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Chapter Text

___

Monday night

Astrid Kale has one green eye and one grey eye and waist length blonde hair.

Astrid Kale, a fifth year Gryffindor chaser, has one green eye and one grey eye and waist length thick blonde hair and sharp cheekbones and long legs. She has strikingly long eyelashes and an impeccable fashion sense and loathe as Lily to admit it - a beautiful laugh.

She also has a hand that's currently encircling James Potter's bicep and that - that right there, is possibly why Lily Evans is sitting near the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room, clutching a quill with more force than necessary and resisting the urge to ask Potter when he grew up, and why he left her behind like a misguided, silly infatuation of his youth.

She logically knows that its not his fault at all - it wasn't like he was ever obligated to always keep his attention on her - but she wonders when Potter, the fifteen year old bully, the arrogant git who boasted day in and out about his stupid quidditch moves became James Potter, the sixteen year old who calms down second year students having panic attacks and only gives her polite smiles and nods when they cross each other.

Lily sighs finally, she can't possibly do her Transfiguration homework like this - in Potter's vicinity - especially with the way he looks at Astrid Kale, his eyes fixed on hers as he tucks her hair behind her ear, grinning warmly - a smile that lacks the irritating overconfidence that he used to possess till last year. Lily has no problem admitting it to herself, like always - Potter has always been attractive, but now his personality isn't the problem either. There is - no problem.

Aside from the fact that, of course - he doesn't like her anymore.

She isn't sure that he ever did, maybe she was just the swotty prefect he used to like winding up. Whatever it is, she concedes - she's lost her chance. And that's that.

She gets up, packing her books to go back to the dormitory, waving a goodnight to Remus, who gestures with his hand for her to stay. She pauses as he rummages through his bag and tosses her a sugar quill - which she catches, wondering how transparent she is if Remus can tell something is off from the other corner of the dorm.

"I filled the detention forms for the second and third years," he says, grinning lopsidedly and Lily's affection for Remus rises immediately and heartily - thank god. She had been dreading that, what with her hundred incomplete essays and Charms Club planning. Prefect duties had taken a backseat to all that and Lily really didn't know what she would do without Remus.

She smiled gratefully at him, chewing morosely on her sugar quill and trying to not glance at Potter, Astrid and Sirius laughing on the next sofa.

She climbed the steps to the sixth year girls dormitory, hoping to all the gods above that she doesn't enter on Mary and Peter snogging, because that's been happening too many times for her sanity to remain intact.

The dormitory is - thankfully - empty, aside from Alice and Marlene sitting cross legged on the rug, a muggle vinyl record player between them, that they've tinkering with since almost a week.

"Hey, Lils," Marlene greets as she enters, not looking up from her what she calls her Muggle Mechanical Revolution. "You done with that last essay, on Human Transfiguration?"

"Almost," she answers, vaguely, moving to sit on her bed. "Any luck with your - uh - "

"First step of the Operation Bring Muggle Technology To Hogwarts Because Its Genius?" Alice interrupts, and Lily sighs resignedly, nodding. "We're reaching there. Just a little more."

Lily tries working on her essay, but even the simpler words like Crinus Muto are floating off the parchment.

She sleeps and she dreams of sugar quills with James Potter's face on each of their tiny heads, sitting next to a vinyl record that plays a constant string of Astrid Kale, Astrid Kale -

__

Tuesday Morning

She wakes up the next day with a firm resolve to not think about James Potter - or why her life feels like she's peaked already and now its just borrowed time she's living on. She takes a cold shower, brushes her hair, pulls up her stockings. She's Lily fucking Evans. She just needs to fake it till she makes it. Again.

Marlene, Alice, Dorcas, Mary and Lily go down to the Great Hall together, and Lily eats bacon and toast and drinks from a muggle can of Coke she carries on her - because she's kinda addicted to the stuff and it cheers her up. She watches the cool black drink fizz and pop, says a cheery good morning to Remus, resolutely ignores Severus's persistent and wistful glances from the Slytherin table, confirms her time table once with Dorcas and walks to Gryffindor-Slytherin Potions with Marlene.

She's again Lily Evans, in her material - her Prefect Badge gleaming, her books on her side as she walks to class early, teachers and yearmates smiling at her, aside from Slytherins, of course - as Marlene single handedly carries a conversation about Divination, which Lily has frankly - no interest in.

Its all going great.

So naturally, Slughorn chooses today to divide the class in groups of three to work, according to skill set - something that he's never done before.

Also naturally, now Lily - who had a plan for today, she had a goddamn plan is sitting right between James Potter and Severus Snape - because Professor Slughorn wants a potions batch that he can preserve, and the three of them are the best at potions in the class.

Its slightly disheartening that Slughorn doesn't even realize how impossible it is for the three of them to work together, even as Potter and Severus protest in vain for a good fifteen minutes and then proceed to glare at each other above her head.

Behind them, Sirius and Marlene are laughing their heads off - and Remus, sitting between them - is nudging Lily to give her another sugar quill.

Lily wants to die. And leave everything she has to her name to one Remus Lupin, because he is the only kind soul left around here.

Slughorn gives a list of the Potions they would be making the first month - including Elixir to Induce Euphoria, Wit-Sharpening Potion, Polyjuice Potion, Amortentia - and so many more that she hasn't yet read about. Lily copies them all down, wondering how they're ever going to get it done.

Severus and James seem to have decided that the only way out of this, without starting a duel around highly volatile Potions ingredients and a teacher - is to essentially ignore each others' existences - which they manage quite easily, both staring away from the front.

"Potter?" Lily says, finally - when she's done sulking as much as she can afford. "Potter!"

He startles, turning back around from where he was talking to Black - eyes wide and surprised - until he catches Severus's sneer and sneers right back.

"Can you move a little?" she asks, quite reluctantly, because its not as if she actually wants to go to the Supply Cupboard - that would obviously mean - making the potion. "We do need something to begin with," she adds, glaring pointedly at the ingredients tray kept on a shelf and his chair blocking hers.

"I'll get them," Severus says, rolling his eyes - even as James flushes and jumps up to move. "Merlin knows Potter's too much of an idiot to select the ingredients himself - he's apparently too slow to even provide fucking passage to anyone else."

Lily watches a furious Sirius being wrestled down to his seat by Remus from the corner of her eye and groans empathetically.

This is going to be one long month.

They finish off the class with nothing in their cauldron, which took them the better part of the hour to select and compromise - "Nobody wants to use your solid gold cauldron, Potter" - "My cauldron isn't solid gold, Snivelly, but obviously since yours is so filthy, it must seem like that" - they're now using Lily's - and a severely disappointed Slughorn.

Peter, Rosier and Pucey end up with a smoking cauldron and Lily walks out of the classroom, which now smells like burning hair - and frankly feels like burning off her own too.

Marlene runs after her and gives her a chocolate frog that Remus sent along.

Lily realises that the only sensible thing to do now - would be to propose marriage to Remus Lupin.

__

All the other classes go without Potter-sized or Severus-induced glitches, and she's in a pretty good mood by Lunch.

Then, she walks into the Great Hall and spots Potter laughing and opening his mouth wide - as Astrid Kale throws food into it - and her good spirits sour fast.

There's apparently a quidditch match today, and Astrid and Potter discuss Chaser strategies, while Remus ignores them and Lily regrets ever coming for Lunch.

Alice and Frank Longbottom, a seventh year Gryffindor - are conspicuously missing - and so are Mary and Peter. Dorcas and Lily chat about summer hols and last week's broom cupboard scandal and Marlene does a spot-on impression of Narcissa Black, and they laugh and for a while its completely normal again.

Then she glances up and sees Kale and her mood sours again. Its like a vicious cycle she's trapped in.

A cycle that involes James Potter, of all people.

First through Fifth Year Lily would be ashamed.

__

Tuesday Evening

Lily makes her excuses and leaves the late evening Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match early because she's had enough of seeing Potter's stupid hair in the stupid wind as he flies in loops and high-fives Astrid after every point they score.

Gryffindors are clearly winning.

She goes to the Library, gets quite a lot of work done - and feels extraordinarily proud when she realises she's been working for almost two hours - and hasn't been distracted even once. She goes back to the common room, and there's clearly a party happening - she passes Benjy Fenwick a stern glance which she hopes conveys that "I don't care if there's firewhiskey mixed in the butterbeer unless I'm forced to see it myself". She realises there's something wrong the moment she sees Astrid sitting with the other fifth years instead of with James.

The Marauders are missing.

Lily would be suspicious, but its highly likely that they're all planning another one of their Gryffindor won and everyone needs to know pranks that she's given up on trying to stop. She goes to the dormitory, writes a letter home, and talks to Alice and Mary till around nine, and then retires to bed early.

All in all, she concludes, it was a good start to Operation Get Your Life Back.

She should have known it wasn't going to work so easily.

___

Tuesday Night

She gives up trying to sleep by around two at night. She's probably already had a small nap - maybe nine to eleven, and now she feels surprisingly energized and very soon, she gets quite tired of all the tossing and turning she's been doing.

So, she slips on her pair of slippers and walks down to an empty common room and sits in front of the fireplace, feeling strangely old and wise as she thinks about her dozen problems. Yes, that Lily Evans, what a saint she was. She died a virgin, you know, out of sheer stress.

The warmth feels quite nice and so, she lies down for what feels like a second - but must be more - because when her eyes open, it isn't quite as dark. Moreover, there are people. People whisper-shouting in the common room, at what she can only assume is very, very early in the morning.

" - you're a fucking idiot, Padfoot, we're never ever doing that EVER again - "

" - oh, calm down, its barely a scratch, where's your sense of adventure - "

" - it probably broke right along with most of the skin on your chest or maybe - oy, Pete, get the kit! - "

" - Merlin, stop shouting, Prongs - even I'm dead on my feet - I'm smaller than you both, I literally travel fifty times the distance you - "

" - ouch - ouch, ouch - James, stop squeezing there - "

There's a creaking noise as Lily rubs her eyes a little and watches Peter Pettigrew scuttle up to the boys dormitory - and then stands up, turning around to look at - the horrified and pale faces of James Potter and Sirius Black, each of them looking scratched up and dirty - Sirius's torso gruesomely injured. It looks like someone repeatedly sliced him with a knife, his waist is blue and black, and covered in blood, slashed horribly - rib bones looking oddly bent. Lily gapes back, even more horrified.

What did they get themselves into, now?

" - the fuck?" she hears herself whispering, her gaze sweeping over them, both still in their quidditch robes. "I - how did you - why are you not with Madam Pomphrey yet?!"

James and Sirius snap their jaws shut simultaneously, both with defiant expressions of some kind - James's sheepish and Sirius's angry. "What're you doing here, Evans?" Sirius spits out finally, though its not very venomous because he makes a pained hiss in the middle - as James settles him down on a couch. "Feel upto a four a.m. walk, do we?"

"That's quite rich coming from you," she replies, automatically, inching closer to them. "I'm not the one who's sliced open here."

Both James and Sirius wince.

"Look - Evans - Lily," James amends, speaking in a placating kind of voice as if he expects her to shout or run to Dumbledore right now. "There's a reasonable explanation and I'd absolutely love to give it right now, but see - thing is, we're a bit busy so why don't you go back to your - "

"There's no dittany," Peter interrupts in a panicked voice, rushing out of the dormitory with a huge medicinal potions kit in his hand. "There's no dittany, I told you fuckers earlier - oh - hello, Evans - what, er - what are you - "

Sirius passes out.
James panics instantly.

He curses and starts rummaging through the kit, pulling out what she recognises as Pain Potion, and Blood Replenishing potion - pouring them easily down Sirius's throat, almost looking helpless as he tugs at his hair. "We'll have to go to Madam Pomphrey, fucking hell - "

Lily takes a deep breath - surely, all questions can wait - and takes the kit from James's shaking hands, who is so surprised that he doesn't even protest much as she takes out her wand and cleanly cuts a bandage from the roll and takes out a salve. She shakes off Sirius's already ripped off shirt, applies a strong numbing charm on him, and two Episkey's on the bones that are jutting out strangely - as she rolls up her sleeves and looks at Peter, who is standing and staring.

"Go get some dittany from Madam Pomphrey's stores," she says, her wand moving swiftly as she casts detection spells on Sirius's torso to see what the problems are. "I think it'll be - "

"She doesn't," James says, shaking his head, his breathing deep and uneven. "Atleast not somewhere we can nick it from. We tried in the evening for more, but there wasn't any. We were kind of relying on our luck or maybe on some miraculous spare dittany - "

It comes to her in a flash.

Keys.

"Okay, okay, listen - Peter just run and get clean pieces of cloth and wet them a little, don't try a blood siphoning charm, it might pull out too much blood, he's all open," she turns to him who is looking at her intently, nodding along. "Clean his wounds and reapply the bandage on the deep one, right there," she points to the lower one, "And James and I'll go get dittany."

"Where're you going to - " Peter begins, but James stops him with a hissed "just do it!"

She runs up to her dormitory and after an agonising ten second search - she finds what she's looking for. She runs down again, where James is fidgeting, trying to look inside at what she's doing. He doesn't ask - its almost like he trusts her completely, a feeling she can't yet process - and she doesn't explain, not until they're standing right outside Slughorn's office.

She pulls out the spare keys to the office, that he gave her long back in fourth year for brewing on weekends, if she wants to - and unlocks the door as softly as she can.

They get lucky, because a small brownish green bottle labelled Essence of Dittany is sitting right in front on the middle shelf, so she picks it up, smells it for confirmation - and races right out with it, throwing the keys behind to Potter who catches them without fumble and starts locking the door again.

When Lily reaches, Sirius is pale and - he looks worryingly dead - the blood isn't gushing out so fast anymore but Peter's clothes are completely covered in it, his expression terrified.

She makes short work of the dittany, carefully pouring only two drops on the smaller gashes, and three on the deeper ones - watching the greenish smoke billow upwards with grim satisfaction, as the slashes heal, the skin knitting together like it hadn't ever been sliced apart.

She sighs a little, sitting back on her haunches and putting the cork in the bottle. Peter and James - who's returned now, with a little more color on his face - remove Sirius's clothes and vanish them along with the blood everywhere, accioing clothes from their dormitory. When they're dressing him back, Lily notices a little black tattoo right on his collarbone - and feels sick all over again.

TOUJOURS PUR - it says, in bold script - which Lily translates in her head as Always Pure - she knows its the Black family motto, because Sirius says the same phrase ironically all the time. Lily feels that its something he really wouldn't want her to know about. She's thinking of so much at the moment, its kind of hard to collect her thoughts. She wonders whether all the Blacks have it. And whether all of them want it.

She belatedly remembers Remus telling her that he would be going home today to visit his mother - and thinks that this ragtag group certainly need him if this is what happens when he isn't there.

She tips a little more Blood Replenishing Potion down Sirius's throat, just in case, and stands up - suddenly exhausted and dying to go to bed.

She starts walking towards the girls dormitory, casting a Tempus - she's going to interrogate the fuck out of Potter in the morning, but there's three hours to go till then - when he suddenly runs up and blocks her path.

He hands her back the keys, his expression oddly inscrutable.

"Thank you," he says, heavily - gratefully - and she understands what he means, even though he hasn't said anything. "Sirius might have - " he breaks off, and Lily nods with a small smile.

"Its alright," she says, and completely on impulse - reaches out and squeezes his hand comfortingly. His eyes widen dramatically and his hand stills, as she lets go as quick as possible. Calm down, Evans, he's looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky only because you saved his best friend's life, there isn't anything else to it -

"You owe me an explanation, Potter," she says, trying to lighten the situation - her throat dry, face warm all of a sudden. "Or two. Maybe, three."

If James looked nervous before, he looks postively terrifed now. Does he not trust her enough to tell her what they were doing? Was it possibly illegal? Oh, who is she kidding. It must have been illegal. Does Astrid fucking Kale know what it was -

"Okay," James said, finally, looking determined - and all her thoughts about Astrid Kale vanish instantly. "It - its not exactly my secret to tell. But I'll tell you my part of it. I solemnly swear," he adds, with a weak grin because he's a marauder and they all speak like that for kicks.

"Night, Potter," she says, nodding and sending him a last smile over her shoulder, as Peter hauls Sirius off the couch behind him.

"Sweet dreams, Evans," he replies, his cheeky grin back in full force for a moment - and for a second, Lily is worried that he knows that she dreams about him sometimes.

___

Wednesday

"Lils! Lily - Lily wake up!"

Marlene Let's pour cold water on the stragglers Mckinnon wakes Lily up and she does everything hurriedly, rushing out of the dorm room. The Common Room is clean, like nothing happened there just a few hours back. Moreover, the marauders are all on the breakfast table, none of them looking particularly ill or injured. Lily blinks and wonders if it was another crazy dream but then James turns around and winks at her as he piles more food on his plate and Sirius passes her a nod and a cheery, "Morning, ginge!" - so then she questions just how many times this happens, if they're so unfazed by it.

There is no Potions Class, a fact for which Lily could kiss whoever set the time table - but there's Arithmancy and Defense and Care of Magical Creatures, and she walks there with Marlene and Sirius, who holds her books and is generally acting like her chauffeur. He's laughing when he does it, so its kind of funny and Lily lets him. When they reach the class, Lily realises that Sirius doesn't have Arithmancy, and turns around to tell him off to go to his own class - but he just smirks and backs out, with another exaggerated flourish and bow, as Marlene watches with a  worrying amount of curiosity.

"Call me if you need, alright, ginge?" he says, and races back along the corridor, without looking at her gaping bemusedly behind him.

In Care of Magical Creatures, the marauders are all there again - Peter having a disturbing eye staring contest with a pink and purple colored Fwooper - when Sirius walks upto her with a pack of Bertie Botts, offers it to her and proceeds to ignore James pleading for a spearmint flavour one. He doesn't say thank you, but again - he doesn't need to, he's charmed all the beans to do it.

That evening, Sirius, Peter and James come to her with parchments and quills - and they have almost a two hour long discussion on the Muggle Studies Assignment. Lily probably laughs more than she's ever done - the three are completely ridiculous - and its funny, how she never realised how easily she fits into their dynamics before this. James promises that he'll explain everything in a day more because - the explanations will have to wait till Remus gets back.

She tries focusing her attention on Peter and Sirius, but she's also quite sure that James is staring at her a lot. That's certainly a good sign, right?

After James and Peter go back to bed, Sirius waits for a moment more. And he looks straight in her eyes, and there's something unreadable there - and says, "He'll come around, Evans. You did, didn't you?"

Lily can do nothing more than stare at his retreating back, and wonder if she was staring too wistfully at James.

He'll come around, Evans.

Hope rises in her heart too fast, too hard - like always, but Sirius would know James, right? They're practically brothers. If he thinks James will, then, well -

She tries to stifle her smile as she goes back up to her dormitory. Its quite difficult  because she's just talked in a civil manner - friendly, even - with James Potter in a day more than she had in five years.

He'll come around, Evans.

___

The next day, James's grandsons come to Hogwarts.

___

Thursday Morning

The arrival of James Potter's children, or grandchildren, if his sensibilities are to be believed intact - misplaced in time, the children themselves guessed, fifty or so years - is the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

Its a typical Thursday morning, fifteen minutes into Lunch - when there's a sudden, loud noise, the floor of the Great Hall trembling as Dumbledore stands up at the Heads Table, taking out his wand. James himself, is ironically late - he walks into the Great Hall just as the shadows bend around him in an alarming manner, disappearing in a fraction of a second. When the Hall blinks in the sudden light, the two teenagers lying sprawled in front of him, raise themselves on bruised elbows and hands, like they just fell from the ceiling.

"Dad?" the first kid asks. He has dark, messy hair - the typical Potter hair, and a pale, sharp face. Lily can see his stormy, grey eyes flash as he looks up at the Hall, shaking.

"Is that - " his brother, or possibly friend, starts incredulously.

"Oh," the first one interrupts, says, standing up with a wobble. "I think - maybe - I shouldn't have said that. Er - hello. My name is James."

James Potter, the one in-shock sputters.

"I'm Sirius," the other one says, and some people laugh nervously in the otherwise silent hall. He has scruffy, blonde hair - and his eyes gleam green even in the cloudy Hall.

Astrid Kale has one green eye and one grey eye and waist length blonde hair.

Lily swallows unsteadily, shutting her eyes against the definite proof that James is going to have a family - which doesn't include her. Kale looks obnoxiously happy - and James looks amazed -

That's fine.

She wonders whether James actually named his own sons after him and his best friend, but its made known in the matter of an hour - that they're his grandsons. Twins, chronologically displaced by almost half a century. She tries not to focus on the implication that they're named after their grandfather and his friend - coupled along with the fact that they're currently almost at war -

After the initial chaos of their arrival, Professor Dumbledore hustles them upstairs and when they return, they're quite tight lipped and defensive.

They're twins, they explain. They weren’t sure how they’d ended up back in time. They’d been sneaking out of Hogwarts to buy butterbeer and they had barged into some room on the third floor to avoid Mcgonagall and found themselves here instead. They met all guesses as to their grandmother's identity with blank stares, but they didn’t bother denying the other half of their parentage. They looked too much like Potter to do that.

But again, Astrid Kale had one green eye and one grey eye and waist length blonde hair. And pale skin and cheekbones like theirs. It was painfully obvious.

"Time is not a substance to be played with lightly," Dumbledore said, when he came back - as though they were all running off trying to play with time every other day. "Watch out for signals of any slippage or contradictions. If we start affecting the future by accident, it is very likely that we will get symptoms of it here at some point."

It was ridiculous, it was nonsense, completely pointless - and why hadn’t Dumbledore just hidden them away, anyway? If he was so worried about his precious time continuum. He could save them all the trouble of dealing with another lot of Potter mayhem - possibly prevent the apocalypse.

Yet, they're both to stay in the Gryffindor boys dormitory, and James and Sirius look overjoyed when Dumbledore makes the announcement. Severus passes her a different kind of glance than normal - and it definitely makes her skin crawl unpleasantly.

The Potter twins are scarily like their namesakes, bright, energetic, loud. They take seventh year Charms and fifth year Potions and sixth year Defense, as the curriculum at Hogwarts would apparently change quite a lot in the fifty years to come.

"You can call me Jerry, so there isn't continuous confusion," she hears James ll say to the marauders - when they're in Common Room that evening, and Lily is avoiding the two like the plague. "That's what everyone calls me."

Sirius raises an eyebrow questioningly.

The twins exchange a glance, before shrugging - and saying, "They're my initials. Its James Regulus. J.R."

Sirius and James look quite horrified - but Lily can see the smile that twitches on Sirius's face once.

"I don't care what you call me," the one with the lighter hair says, shrugging. "But its Sirius Remus. People call me Tom sometimes. Like Tom & Jerry."

Its slightly overwhelming.

So is the way the twins look at Astrid - with so much awe and wonder in their expressions - is she that great a grandmother? -

Sirius Jr's blonde hair and Astrid's look eerily alike in the golden-red light, and all Lily can see now are her sharp cheekbones on Jerry's face - its all quite disconcerting.

When Lily walks back to her bed, Sirius passes her another unreadable glance.

___

Thursday Night

She can't sleep again.

There are, now, multiple Potters in her dreams, because now he has kids and grandkids and great-grandkids -

She slips on a robe around her and walks down to the common room again. Like always, Potters have to ruin all her plans - so they're sitting right outside, talking in hushed voices.

" - father's going to kill us so bad, and I don't even know what we're doing about the whole Evil-Overlord-still-at-large situation - "

" - Dumbledore told us he'll handle it, and there are memory charms and potions, this is almost a holiday, Jerry, calm down - "

" - it is kind of brillant, isn't it? The marauders in real, actual life - "

Lily is frankly tired of eavesdropping on Potters, and so she chooses that point to just walk out from behind the corner.

They both stare at her, like she's a hippogriff who's been taught to walk and talk.

"You're Lily, aren't you?" James blurted out, and Lily nodded, slightly warily. How do they know her? Maybe she's a family friend or - or they know just her name from somewhere else - the thought is frankly devastating.

"I'm James," Jerry - or James - said, like Lily didn't yet know that. "My brother's Sirius."

"...yes, I know," she said, trying to make her smile look not strained. "What - uh - what're you doing up so late?"

Its like she's said something magical. She was frankly running out of things to say - and her general irritation is now leaking in the form of concern. They seem to like that.

They both grin at her, uncannily like their grandfather and his friend. "Just talking," Jerry said, finally. "Its been - quite a long day."

"I'd bet," she mutters, huffing out a quiet laugh as she sits down in front of the fireplace. "You Potters are just too much trouble, aren't you?"

Tom picks at his jumper, throwing bits into the fire. "Something like that."

___

Chapter Text

___

Friday morning

Lily wakes up fresh and warm and somehow, quite happy. She doesn't know how it happened, really - but she managed making friendly small talk with the Potter twins the night before - came back to bed, and actually slept. They were pleasant to talk to, even if they all talked about inane, unimportant things - both were completely sincere about keeping any futuristic events secretive - and Lily had to concede - Kale's genes were doing the Potters good.

She yawns and looks at Marlene - whose hand is falling off the bed - with the kind of fondness that being in a happy mood makes you feel for just about everyone.

Lily also has a small, fluffy blue blanket kept on her desk that Jerry handed to her with a small shrug when she said she was feeling cold in the common room - she forgot to return it and had made her way to the dormitory before realising that. She should probably return it right now.

She changes quickly, folding the blanket, waving a good morning to a grumpy Alice - and makes her way down to the common room. Its all so very quiet, that she feels like tip-toeing, just out of principle. She reaches the boys dormitory and knocks twice, because she really doesn't want to keep the blanket till after school and she's definitely not carrying it to breakfast.

The door opens - and Lily looks down instinctively - at the very, very naked chest of one Sirius Black.

Who has followed her gaze and is now smirking, his dark hair tied in a messy bun at the top - eyes squinty but glinting in a way that screams look at this innocent face, do you really think I could set Mrs. Norris on fire?

( - Hint : He could. And he did. Twice - )

But boy, is he toned.

He folds his arms and leans against the doorframe, infuriating smirk firmly in place. "Evans," he greets, inclining his head.  "Is there a reason you’re ogling me through the entrance to a private boys dormitory at this fine morning hour?"

Lily forces herself to not flush, and drags her eyes upto his face - does even James sleep shirtless? she wonders distractedly, and steeling herself, looks Sirius in the eye. "You really shouldn’t answer your door dressed like that," she says, wondering what he would have done if it was say Mcgonagall. Flirt, probably. "Or not dressed, in your case."

Sirius raises an eyebrow, lips twitching upwards in amusement. "Duly noted. Why're you here? And more importantly, are you going to take points or hex any of us?"

"Are you going to let me in?" she asks, unimpressed.

"Certainly not if you're going to hex me," he retorts, now looking quizzically at the blanket in her hands - like he's wondering if she's planning to sleep there.

Lily rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to hex you," she says and walks past him into the dormitory - which he doesn't seem to have much of a problem with. He's still grinning like an idiot.

Their dormitory is bigger than the girl's, probably because they have two extra beds for the - er - accidental students. There are six beds in total, five of them looking like complete disasters. Peter's is the one right in front, as it says clearly on an actual nameplate - and he's sleeping under so much bedding, its a wonder he's still breathing.

The one next to it has quilts and books scattered on it, but is unoccupied - so it must be Remus's, who still isn't back from home. On its left, is obviously Sirius's, because there are too many photos and posters and music records and a leather jacket hanging off the curtain rod.

The bed right at the extreme left end looks impeccably, impossibly clean for a teenage boy, it even has a plain, white counterpane kind of sheet pulled over the bedding. On the table next to it, there's a quidditch captain batch - which means that its obviously - James's - and a photo frame with a bunch of people waving, who she can't see clearly.

He's - so utterly and surprisingly neat, she thinks wondrously. The shoes next to the rack are tidily arranged, the socks hang on a side, straight and clean - there is a pile of arranged books. Over the hangings, a golden snitch is hovering - likely enchanted to stay in the vicinity.

Sirius clears his throat loudly, and pointedly - the evil git.

"Also, I haven't ever hexed you," she adds, to avoid looking at him - lying unashamedly and trying to discreetly look for James. Where is he? He couldn’t have gone on to breakfast without his little posse, right?

"That's a lie, Evans," comes a muffled voice. Its Peter, probably. She doesn't remember hexing Peter, anyway, so that seems a null point.

"Uh - no, actually," she says, hefting up the blanket. "I just came to give this back."

She walks to the other side, where she can see Tom's blonde hair peeking out of the quilt and keeps it on the next table. "Thanks for the blanket, Jerry," she says, quietly and Jerry replies with a mumbled, "No problem." All the while, Sirius is still fucking smirking with that unreadable look on his face. She absolutely hates him -

"And catch a glimpse of dear ol' James?" Sirius asks, with a positively evil grin.

Yes! Where is he?!

"How'd you even have friends, Black?" she grumbles, aloud, rolling her eyes. "You're so completely intolerable."

Peter makes a sound of agreement, from under his twelve layers of quilts - which Black, naturally - ignores.

"I'm sure you said charming and devilishly handsome, but my hearing is not the best in the morning," he says, waggling his eyebrows, which is - for some unknown reason - making his hair fall undone from his bun. "Anyway, if anyone here," he looks around for dramatic effect, probably, "was looking for James, then I would - hypothetically, of course - tell them, that he goes for early morning quidditch everyday."

"Everyday?" Lily asks - without thinking, horrified that he subjects himself alone to the mornings on purpose - cursing herself mentally as Sirius's face lights up.

"Everyday," Sirius confirms, solemnly. "Only way to pick birds, I'm told. Of course," he gestures to his chest, face completely sincere, " - he's not as well endowed as this."

Lily huffs, ignoring whatever irritating innuendos Black is making early in the morning and starts walking out, a little disappointed - because it would have been nice to see James - shirtless, hopefully, she admits to herself with no little amount of shame.

That only happens in George Clooney movies, Evans, she tells herself morosely. James is not going to coincidentally come out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his waist when she just happens to be in the room like - like - some sexy, 1950's hero. That doesn't happen in real life. That's absolutely not going to happen.

What does happen - however, is a sudden, cheery "Morning, boys!" from behind her somewhere and a spectacular collison and sweaty hands and Lily blinking - in part horror, and part he smells like grass and rain - as she looks at the bold red and gold jersey that says POTTER 1. There are panicked, "I'm so sorry!"s from both sides as Sirius almost howls with laughter.

Lily finally untangles herself - and even though it all probably took just about two seconds, it feels much longer - and gets up, steadying herself and offering James a hand, whose glasses are now hanging off his nose. She feels that laughing abruptly would not be the best response here, so she controls that urge and lets go of James's hand the moment he's up.

He's staring at her something wierd, though.

Does she have something on her face? Oh, Merlin, was that why Black was laughing the whole time - No. No, that’s hardly a reason to worry, Black's always upto something, anyway.

She must be blushing furiously, and so, she tries looking away - but now, everybody is staring at them. The twins are sitting upright - eyes wide and curious expressions as they watch - probably wondering why she's such a homewrecker, she thinks gloomily - while Peter is hauling himself out, kicking off his blanket with loud thuds and muttered curses.

Lily glances back at James, and on a whim - adjusts his glasses back on his nose. His eyes widen comically, and he opens his mouth to speak - but Lily is a gutless weasel - gryffindor, my ass - she thinks and all but runs out of the room, still hearing Sirius's snickers halfway through.

She's so far gone. She has surpassed the void and descended to the other side, that's how far she's gone.

___

She and Marlene walk to the Great Hall in uncomfortable silence. Lily has repeated what happened in the boy's dormitory a hundred times over in her head - and all it says is that she's a terrible person, and that she should not be trusted to be in a situation like that ever again.

When they reach, Lily looks at the table - and groans, mentally - they're all already there. She wonders whether it would be odd if she dragged Marlene to the kitchen with her right now. Better than looking Sirius Black in the face, she decides. She turns to Marlene - trying to rearrange her face into a kind of casual nonchalance - as Marlene squints at her, before saying, "What’re you doing?"

 "Er - smiling?" Lily suggests, because she literally hasn't done anything yet.

"Why does it look so painful?" Marlene the unsympathetic friend says, completely unsympathetically. "You look like somebody kicked your crup."

Lily sighs - and gives up on breakfast altogether.

They still get a chocolate cupcake and a coffee each from the kitchens and make their way to Defense, as Lily explains the whole morning situation.

"So, you want to shag him?" Marlene summarises, in an extremely Marlene way. Atleast she didn't laugh. Well, not a lot, Lily amends.

Yes, just so.

"No!" Lily yelps. "No - I mean, I wouldn't be adverse to - no. No, I want to - I don't know what I want. What do I want, Marls?" she asks resignedly, passing her a sideways glance.

Marlene just gives her a pitying smile as they enter the Defence classroom, where the twins are already sitting at the back.

Lily wants Astrid Kale to take a long walk off a short ledge from the Astronomy Tower but she should probably keep that to herself.

___

When Lily Evans had been a tiny first year, she had been warned by Severus to expect History of Magic to be inexplicably boring. Professor Binns was dead, he had said - and he was probably boring even before he lost all will and skill to live.

She had, however - not expected Defense to be what it was. She'd been expecting excitement. Danger. Cool spells. Real magic. Duelling, like in the olden days of glory and, well.

Instead, they got... this.

Professor Retre was old, had literal dust in his beard - and like his name, Lily held the opinion that he should probably retire.

He was easily the most competent out of all the teachers they had been assigned since first year, certainly, but that wasn't a very high bar to cross.

" - is a positive force, a projection of the things that a dementor feeds upon - hope, happiness - but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the dementors can’t hurt it. But I will warn you all - this charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it as it requires a great deal of self-awareness, concentration, and attention."

Lily's head jerked up, as Professor Retre enunciated the last word a little more forcefully than the rest - realising that most of the class wasn't listening. The Potter twins were sitting at the back with the marauders, chins resting on their hands - Marlene was on her left, Alice on her right - and Dorcas in front of her, rolling up her sleeves. Mary and Peter were holding hands under the table next to Dorcas.

"So, today, I just want all of you to learn the incantation, Expecto Patronum," he continued, still in the same, slow monotone. "Its a mouthful, but nothing too much. Expecto Patronum. I also want you all to find a memory. Muster the happiest memory you can think of - the happier the memory, the better the charm will work. Do some self reflection, if being in a group helps you, you do that - "

People immediately started getting up from their places.

" - right, right, ravenclaws on the left, gryffindors on the right, go on - go on, Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, inside the class, only! - "

"Come on, Padfoot, do it with me," James says, brandishing his wand as Lily and Alice walk to the back to where most of the gryffindors are sitting. " - on three, two - "

"I'm not doing it," Sirius says, abruptly pocketing his wand - his expression decidedly shady. "I'm not - I can't do it."

"Yes, you can," James insists, furrowing his brow and clearly not getting the hint. "You can, and I've seen your form - "

"Yes, well - its changed, alright," Sirius says, through gritted teeth and James's mouth falls open in surprise. "My form's changed and I'm not doing it here."

There's an awkward pause, before Marlene tsks and jumps up on the desk, crossing her legs, "If Black's done being a little bitch, can we start with the actual - "

Lily sighs, happy memory it is, then.

____

Nobody from their class ended up actually trying to produce a patronus, even as James helped Marlene and Dorcas, and passed Sirius odd glances, which Sirius expertly ignored. The twins looked quite bored, but they seemed to know their patroni already, which was proved as Tom flicked his wand up, easily shooting a corporeal silver snake that coiled around his neck. Jerry looked pensieve for quite some time, before saying that he probably shouldn't show his form to anyone. James and Sirius looked quite curious at that and a little put out with the snake - before conceding that yes, it was a lovely creature if it didn't try to kill you.

Lily hadn't tried her best and she knew it, but it was surprisingly difficult to search for a happy memory. She would practice on the weekend.

Professor Retre did make them all clap for Tom, though - who looked detachedly amused by that, the snake around his neck flicking its forked tongue haughtily.

_____

Friday Afternoon

When Lily and Dorcas reached the Great Hall, James was half choking on something and half incredulously yelling, as both Tom and Jerry exchanged amused glances. Lily took a seat diagonal to them, glancing once at Astrid Kale on the fifth year table.

" - What - what do you mean you don't know what Zonko's is?!" he asked, indignantly as Tom raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, shaking his head. "How can you not know what Zonko's is - oh - don't tell me, there's going to be no joke shop fifty years later?!"

"Joke shop?" Jerry asked, realisation on his face now. "Zonko's is a joke shop? Oh. Well, we do have a joke shop, actually, I think Uncle Ge - "

"Yeah," Tom said, overriding him quickly. "We do have a joke shop. Its quite bigger than yours, I suppose, it has like three branches. Zonko's was bought by it, sometime when we were really small, I guess."

That seems to mollify James, who nods with the appropriate amount of respect that a joke shop with three branches deserves. "You should still come with us to Hogsmeade, I mean, Zonko's is a classic - "

"Where's Padfoot, James?" Peter asked, looking around at the table.

"Oh, he went to meet Mo - ary," James said, wincing. Peter snorted next to him, giving him a sideways glance.

Lily passed him a strange look. "He went to meet Mo-ary?" she asked, dubiously.

"Uh-huh," James said, nodding quickly. "Sirius went right after Defense to meet her. Very, very urgent."

"Mo-ary?" Marlene asked again, grinning.

"Yup," James confirmed. "I'm rubbish at pronouncing hard names like Moary. See? Its quite difficult, Ma-ory? Moary - Ma-Ry?"

"Yeah, Potter?" Mary said, coming up behind him - definitely without Sirius. "What are you guys - "

Peter's shoulders shake with laughter as Mary smiles bemusedly, pecking him on the cheek - while James bangs his head on the table - sending a green grape flying at Lily's head.

___

Every evening on Fridays, Lily has Charms Club.

Pros : She loves Charms, and she loves being able to teach Charms to those who're interested in more than just the basic curriculum.

Cons : Sirius and Regulus Black.

Frank Longbottom, Lily and Sirius arrange Charms Club - except that Frank is Head Boy and has been very busy this year and Sirius is well, Sirius so its majorly upto Lily to plan everything.

Regulus Black specifically hates Lily Evans, and she has a feeling that it doesn't even have too much to do with her heritage. No, its because, the first day she saw him in the room - she mistook him for Sirius.

And that, apparently - was a horrendous insult that he will hold a grudge for, for all of eternity.

Its slightly tiring, listening to Regulus and Sirius fight constantly. And they do, they really do. Because as much as Regulus dislikes Lily, she has nothing on the sheer malice and hatred that exists between the two brothers. They fight constant-fucking-ly.

Today is of course, no different.

"Is this what you're giving up your blood for?" Regulus was saying, as Lily entered.  "Muggle filth and - this, this - you would rather have this traitor rubbish in your life? The Potters can never give you what your own family can - "

"What?" Sirius snorted. "A migraine? Nightmares? Bruises? Self-esteem issues? No, what - what is it that my blood can give me, tell me, Reggie - "

"Don't exaggerate, Sirius, Mother loves you and you know that - "

"Really?!" Sirius asked, laughing darkly and incredulously. "Is that why she's telling all our acquaintances that I'm dead? Is that why she's been burning sage by my room to rid the house of my foul spirits?!

Sounds like Petunia, Lily thinks.

"She hasn't been doing anything of the sort, Sirius, you obviously know that," Regulus said, shaking his head. "You get your flair for dramatics from somewhere, don't you? She's just saying so you would understand - she misses you - "

"You mean she misses her heir because her spare is spineless - "

Lily saw Regulus's eyes flash.

____

Friday Night

" - never before have I ever seen such behavior! And that too, during a voluntary club. If you can't handle yourselves with decorum, Mr. and Mr. Black, then you both have to leave it. Immediately. Oh, just look at you two - and Miss Evans, I would seriously like to ask you, why wasn't this stopped if you WERE RIGHT THERE?!"

Lily sighed, as Frank nudged her. She didn't bother explaining that she had tried to stop them, except that getting between the Black brothers when they were this angry could only increase collateral damage.

Professor McGonagall, Flitwick and Slughorn finally told the four to go - and Frank left soon, waving a little apologetically at Lily. He hadn't even been present during their fight - duel, it should be called - considering how well the two fought. Their stances were complimentary, they had obviously learnt together - their spells rhythmic and quick.

"Hospital Wing, Black," she said, dryly - as Sirius tried in vain to undo the spell on his hair. They were pink - in an unfortunate mohawk kind of style - except that if you touched them, they sent off electric shocks. His front teeth were chipped, his robes smoking.

Regulus looked quite smug, even though his cheek was bleeding, and his tie was torn.

They walked in silence to the Hospital Wing.

"You're going to regret it, you know?" Sirius said, suddenly - in quite a gentle voice - for a threat like that.

"I think I've sufficiently proved that I can take you in a duel, Sirius - "

"Not that, you idiot," Sirius said, clenching his jaw. "You're going to regret the side you've chosen."

There was a tense silence.

"I could say the same to you," Regulus said, quietly - tersely, as Lily suddenly felt like she was intruding on a very private conversation.

"But you didn't, did you?" Sirius gave him a last bitter smile, and left Lily and Regulus at the door.

___

Chapter Text

Saturday Morning

The weekend starts off with a bang.

No, literally. Lily wakes up to screaming and loud thuds and a painful crack. She curses mentally when she sees the time and then sits upright, exchanging long suffering and sympathetic looks with Marlene and Alice, who are also sitting up on their beds, hair tied up in messy buns.

She wishes that she could just ignore the mayhem outside and go to sleep - but then again, she is a prefect. She doesn't know why people assume she's the one who doesn't allow any fun - when she's the one who lets everyone get away with everything. Aside from things which give fuel to moral dilemma, that is.

She huffs loudly when the yelling doesn't stop and goes outside to see which stupid second years she'll be giving detention to -

Oh. Obviously its not second years.

Regulus Black and Severus Snape are standing right in the middle of the red and gold common room - and isn't that a strange image? - yelling and throwing the randomly-abandoned-on-sofas-by-frustrated-students books at James Potter and Peter Pettigrew - who are clearly standing in their night pyjamas right at the edge of their room and looking bewildered as they duck the heavy paper missiles.

" - Snape, you've got the wrong idea - I did not do that, I swear to Mer - "

Regulus flicks his wand, shutting the dorm door firmly behind them, and James's eyes widen in panic.

" - oh, and I'm supposed to believe you?! I know you did it, it can't be anyone but you - and this time, Potter, you better watch your back - "

Peter fumbles with the lock irritably.

" - I'll watch my back, yeah, just - just stop throwing books - fucking hell, it hurts - Pete, WANDS! - "

" - I - yeah, Prongs, if I can just get inside the - calm down for a second, will you, Reggie - "

Lily tries shaking herself out of whatever shock she's in.

" - how dare you call me that - "

" - come on, baby Black, he's just teasing you - we didn't do anything to any of you, Snape, believe it or not, we don't want you seeing anything like that - "

Regulus bristles and picks up the vase on the next table, along with a whole pile of books. Lily's a little slow with her wand right now, but in her defence - she just woke up and also, its kind of confusing, what's happening -

" - DON'T. CALL. ME. THAT.  - "

Regulus punctuates every word with a book and the vase breaks on the wall next to James's head.

There's someone knocking and yelling from inside the boy's dormitory now.

" - fuck, Regulus - MR. BLACK, I mean - stop! - "

"Immobulus!" Lily shouts, finally - the crystal vase shattering has kind of woken her up. "Petrificus Totalus," she says, pointing her wand at the Slytherins. Regulus falls instantly, books dropping from his hand but Severus doesn't catch the brunt of it and so he looks at her with a betrayed kind of expression before turning to James.

"'Don’t want us seeing anything like that, huh?" Severus says, stalking forward to where James is standing, looking warily at the books in his hand. "Then, why are you still standing here without a shirt?!"

What? Lily looks confusedly at Severus as she sends a "Reparo" to the vase and starts arranging the books back on their places, keeping an eye on Regulus. "Get inside, all of you," she says, firmly as she sees the other year students poking their heads out and laughing. "Right Now!"

They scuttle inside, thankfully - and Lily sets the last book before going between Severus and James herself. Is that where she's always going to be?

"What - you can't blame me for wanting to sleep comfortably, Snivellus - its not our fault you dragged us out of the dormitory without telling us to wear appropriate clothing, for fuck's sake - "

A loud laugh echoes through the boy's dormitory and both James and Severus freeze - before exchanging a wierdly calculating glance. Severus sneers as he unlocks the door, and Sirius - who had apparently, been leaning against the door - falls out, shoulders shaking with mirth, face red and tears of laughter running down his face.

Nothing good ever comes out of Sirius Black being so amused without Potter being in on the joke.

"Sirius," James says, resignedly. "What did you do?"

He's still laughing so much, he can't speak - even as he opens his mouth, only to laugh louder - and why does his laugh sound like barking?"

"Black, you're going to undo this - this stupid spell of yours, right now unless you - "

"What?" Sirius says, finally, still grinning widely. "With your superior knowledge of the Dark Arts and all things magical, Snivellus, can't you undo it yourself? Its a simple one, after all - "

Severus keeps closing his eyes, for unnaturally long periods of time - and Lily should know, he's not the shutting eyes and seething type - which seems to delight Sirius even more.

James has started smiling bemusedly and is side-eyeing Sirius like anything.

Severus presses his wand to Sirius's throat, and Lily sighs. "If you don't undo it right fucking now, Black, I swear I'll - "

"Expelliarmus," Lily intones, plucking Severus's wand out of the air as it comes flying. "Can we all just - Sirius, shut up - take this somewhere else? Preferably not in the dormitory, and preferably without wands?"

"I will not move until your little homicidal gryffindor dog undoes the curse he's - "

James and Peter snort, laughing along with Sirius now.

"Homicidal is hardly fair, don't you think?" Lily asks absently, as she glares at the fifth years peeking out, and unfreezes Regulus - who looks at her venomously. "Dog, maybe - "

"Shows how much you know him," Severus says, latching onto that with renewed enthusiasm. "Or don't you know that he's already tried to kill me once before - "

They've all stopped laughing now. "Shut up, Snape," James says, quietly - firmly, as Peter fidgets uneasily and Sirius glares at Severus. "That isn't anyone's business but ours."

There's a short pause, as Lily glances at Sirius. He's avoiding their eyes.

"Shows just how well you know him," Severus repeats mercilessly, smiling at Lily in an ugly way. "Even his own friends see him for what he is - ask Lupin what he thinks of his good mate Sirius after he's back from his regular bout of illness. Go on, then - or are you afraid to hear what's behind Black's appealing facade?"

"Always knew Snape found Black pretty," a voice behind her says, and Marlene nudges Lily playfully as Regulus stands up groggily behind them.

"'Appealing facade?' Was that a confession, Snape?" Marlene continues, smiling coldly at Snape. She's never liked him - always used to tell Lily to burn bridges - but after the whole Dorcas-Mary-Mulciber-Avery incident, she likes him even lesser. "If so, it was quite poorly timed."

Sirius cracks a small grin, as Marlene waggles her eyebrows at him, smiling. Lily's always wanted a friendship like theirs, she thinks, as Marlene hits James on the shoulder definitely-not-painfully, and offers Sirius a hand. He's still crouched on the ground.

"Besides," Marlene says, her eyes icy now. "Confessions like these are only effective when there's consent provided," she says, and there it is. Everything that ever happened between Lily and Severus, which isn’t anything, really - still lacked that, according to Marls. "Did you provide consent, Black?"

This is going downhill once more, Lily realises. Why is everybody so explosive all the time?

Lily takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose as she speaks, handing Regulus's wand back. "Look," she says, clenching her jaw. "Whatever stupid curse Black's put on you, there's obviously no visible effect - "

She holds a hand up and glares till their protests stop.

" - and so, please walk out of our common room," she continues. "And go for breakfast. Or wherever it is, that you need to go. I'll personally get the counter-curse - "

Sirius makes a derisive noise but doesn't speak.

" - and give it to you, before ten. Just please, quietly walk out - you've woken up the whole house, anyway, and its hogsmeade weekend, so let's not make another scene - "

Regulus blinks, pockets his wand and walks out, ducking through the portrait hole.

" - yes, thank you," she says. "You too, Seve - "

"Get the fuck out, Snape," Marlene says from her side.

He goes, but not without passing her another strange look.

As soon as he's out of the portrait, Sirius snorts and doubles over laughing again, "Padfoot, what did you - "

"That - was - officially - the best curse ever," he says, panting. "Its this little thing that makes you see - "

Before Lily can register what he's doing, he's reached for his wand in his pocket and pointed it towards Lily. "Nuda Videre-chorus," he says, flicking his wrist upwards.

Lily blinks as the yellow light hits her right in the face.

Its all kind of cloudy. She blinks again - and its clear - except for the tiny fact that now, she can also see - oh, bloody hell, she thinks, almost baring her teeth as she glares at Sirius -

He's a devious little bitch -

"I'm going to kill you," she promises, quietly, avoiding looking anywhere that has a plain surface or the floor or - just about any straight line or row in the room. "I'm going to kill you, slowly - painfully - "

"Do the spell on me too, Sirius," James exclaims, gaping at her.

She is so not ready for this.

"Guess who I made Regulus see?" Sirius asks her, delightfully. "He can hardly blame me though, his oedipal complex phase lasted too long anyway - and Blacks love incest, so - "

She casts a Tempus and realises that she has atleast an hour more for sleep left - and stalks back to the girl's dormitory. As soon as she enters, there is vast amounts of plain, clear floor -

She sighs, as she opens her eyes and looks at the hundred - thousand, miniature, naked - James's dancing along the tiled floor.

There are so many of them - just dancing, naked - stark naked - she can only imagine what Severus must have felt while watching this.

Knowing him, delirious and intense murderous intent, possibly.

She - on the other hand - she doesn't know if this is Black's idea of a gift or a curse.

___

A good two hours later, she's slept a little more, taken a shower, changed and avoided seeing dancing James's everywhere possible.

When they come out of the dormitory, Jerry's waiting for them with a shamelessly wide grin.

"Sirius told me you wanted the counter-curse?"

"It was your spell?" she asked, shaking her head as he took out his wand and pointed it at her. "Should have known. Its rather unique."

"Can't take credit for making it, really," he replies absently and flicks his wrist, wordlessly undoing the curse Sirius put. She can't see naked James's anymore. Is it wierd that they were almost growing on her? "A friend of mine created it. He's got a real knack for stuff like this. He's always playing around with prank jinxes."

Lily blinks, reorienting herself best as possible and nods. "Thanks. Do Severus and Regulus's too, would you?"

"Oh," Jerry blinks, surprised. "That's - alright. I'll - I'll do that. Its just that they seem - quite - er - "

" - hostile?" Lily suggests. "Of course, they would be. Slytherin-Gryffindor and all that. Besides, you're Potter's grandchildren. You're lucky if they don't hex you on sight."

"Yeah," Jerry looked at her with an unreadable expression. "Potter's grandchildren. Right. Its just - its really funny - once you get over the novelty. We, Tom and I, we grew up hearing all these stories about all of you - and now, you're here and you're our age or younger. You're not the people we know, but you also are, in a way. Its just - "

" - bizarre," she finishes. She honestly can't imagine it. "Natural, though. When we hear stories about people, we always sort of forget that they're also, you know, just people."

He smiles at her, squinting as he pocketed his wand. "True. See you later, Lily."

"Of course."

____

Saturday Afternoon

Lily, Dorcas and Marlene walk down to Hogsmeade with the Potter Twins once they've told the two Slytherins the counter-curse, with lots of sneering and snide remarks from Severus, indifference from Regulus like he's grown used to seeing his own mother dancing around naked - and bemused gaping from the Twins, who seem like they really want to blurt something out and are just resisting.

"You're not this rude to us in the future, you know," Tom says quickly, right as they're leaving, and Jerry frowns at him. "I mean, you taught our father practically everything he knows, so - "

Regulus snorts, and Severus's face contorts in disgust. Probably because he's been told that he's taught something of value to somebody with Potter blood -

"Shut up, Siri," Jerry hisses, glaring and pulling Tom along as Severus opens and closes his mouth like a fish.

Lily follows, dying to ask questions - but also knowing that it won't do any good.

They enter Hogsmeade laughing at something or the other - and Lily smiles as she sees the shops - something about Hogsmeade just makes her happy, automatically. Its cheery, in its own dully colored, traditional yet free - funny, little ways.

Its beautiful.

Lily goes to buy quills first - she really needs a few, and then takes a round to see the new books that must have arrived. They buy chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties and Bertie Bott's from Honeydukes as the twins talk about how their selection of candies is going to grow so much in the next fifty years. Jerry and Tom happily come along with her everywhere, and its just - so comfortable. Like she's known them her whole life. Though, that's hardly saying much because the only people who she has known her whole life aside from her parents are Petunia and Severus and she can't exactly say things are ideal in that department.

Everything is peaceful and calm - relaxing - even as they come across Sirius, alone - Remus isn't back yet, Peter must be with Mary, James - must be with Astrid, she thinks - standing a little way behind The Three Broomsticks, with a tall, dark haired woman with very familiar eyes and a very small girl with pink hair.

Andromeda, her brain supplies. Andromeda Black, the Slytherin Head Girl who helped her when she was a little firstie, even though she was muggleborn.

She's about to turn around, because she barely knows them, but before she has a chance to do that, the Twins exchange meaningful glances and almost run upto the two.

"Aunt Andy," Jerry greets in a sing-song voice, beaming as he looks at the pink-haired girl. "How do you do?"

Andromeda looks at him with incredulous confusion, until Sirius and Lily briefly explain the situation. Now they're all looking at the twins with confusion.

"Aunt Andy?" she echoes, starting to smile a little. "Well - that's - "

"Great-aunt, actually," Tom interrupts. "But you say it makes you feel old. You were right, though. You were quite fit when you were young."

Sirius starts laughing as Andromeda stares, probably wondering if she should take that as a compliment or be worried.

"Great-aunt," she repeats again, wondrously, her eyebrows pinched together, thoughtfully. "But that would mean - you can't be - "

"I assure you," Jerry says, with a smile that's far from reassuring. "We are. I'm James Potter. That's Sirius."

Tom smiles widely at her.

"And - that's - er - " Tom says, looking at the probably four year old girl, who's staring at them curiously. "That's - Nymphadora, then."

Andromeda nods, seeming to gain her composure as Nymphadora - god, that's a mouthful - holds out a hand proudly. "You can call me Tonks," she says, quite pompously, even with the slight kid-lisp she has. "Nymphadora is a long, horrid, awful - "

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda admonishes, brushing stands of pink hair from her face. "Your name is actually beautiful and - "

"Nobody teases you for your name," Tonks mutters quietly, with a scowl, rolling her eyes - as her hair slowly turns to a pale grey. Metamorphmagus, Lily thinks, with wonder. "That's 'cause you're too scary. They all make fun of my name, and my teacher can't even pronounce it properly."

"Your teacher is a - " Andromeda pauses, lips pursed in a grimace. "Well, rest assured, you'll soon find better teachers than those in your muggle playschool. Now, be polite."

"I'm always polite," she mutters, crossly, and Lily smiles at the petulance. "Aren't I?" she asks Lily, rather - demands - narrowing her eyes. Okay, so she can literally narrow her eyes. They're slits, now, like a snake's.

"You do seem like a nice girl," Lily says, and her hair turn a bright shade of violet as she looks smugly at her mother.

"She always does, at first," Andromeda says, with an indulging smile.

Jerry and Tom are smiling nostalgically at this little display, but Lily wonders why Jerry's mouth pulls down sadly when he glances at Tom from the corner of his eye.

____

Jerry and Tom seem to be trying their best, but things slip out a lot. Lily notices it quite a few times, but she doesn't comment - doesn't know if any of this is dangerous -

" - that's when we did our summer project," Lily is saying at some point, munching on a liquorice wand, as they stand near Honeydukes. "It was me, Marlene and Mary - we raised money for the Janus Thickey Trust and the - what's it called, again? - the Hogwarts Holding Fund."

"Oh," Jerry says, nodding. "We had that same project too." He nudges Tom, "We both raised money for Children of the War Charity and Lupin's Trust for - "

"Jerry," Tom snaps, and he stops.

Children of the War Charity. War. There's definitely going to be one, then. Out of which, children come out affected. And Lupin's Trust - ?

That doesn't sound too bad.

Jerry and Tom apparently have a huge family, both from their maternal and paternal sides. They talk about their grandmother and their cousins and uncles and aunts - who are mostly not actually relatives - but just very close family friends.

Tom has a snake familiar. She asks if he's maybe a parselmouth, as unlikely as that is, but he refuses, saying that he just somehow gets them.

"I have a cat," Lily says. "Well - not me, exactly, its more of a family cat. His name's Whiskey."

Jerry passes her an incredulous glance. "He's that colour," she adds, a tad defensively.

"We can't very well judge," Tom says, shrugging. "We have loads of pets with ridiculous names. We have two goldfish, who're called Waldy and Morty."

Well. Those names are certainly really bad, but there's nothing as such ridiculous about naming fish that -

"Named after Grindelwald and Voldemort," he continues casually, and Lily blanches, coughing on the cold butterbeer she had been drinking. "We go out of our way to disrespect Dark Lords. Its a family thing."

Before she can reply to that interesting piece of information, there's a shout behind them.

"Hey, Red!"

Lily turns around to see almost a whole load of Gryffindors - Peter and Mary holding hands, Dorcas and Marlene standing together on the side, James and Astrid, Alice and Frank and Sirius, who's hollered for her.

"We're all going to Rosmerta's," he says, grinning. "Wanna come?!"

Lily shrugs, pointedly avoiding looking at Astrid and James, "Sure, Black."

That was her first mistake.

The twins exchange a glance before following her, "When else are we going to get a chance to get drunk when we're negatively underage?"

"That too, with our grandparents?"

Sirius runs, whooping loudly and James and the twins join him as they laugh, going towards the little red-and-grey pub.

____

Mistake number two : Taking a glass filled with a bright pink drink that Sirius gives her, without checking for what he's spiked said drink with.

Mistake number three : Agreeing whole heartedly to play all manners of party slash drinking games with the other Gryffindors - again, without checking her first drink.

Mistake number four : Taking another one of Sirius's fucking drinks. And a blue one. And another. Possibly, a fifth, but that part is sort of blurry now.

____

Chapter Text

____

Saturday Evening

Lily's laughing - at Merlin knows what - but everything's kind of funny right now. They're all playing some sort of combination of Truth & Dare and Two truths, one lie and possibly another game - which Lily can't remember at the moment.

Astrid and the marauders - barring Remus, who isn't here - are all sitting on the floor, they've convinced them all to stay for longer outside school, because they solemnly swear to sneak them in safely and detention-free.

Mary, Dorcas and Marlene are on the sofa and Alice and Frank are "in separate loo's, doing loo-things" - Jerry is beaming and nodding, talking using not a few hand gestures with Tom, who's passing him pitying smiles, the kind you pass to babbling children - or psychopaths.

"My turn then," Sirius says, giggling like mad. "Two truths and a lie, right? Also, James, you don't speak because - because you know everything - about - everything," he nods, blinking at the drink in his hand before refocusing, " - Okay, so, I can play the piano really well, I can speak a total of seven languages and also, I'm allergic to strawberries."

James snorts into his glass.

"Oh, the language one - " Lily starts, because seven languages, honestly? That's a little too much - but Mary shushes her. "No, no, it can be the languages, he's a Black, they're fucking crazy - "

"And Black definitely knows how to play the piano," Marlene says, confidently, lifting her glass up and squinting at it. Her's has a lemony-yellow drink in it.

"Strawberries, then," Astrid says, barely looking away from James's hair - she's carding her fingers through that thick, stupid mess - as Lily takes another sip. "Would have come up by now if it was true, I guess. You're not allergic to strawberries, Sirius!"

"Wrong!" James yells abruptly, as Sirius starts giggling again.

"I am allergic to strawberries, Kale," he says, grinning. "Its the languages one that was a lie - "

"I knew nobody spoke seven languages, I mean, honestly - " Lily mutters, scowling.

" - I can speak nine!" he finishes, hiccuping and Lily gapes at him. Nine? What the -

"Red, you go," Sirius says, pointing at her with the lighter in his hand.

"Yeah," Lily hums, trying to think. "My favourite food is my mom's french stew, you know, like - uh - venison bourguignon? yeah - "

James makes a choking sort of noise.

" - I'm horrible at juggling and before Hogwarts, I used to seriously consider a career in artistic gymnastics."

"The first one," James says, without any hesitation. "You cannot possibly eat - veni - " he shudders, like its physically causing him pain to say that, " - deer meat! It's not possible. At all."

Sirius's shoulders are shaking as he laughs, snorting out blue spiked punch. "Bad luck, James," he says, and Lily wonders, disappointedly - on whether he has a thing against non-vegetarian food.

"You eat chicken, too," she accuses. "Don’t act all stuck-up-vegan and pure-animal-activist type now!"

"Chicken is - its, its - different," James sputters, indignantly just as Marlene exclaims loudly, "I don't know what jim - gymnat - gymin-ast-ic is, so I'm going to go with that!"

"Me too!" Sirius says, before looking at her with wide-eyed curiosity. "What are gym-astics?"

Lily sighs in a long suffering way along with Mary because - Purebloods, as Dorcas - who's half blood and gets it - looks at her bemusedly, as if to say, "Really, career in gymnastics?"

"Its this - this sport," Lily explains, moving to put down her drink. "Where they - where we, you know, jump and all. And swing from bars and like - stand upside down and do all these split-y things. With your legs. You know."

She's totally and utterly pissed, a voice in her head - that sounds like her old gym coach - reminds her.

"Wow," Sirius breathes out, wondrously. "Why?"

"Because - because," Lily struggles, her thoughts all mixing up. "Just because. Can you stand on your hands without magic?"

"I don't think so," Sirius says, solemnly. "I've neve - hic - never tried. I'll try it right now, wait - "

He stands up, only slightly swaying - Lily's almost proud - and then proceeds to do something like a reverse ashtanga backdrop, as all the other laugh - and Marlene splashes her drink on him. He shakes himself like a wet dog, his hair flying everywhere, and wetting everyone - before doing the crouching thing again. Even in her drunken, messy state, its painful to watch - and so, Lily gets up, and makes him stand next to her.

"Lo-o-ok," she says, pointing at herself and the ground, even as Marlene and probably, Tom yell at her to not try whatever muggle thing she's about to do, because she might break her neck. "You just stand straight, raise your arms up like that - and then push a little with your heels and transfer your weight to your toes, and then - "

It comes so easily, even though its been years since she did a handstand - the stance, the steps - and she swings down, her palms flat on the ground, and stills when she feels her legs straighten out above her, ducking her head in between her arms. Its surprisingly easy, she thinks - as she stares at James and Astrid - they're the only ones she can see - looking shocked, mouths open. Her hair are sort of sweeping the floor, but she honestly couldn't care less at the moment.

There's a pause, before Marlene and Sirius start cheering - soon joined by everyone whistling and shouting and clapping - and it feels kind of nice. She wonders if there's some sort of gymnastics competition for the drunk. She'd win that.

Then she realises that her hoodie is falling up a little, her belly button must be visible. Naturally, that needs immediate fixing. She blames what comes next entirely on the punch, as she shifts her weight on one hand - five years ago, this would have been a piece of cake - but right now, when she's reeking of alcohol - its difficult.

Near impossible, maybe.

She pushes down on the cloth with her left hand, and then, as soon as her balance had come - it goes, and her right arm trembles, before she falls down, in a crouch, chortling. Why is everything still so funny?

Sirius helps her up, even as they both wobble together and when she looks at everyone else, they're all smiling and laughing as well. Wait, she amends, except James.

He's staring at her intently enough to make her flush, adjusting his glasses before he gives her a small smile, eyes still wide open in surprise. Its a nice look on him, she decides.

"So, what's the answer, Evans?" Peter asks.

"To?"

"Two truths and a lie?" James says.

"Oh, that," she says, starting to laugh again. "I'm great at juggling."

James shakes his head, in a wierdly fond manner, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, what're you not great at?

She doesn't even try to bite back her smile.

____

Its sometime between the blue drink and the tangy orange one, sometime between Sirius kissing Rosmerta for a dare and Marlene and Dorcas snogging, also for a dare but it was a little more complicated than just that - that Lily finds herself sitting between Peter and James, as Sirius talks their ears off about god knows what. Astrid and James aren't holding hands anymore - they both seem a little gloomy.

" - è così carino sai e mi ama e questo è così buono perché è così difficile amarmi - and, et - il me manque tellement en ce moment et je veux lécher ses cicatrices? - "

"Pay attention to Sirius," Lily says, absently, because his hand gestures indicate that he really is trying hard.

"But I don't speak italian?" James protests, and oh, that's why Lily couldn't understand a thing. "Or russian? Or french?"

"That's no excuse," Lily says, flippantly - just as Sirius gasps dramatically.

"You don't even speak french?" he says, his words slurring. "You uncut - cult-ured ba - bar - barian!"

"You sound like - hic - Walburga," James says, laughing when Sirius looks at him with a betrayed expression.

"Bite your tongue," Sirius says, blinking morosely at his drink.

Lily suddenly wants to know where the twins are because she hasn't seen them in really long -

"Wait, not really!" Sirius shouts, and Lily turns back to them. "Don’t actually bite your tongue! I like your tongue!"

"You do?" Lily asks, giggling. "Tha's funny."

Sirius squints at her for a minute, before smiling and saying, "You're funny, Red. If all this doesn’t work out wi-with James, will you still come hang out with me?"

Lily doesn't fully understand that right now, but she knows its something Sirius should not have said. James does a comical double take, but Astrid doesn't realise it, as she puts her head in his lap.

"Of course, Sirius," she says, swallowing and suddenly feeling miserable.

___

Remus Lupin is tired.

Well, he's generally tired of a lot of things. But mostly, and at the moment - he's completely and utterly sick of the Hospital Wing.

Sirius had visited him in the morning and given him the Invisibility Cloak and the Map, in case Remus wanted to sneak out. Right now, sneaking out is less of a want and more of a if I don't get out right now, I might die here, sad, bored and alone.

He opens the Marauders' Map, checks where Filch, Madam Pomphrey and Mcgonagall are - and slips out of his night clothes, changing to casual weekend muggle wear - which for him, mean comfortable and also, very old denim jeans and a white jumper which Sirius calls the probably stolen from a muggle old-age home jumper.

He puts the invisibility cloak on, switches off the lights, sets his blanket to look like he's sleeping in it and walks out, footsteps soft and inaudible.

____

He walks to The Three Broomsticks, and even from ten yards away, he can hear Sirius and Marlene quite well.

He removes the cloak, smirking at the scene - nods at Rosmerta, who smiles back amusedly, raising an eyebrow in a mock-stern manner.

"Your Sirius is feeling very handsy today," she says, laughing - and Remus shrugs in a Am I casual yet? way, as if to convey that its not his concern what Sirius does with his raging hormones and wandering hands - and that he's certainly not his Sirius - even though that's an extremely pleasant thought -

Shut up, Lupin. That's - such an impossible dream that its not worth spending any time to even think on -

He's barely halfway to the sofa area, where Sirius and James are sitting - trying to sidestep the other people, who are all in various stages of the Teenage Mating Ritual - when a loud, excited voice interrupts him, "Teddy!"

He looks to the side, eyebrows raising as he looks at the two boys sitting on one of the tall coffee tables - he hasn't seen them before, blonde and dark haired, as the dark haired one runs towards Remus like he's about to hug him.

"Teddy," he says, smiling so widely Remus is almost worried for his facial muscles. "I was just thinking about you - "

"Shut up, Jerry," the other boy hisses, pulling him back with an apologetic smile. "That's not Teddy - its, its - " he isn't able to finish that as he looks at Remus sheepishly, "Sorry, he's just a little - "

" - sloshed?" Remus suggests and Jerry laughs, pointing at him, "That's exactly what Teddy would say."

"Yeah," the other boy agrees. "I'm Tom, this is Jerry. We're twins. We're - uh - sort of accidental transfers."

"From fifty two years in the fu-u - " Jerry says, starting to make wooshing noises as he moves his hands to explain all manners of aircrafts and planes using only gestures. " - ture!"

And oh. Sirius had told Remus something about this. Remus hadn't been fully convinced that it was just a prank, because how likely are time travelers from so far into the future - that too, apparently, James's grandsons.

Now that he's looking, he can tell that they have James's chin, and James's nose and nimble fingers and they share quirks like the hair-messing and the rocking-back-on-their-heels-uneasily. Its fascinating.

"Sorry, sorry," Tom says, again. "Its just that you look a lot like one of our friends - "

"Of course he does!" Jerry says, swaying and smiling. "Don’t you know who this is? Its not Teddy, silly, its actually hi - "

"I'm just going to take him back to the dorms!" Tom exclaims loudly, putting his hand on Jerry's mouth and dragging him to where they were sitting earlier. "We'll see you later, Remus!"

He definitely hadn't told them his name.

Remus blinks after them for a few seconds, Potters are odd creatures, he thinks.

___

" - are you fucking serious?" James asks, his words stumbled and slurred.

"Well, I don't know if I'd call it fucking Sirius when I'm wanki - " Sirius begins, in a reasonable kind of voice.

"Hello, you worthless drunks," a voice says from behind Lily - who spins around as fast as she can - which, given her sluggish movements, is not much.

"Rem!" James shouts

"Moo-ny," Sirius sings, his eyes squeezed shut. "Ma chérie - lumière de ma vie, ven aquí amor - "

"Cheers, Padfoot," Remus says, chuckling. "Lils. Astrid. Prongs, Mary, upside-down Peter, hello."

"I'm not upside down," Peter mumbles, from where he's hanging off the sofa. "You're upside down."

Remus grins amusedly as Sirius passes him a neon pink drink, taking a seat opposite to the couch, and shooting discreet sobering charms at them all.

Lily can't deny they need them to speak coherently at the moment.

____

"Go, James," Astrid says, sitting upright, right as Remus whispers a sobering charm in her direction.

"We're still playing that?" James asks, looking at each of them. They all stare back. Sirius raises his glass like he's toasting him and nods. "Oh. Okay. My first kiss was with a muggle girl who lives near me. I have an irrational fear of seagulls and - I have two tattoos."

"What - you don't have tattoos - " Astrid sputters. "I - you don't have tattoos. You don't. I would know. Right?"

James grins at her, eyes dancing mischievously.

You haven't seen every single inch of his skin, have you, you little bint? Lily thinks, rather spitefully. Though, really, how has he not bragged about his tattoos yet, if he has them -

Sirius is laughing like the all-knowing-about-James bastard he is.

"I think I know this," Remus begins, skeptically. "Your first kiss - your first kiss wasn't with that muggle girl, what's-her-name - "

" - Kaitlyn Green, from Godric's Hollow," Sirius says immediately, smiling in a way that suggests that James wasn't the only wizard the muggle girl kissed. Peter chokes back a laugh.

James sighs resignedly. "Too obvious?"

"No," Remus says, smiling tiredly. "I just know you too well."

"You have an irrational fear of seagulls?" Lily asks as the time as Astrid, who says, "Where are your tattoos? Also, who was your first kiss, then?"

"Yes," James says, raising an eyebrow at the sudden questions. "Seagulls are stupid and big and their wings are all - flappy - "

" - its because when we went to Brighton Beach during first year summer hols, a seagull attacked him and he got hurt right over his - " Sirius starts.

"We. don't. talk. about. Brighton," James hisses, glaring at him until he shuts up, still grinning.

"And yes, I do have two tattoos," James admits, continuing like normal and waggling his eyebrows. "Sirius has three. Pete has one."

"You do?!" Mary asks, startling up like she's heard a gunshot, before smiling slowly. "I love tattoos."

"We all got them together," Peter says modestly, though he looks quite pleased. "Except Remus, that is. He doesn't do all the - "

" - punk-rock-aesthetic shit," James finishes, which seems to be a generous interpretation of Remus's unimpressed expression at the moment. "Especially muggle ones that involve needles."

"Reckon I'm punk rock enough for the both of us, right?" Sirius asks, immediately before realising what he's said and flushing, right along with Remus.

They're kinda cute, Lily thinks.

"Right, so Remus," Sirius clears his throat, and avoiding everyone's eyes. "You have to give James a dare. 'Cause you found his lie, so."

"I might take truth," James mutters, half-heartedly.

"Sure, Prongs."

"I want you to drink a whole bottle of the special fae-pixie mead," Remus declares.

"I pick truth," James declares, panicked.

____

Since Remus used those sobering charms, atleast Lily thinks it was him - strange images have been crowding up in her mind, and some of them include her standing on her head - and even though she's not deliriously drunk anymore, she's still in the pleasantly euphoric phase of drinking and as such, in no state to interpret them.

After James drinks around half the bottle, and everybody agrees to let him off the hook and drink the other half of the bottle between themselves - "themselves" meaning Sirius - that they go back to the castle. Lily doesn't drink any of the pixie mead, because it's basically another word for use this bottle to absolutely fuck up your life in a night.

Going back to the castle, though, is certainly relative, because Sirius and James are both half naked - running in no particular direction as Remus chases - Sirius has a pair of antlers on his head, and he's stripping off pieces of clothing as he streaks across the road.

" - Merlin, Sirius, this was NOT WHAT I meant, stop removing your - no, no - keep those on, please - "

"LAY ON MAC-DUFFERS, AND DAMNED BE HIM!!!! - "

They've also been screaming their lungs out - in Sirius's case, a combination of Dramatic Russian Literature and Shakespeare, James is mostly spewing gibberish - meaning Filch must definitely be waiting for them. Or so Remus says irritably. He's probably right.

Everything that happens next happens too fast. They're all laughing like mad and James is staring at her as he smiles, his hazel eyes are shining bright even under the dim lights -

Its somewhere between registering that Remus has thrown an actual Invisibility Cloak over her and James, collected Sirius's discarded clothing and pulled him along, looking intently at a yellowish parchment, as he supports Sirius and Peter's dragged off Astrid and Mary through some obscure passageway - that Lily realises that she's now standing extremely close to James, in a very narrow tunnel passage - and he's staring at her with clear, unmistakable want. She removes the cloak off of them.

Mistake Number Five.

She doesn't think before she leans in a little more, leaving probably two inches between them.

James leans in more, and ducks his head downwards - and then, closes the gap.

She gasps, and thinks that this would probably fuel her guilt forever, but she doesn't immediately push him away, doesn’t stop him - even though he's obviously drunk and has no idea what he's doing - and then its all blurry, like the world's dissolving in the edges - their lips meeting, its firm and sure and its also so, so soft - she wonders if she's shivering because of the cold or is it just the tingling from the kiss - and its sweet and electric and lemony and it tastes like apples and fire and fruity alcohol - and its just so intoxicating - her hands are running through his hair, his hands are tracing her jaw -

She's going to die, she thinks to herself. But god, is it going to be worth it.

It feels so good. She's never felt like this while a kiss - she can barely remember why a voice in her head is telling her to stop. To break apart. Its amazing, the way James's eyelashes flutter on her forehead, the shadows under his cheekbones. Too good.

Too good to be true.

That's what jerks her back to reality.

He deepens the kiss, mouth parting and her eyes widen in realisation and shock and self-disgust, as she pulls away, pushing him away a lot harder than necessary.

"What - what?!" she breathes, suddenly incapable of speaking. "Why did you - "

He's breathing hard, almost panting as he looks at her - frightened, shaking his head as if in denial. Terrified.

"I - I - " he begins, swallowing and clutching his head and suddenly Lily realises how much mead he has had and that he probably has no idea why he did this or even what he did. Or with whom. And isn't that a sickening thought.

He won't remember this in the morning, she realises, swallowing the sudden bitter taste in her mouth.

She forces herself to breathe slower.

"I - we - we can't. We can't do - this," she says, quietly, meeting his eyes. He looks dazed. "We can't ever do - this, again."

"Wai - wait," he says, his throat bobbing as she moves her hands back to her side, and steps a little away. "Just - just give me a minute, please - I need to think - "

She wants that, she really does. She wants to wait, wants James to tell her that he felt something, too -

But Astrid.

But the Twins.

"I'm sorry, James," she whispers. "Go to bed. You'll feel differently in the morning."

She walks away, towards what she knows is the general direction of the Gryffindor Tower, and wonders whether not waiting for him was Mistake Number Six.

____

Chapter Text

____

Sunday Morning

When James Potter wakes up, all he can see for a second - is red. Soft, thick red and bright green eyes that shine like -

Emeralds.

Which must mean -

Lily.

Oh, fucking hell.

What did he do last night?

Its horrifyingly easy to come to the conclusion that he must have gotten too pissed and thrown himself all over her. He remembers wierd flashes of seagulls and her standing upside down? Maybe he was upside down -

And she pushed him away. At some point, she definitely pushed him away because he got too close -

- and oh Merlin. Where was Astrid? Why doesn't he have any memories of blonde hair or of pale grey-and-green eyes?

He doesn't, though. At all. All he can see when he blinks are green eyes - which he knows belong to Evans - and long, red hair -

He can recollect some parts of the night - they all were playing earlier - and the depressing fact that Lily likes deer meat - he can remember drinking pixie-mead and Remus grinning at him - and Sirius and his stupid neon spiked punch -

- and Lily.

Merlin, can he remember Lily. They kissed. They must have, because James feels like he can trace the shape of her lips and her jaw, which obviously means that she must have been too drunk to realise who he was or he must have pushed her - fuck.

What if he violated her space without her - ?

He can't even complete the thought, its so shaming, so completely terrifying, so against everything he stands for - also, his mum would kill him if it was even remotely true - did he push too hard? What did he do - he has to go to her and apologize. For whatever he did. He has to. If she remembers anything about last night, which she obviously must - she would hate him. And they had been making so much progress as friends, too. What if she thinks he's some kind of arrogant, manhandling jerk who -

He isn't that. Atleast, he doesn't want to be that. He hopes he isn't that. He jokes and jests and he used to ask her out all the time, too, but he would never try doing -

Merlin, he needs to apologize to her. Desperately. For whatever he did to her. She would have hexed him, if she wasn't drunk. She sort of hates him, or she did - last time he checked - and moreover - Astrid. Astrid's easily the best girlfriend James has ever had. She's funny, she's great at quidditch, she never acts like anything but perfect and she's extraordinarily pretty. She's - a nice person. She is. She's great.

Its unfair, though - that even though she's all that - she isn't Lily, and somehow, somehow, that just makes all the difference.

Lily's uptight about quite a lot of things, and fierce when she's angry, which is quite a lot of times because she has a short temper, he thinks - she's rude at the best of times and swottier than Moony - and her remarks are cutting, and - and -

He can still see only green eyes and red hair, he thinks with resignation.

He has to go and apologize. If she doesn't already remember everything and hate him before she hears his part that he didn't mean to do anything. He didn't.

It wouldn't do to ruin whatever little friendship he's managed to salvage with her - it just won't make a difference, if he starts to think about her like that again -

He won't. He'll be her friend. He'll be someone in her life, a close, reliable friend - and then he'll have to go and marry Astrid and have a son who'll marry someone and have the twins -

He barely realises the fact that he's thought "have to" instead of want to.

Its all sort of planned.

It lacks so much red and green, James thinks, before he forces himself to get off the bed, groaning and cursing.

____

Sunday Afternoon

Lily's just been kidnapped by the marauders.

Its funnier than it sounds, because Sirius keeps prodding his wand and whispering, "Code 23, James, copy that" and "Ahoy, mateys" probably because he has no idea what muggle quotes to use where.

Sirius had ambushed her after a horribly depressing morning where everything tasted like puke, Marlene's you have to show us more of your gym-astics, you unnatural creep" - and a completely expected yet still highly disappointing apology of "I didn't mean to do whatever I did last night, Lily, I swear, I was just drunk" by James, who seemed almost disgusted about what happened the night before, like she was someone so unkissable, so abhorrent - but no, she had not been drunk, and the guilt she held for not stopping James felt that the disgust was warranted. Atleast now she knew how impossible it was for him to actually like her. "I want to be friends with you, Evans," he had said, earnestly and Lily had resisted the urge to crawl into a hole and die. Is this how pathetic being friendzoned makes you feel?

"Target neutralized," Sirius says solemnly, as they reach the seventh floor corridor. "Evans has been taken in without any issues, over."

Lily laughs dryly.

No issues?

"Unless you have any issues meeting your boy-love?" Sirius asks, still with that infuriatingly knowing smile.

She doesn't blush. She doesn't. Its the heat. And the dim lights.

"He's not my - my - boy love!" she says, scowling. "We're not - he's not - "

"Your face is completely red," Sirius says, matter of factly.

"Oh, you can see color?" Lily replies, because if her skin will not cooperate, her words will have to do. "That's interesting, considering I thought that dogs were colorblind."

"You'll realise how hilariously funny that is after we all have a nice little chat," he says promptly, chuckling.

Sirius starts pacing up and down the corridor and as Lily watches, the wall seems to expand and shift, the pale color turning to a darker mahogany - a wide, tall door appearing.

"After you, Ginge," Sirius says, grinning and tipping an invisible bowling hat.

The room is huge, white and golden, furnished with a pallette of pale shades of red and blue - with fluffy couches and throw pillows and setis and coffee tables with books and biscuit trays - a room that says here, sit and talk and eat, go on.

Remus is sitting on the rug on the floor, not looking very comfortable, Peter's sitting on the armrest of the big white couch and James is shoving a biscuit in his mouth, a hand wiping the crumbs as he glances up and smiles widely.

"You came!" he says cheerfully, almost bouncing up and down. Is he always this happy to see his friends?

"Like I had a choice," Lily mutters, sitting down anyway. "So - what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

James looks at Remus expectantly and Remus takes a deep breath.

"Lily, I - " he begins, and Lily wonders if he's sweating, he certainly looks nervous enough. "Lily, I am - I'm - "

" - gay," Lily finishes, smiling kindly.

"No!" Remus yelps, flushing as James and Peter dissolve into laughter. "No! - well, I mean, yes - but that's not what I wanted - "

"You're what?!" Sirius asks, heatedly.

" - to tell you," Remus says, ignoring Sirius valiantly and Lily understands all of a sudden. Oh. He thinks she has no idea. Well, she was friends with Severus Snape for quite long. She does have five theories ready and standing, and also knows logically - which one fits the best, knows which one is actually correct. Its just that - she's never felt a need to think much about it - and its also, its none of her business. Its not like her knowing or not knowing would change anything. "I am a - "

" - werewolf," Lily completes again, nodding sagely.

Remus sags, looking relieved and shocked and pleased all at once - jaw dropping at her words as the other three start laughing, James getting up to thump Remus's back, with a resounding, "Told you, mate!"

"So - that's it, then," Remus says, sheepish now. "I just - how did you know?"

Lily looks at him, eyes narrowed as she wonders if he's serious. Surely not. It is quite obvious when one thinks about it. She and Remus have prefect rounds together almost everyday, except full moons. Also, Snape was a tiny bit manic about this whole mystery. She tells him all this, and, "Obviously I don't mind, Remus, are you crazy? You fill my share of detention slips and lie flawlessly to Mcgonagall about it. I wouldn't care if you were secretly a dementor."

They're all laughing and beaming at each other, and Lily has to wonder - why does James look at her like that if he really thinks kissing her would be so bad? - she tries focusing her gaze on Sirius. "I don't understand, though. How is Remus being a werewolf a relevant explanation for why you all were scratched up that night?"

Peter hands her the biggest pack of chocolate biscuits.

____

" - and that night, we got a little careless and I wandered off with Pete, to freeze the Willow. It was almost morning, you see," James finishes, like everything about that story hadn't been careless and foolish and relying on sheer dumb luck. "Moony threw Padfoot against a tree, like a couple of times, which again - was a lesson, that I shouldn't leave with Wormtail anytime in the middle. Sirius and I need to be there together to calm him down."

"Show me," Lily says, chewing thoughtfully on her lip. "Show me - your animagi forms."

Sirius waggles his eyebrows before it disappears in a flash of black - and in his place, there's now a huge, black dog - the grim, Lily thinks, blinking - and he jumps up, licking Lily all over the face as she tries to stop him and not to laugh, his mouth wide open so it looks like he's grinning. He settles his head down on Lily's lap, and Lily can't help but scratch behind his ears - this is utterly mad, she thinks, I am scratching Sirius Black behind his ears. Also, this is all illegal.

So, so illegal. But its also irritatingly endearing, so absolutely sweet, she realises as she sees Remus looking at Sirius with his patented fondly-exasperated-expression.

"He takes up so much space," Peter says, disapprovingly, before he jumps from the armrest, converting midway and landing on Sirius's belly easily. He's a rat. It kind of suits him, Lily supposes, he's clever in his own timid, quiet way - a little invisible in the James&Sirius show, but an important part of their ragtag group anyway. The rat's fur is grey and soft and fluffy, his tail long - Wormtail, she realises -  watching Sirius yelp as Peter bares his sharp teeth threateningly at him. Its kind of cute to see a dog panicked because a rat might bite it. Sirius shifts a little to accommodate the rat on the couch.

"I'm sure I take more," James says, and Lily looks up, just realising that he was there in the room too. "Move a little, Re," he says, stretching his neck to take out the cricks and getting up on his feet. "Merlin, I hate transforming indoors," he flashes her a grin, "There's no grass-y smell. No leaves. Feels wierd."

He shakes his head, like he's shaking back a mane, or rearing his head and his gaze sharpens as he looks at them. Lily watches with undivided attention as he twists his upper torso and changes - the black hair disappearing, limbs transforming - it all happens in probably a fraction of a second - and James isn't there anymore, in its place is a stag - its huge and reddish brown, its fur sleek and glossy, its antlers sturdy -

She's on her feet before she knows it.

He's beautiful.

She extends a hand as if to pet it, and the stag nuzzles it gently, taking care to tip its head back as she approaches so he doesn't hit her with the antlers. He won't, anyway. If James was tall normally, he's got nothing on the height of his animagus form. She's sure she's gaping in awe as she looks at it, the square glass-markings around his eyes, which are big and soft, the white patch of fur on his front. She absurdly feels like hugging it. His coat is even more shiny up close, she thinks, as she pets the stag, smiling - the hair on the head look permanently ruffled, which is probably just another one  of James's characteristics incorporated into his animagi form.

Remus clears his throat loudly, and Lily blinks, suddenly wondering how long has it been since she's been standing there like an idiot. Sirius, who had been uncharacteristically silent, makes a snuffling-snorting sound.

Lily could have sworn James winked at her before he turned, if stags can blink, that is. He's still looking pleased as he turns back. He probably just likes showing off his form. How annoying.

And not at all amusing, she tells herself firmly.

____

" - you took the whole werewolf thing much better than Peter, atleast," James says, laughing. "Remember that, Sirius?"

After they had shown Lily their animagi forms, they had all settled down on the couches and the rug, in Sirius's case - and had asked the room for food - which Lily now knew, was called the Room of Requirement, because it provided for everything.

Convenient, that.

It didn't disappoint this time either, Lily thinks as she sips on the can of Coca-Cola that the room conjured up for her. Sirius and James had looked at it curiously, before asking for cans themselves. Sirius had absolutely loved it, which was expected, as James sputtered on the chilled, fizzy taste. Lily didn't want to admit it, but she literally hadn't ever had this much fun just chatting. The marauders seemed to have stories for everything, each funnier than the last - each more ridiculously stupid. It was just so homely, she thought as James went on about his So, this is why you can't eat deer meat! protest and Remus finished telling them about the time he charmed James's peas so they'd roll away every time he tried to grab them with the fork.

"Yeah," Sirius replies, as Peter scowls petulantly. "So - Lily - " he begins, with a wicked smile, " - we were in second year, by the way, first term. We didn't exactly know about Remus's furry little problem - "

Lily refuses to smile at that creative phrase.

" - but we knew something was wrong with all his my-mother's-aunt's-friend-died excuses."

Remus grimaced, wincing.

"We had books open in front of us, for all kinds of illnesses and almost-monthly issues that anyone can possibly have - when suddenly, it just struck me. The scars, the dates, his name, for Merlin's sake. I looked outside the window, and it was a full moon night. I checked up all the dates I had written for Remus's visits home and sure enough, they all matched with full moon dates on the Astronomy Charts."

Remus looked away, as if pained by this. He probably was. It sounded painful.

"So, I said - in a clear we've solved it now, boys voice, I said, 'Remus said that he was visiting his sick mum. He's not here now 'cause his mom's sick again. Its a full moon night, tonight - and so it was, on all the other times he went back home. I think we all know what that means."

James snorted, covering his mouth with a fist.

"And Peter just fell out of his chair," Sirius continued, dramatically, starting to laugh. "And went like, 'Remus's mum is a werewolf!'"

Lily gaped at Peter for a second as he colored - before starting to laugh incredulously -

"Whose mum's a werewolf?" an amused voice rang out, from the direction of the door and she jumped, startled - as they all jerked upwards, Remus looking a little panicked as he craned his neck towards the door.

It's the twins. Of course it is, Lily thinks. Just when things lifted a little between James and her, they brought her back to reality.

"I - you - " James says, stumbling to get up from amidst the throw pillows.

"We were bored," Jerry says, still sounding amused. "So we thought we would look for you."

"How did you even find us?" Sirius demands. "We didn't tell anyone where we were going."

Tom slips his hand into his pocket, producing a yellowish parchment of sorts, an item that seemed kind of familiar to Lily, but she couldn't remember where she'd seen it before - and throws it towards Sirius, who catches it, looking resigned. "You shouldn't keep the Map on your desk, of all places. Your names weren't visible on it, anyway, so unless you were outside school - we figured you'd be here."

What Map?

"Of course you know how to work it," James mutters.

"Of course," Tom nods agreeably, before flopping down on the rug. "So, who's mum is a werewolf?"

Lily sees Remus tense visibly. Jerry must have seen it too, because he frowns quizzically in his direction. Sirius is kind of struggling with a reply right now.

"It was a joke," he says, finally, sounding like he didn't even believe himself. "Like you know, a hag, a vampire and the - uh - werewolf's mum go to the pub together?"

Tom sighs, before pulling down Jerry who's still standing and staring at Remus. "You know," Tom begins, conversationally. "We know more about all your lives than you do - "

Sirius makes a noise of annoyance.

" - so if that was some lame attempt at trying to hide Remus's lycanthropy," he continues and Remus sighs, starting to laugh dryly. " - it was useless. We're Potters. We obviously know about him. And we're obviously, completely fine with it."

"We're also, by the way, illegal animagi," Jerry says, completely casually. "Well - our parents know about it, our dad taught us - but there's hardly any use of being an animagi if everybody knows about your form. So, we're unregistered. We could help you on full moons. If you need it, that is."

They've all just been reduced to staring at the two in shock.

"I'm a snake," Tom continues. "Bigger than my patronus, though. A lot bigger. And Jerry's - "

Jerry stands up, rolling his shoulders and neck, before jumping forward - and changing midway - his body growing lean and lithe - and lands on the floor. His fur is a pale greyish white, the strands thick, shiny and reflecting the sunlight, he's -

" - a wolf," Tom finishes, smiling with satisfaction.

"Oh, he's not just a wolf," Sirius whispers, wondrously, creeping closer to it and ruffling the fur under its chin. "He's - he looks like a werewolf."

"He's - Moony," James says, gaping at the animal. "That's - exactly what Moony looks like."

"Do I?" Remus asks, probably because he's never seen himself and imagines something that looks a lot more bloodthirsty and monstrous. "But he looks so - "

Jerry transforms back, a small smile on his face. "Cool, isn't it?" he says, like they all haven't clearly been admiring his form.

"Very," Tom says, sarcastically. "We'll be there, next full moon. In the Shack, I mean."

Remus seems to have been rendered speechless. Sirius nods dazedly, "Yeah. You do that. Why do you look like - "

"But, this is really illegal. And dangerous. Surely, your parents have a problem with you going to Azkaban if you're found?" James asks, sounding too much like Lily's mother for a second. "Illegal Animagi can be sentenced to a year of - "

"Yeah, yeah, we know," Tom says, smiling bemusedly. "We told you why we haven't registered yet. And well - its just that - our parents, and - our family, as a whole, they kind of - run the entirety of the Ministry, you see."

Lily doesn't see, no. James doesn't look like he sees, either. Jerry smacks Tom in the back of the head, which he ignores.

"Our dad's famous. Like, really, really famous. Probably the most famous wizard in the world. And he works with the Unspeakables," he continues, matter of factly. "Our closest aunt's the Minister of Magic, her husband's Head Auror. Our father owns practically half the Wizengamot seats and the Hogwarts Governor's Board and like the largest inheritance account - "

"Point is," Jerry interrupts, hastily. "Nobody can really send us to Azkaban. Its - not a problem. You see."

Lily does see, now.

"Woah," Sirius says, looking at them with furrowed brows before he exchanges a surprised look with James. Remus just looks overwhelmed. "You must have done something right in raising your kid, Prongs."

Jerry and Tom exchange a quick, unreadable look that probably nobody catches but Lily.

____

Chapter Text

____

Its surprising, that even after almost an hour - the conversation doesn't stilt. They're all still laughing and joking and Lily really likes all these people. They're funny, and good hearted. It feels like real friendship.

"I have it on good authority that I’m very handsome, actually," James insists, as Tom laughs and throws a marshmallow at him.

"Your mum just said that to make you feel better about yourself," Sirius tells James, catching the marshmallows and eating them.

"I’ve got great hair!" James protests.

Remus grimaces, looking quite pitying.

"James, you know, the first time I saw you, I thought you looked like a grasshopper," Lily says, quite honestly, and Sirius chokes on his Coke. "Stick-like limbs and all. Even your eyes are all squinty behind your ancient, ugly glasses - "

"Excuse you?" James cuts in, indignantly. "They're not ugly or ancient, they're vintage - "

"By which he means they're old as fuck," Peter mutters under his breath.

" - and your hair stick up like the top of a fucking pineapple," she continues, matter of factly and the others practically roar with laughter. "Frankly, your only redeeming quality is that you're fit. Now."

James had started looking offended when she said pineapple, but now he just looks shocked.

"You think I’m fit?" he asks, because obviously, he lives to annoy Lily.

"You know you are," she dismisses.

"I know that, but I'm - just - surprised that you noticed," he says, and Lily wonders if he's taking the mickey. He knows she kissed him the previous night. He ought to know she fucking noticed.

"Well, I’m not blind," she replies angrily, wondering why she's complimenting him with so much aggression. The others are watching them like a very interesting tennis match, following their words like balls in a court. "Not like you," she adds. "With your dumb glasses - "

"They're vintage!"

"Mmm," Lily says, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

"Do you not agree?!" he asks dramatically, his hand on his chest in mockingly exaggerated hurt, like he doesn't know the answer. "Are you disputing me?"

"I said 'Mmm' - I'm not sure how you interpret that as a dispute," she says, starting to laugh. He really does look ridiculous like this, eyes wide, his hair achieving some impressive aerodynamic feats, a marshmallow stuck in the left fringes. He looks like a squirrel. Who's puts its fingers into an electric socket. She makes a note to tell him that later.

He grabs the marshmallow in his hair suddenly, like he knew it was there - and chucks it at her. It hits her right on the nose and bounces off. She blinks and stares disbelievingly at him as he grins, before she picks up her Coca-Cola can like a woman on a mission.

Its complete mayhem after that.

____

Sunday Evening

They're all sitting in the common room, around the fire - papers in hand. Lily's parchment reads -  I must only use food for consumption purposes, over and over, like all of theirs, except Remus's, who's parchment says - I must not encourage the unsavory behavior of my peers. The Room of Requirement had sort of kicked them out once the fight progressed, the door somehow opening straight into Mcgonagall's office. Traitor room, Lily had thought.

"Can’t believe she’d give us so much work just for looking a little messy," Sirius says, in a lamenting voice. "Thought I knew dear Minnie better than that."

"You actually call her that?" Jerry sounds awed.

"Only in private," Sirius says, without a pause, smiling suggestively.

"I am so proud to be named after you," Tom says, shaking his head.

"I'm still left with so many," Peter says, scowling. "And I haven't done the essays from last week. I thought I would get some done tonight. I'm going to fail everything this term."

"Surely not everything?" Lily asks, with a concerned frown.

"Peter is an overachiever," Sirius says, proudly thumping Peter on the back, who glares at him viciously. Lily's kind of confused. She's always found Peter to be quite smart. Just because he hangs out with people who're extraordinarily intelligent, doesn't make him stupid. Just relatively... slow-er than them.

"James?" someone says from behind her, and Lily turns to see Astrid Kale standing near the portrait. "What're you doing?"

"I - uh - lines," James says, smiling sheepishly as she makes her way to where they're sitting. "On charmed parchment, so it can't be faked. It won't take me long, don't worry," he adds, quickly.

"Ah, food fight," she says, looking at the lines he's writing and laughing in her usual, irritatingly charming manner. Why can't she ever act jealous and clingy? Or bitchy? Why does she always have to be so understanding and relaxed and not-needy and - and everything perfect? "Wanna go for quidditch after you're done?"

"Sure," he agrees, nodding as Jerry's and Tom's eyes light up. "Can we go too?!" they both blurt out together, looking extremely hopeful.

Lily digs her nails into her palms, glancing at their excited faces.

"Of course," Astrid says, bemusedly. "Why not?"

"Wow," Jerry breathes and starts his lines with renewed enthusiasm. "We'll only be a minute." Tom nods quickly on his side.

Lily swallows the lump in her throat as she looks firmly down on her lines. She can feel Remus and Sirius watching her. It's more embarrassing than she wants to admit.

"Done!" Tom yells and runs up the stairs to the dormitory, taking them two at a time. "I'll get both your brooms too!"

James glances at him, amused. Fond.

Something clenches painfully in Lily's chest, and she feels it, she's never going to be anything more than friends with James, nothing more than a funny childhood story - nothing more than a passing crush - she glances up at Jerry, who's finishing off his lines, clenching her jaw -

Jerry seems to flicker, but Lily brushes that aside as just a light trick -

Its hopeless, Lily thinks, looking at James again. She's never going to hope for it again, she's going to forget about anything she feels for James. She's going - to move on. Let go. She needs to.

Hopeless.

Jerry flickers again - like a shadow - like a reflection, an image in the water, eyes widening in horror and - disappears.

Jerry's not there anymore, a filled parchment left behind on his chair.

_____

Lily blinks, shaking her head and standing up as she looks around - there had been no sound, no pop, no crack - no sign of what happened -

"What the fuck?!" James shouts, shooting up on his feet - Sirius and Remus looking bewildered. "What just - where did he go - "

"Tom?!" Lily yells, turning to the dorm side, her heart in her mouth as she wonders whether he's disappeared too, did they return to the future, maybe? Was that how it happened earlier too, sudden and seemingly without reason -

"Tom?! Are you still - Tom, where are you?!"

She opens the door of the boy's dormitory with a flick of her wand, and Sirius and James run up, Peter and Astrid looking anxiously at them all. Tom is standing right at the door, blinking, looking shocked, horrified - staring down at his - wrist? - as he pushes his blonde hair away from his eyes -

"Tom," Lily says, slightly relieved. "Jerry just - he just disappeared - "

"You - I just," Tom whispers, still not looking up from his arm. "I just - what about Jerry - "

"Do you think he returned to the future?" James asks hesitantly, exactly what Lily's been thinking. "Because he just sort of disappeared - "

"Disappeared," Tom echoes, flatly. "Returned to the future?! There isn't any - " he sucks in a deep, shaky breath, his shoulders trembling as he glances down at his arm once more, but in the lighting Lily can't see what he's seeing. "This is all our fault - we didn't mean to - we shouldn't have ever talked to any of you - "

"Tom, calm down," Sirius says, surprisingly gently. "Tell us what's happened. What did - "

"Lily, what - what did you - " Tom spins around to face James and her. "What did you both do?!" he snarls, his face pale and contorted in anger. Sirius recoils slightly.

"She didn't do anything to him," James snaps back, angrily. "We haven't done anything - "

"That's probably the whole fucking problem," he mutters, not making any sense to Lily - starting to pace as he glares down at his wrist. "It just started burning randomly - Jerry - ?"

"Vanished," Remus says, slowly like he's realising something horrific. "He just sort of blinked out, like he had been - " he pauses, lips parting as he looks at Tom.

"Blinked out of existence," Tom whispers, hollow. "Vanished. He vanished from - and I'm - I'm now a - but that means my dad - "

He walks towards the fire, his face illuminated in the light - and holds up his wrist. "Jerry doesn't exist anymore. Because neither does my dad," he says, evenly, his expression blank and pushes his forearm towards them.

On his wrist, writhing and curling over pale skin is a bold, black skeleton - and a long snake curling in and out of its gaping jaw.

The Dark Mark.

She looks at Tom, and notices how his eyes aren't green anymore.

They're grey - a simple, pale shade - of grey.

"I don't get it," Lily whispers. "How did - what changed?"

Tom looks back at her with cold, hard eyes, and doesn't speak a word.

____

It strikes him immediately.

How could it not?

Sirius exchanges a glance with Remus, and knows that that's what he's thinking about too. They had both seen Lily, right before Jerry disappeared - they had both seen Astrid and James and the twins and most of all, Lily.

And now that he thinks about it, Sirius isn't sure why they ever assumed it to be James and Astrid - James and Astrid's kid, James and Astrid's grandkids - because Sirius knows James, he knows what James is like and what James has always wanted. What James will always want. And Sirius knows one thing with complete surety. James Potter always gets what he wants.

Or he dies trying.

He's always been like that - loud and brash and assertive - impulsive and reckless and brave - someone whose presence can't possibly be ignored, someone who always knows what he wants, someone who always, always believes that he can get what he wants. Someone who always puts in better than his best.

( - "He's a bit like a cyclone, isn’t he?" eleven year old Remus Lupin asked Sirius timidly, as he saw James whooping loudly for himself and running from the Sorting Hat to the Gryffindor table, laughing as Professor Mcgonagall yelled at him. "So - "

" - chaotic," Sirius finished for him, smiling in understanding. "Like a hurricane."

"Very, very chuffed to see you here, Mr. Black," James said, as he flopped down next to Sirius, like they were the best of friends already, shamelessly clanging everything around them. "Or should I say, Mr. Going-To-Be-Dead-Soon?"

Sirius passed him a confused smile.

"I've met Walburga Black once, you see," James said, before continuing in a stage-whisper. "I think my boggart takes her form."

Sirius couldn't help but laugh, because maybe with James Potter in it, Gryffindor could be home. - )

In fact, the last couple of days - of sheer denial - they haven't been very James-like. Its more Remus-like, Sirius thinks, a tad bitterly - its much more mature than Sirius would ever have predicted of James where Lily's concerned.

Sirius thinks back to the last few weeks and realises that James hasn't once talked wondrously about Astrid. Hasn't once talked about her eyes or her hair or about how beautiful she is. He's been happy, but then again, James is usually happy.

When James talks about Astrid, he talks about quidditch. Or about how funny she is. How nice she is. Not a single fight, not a single problem. Nothing to work out, nothing to think about. She's pretty. She's cute.

When James talks about Lily, he positively glows. Lily is beautiful. Lily is gorgeous.

It may have been James and Astrid, but its still always been James&Lily.

Lily&James. Lily-and-James, James-and-Lily.

Two phases of one huge, disastrous train wreck - two sides of a melting galleon, two last trees on a burning land, two edges of the silver lining on a thundercloud. Two halves of the same inevitable story - so completely, so fully and so truly meant for each other.

It strikes immediately, but he doesn't know whether he should say it or not. Doesn't know how to say it.

"Tom," Sirius begins, trepidation laced in his voice as Remus shoots him a sharp glance. "We've - we've already changed quite a lot, apparently. With - the future. So, be honest, now. How'd you know Astrid?"

Sirius can't believe James and Lily haven't caught up yet. Astrid passes him a sharp glance, before turning a little blank-faced, like the white blank of realisation. Remus is staring at Sirius.

"What?" Tom asks, as he scratches at his Dark Mark angrily. Like it might be fake, and would come off if he tries. "What - no - I - we should go to Dumbledore. Obliviate the lot of you. It'll just reverse again, right?" he didn't look convinced, just helpless.

"What if it doesn't?" Sirius asks, slowly. "What if - we just forget and nothing changes? You'll go back to your time as - as a - ?"

He can't bring himself to say Death Eater. He doesn't have to.

"I don't understand," James says, his voice very small. "Why would anything we change, result in you having the Dark Mark?"

Tom laughs bitterly, hopelessly. "We told you our dad's famous. He isn't famous for - for inventing something, or for being a magical expert or something. He's famous because he's the one who killed Voldemort."

Astrid makes a sound like a cat dying. Sirius almost gasps. James sits down on one of the stairs. What the fuck. Why were these kids even allowed to roam about freely in another century - when they can change so much by just being there?

"If my dad isn't born," Tom says, his voice shaky. "My world - your future - its. Doomed," he gave a short humorless, terrified laugh. "I've probably killed more people by just saying this."

"Look, there has to be a way to go about it rationally - " Remus begins, but is cut off by Tom.

"Rationally," Tom snarls, his fingers tapping on the door anxiously. "Rationally. Fucking rationally. I've probably just ruined everything good that ever happens after this point. Rationally. God, Teddy's just like you. If he exists, that is," he adds, rubbing at his face, mouth trembling, before he sighs. "I'm sorry - I just - "

Teddy?

"Nevermind that," Sirius says, taking a deep breath. "Its been - what - ten minutes? - yeah, ten minutes since Jerry disappeared. There has to be a way to change it, yet - Tom, its not too late - "

"Its not Tom, its Sirius," Tom says irritably, bristling up again. "Its Sirius Remus. Its not fucking Tom."

Sirius blinks at him, absolutely lost now.

Tom sighs again, and then rummages through his robe pocket, pulling out the Marauders Map, and holding it towards them. "You don't understand yet, do you? If my dad doesn't exist, then - why would I be named after you? - look here, in the boy's dorm, look at the names, I'm not even sure how I know myself, but I just do, my name isn't - "

Sirius takes the parchment from his hand, pressing his wand and whispering a soft, "I solemnly swear that I am upto no good." The Map opens, the criss-crossing lines spreading instantly as everyone scrambles to look at it, they're all craning their heads over Sirius's shoulder, peering at it.

Right outside the boy's dormitory, on the part labelled, Staircase, there are seven dots - Remus J. Lupin, James F. Potter, Sirius O. Black, Lily R. Evans, Astrid O. Kale, Peter M. Pettigrew, and right on the edge, at the top is -

Thomas D. Malfoy.

Oh. Oh.

"I'm still - I'm Sirius," Tom says, clenching his jaw. "I'm not - Thomas. I'm not Tom, short for Thomas. I'm Tom, because - Jerry."

"But - how - how're you suddenly a Malfoy?" Lily asks, her eyes narrowed at the Map. "You're still - "

"I'm not suddenly a Malfoy," Tom says, with a wry smile. "I've always been a Malfoy. We didn't use the name - because we looked too much like Potters to deny it, and adding Malfoy to the mix would have been - too much, maybe."

"Great aunt," Sirius whispers, suddenly understanding that bit of exchange. "Andromeda is actually your great aunt. That means - "

"Yes," Tom says, evenly. "Thomas D. Malfoy. Thomas Draco Malfoy. Grandson of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy."

Sirius feels so overwhelmed, he's slightly hysterical. James looks like he's about to pass out.

"You don't have a mother," Remus guesses.

"No," Tom agrees. "Magical pregnancy potions. When we said father, we meant Draco Malfoy. When we said - "

" - dad," James realises. "You meant - er - my son. I wondered about that sometimes."

Tom nods. "I'm not even a Gryffindor, for Merlin's sake."

There's a loud chorus of, "What?!"

"Can't say I'm surprised," Lily says, the only one not gaping at Tom. "Snake patronus," she adds, as explanation. "And you - well - you don't seem like - a gryffindor, really."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Tom says, dryly. "Jerry's a Gryffindor. And I - well, I'm obviously - a Slytherin. Through and through," he adds when James looks uncertain.

"I've already told you so much," Tom continues, sounding scared. "And its messed so much up. How do I know if - if telling you more is the way to go? What if - what if I disappear too? And along with it, ruin the whole Wizarding World's future? What will you do then?"

"You have a fucking Dark Mark on your arm," Peter says, and when Tom looks up, Sirius sees the fleeting look of a surprising amount of anger cross it, before Tom smooths it out. "I don't see how it could get any worse. You're from - almost fifty years in the future. What do you think will be worse for the Wizarding World than You-Know-Who ruling it? Even after so many years?"

"You're one to talk about it," Tom mutters, darkly and Sirius raises an eyebrow in confusion. Tom ignores it. "We should - we should go to Dumbledore."

Remus is nodding, but Sirius isn't so sure. What if Dumbledore obliviated them? It seemed like the course to go - what if he made them all forget everything? Sirius doesn't want to hear a whole lecture on "The future isn't set in stone, boys, its you who has to change it," right now - he wants Jerry back, anyhow, wants it to go back to -

Tom makes a hissing sound, suddenly, and runs back into the dorm.

______

Chapter Text

______

Lily can't think. She doesn't know about Dumbledore - she's about to tell Tom that it doesn't seem such a great idea but -

Suddenly, like he's remembered something, Tom turns, runs inside and goes to his bedside, pulling open his desk and rummaging through. He pulls out a sheet of paper, it looks like a newspaper - and looks at it, squinting, breathing loudly - panicked. "Fuck - fuck - fuck," he mutters, as he walks back outside.

He hands Lily the newspaper with shaky, damp fingers. Sirius and James get up to look, Remus reading above her shoulder.

Its a copy of the front page of the Daily Prophet. Except, its not. The headlines on page one are - strange, the pictures are -

19 September 2009, it reads.

Celebrating the twenty five year anniversary of the start of the ingenious and highly successful Muggleborn Registration Commission, more commonly known as the Muggleborn Registry - that started off by undertaking surveys of the previously called "Muggle-borns," to better understand how they had earlier possessed magical secrets.

Lily glances at Sirius, who looks utterly disgusted.

Earlier research undertaken by the Department of Mysteries reveals that magic can only be passed from person to person when Wizards reproduce. Where no proven Wizarding ancestry exists, therefore, the so-called Muggle-born is likely to have obtained magical power by theft or force. "This problem, being a priority of the Ministry - has been uprooted, the best it could have been," Dolores Umbridge, Minister for Magic, assures the public. "The Registry being the first political measure taken to cleanse the society of those lesser than real wizards and witches, has been expanded through several decrees and measures. For Voldemort and Valour!" she adds. Read more about the same on page 3. A History of Muggle Segregation and its Benefits to the Wizarding World.

Lily can't think anymore, she's just reading, and reading, barely understanding - it seems like a cruel joke, a cruel joke on just what would happen to the world because of them - the headlines and familiar, yet so unfamiliar - all the names just flitting past - James's face is pale, bloodless - they all look horrified -

The Nation Wide Search still continues for the Known Fugitives with full vigour - as Bartemius Crouch, Third-in-command of the esteemed Knights and Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement reassures. Anyone having knowledge of the whereabouts of any of the 20 Undesirables, majorly comprised by those who are known to call themselves the "Order of the Phoenix," to come forward to a Ministry Official immediately. The new list is given on page 4, edited after the capture of six more Undesirables this very week.

Lily hears Sirius suck in air as he reads the bold-lettered announcement on the other side -

Undesirable Number 1, Regulus A. Black, formerly the Head of a Noble House and Undesirable Number 6, Severus Snape, were spotted on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow on Sunday Evening. Both formally declared Traitors to the Knights of Walpurgis, previously known as the "Death Eaters" - Lord Voldemort has himself set the reward of 25,000 galleons for the capture of Regulus Black, who is confirmed to be in possession of a highly valuable and personal item belonging to the Dark Lord, and thus, will be armed dangerously. Do take caution in case you need to approach these criminals. No recent developments on the whereabouts of Undesirable Number 2 - Lily Evans, Undesirable Number 3 - Remus Lupin, Undesirable Number 4 - James Potter, Undesirable Number 5 - Sirius Black, Undesirable Number 7 -  Kingsley Shacklebolt, Undesirable Number 8 - Aberforth Dumbledore, Undesirable Number 9 - Frank Longbottom or Undesirable Number 10 - Arthur Weasley.

Sirius lets out a colorful stream of curses, as Lily feels positively nauseous, an idle, detached part of her absently wondering about what happened to Peter. She glances up to see James staring at her, and Tom sitting down, his breathing heavy. This must be so different from the world he knows - its so different from the world she's imagined. Its - horrifying. Terrifying. It seems - impossible. Unimaginably chilling.

"Dangerous criminals?" James says, incredulously, angrily. "Undesirable?"

First Public Execution in a decade! Former Auror and Traitor to the Law - Alastor Moody - has finally been captured, by First-In-Command to Lord Voldemort himself, Lady Bellatrix Lestrange, on Sunday Morning, during a failed raid conducted by several of the known fugitives, most of whom have now been caught. Alastor Moody, Benjy Fenwick, Hestia Jones, Dedalus Diggle, Edgar Bones and Gideon Prewett (previously thought to have died alongside his brother during the Final Battle) have been sentenced to death, and will be publicly executed in three days, on Battle Square, Hogwarts, the place previously infamous for the duel-to-death between the late Albus Dumbledore and emerging winner, Lord Voldemort in 1985. The fugitives were assisted by "Muggle-born" Dirk Creswell, who's now on the run from the Law. For more information regarding the previous public execution, conducted exactly ten years ago, read page 5, detailing the various crimes of Elphias Doge, Amelia Bones, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore and Caradoc Dearborn.

Merlin. Lily doesn't want to read anymore - doesn't want to know - but she can't stop. She can't stop reading - because this is how bad the world has the potential to be. This - this is how much worse everything could be. Would be. Peter looks like he's going to wet himself.

"Oh, god," Remus mutters, as he scans the rest of the front page. "Oh, fuck. All these - all these people, we know these people - "

Lady Bellatrix Lestrange, Professor of the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, and Head of Slytherin House has now formed a collaboration with the Headmaster of Durmstrang, Igor Karkaroff - to start a Duelling Club for a select few students. Assisting her is Draco Malfoy, Heir to House Malfoy, and Potions Master at Hogwarts, son of the esteemed Lucius Malfoy, Head of the Hogwarts Board of Governors and Second-In-Command of the Knights. It is rumoured that Lord Voldemort himself will be making a guest appearance to teach magic to the top students of this Duelling Club.

"Well," Tom says, his voice terse, tight. "We have to do something. This isn't - "

"Fucking hell," James whispers, decidedly. "Fucking - fucking - fuck."

"This is not going to be us," Sirius says, firmly, no waver in his voice. "This - this isn't us. This isn't our world, and its never going to be. We have to fix it, whatever we - messed up."

"Messed up?" Lily asks, probably looking hysterical. She feels hysterical. "Messing up is getting a T on a Transfiguration essay. Messing up is getting caught in a food fight and getting detention. Messing up is - not this."

Astrid who had been quiet till now says, suddenly, "This is my fault."

Lily looks at her, confused, like all of them - because how did she figure that? - all of this is obviously not her fault. But there's something - something she's missing, she thinks, as she sees Sirius and Remus exchange a meaningful glance - and James looking at them, eyebrows furrowed. "Of course not, Astrid," she says, sighing, because nobody else is saying anything. "Why would this be your fault? That makes no sense at - "

"How do you know me, Tom?" Astrid asks, very quietly, barely audible. "Am I really - your - ?"

_____

Astrid doesn't need to ask what she's asking - doesn't need to say grandmother, they all know already - and Sirius admits that they all kind of know the answer too. They all know where it went wrong. What they messed up. Or what they might mess up. Sirius and Remus and Astrid know, atleast. James looks so confused, Sirius feels like smacking some sense into him.

He looks like Peter. On one of the worse days.

Its probably because he didn't see Lily's face when Astrid came to call James. That helpless resignation, that - feeling that completely broke any hope left for them, for their -

Sirius still doesn't know what to think about the newspaper - Regulus - Snape? - doesn't know what to make of it. But he definitely knows that his brother isn't too far gone. He's got a good heart, Sirius knows that. But its almost nice to see the proof. Even if the proof is the newspaper from a horrible dystopian world, where Voldemort kills Dumbledore and -

This is not their world, he tells himself. It isn't. It'll never be. And Regulus is never going to be a death eater, Sirius promises himself. Even if he needs to strap him to a chair and leave him be till he sees fucking sense.

Astrid is still looking at Jerry. "Am I?"

There's a long pause.

Then, Tom sighs, defeatedly.

And replies, just as quietly as Astrid, "Of course not."

There's a blink - Sirius hears Lily gasp, she's understood, finally understood - and Jerry's standing right in front of them, like he was never gone, swaying on his feet.

Its slightly anti-climatic, Sirius thinks, why didn't they just do that earlier? - as he glances at the Map, where the names now read - Sirius R. M. Potter and James R. M. Potter, as Tom hugs Jerry hard enough to strangle - who looks slightly dazed.

There's no Dark Mark on his skin, anymore.

Remus grabs the Daily Prophet from Lily's hands - his eyes sweeping over it, a small, bemused smile spreading on his face as he reads, words dissolving and forming anew - while Tom tells Jerry what exactly happened to him. Jerry hasn't even realized that he had disappeared. For quite some time.

Sirius cranes his neck to see what's printed now, if they've managed to revert back to the world where there is no Voldemort - an actual future -

Printed in big letters on the top is,

19 September 2009

CELEBRATING THE THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY OF WAR HERO HERMIONE GRANGER-WEASLEY!! Hermione Jean Granger, born on 19 September 1979, to muggle parents, youngest Minister for Magic and one third of the Golden Trio, turns thirty today! Ronald Weasley, Head of the Auror Department in the DMLE and husband to Mrs. Granger-Weasley, refuses to give any comments about the private celebration, that is rumoured to take place at Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire, home to married couple Draco and Harry Malfoy-Potter and their twin sons. The day also recently marked as the House-Elf Labour's Day, more commonly called H.E.L Day, requires all citizens of Britain to provide a full day leave to the House Elves working everywhere.

Sirius feels like he can breathe again. Harry Potter. His name is Harry Potter. He would have green eyes, Sirius guesses, looking at Tom's green ones, looking at Lily's.

Headmistress Minerva Mcgonagall is to retire after more than half a century of service as a teacher at Hogwarts. Neville Longbottom, War Hero, current Head of Gryffindor and Deputy, will be taking her place in the coming month. Filius Flitwick, retired Charms Professor, who had been travelling for research purposes, after his retirement, will also be in attendance of the farewell event.

Headmistress Minnie. Knew she had it in her. Sirius looks up to see Astrid smiling wryly at James, and shrugging as if to say well, what can you do? while she looks at the changed newspaper. James is gaping. In general. Possibly at Evans, possibly at Kale - he sort of seems out of it. Sirius scans the paper idly, seeing a tiny headline about someone called Seamus Finnigan, who accidentally burnt a section of a dragon reserve in Romania, that was supposed to be impervious to fire. Impressive, that.

Ginevra Weasley-Zabini, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies, and Lord Blaise Weasley-Zabini formally disclose the reason for Ginevra Wesley's hasty leave from the Quidditch team! Awaiting the second and new Weasley-Zabini child in five more months!

"Tom?" Lily asks, hesitantly. "Do you mean - are you saying that - ?"

"He is," James says, and Sirius almost lets out a relieved breath. His best mate apparently isn't as much of an oblivious idiot as Sirius had feared five minutes ago. But James is avoiding Lily's eyes like anything, almost looking scared of her reaction. "He - is saying that."

Jerry and Tom are looking between them, a little amused.

"But I just - the hair and the - " Lily says, like that's the most important thing here. "Both of you - have hair and eyes like - and the quidditch, you seemed to know Astrid - "

"My father has blonde hair and grey eyes," Tom says, easily. "They aren't even the same as Astrid's. This is typical Malfoy hair. And Jerry's eyes are the same shade of grey that all Blacks and Malfoys have, actually."

"Tom's eyes are green," Jerry says, pointedly looking at Lily, who blushes. A year ago, Sirius could have sworn Evans never blushed.

He's right, now that Sirius thinks about it. The hair are just not gelled back, or long and tied up in those formal judge hairstyles and neither are the eyes accompanied with the haughty expression. Simple mistakes.

"Besides," Jerry continues. "We don't know Astrid personally. We never have. We just know of her. Everybody does."

"Of course," Tom says, sounding a little excited. "Chaser for Puddlemere? Even in our time, she's at her prime - "

They've started talking about her like she isn't just sixteen and standing right there, Sirius thinks, amusedly - watching Astrid's mouth open in surprise - cheeks flushing a pleased pink.

" - one of the oldest players in the whole league," Tom says. "And she's still got the record for the highest scores. We watched a match of her's right before we got - er - misplaced. It was so cool - "

Sirius can't help but laugh. They sound like they've been dying to say all this to her.

"And then here we were, suddenly realising that we could actually play with you!" Jerry exclaims, rambling. "With you! And that you dated our grandfather? Do you know how cool of a story that would make for our cousins?! Nobody knows about this. I mean, we've all heard the story of our grandparents and that they hated each other but then they didn't and all that - "

Lily coughs delicately. James looks away at the door, red.

"But this!" Tom finishes, cheeks colored. He might have a crush on Astrid, Sirius thinks, amused. He seems almost embarrassed. Astrid's staring at them like she can't believe them. Sirius can hardly blame her. Its fairly unbelievable.

Sirius feels a tap on his shoulders, and turns around to see Remus pointing towards a small headline on the newspaper, biting his lip thoughtfully, a wondrous expression on his face.

Edward Remus Lupin, or Teddy Lupin as he's better known, Junior Healer at St. Mungo's and godson of Harry Potter, has recently donated 10,000 galleons to Lupin's Trust For Werewolves in Need, a foundation formed to honor his father, Remus John Lupin, a member of the Order of Phoenix, War Hero. Mr. Lupin has refused to comment on the progress of testing the new Wolfsbane Potion. Our sources tell us that Teddy Lupin has been working in affiliation with Draco Malfoy-Potter, former Death Eater and Charms Professor at Hogwarts.

Merlin. Sirius is beaming at Remus, who's involuntarily beaming back - looking so absolutely shocked - looking so happy - and Sirius can understand that. He really, really can. Its more than a surprising news. Its less of a news, actually more of a is this real? revelation, the kind that happens in dreams - Sirius watches Remus mouthing the words Edward Remus Lupin and Lupin's Trust For Werewolves in Need - before feeling a sudden, petrifying stab of doubt. Just because Lily and James were meant for each other, wouldn't mean that -

Sirius can't complete the thought. No. No, he doesn't want to know more - they shouldn't even know this much about the future - they're going to make their own future, and Sirius knows, he knows that Remus will be in his future -

Even if Teddy Lupin isn't his, even if this isn't his world, Remus will be in Sirius's world. He's often thought about why the twins are named after them all - something in Sirius tells him that there's practically only one reason.

Named in honor of. Named in the memory of.

He doesn't want to think about it, because if its going to come, it will come. There's no point in thinking about it, no point in worrying about it.

However, Sirius thinks, his eyes on Remus, there is definitely a point in licking that one small scar under Remus's lip - there definitely is -

Remus somehow seems to understand, maybe he wants to, too, Sirius thinks, delightedly - as he grabs his wrist and, avoiding Sirius's eyes, drags him outside the common room.

They barely make it into the nearest broom closet, before they're kissing like the world's ending.

In a way, Sirius muses, the world did end. The future they deserve, did cease to exist. Its still quite overwhelming to know that the entire future is basically counting on James to not do something stupid. Bloody hell.

The world ended there, for a couple of minutes, he thinks.

Sirius unbuttons Remus's shirt, licking that tiny scar. Once. Twice.

And then it started again, he realises and smiles against Remus's mouth.

____

Chapter Text

____

Lily smirks as she sees Remus dragging Sirius out. About time, she thinks.

James is looking so scared, that Lily almost feels worse for him than her. He looks like he's already married Lily while dating Astrid. And had kids. And grandkids. Its sort of funny, the way Astrid doesn't seem as affected as James, as she listens to the twins telling her all about her greatest moves and all the matches she's won.

She needs to work so many things out, though, she needs to work out whether James actually likes her at the moment, whether James actually thinks of her as anything more than a friend - because if he does, why did he seem so horrified he'd kissed her? No, he was probably like that because he had technically cheated on Astrid, she reasons out, because if he truly didn't like her then the way he's looking at her right now, would be very odd.

"Quidditch, then?" Astrid asks, clapping her hands together and looking at the twins. They nod eagerly, Tom picking up the long-forgotten brooms.

"Astrid - I - I don't," James begins, looking apologetic. "I didn't mean to - "

"James," Astrid says, looking him in the eye. "I understand. I really, really do."

She does? Can she explain, then? Lily thinks, tiredly.

"It's not your fault," Astrid continues. "And I don't blame you. I would still like for us to be friends."

Lily realises with a little shame that maybe Astrid also never wanted the life she'd been told she had. She hadn't even tried thinking about the whole mess from Astrid's point of view, just foolishly assumed that she'd gotten everything she wanted.

James grins back weakly, "Of course," he says, nervously. "I - you're a good friend, Kale."

"And clearly," she glances at the twins and grins, flipping her hair back, "The better chaser."

Lily laughs, Astrid really is something else. Peter's also obviously started feeling awkward standing there alone, because he goes out with a mumbled, "Going to find Mary."

"Alright, Potter, sort your shit out," Astrid says, in a drill sergeant type of voice, mouthing a "go, get him!" to Lily over her shoulder as the three go out - the twins holding the brooms. "See you later."

James and Lily face each other, in the empty dormitory.

____

"I just broke up," James says. "Atleast, I think I did. She did, I mean. With me. I think."

"She did," Lily agrees, raising her eyebrows.

"I should be upset," James says.

"And are you?" Lily asks, casually.

"Feeling less guilty, actually," James says, inclining his head. "I always felt like I was leading her on for nothing."

"Huh," Lily says, flatly, even though the answer relieves her. "Were you?" she asks, rhetorically.

"Lily - I - " James begins, messing up his hair, as Lily watches, trying to bite back a smile. "I didn't - what happened last night?" he blurts out. "What - did I do?"

"You?" Lily asks, realising in a flash that James barely remembers anything. "You didn't do anything. Well, you kissed me, but it was hardly one-sided. What did you think happened?"

"I just - I thought - that you were drunk and maybe I - " it sounds like a struggle, she thinks, as James stumbles through his words.

"I would hex you, James," Lily tells him, understanding what he's saying, and James nods quickly.

"Of course," he says, like that's obvious. It probably is. "I remembered you pushing me away - so I thought. Well. I didn't think you - liked me. Like that. And I might have pushed too much, and - "

"It wasn’t like that," Lily assures him. "I wasn't drunk, really. I just - didn't want you to - "

"Astrid," he says, at the same time as she says, "The twins."

They both nod at each other. Its getting fairly awkward, fairly quickly.

"We don't have to," Lily says, abruptly. Its something she's been meaning to get out for quite long. "We don't have to - do this - if you're just doing it because of what the twins said - "

"What if I want to?" James asks, before quickly looking away. "What if I've always wanted to?" he adds, in a whisper, to his shoes.

"Oh," Lily says, feeling strangely tongue-tied now.

"So - you - uh - do you," James stutters, and Lily truly, truly wonders, why she'd ever thought that this dorky, oblivious idiot was cocky and confident. He's asked her out a million times, surely, this one time shouldn't be tough? He practically knows she's going to say yes. "Do you - you wanted to - but, but you hate me?!" he says, instead, looking embarrassed.

"I kissed you, James," Lily says, slowly as he swallows, his throat bobbing. "I don't - hate you. I don't think I ever did. You're - you're a good friend, and I - I like talking to you. Being with you."

"You do?" James asks, sounding so comically bewildered, that Lily starts laughing.

"You - you're laughing at me," James complains, indignantly, before starting to smile a little himself. "You're not making this easy for me, you know."

"James," Lily says, evenly, stepping closer to him. "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you."

She stands there motionless for a second - before catching at the front of his shirt and pulling him towards her. His arms encircle her, leaning down - and then she's kissing him, he's kissing her - and its even better than the last one -

The feel of his lips on hers is dizzying, and her heart feels like its beating faster than she ever thought possible - his hands are tracing her cheekbones, as he cups her face gently, "You're fucking gorgeous," James whispers. "I always thought so, you know."

And they're both kissing again - its slow and feathery before she presses in, and then it feels like literal fire - woah, she thinks - and pulls back slightly, after a moment - her smile possibly delirious.

He's grinning, looking out of breath. "That was - " she starts, her voice rough. "That was - "

"You're amazing," James says, tucking her hair back. "That was amazing. You're bloody fucking brillant."

She pulls him down again, her mouth on his.

He obliges.

"Come to Hogsmeade with me, Lily Evans," he says, his voice hoarse, as she sends up a silencing spell and a locking charm on the dorm with her wand. He's pressing her against the wall now, his hands on either side of her head, as she pulls her hands away from his neck.

"Maybe," Lily says back, grinning, challenge in her eyes. "Impress me, Potter, and we'll see."

She shrugs off her jacket, as he removes his shirt in one, fluid movement. Its probably wierd that she finds that attractive too.

"I would never let you down, Evans," James says, innuendo clear in his choice of words, as he kickes off his shoes, crouches down and removes her shoes, too. Why is that so incredibly hot?

"Man of many talents, huh?" Lily asks, sliding off his glasses, and keeping them somewhere on her right. She feels like she physically can't take her eyes off him.

"Only quidditch and flirting," he says, and Lily can hear the smirk in his voice.

"As if you know how to flirt," she says flippantly, laughing as he kisses her again.

______

do you remember when we were eleven?
let's go back to that

i found you on a moving train, lily
( - i won't be able to move on without you - )
we were inevitable, weren't we?
( - we're going to change the world, we're going to change history - )

they're not going to change history, the walls whisper
they're going to make it
( - i will if you go out with me, evans - )

( - "potter, where are my fucking books?" - )
yell at me, evans, come on
( - "did you check the lake, evans?" - )
red-cheeked, perfect tie, missing pile of books
come on, evans, yell at me
( - show me your fire - )

let's go back to when we met
because i want to see your eyes
for the first time again
i want to see them and wonder
why didn't i know that shade of green existed yet
but
i don't need to see those red hair
for the first time again
because truth is, everytime i see them,
it takes my breath away like it was the first
( - please no, take me, kill me instead - )

i want to see that little girl in pigtails again, evans, when did you grow up?
did i grow up, too? did you notice?
( - "i wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid" - )
you were wrong, lily, finally

we've come so far from the little kids we were
but when i look at you
( - oh, give it up, potter - )
all i see are stray hexes and spurned offers and scribbled margins and stolen snitches
( - potter, i love that you never give up - )
let's go back to that
( - you never gave up on me, did you? - )

do you remember when i was hanging off the astronomy tower
because the slytherins pushed me?
and when you couldn't pull me up,
you fell with me
i didn't know you could fly, evans
( - you fucking marvel - )
did you fall with me? did you really?
( - you looked like an angel, then, i swear - )

is it possible to love somebody as much as i love you?
you're magic, evans
( - there's a certain beauty in burning kisses - )
pure, pure magic, gods, i love you
( - you're a heartbreaker, lily evans - )
and i think you've stolen mine
don't break it, please

( - you've got trouble written all over you, potter - )

let's go back to when we were eleven
for now i know i love you
( - we make chaos together, evans, me and you - )
and that for so many moments there,
( - "its you and i," you want to say, and i know that because i know you" - )
i always, always had.

____

Chapter Text

_______

Saturday Afternoon

The boy appeared in a blink.

Regulus Black, who had been glaring at Mulciber and Avery grappling for the new edition of Which Broomstick? - stood up abruptly, exchanging a glance with Snape across the room. They often did that, Regulus realised, gloomily. Possibly the consequence of living with idiots.

The boy, brown-haired and green-eyed, blinked as he looked around, frowning slightly, before he locked eyes with Snape - at which point, his whole face lit up, breaking into a triumphant, beaming smile. Regulus half-expected him to jump and whoop. He didn't, however, expect his hair to start changing color.

It obviously did.

Mulciber and Avery had stopped in their magazine wrestling, and were now staring at the boy suspiciously. That wasn't far off the mark, of course, since the boy had appeared out of nowhere. And then, there was his - well, his everything.

His hair - which had slowly turned from brown to blue on seeing Snape, a bright shade of turquoise - contrasted sharply with his black muggle jeans, which for some reason had holes in it - and his leather jacket, which Regulus would bet half his vault was Sirius's jacket. He was pretty sure nobody else had the same shade of bright pink pawprint-patches put up on black leather jackets, and moreover, it had the same frayed lining at the top left sleeve, from when Sirius had been hexed, once. Regulus should know, he had been the one to hex him, after all.

"...Regulus Black, I presume?" the boy said, suddenly, cheerfully - startling Regulus. What the fuck was going on?

Regulus nodded out of habit, shaking the boy's offered hand. He had a thin, silver ring around his third finger. Married, then. Or soon to be. But he was so young -

Blue hair, Regulus thought, resignedly. Metamorphmagus. He's probably changing his appearance to look young, he realised, looking at the tattoo curled around the boy's wrist and behind his right ear. Regulus couldn't make out what they were, clearly.

"And you are?" Snape asked, sneering a little, from the corner of the room, putting his book down and stalking up to them. "Care to explain how you got here?"

"Oh, who I am is not very important," the boy said, which was simply unacceptable. "About where I came from - well, I suppose I was standing here all along - "

And he pulled out from around his neck a golden chain with a spinning dial on it -

A Time Turner, Regulus realised.

"I'm here to get my friends back," the boy completed, grinning, even though everyone had now lost interest. He was the Potters' friend. "I think you know them - ?"

"Unfortunately," Snape muttered, shortly, walking back to his chair. "You can go out of the common room from - "

"Oh, I know, Mr. Snape," he said, looking happily unfazed at Snape’s rudeness, leaving Snape to blink at the Mr. "I was a Slytherin, after all."

Regulus stared at the boy's retreating back in a state of high bewilderment, as he ducked out from the portrait, after - after - winking. At Snape.

Winking at Snape.

He would have guessed Hufflepuff.

______

Chapter Text

_________

Teddy Lupin was here. He was finally, actually here. He'd done it - admittedly, Hermione had helped a lot - but still. He had really achieved deliberate, concise time travel - crossing, traveling, hopping the huge gap of almost fifty years - fifty whole years! - and he was here.

He almost couldn't believe it, as he walked up from the dungeons, his eyes scanning faces that were familiar but unfamiliar, hungrily taking in all the differences, all the people he could recognize for certain. That's Gilderoy Lockhart there, an amused voice in his head, supplied.

His father could very well be anywhere near him at the moment. His father.

It was a compelling feeling, an edge-of-the-seat, a knife-on-the-heart feeling - he was going to meet Remus Lupin, today.

His appearance changed almost unconsciously - hair turning blue, eyes going a lighter grey - because wouldn't his real appearance, which was extraordinarily similar to Remus's own be difficult to explain? Unless, Tom and Jerry had already screwed up. Knowing them, Teddy thinks, wryly - they must have.

He's missed Jerry so much he really can't describe it.

His absence hadn't been a gaping hole, hadn't been an empty void - it had been fierce and burning and it made Teddy furious that he hadn't been able to get the two back home yet. He suspects it as his dormant werewolf instincts - the urge in him that says Jerry should be home - that screams Jerry should always be with him -

But, he's getting them back, now. Anyhow. He's here, and he's going to get them -

That's exactly when Teddy spots Mcgonagall. She's so young, he thinks, gaping as he sees her walking briskly in the direction of what Teddy knows was Neville's Office during his time, meaning it was her office, here.

Maybe, he can go meet her.

She disappears round the corner, and he shrugs it off - making his way down to the grounds. He can see students near the lake and sitting under the large tree next to it. It must be the weekend, he thinks, which is when he hears a loud -

"Oy! Blue hair!"

He spins around hastily, spotting three girls sitting on the edge of the grounds, leaning on the stone ledges and laughing. The one who's called for him, her hair are long and dark, eyes amused as she gestures at him to come near. He obliges. It feels weird not to. These girls must be thirty years older than him, easily. He should listen.

He looks at the other two, one blonde, and one brown-haired and tall -

Oh. Oh, wait. He knows this girl.

She's certainly still a teenager at this point, but the brown hair, the nose - the slight baby fat on the cheeks, the freckles - this has to be -

Her eyes aren't sunken, though. They aren't glazed over and pained - they're bright and sharp, reflecting the light as she grins at him, carefree, playful -

He knows this woman. After all, he had just spent almost two years studying and researching and experimenting for a way to cure her. It hadn't worked yet, but Draco and Professor Neville were getting quite hopeful.

"You're - you're - Alice Lo - " he says, before the words die in his throat. She couldn't be married yet. "You're Alice," he settles on, smiling politely.

"Alice Fortescue, yeah," the blonde girl agrees, and points to each of them in turn. "This is Marlene McKinnon and I'm Dorcas Meadowes. Pleasure, Blue hair."

Oh. Marlene McKinnon. He's heard that name before. He nods, shaking their offered hands.

Alice raises her eyebrows as she shakes his hand, before smirking. "Well. I certainly don't know you. I think I'd remember those hair - "

He smiles, and his hair color changes to the same shade as hers. They all stare at him, before the dark-haired one laughs, shaking her head. "That is so cool," Marlene says, eyes wide, and curious. "I haven't ever met a Metamorphmagus before. Who are you?"

"About that," Teddy says, not sure if he should say anything. "I'm actually looking for some friends of mine - uh - "

He pauses. Would Jerry and Tom have told them their real names?

" - the marauders?" he finishes, wincing. He could bet half his savings that where they would be, so would the twins. "Remus Lupin...maybe?"

"Maybe?" Alice echoes, narrowing her eyes at him, but its more amused than suspicious. "You're friends with their gang?"

"Something like that," Teddy agrees, as Marlene suddenly runs a finger on the pawprints on his jacket, frowning. Oh, shit. He had forgotten about that. "This is - "

Teddy pulls out the chain of the golden Time Turner, and they all gape at it.

"I've come to take Tom and Jerry back home?" he tries, hesitant - and the sudden realisation on their faces is relieving. "Do you know where they are?"

Alice and Dorcas exchange a look, and nod in sync, before Dorcas pushes Alice in the direction of the castle. "Come on, go get Longbottom," she says, smirking, and Alice scowls at her, stumbling. "We'll meet you outside Rosmerta's."

"Or Puddifoot's," Marlene mutters, and Alice flips her off behind her back. "Or in the Loo's. Doing Loo things."

Dorcas laughs as Alice aims a tripping jinx at Marlene.

Teddy can't help but feel a burst of excitement, because he's so close - JerryJamesJerryJamesJerryJ.R. -

_______

"I should really, really tell you this," Teddy says, his voice all panicked, as he eyes the arm that Rita fucking Skeeter has draped all over him. She's apparently a Junior Prophet Writer, and she feels that his Metamorphmagus ability, quite rare, she says, which he knows - will make for an interesting Hogsmeade story. Its hilarious, considering the fact that this woman would soon have the whole country wrapped around her Quick-Quotes Quill, but right now she's so extremely desperate for a story basically about hair.

Marlene and Dorcas are no help at all, they laugh as she clings to his arm, fluttering her lashes and acting all coy. "I'm like fifty years younger to you - "

She lets out a little laugh, probably because she thinks its a joke. He is so not joking.

" - and also," he adds, forcefully. "I'm gay. I have a boyfriend. I really, really do."

Marlene and Dorcas exchange a knowing smile. Skeeter lets go of his hand, but isn't even slightly deterred about using him for a story. He almost feels bad, but then - he knows how she can be. She's probably faking it all.

"And I need to go meet him," he finishes. "Now. So, if you would excuse us - "

_______

"The Three Broomsticks has karaoke?" Teddy asks, incredulously, right before they enter. He can see them singing through the window.

"Of course," Dorcas says, with a frown.

"In our time - well," Teddy says, glancing inside, the idea striking him immediately. "They just play old records. This is - brillant."

"It is, isn’t it?" Marlene asks, grinning, and then points inside. "There they are, let's go, I can see Lily, come on - "

Teddy has to squint a little to see properly. Its a red-haired girl, her head leaning on a dark-haired boy's shoulder -

Oh. Lily and James Potter. Right. This is utterly bizarre.

"You guys go ahead," he says, grinning when Marlene passes him a quizzical look. "I have something to do, before I go in. Oh, and - don't tell them I'm here."

They nod, pushing the door open, and going inside - leaving Teddy on the street.

Karaoke, he thinks, excitedly, anxiously - as he walks inside through the back door.

_______

Saturday Morning

" - and that chin thing you do, all arrogant like," Lily says, laughing. "I used to hate it, the whole chin-up-head-tilt like you were some king just watching all the peasants around you - "

James looks horrified.

"That's not even my fault," James says, looking at Sirius, who's snorting. "Its just a habit because my antlers are too heavy!"

As Lily Evans laughs, because that makes an astonishing amount of sense - and because of the fact that even if it didn't, she wouldn't mind it anymore - it feels like she's got her Happy Ending. She's with her friends, the food is brillant - the music is great - its all so - wonderful.

She has so much fun just talking to these people, it shouldn't even be possible.

"You know, you never did tell us who your first kiss was," Lily asks, changing the topic and watching James sputter from the corner of her eye. They're sitting on the tiny corner table, James, Remus, Sirius, the Twins and her - in The Three Broomsticks. Lily and James have been pretending that Sirius and Remus haven't been fucking each other with their eyes. Peter and Mary are in the dormitory, because Peter got sick in the morning and like Marlene said, Mary wanted to play nurse.

"Oh," James says, huffing, and Sirius inclines his head, smirking. "My first kiss was - well, you see - we weren't actually - we just wanted to try what it was like - "

"I beat you there, Evans," Sirius interrupted, and Lily hummed, small smile on her face.

"That's rather interesting, you know?" she says, and Remus laughs nervously.

"Is it?" James asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it really is," Lily says, smiling wider now.

"Actually - " Remus begins, coughing delicately.

"Because, I beat you there, too Sirius," Lily finishes, in a mocking impression - and Sirius gapes, blinking and staring at Remus as he flushes slowly, before James starts his own "Betrayal, Remus!" rant.

Lily laughs along, and wonders just when everything became so perfect. The last week seems like a whirlwind of emotions - but she can't help the fact that her eyes light up involuntarily when she sees the three of them - its just so - perfect.

______

The music stops suddenly, just as they order more drinks - and Sirius jumps up instantly - as if to go and protest for the unfair one second gaps between playlists - but this time, when the music starts playing, it isn't the same singer who's been singing the whole time.

Nobody's standing on the small, makeshift stage yet, but the voice streams through the speaker next to them. Its a boy's, young, not very heavy - the tune melodious - rich - and somehow, powerful -

She's never heard this particular tune before. It sounds - lovely. Sirius is blinking, standing up from his chair to peer at the stage and see who's singing.

Then, the lyrics start - and Jerry and Tom jerk upright, looking at each other with open mouths.

"I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile, while you are sleeping"

"Is that - " Tom begins, as Jerry looks at him, eyes wide, pale face.

"No way," Jerry whispers, sounding shell-shocked, his ear towards the speaker like he's listening as intently as possible.

"While you're far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever -
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure"

"It is," Tom says, abruptly, an incredulous smile spreading on his face.

"But - but - it just can't - " Jerry says, shaking his head.

"I am so confused," Remus says, and exchanges an empathetic glance with Lily.

"I kinda like this song," Sirius says, bobbing his head with the beat.

"Don't want to close my eyes,
I don't want to fall asleep -
'Cause I'd miss you baby,
And I don't want to miss a thing"

"It has to be," Tom says, confidently, and Lily wonders what he's even talking about. The people in the pub have started enjoying the song - they're all swaying to the tune, looking around for who's singing.

"How'd you know for sure?" Jerry asks, heatedly, glaring at Tom.

Tom's smirk is smug, as he says, "We're in 1976, Jerry. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing literally came out in '98."

Jerry hisses in realization, pushing his chair back as he gets up, eyes wide and hopeful -

"Cause even when I dream of you,
The sweetest dream will never do,
I'd still miss you baby -
And I don't want to miss a thing"

Jerry beams, starting to laugh delightedly - as the curtain on the right side shakes out, and a boy walks out - tall and lean, impish grin on his face, framed by a head of thick, bright blue hair, wand with an amplifying charm clutched in his hands, as he sings, eyes locking with Jerry's immediately. He's singing for Jerry, Lily realises, with a jolt.

"Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating,
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming"

She hears Remus gasp slightly, as Tom whoops and cheers, yelling a good-natured, "Dramatic much, Teddy!?" - she watches as Jerry walks to the stage. The blue-haired boy - Teddy, apparently - grins at him, before offering a hand, and pulls him up on stage with him.

Jerry pulls the wand towards him, and they sing together, looking so completely at ease, like they always do this together - it's adorable. Lily feels an alarming urge to coo, as they stare at each other, both with matching smiles, like they don't even realise they're singing in front of people.

Tom pretends to gag, loudly and pointedly, as Teddy kisses Jerry on the forehead, and its so sweet - the way they're looking at each other - clearly in love.

"Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes - "

Teddy does kiss him, on his eyelids, gentle and fleeting - and Jerry looks like he's going to explode from happiness.

They both hold the wand between them, eyes locked as they sing the last lines before the music -

"And thank God we're together
And I just want to stay with you in this moment forever,
Forever and ever"

The soft tune continues as Teddy stops singing, shoving his wand back in his pocket and then, they're kissing, full on the lips, Jerry's hands in Teddy's hair, which are rapidly changing color to a bright pink - Sirius and Tom are booing - Remus looks highly overwhelmed.

They hold hands as they come off the stage, whispering in each other's ears, before Jerry jumps on Teddy's back, and Teddy gives him a piggyback ride till where they're sitting, Jerry laughing and whooping, kissing Teddy on the cheek with a loud smack.

Tom gets up as they reach, hugging Teddy tightly - like a brother would.

"Took you long enough, Lupin," he says, releasing him, and both Remus and Teddy wince at the same time on hearing the name, then, exchange a sheepish look.

Teddy narrows his eyes at him, as he says, "Having a good old time, were you?"

"When do we not?" Tom asks, snorting and taking a seat. "But Ted, you won't believe it, did you know that Astrid Kale went out with - "

"This is Edward Lupin," Jerry interrupts, firmly, looking at them all like he expects them to contradict him. "You can call him Teddy."

Remus is red, even as he extends his hand and says, "Hello. You can call me - Remus."

"Of course - er - Remus," Teddy says, looking relieved as he shakes his hand, sitting down. He extends his hand to each of them in turn. "Sirius - James - Lily, its a pleasure to meet you all."

His hair's gone a little duller, Lily notices. Does that mean anything?

_______