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It’s an evening celebration past the holidays but not late to enjoy the peace in Yokohama. The PM and ADA are enjoying a shared outdoor party, while still upholding the truce, which is more permanent than before.
Dazai Osamu, the sole string that used to be the bridge between the two groups at the beginning, is now the spectator to the results of his own decisions and other plans he helped bring in place. He feels so close to happiness, but not yet, not when he still hasn’t seen a certain someone with a terrible temper and an undeniably short stature.
It’s been an hour since they started this party, Yosano, along with Anee-san and Hirotsu had already shared enough wisdom to one another to cover a lifetime. Kunikida has been growing his white hairs trying to bring the party to perfection. Tanizaki is unfortunately, the one in-charge of making sure that the snacks will last until the end of the party, ofcourse it involves a lot of physical sacrifices, dealing with Ranpo who is dead-set on consuming all of the foods in one go. He looked over to where most of the noise come from, the kids are having fun. For a moment, they all looked like normal people, happy and not scarred of their own past-demons. Kenji, Kyouka and Naomi are trying their best to not burn the barbecue, while Gin and Higuchi are setting up the tables. While those activities may indeed cause a lot of noise, most of it come from a loud battering and shouting from a pair, not far from the food aisle. He snickers realizing that he did a very good job to bring Atsushi and Akutagawa together, he thinks that maybe someday, they’ll have better chances on the important things than he and a particular someone.
His thoughts then drifted to that one thing he’s been anxious about all day, all of these, the peace, may be happiness to some, but not for him. It’s been an hour, everyone’s here, but where is he? Where is Chuuya?
Dazai then shifted to properly rest his hands on the round table he chose to sat in. He’s deep in thoughts of how Chuuya has been absent from the main scene for far too long that it scares him. Yes, Dazai’s disappeared before, for four years, but he never missed out on a chance to see his red head. He never got himself used to Chuuya’s absence because he had always sought him out. He never considered Chuuya as someone he had to lose because he did all kinds of stuff just to see him, and make sure that Chuuya is safe.
Mori-san and Fukuzawa-san then walked in, followed by the sudden silence in the room. The two leaders both looked confused and gave out a small smile upon the realization. “The longer the gawking, the shorter the time is to enjoy the festivities” , announced by Mori-san, while heading to the seat near where the President sat. The proximity of the positions where the two leaders sat somehow made the members receive the signal to proceed with the party.
“Dazai-san, can you help me and Akutagawa decide on which wine tastes better? Kunikida-san doesn’t have to know, we just have a bet and Akutagawa is holding me up for it” , Atsushi said lowly while holding Akutagawa’s coat, the other seem to be annoyed by the gesture but allows it.
Dazai feels curiosity seeping in and he was about to answer when a certain red haired gnome appeared. “ When you trust that bastard to be the judge of wines, then you must be wacked in the head or something” , the said gnome proceeded to seat opposite where Dazai is seated. “ Chuuya-san, you really don’t have to” started by Akutagawa, who then glared at Atsushi. “ This Jinko over here just doesn’t have any good taste in his body that he just finds a way to prove a point” , Atsushi gasp and started to express his disagreement, all of it went unnoticed when Dazai looked at the person in front of him.
For a moment, he felt emotions bubbling up from his stomach to his chest, he studied the red head, how a lot has changed and how some didn’t. He may have changed his style, or the way he slips in conversations,but the way his perfect features are cupped by his flaming red hair is a constant, Dazai thinks. His stare lingered on the other’s lips, he thought of how he used to have all the rights to kiss them and do stuff with them. He also noticed how the chibi is wearing a different choker, a new one. This choker screams brand new. Dazai felt a pang of uncertainty in his chest, a dilemma starting in his head. Why is the Chibi not wearing my choker? The choker I worked so hard to pick just for him?
“Enjoying the view Mackerel? I might melt into a puddle if you keep that for long” , Chuuya said with the right amount of boastfulness and class as he is also holding wine, ofcourse.
Dazai was taken a back but he is Dazai so, “ Nah, I’m just wondering how a slimey slug like you managed to get here before the party’s conclusion?” , he made a show of disgust and even looked away.
Chuuya’s gripped on his wine glass tightened, “I took the time to make myself presentable, unlike a mackerel like you who fancy wasting bandages!”
Ah, ofcourse, same old Chuuya, easy to annoy and always have the mouth to bite back. Dazai grinned, “So you admit that you’re a slimey slug? Also, it’s a fashion choice Chibi, someone with a small brain like you will never understand” , he noticed how Chuuya tensed and he braced himself for an ear popping scream of profanities, and it came.
Dazai breathed out and thought that this is happiness. That he can waste away in life doing this. He smiled at how Chuuya’s face change from one emotion to the other, he smiled as he thinks of what life can be if he gets to have this Chibi by his side for the rest of his life.
His thoughts are disrupted when Chuuya suddenly looked back, as if suddenly realizing something. Dazai followed Chuuya’s line of sight and saw that there is someone, not really familiar to him , talking with Ane-san. Then before he could inquire about the person, Chuuya ran to the said person’s side. Dazai dismissed it at first as another subordinate, but when the “subordinate” held Chuuya by his waist, all alarms went off in Dazai’s head.
He didn’t move though, he just watched. He said to himself that he’ll wait when the party’s died down a bit, or when the guy Chuuya’s with release Chuuya. The party has been going on for four hours now, but the people in it does not show any sign of tiredness. He’s been sitting on the same position since earlier, his legs are starting to cramp a bit, but he just can’t move, he’s just watching an oblivious Chibi with his companion.
“You’ve been staring Lad, I presume you’re aware.” , He’s not surprised that Ane-san approached him, she’s always been the type to be the first one to notice when he and Chuuya are not in the mood. “Chuuya-kun is enjoying the company of Hiiro Nakita, an informant based in Russia” .
“Good to hear that Chibi’s keeping ties with others for future assistance”, he said as he took a sip from a cup of juice, the kids made, offered by Gin, “But Ane-san, I didn’t ask nor do I care” , his statement goes against his actions as he continues to watch the pair not far from them. He heard his Ane-san sighed and said, “Dazai, your abilities as a person may be out of this world, but even with all of it,there are things that you should face. Try not to run away.”
Dazai looked at Kouyou, but she just smiled and walked away, by the time he regained his thoughts, Chuuya and Hiiro are already sat across him.
“Ane-san said that it might be a good thing to introduce you both to each other, I’m agaisnt it, but yeah.” Chuuya said, surprisingly calm. Dazai presented a smug face, “What made the slug think that I’d even entertain short people?” . Chuuya just rolled his eyes and it is evident how hard Chuuya restrained himself from making a scene, which confused Dazai. Chuuya never held back before, they always spout nonsense to one another, why hold back now?
What confused Dazai more is when Chuuya held the visible hand of Hiiro as he said, “Dazai, meet my partner, Hiiro Nakita”, before Dazai can react to express a fake disappointment on how Chuuya didn’t introduce him before the same way, but of course, Dazai’s aware, but he refuse to believe, Chuuya continues, “ Hon, meet Dazai Osamu, a colleague from the Detective Agency”. The Hiiro guy smiled at him, reached out for his hand, what a kind person to even uphold pleasantries to someone like him. He doesn’t know anymore, all he see is how Chuuya smiled at Hiiro and tightened his hold on Hiiro's hand as if to remind the guy that Chuuya’s there. He managed to shake hands, and smile but he couldn’t last there any longer. The two talked and talked, they shared things to him but he didn’t understand anything.
He looked up and the stars shine just like how they do every night, but he considers them prettier now. Prettier than the sight in front of him, atleast. It must have been the cold breeze of the wind, it hurts his eyes, and it’s getting harder to breathe.
Maybe this is his karma, to watch someone he loves deeply, love someone else. He watched how both looked at one another when they laughed. How they are constantly connected by their linked hands. He also noticed how Chuuya drank less wine, and engaged more on socializing. He see now, how Chuuya can shine brighter than he did before, that it only takes one person for Chuuya to smile that brightly. It’s blinding and beautiful at the same time.
It hurts, his whole body hurts. He can’t explain the pain in his throat, how words are now stucked in there, trying to force their way out. It hurts how he wants to say a lot of things, to maybe make his redhead think twice. He spared the group another look, and it timed when Chuuya is also looking at him, a hopeful bubble escaped his mind but was popped immediately when Chuuya smiled at him, full of happiness and contentment. That’s when he decided that he can still love his Chibi this way.
Art is meant to be loved and admired from afar anyways.