: [screenshot, 9:38 am]
fundo bundo: HELP ME?
wilby: oh shit wait moves????
LITTLE BABY MAN: Wow he is just like me
anarchist in training: he is literally right next to you why is he texting
LITTLE BABY MAN: Techno I think this new boy is onto something
anarchist in training: this is the worst attempt at flirting i have ever seen in my life
private message - fundy, dream
fundy: um
fundy: hi…
fundy: i am also in class
fundy: like right next to u actually
fundy: also what. lol
private message - double d, simp
double d: r u sure this is going 2 work
simp: foolproof plan
private message - fundy, dream
dream: OH OOPS
dream: haha sorry
dream: i texted the wrong person
dream: … but if you want you could be the right person
i hate this fucking family
fundo bundo: [screenshot, 9:46 am]
fundo bundo: guys what does this mean
wilby: OH MY GOD
LITTLE BABY MAN: I have definitely used that before
philza: And yet you’re still single Tommy
anarchist in training: wonder why
fundo bundo: none of u r helping
wilby: JUST ????????? TALK TO HIM
fundo bundo: WE R IN CLASS LIKE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER
anarchist in training: well that didn’t stop him now did it
wilby: what’s his name funds!
fundo bundo: dream
fundo bundo: it’s cute
fundo bundo: fuck
private message - fundy, dream
fundy: oh wow
fundy: are u flirting
fundy: in class
private message - double d, simp
double d: [screenshot, 9:52 am]
double d: what the fuck do i do now
simp: LOL
double d: QWHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN LOL YOISON OF A BITCH
double d: COME BACK HERE
private message - fundy, dream
dream: maybe
fundy: oh?
dream: unless you don’t. want me to
fundy: hmmmm
fundy set dream ’s nickname to fuckboy
fuckboy: WHAT
fuckboy: NO NO NO
fundy: hehehehe
fundy: my finger slipped
fuckboy: hmm. two can play at this game
fuckboy set his nickname to future bf
future bf set fundy ’s nickname to lover boy
future bf: my finger slipped :)
i hate this fucking family
fundo bundo: [screenshot, 10:01 am]
fundo bundo: Oh.
private message - lover boy, future bf
lover boy: i think i’ll keep this
lover boy: c:
emotionally stable boyfriends
simpnap: i told dream to use the strat i used when i was flirting with karl for the first time LOLLLLLLL
karlos: Oh my god the “wrong person but you could be right” one???????
simpnap: TEE HEE HEE!
quackicute: DREAM IS FLIRTING????????????????
simpnap: HE HAS A CRUSH
simpnap: it’s def not gonna work now LOL
simpnap: tee hee hee. what they get 4 waking me up at 8am
karlos: I thought he liked George??
quackicute: mans moving on…
simpnap: well
simpnap: not rly
karlos: Oh
karlos: OHHHHHH
quackicute: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
karlos: Sap babe do not meddle
quackicute: sap babe let’s meddle
karlos: YOU TWO
karlos: NO MEDDLING
simpnap: ok karl
quackicute: ok karl :(
private message - sap, q-tie
sap: so we’re meddling right
q-tie: YOU FUCKING KNOW IT