Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Like this Finn?” Sweet P flung his sword at the wooden dummy that Finn and BMO painted the night before to look like Jake. He tried his best but the sword stuck in the dirt at Dummy-Jake’s feet. Today’s training was not going very well...

“Hmmm...not quite. You gotta really focus. Imagine hitting the target with your mind eyes. And then…” Finn closed his eyes, focusing all of his hero might, then opened them abruptly throwing the sword straight through the dummy’s chest. “Slamacow! Like that.”

“You can do it Sweetpeee!” BMO cheered from by the pond. “I don't care what football says, I believe in you! Kill the Dummy-Jake!!!”

“My mind eyes…” Sweet P closed his eyes, sword in hand. It became eerily quiet. Even the birds in the surrounding trees fell silent.

“Uhh...Sweet P…” Finn’s voice was like a distant ghost. 

“Focus my mind eyes...and…” Sweet P threw his sword straight into the head of the dummy but it was already engulfed in purple flames. Sweet P plopped down in the grass. “Oh no...I’ll never get it right…”

“Aw, come on, guy!” Finn sat down as well, barely half the size of the boy he agreed to train. “You hit it this time. I don't know how you did that other thing, but it was really cool.”

“WHAT!” The door to the treehouse slammed open and Jake the dog ran out carrying a bowl of spaghetti. “Why is the Dummy of me on fire!?!”

“Hero training!” Finn stood up, “I’m teaching Sweet P how to be a great hero, remember?”

“Yeah...I remember...But why are you teaching him to fight me ?” Jake kneeled down by the charred remains of the dummy.

“Cheer up, Dummy. It's just a dummy. We can make another one tomorrow, okay! Is the spaghetti ready?”

“You’re a dummy.” Jake laughed and passed around the bowl of spaghetti for everyone to share. “You better make another Dummy tomorrow. And don't set this one on fire.”

“Yayyy! BMO loves spaghetti!” BMO screamed, taking a handful of the saucy pasta and smearing it all over his screen before running off again.

“Come on Sweet P, spaghetti break! You can't be sad when you’ve got a mouth full of spaghetti!” Finn said stuffing his mouth full.

Sweet P reluctantly got up from his pouty position on the ground to share some lunch with Finn and Jake.

“Finn, are you sure this training stuff is a good idea?” Jake asked softly.

“Of course it is!”

“I don't know man...what if Sweet P isn't cut out for the hero biz? Not everyone is cut out for hero biz…”

“Are you kidding me? Sweet P is bananas! He defeated the lich!”

“I’m just saying...what if it's not…..safe...to train him? He made fire with his mind, Finn… ”

“What??? Nooo! That was epic. He just needs more training. Sweet P is going to make a great hero.”

“No,” Sweet P stood up, tears in his eyes. “Jake’s right...I’m not cut out to be a hero…”

Before Finn could argue, Sweet P ran into the woods.

“Sweet P! Wait!” Finn’s voice echoed through the trees but Sweet P kept running. He just wanted to go home...but when he finally did stop running for a moment to catch his breath, he realized that he didn't recognize the surroundings. Once again, he was lost in the woods...

“Oh no…” He sat down by a fallen tree and started to cry. “I can't even run away right...I’ll never be a hero like Finn.”

Sweet P stayed put for a while, not sure what to do. It was starting to get dark when a loud noise frightened him.

“MY BEANS!!!”

Sweet P stood up and followed the direction of what sounded like Lumpy Space Princess.

“SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEE!!!”

“LSP?” Sweet P found himself at LSP’s little campsite. LSP was hiding behind a log and there was a big ugly ogre sitting at the campfire eating an entire supply of canned beans.

“Sweet P! That monster is gonna eat all my lumping beans!”

Sweet P’s eyes narrowed at the evil ogre. He picked up the log that LSP was hiding behind and raised it high above his head. 

“Lumpy Space Princess, are you o-” Finn ran through the bushes, sword raised, ready to fight off the threat.

“You leave LSP ALONE!” Sweet P slammed the log down on top of the ogre’s head with a massive THUNK and the thief was out cold.

“Sweet P you saved me! And you saved my beans!” LSP hugged the giant hero. “Thank you!”

“That was righteous Sweet P,” Finn said, “I told you you’re gonna make a great hero.”

Finn walked Sweet P home to the little cottage in the apple orchard where Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig were waiting.

“Sweet P! How was your day?” Mr. Pig welcomed his adopted son home with a hug.

“Oh yes, darlin’. How was your training with Finn?” Tree Trunks asked setting out fresh pies on the table.

“Training was MATH!” Finn exclaimed. “Sweet P is going to be a great hero! He even saved LSP today!”

Sweet P blushed, sitting down at the table.

“Oh that's just wonderful, Finn. We are so proud of you Sweet P.” Tree Trunks beamed. “Why don't you stay for some apple pie, Finn, to celebrate our little hero?”

“No that’s ok. I should be getting back to the tree house. Jakes waiting for me.”

“Oh, alright. You boys don't be strangers. Goodnight, Finn.”

“Yeah!” Finn laughed. “Same time tomorrow for more training, Sweet P?”

Sweet P smiled and nodded.

“Tomorrow."

Chapter Text

Finn decided to walk the long way to Sweet P’s house past the Jiggler’s Lair. It had been several years since he and Jake found the baby jiggler and every now and then Finn liked to visit him and bring him some drawings to eat. The jiggler still seemed to recognise Finn and after several visits, the other jigglers have come to know Finn as well.

When he finally arrived to get Sweet P for training, he found that Sweet P was already outside practicing with his sword.

“Hey Sweet P!” Finn shouted from across the apple orchard.

“Finn!” Sweet P stomped over quickly and excitedly, dropping the sword to pick up Finn and give him a giant hug. “I’m ready for more hero training. I’ve been practicing with the sword! I’m still not very good but I’m gonna work extra hard and get better!”

“Mmmhmm-” Finn struggled a little to breath while in Sweet P’s grasp. “Actually, Sweet P, I had something a little different in mind for today. I think you’re gonna like it!”

“Oh?”

“I was thinking, swords are kinda my thing. But maybe they’re not your thing. So today we are gonna go find you your own hero weapon!”

“My own hero weapon,” Sweet P gasped softly in awe.

Sweet P held Finn’s hand on their way to and throughout the market so they wouldn't get separated. Mommy and Daddy always hold his hands when they go to the market.

“We are gonna find you a super mega radical weapon here!” Finn said looking around. “One time, Jake and I came here looking for a new sword and that's how I ended up with the cursed grass sword hand!”

“Cursed…?” Sweet P asked nervously.

“Ehh it wasn't much of a curse in the end. But don't worry, that kind of stuff doesn't happen if you buy from vendors you trust.”

“There are sooo many vendors, Finn. How do we know who-”

“There!” Finn interrupted, pulling Sweet P towards a dinky little vendor cart manned by a funnily dressed goose. “Hey Choose Goose! This is my bud Sweet P. We are looking for a new weapon for him so he can be an awesome hero!”

“And what a hero you’ll be! Your first weapon is FREE!” Choose waved his wiggly little arms around excitedly, eager to do business with Finn and this new young hero. “I have swords, such a lovely array! Take one you like and have a nice day!”

“Hmm...Actually Choose Goose, we are looking for something a little different. Got anything else?”

“I’ve got plenty, just relax, and try for yourself a greataxe!” Choose Goose sang pulling a curtain to reveal an assortment of axes.

“Well Sweet P, go ahead.” Finn gestured toward the weapons. Sweet P picked a bright red greataxe off of the rack and gave it a firm swing only for the axe to fly out of his grip right into the wooden roof of Choose Goose’s shop.

“That’s no good, you nearly took off my head. Maybe safer to wield a halberd!” Choose Goose giggled handing Sweet P a shiny new halberd.

“How do I use this?” Sweet P held the weapon confused before simply handing it back. “Can I try a different one, please?”

“Of course, of course, I’ve got just the thing! You can shoot bullets out of this sling!”

Sweet P took the simple slingshot and loaded the end with the sample wooden bullet. He pulled back, taking aim and launched the bullet…backwards… 

“What else you got?” Finn took the sling from Sweet P.

“No luck so far? Try a throwing star!”

“No, Choose Goose, no more projectiles.” Finn frowned, not wanting to let Sweet P down on their outing. If he was going to be a great hero he needed the perfect hero weapon.

“Don't give up yet! Put on a gauntlet!”

Sweet P looked over the fancy assortment of strong metal gloves before sticking one on his index finger.

“They’re too small…”

“If you can take the proper stance perhaps you’ll do well with a lance!” 

“Choose Goose! Aren't those for horses?” Finn crossed his arms.

“You are right! I see your strife! Next take a look at a scythe!”

Sweet P studied the jet black scythe, decorated with little skulls.

“I don't like that one…” He said nervously. Then, another weapon caught his eye. Behind the swords was a single great warhammer. It was shiny and black decorated with golden lions. “What about that one?” Sweet P asked with a sparkle in his eye.

“Yeah! That hammer looked radical! Give it a try Sweet P!” 

Sweet P grasped the handle of the hammer, lifted it above his head and brought it down with a loud crash making a crater in the grass in front of him.

“Mathematical!” Finn exclaimed.

“I love it.” Sweet P said softly almost in disbelief. He finally found his hero weapon.

“In the end you’ve found your way! Enjoy the Roar Hammer and have a great day!”

“Bye Choose Goose!” Finn called.

“Bye Mr. Goosey man!” Sweet P smiled before turning back to Finn to say more quietly, “He was weird.”

“Yeah,” Finn laughed, “He is.”