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—
it wasn't... weird, right?
how badly corpse wanted to know what it sounded like when sykkuno was provoked? no, that wasn't the right word... angry? furious? enraged? he wanted to know, and couldn't fathom how someone could just be so... so calm and serene all the damn time. so apologetic for not even doing the wrong things, so quick to back down and pacify a situation rather than get his point across even when he was so obviously correct.
corpse was sure no one had ever heard the male utter a curse (in real life, not in game, because trust him, he's religiously watched all the teen sykkuno compilation videos) but after hanging out one day with his friends — and yes, he'd been able to meet up with the others several times — it seemed he was really out of the loop.
"i just want to know," corpse had murmured slowly once sykkuno got up to use the bathroom after drinking so much coffee at once. "what it's like to be the target of sykkuno's anger."
there was a small pause in the conversation as everyone processed the faceless streamer's remark.
"... no... no, you don't." toast had simply drawled without looking up, absentmindedly trying to capture the last tapioca pearl in his cup for consumption.
"wait... toast, you've seen it?" that had corpse sitting up straighter, and before he knew it, everyone was looking up at him with an almost expressionless stare in their eyes. corpse bites the inside of his cheek, realizing how his voice had gotten a bit higher in anticipation. or maybe it's because they were talking about sykkuno. still, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden, he tones down his peaked interest.
suddenly it seemed like every single person had witnessed it but him, and it couldn't be more infuriating to know he was left out on something so momentous.
"we only witnessed it once." yvonne mutters after a long moment. "the first and last time, i fucking hope."
scarra snorts softly, shrugging his shoulders as he turns to corpse. "i know it's fascinating to want to know, but if you really think about it, you'd have to do something extremely appalling for someone like sykkuno to lose his shit, you know? and it's... it's really upsetting and shocking to see it happen."
"how come?" corpse dares to ask, his voice quiet and careful, like even speaking about the subject was wrong. and maybe it really was.
"it's because, well, whatever he went through in his past?" scarra continues, his words slow and hesitant. "i think it must have been a series of degrading events that programmed his body to just take and take. sykkuno he— we all know he hates fighting, and he especially can't handle being the reason someone is disappointed or upset with him. it's why he'll easily cave in during a heated argument just to get it to stop."
someone exhales in slight irritation, and corpse's gaze flickers over to the sound.
although toast still didn't seem to be paying much attention, his posture had become stiffer. brows drawn together, he pokes his straw around in his cup a bit more aggressively than usual.
corpse chews the inside of his cheek in thought, wanting so desperately to know just to satisfy the everlasting itch of curiosity in the back of his mind. he knew how horrible it was to want to see it, it was messed up, but something about the soft and composed sykkuno snapping — and no, he didn't mean the sad kind because god, did it painfully make his chest twist to imagine that — but genuinely going off and swearing, that was something he wanted to at least hear. just a quick, 'fuck!' from irritation.
except, from everyone's reactions right now, he couldn't help but feel guilty for even bringing about this intrusiveness of his. it wasn't his fault, there was no way he could've known how raw of a topic this may have been... but what had happened for them to behave this way? what happened when sykkuno got angry?
he's sure they've dropped the topic altogether from how it seemed that there was no interest in speaking anymore and everyone was avoiding eye contact. so with great tentativeness, corpse leans back on the couch in resign and decides to just pretend like the conversation didn't happen at all as he waits for sykkuno to return.
but then someone breaks the reticence that had fallen upon the room once more.
"it's silent and heavy," corpse looks up to see lily shifting in her seat to meet the male's gaze. she adjusts her glasses, her eyes leaving to look up at the ceiling in thought. "he's... he's so angry that he's quiet at first, but you can tell that he's not backing down, and you can feel it from how still he is."
"like he's trying to convince himself blowing up is a bad idea, but his brain is so overcome with incredulity and anger that there's no point in reasoning with it." brodin adds as an afterthought with a slow nod, thinking back.
"so... to feel the need to fight something so instinctual? it has to blindly overwhelm him enough that he's no longer in control of it." scarra clarifies.
"and then he just... explodes." michael finishes. "and if watching sykkuno absolutely lose his shit isn't the most out-of-body experience, i don't fucking know what is."
"yeah, i felt like i'd committed an illegal crime watching it happen." yvonne appends moderately. "corpse it's just... i hope you don't have to see it, sorry, but it's kind of tough. because it's like, he's not even angry, he's a distressed angry, so you want him to stop because you're scared he'll hurt himself, y'know?"
"yeah." toast finally speaks lowly after hearing the bathroom door open, indicating sykkuno was finally coming back, unaware of what had just been revealed. "there are just some people in this world you want to protect from any malice, no matter how little."
"like sykkuno?" corpse murmurs softly, his gaze flickering upward as the streamer who'd captured his heart makes his way down the hall.
"like sykkuno." toasts finishes, finally capturing the one tapioca pearl he'd been after this entire time.
"i- uh- i washed my hands if that's what you're all staring at me for!" sykkuno stammers when he realizes all eyes were on him.
everyone bursts into loud laughter, but corpse stays quiet, watching the shy streamer's skin flush into a soft shade of rosy pink from embarrassment as he hides his face and tries to duck away from the full attention. "w-why are you all laughing like that? i swear i didn't do anything!"
eventually, he heads toward the couch and sits against the armrest, all the way on the opposite side of corpse.
corpse smiles gently, boldly scooting over to get closer to the male until their thighs brushing together. feeling a surge of protectiveness and the need to be closer, corpse teasingly wraps an arm around sykkuno, who initially stiffens at the unfamiliar contact.
"i'll protect you, sykkuno." he hums with a chuckle, squeezing the male closer.
his heart races, realizing his bold move must've ruined his friendship when there's a small pause, and his anxiety begins to spark lightly, ready to flare up in a spiral of overthinking and regret. but to his surprise and unexpected burning satisfaction, the streamer stammers, flustered, but doesn't pull away.
in fact, sykkuno slowly relaxes against him, and with the reassuring pressure settling upon him and weighing his panic back down into the depths of his mind, corpse blows out a quiet exhale of relief through his mask.
fuck.
when the conversation finally shifts into discussing a funny among us game, everyone listens intently as sykkuno perks up and begins to recount a hilarious chase-down that happened between him and rae during one round.
and as the shy streamer begins to laugh and animatedly reenact rae's screaming, corpse glances down at the oblivious sykkuno comfortably resting beside him and feels his brows crinkle in concern.
corpse really didn't want to know, anymore.
—
but of course, fate had different plans.
"oh jesus! look at that one!"
sykkuno was strolling through the retail store one day with corpse, giggling at the odd plush toys stacked on top of each other. he was staring, in particular, at a bear with a huge belly and messed up fur— as if someone had taken a comb and brushed it out in the craziest directions... and then beat it up... and then dragged it on the floor... and then kicked it underneath a shelf.
"it's so ugly but, is— is it weird that i want it? i feel so bad. it must feel so lonely and left out, don't you think so, corpse?"
corpse chuckles at the personification of the cheap object in response. he was currently trying to calm his breathing, already feeling out of place despite them going for a quick run to the store at 11 o'clock in the night.
it was corpse's fault, honestly. sykkuno had gotten ready to grab some snacks from the store after realizing his roommates had eaten his stash — and instead of letting him go, corpse had insisted on tagging along, not wanting sykkuno to be alone.
now, he wanted to run away from everyone no matter how small the crowd was, and the only thing keeping him from doing so was focusing on the ball of endearing energy walking beside him.
which was a strange thing in itself, actually, because he'd always assumed sykkuno would be timid and quiet when going to public places. right now, however, he seemed to be the embodiment of chill confidence. or maybe it was because he was comfortable beside corpse.
"help me name him!" sykkuno continues, nudging closer to corpse as they begin to walk to the checkout aisle.
"surely you're not actually buying him." corpse huffs out another small laugh of disbelief as he squints his eyes at the poor stuffed bear. "it's like... on markdown, too."
"even more of a reason for me to get him, he's cheaper!" sykkuno beams. corpse resists the urge to groan, knowing that there was no reason for the streamer to worry too much about the price with his steady flow of money recently. as they wait in line, he opens his mouth to say just that... until sykkuno rests his head against corpse's shoulder and tilts his head up to meet his gaze. corpse has to hold his breath in order to prevent himself from commenting on just how cute sykkuno's rounded, excited eyes looked just now.
"usually i name things myself," sykkuno informs, eyes scrunched in pretty crescent shapes. "but i want to make it extra special because i'm with you! so what should his name be?"
corpse feels his cheeks flush, and he's thankful they're both wearing masks so sykkuno doesn't have to see it. "how about uh— honestly, maybe we should— how does this sound, uh—i think—"
oh god. only sykkuno could induce him to a mess. he was absolutely butchering his sentences like some kind of schoolboy desperately trying to gain the attention of his crush. he almost considers stopping altogether, but sykkuno was watching him with so much patience and attentiveness, waiting for him to properly complete his sentence without an ounce of ridicule in his gaze, that he pushes ahead anyway.
"d-death... is his... name."
there's a small moment of bewildered quiet.
and then sykkuno is throwing his head back in a burst of boisterous and shocked laughter, his hand raising to cover his mouth instinctively even though he was wearing a mask. his shoulders shake as he tries to calm down, but the sound of his unfiltered merriment is enough to make corpse feel more accomplished and endeared than humiliated.
"s-sorry! i- i can't! what even— what was that?" sykkuno gets out through broken giggles, his eyes scrunching adorably.
corpse groans, lightly shoving sykkuno in a fit of annoyance even though he wasn't so bothered. "leave me alone."
eventually, with sykkuno breathlessly chuckling under his mask every occasional second, they fall into a comfortable silence. they step forward a bit as the next person goes to occupy an available checkout before the streamer turns to his side again, voice soft and gentle.
"you doing okay so far, corpse?"
corpse swallows thickly, nodding his affirmation after processing the fact that sykkuno had easily seen through his mask — quite literally — to determine he was reaching his limit. "yeah, just uh— hanging in there."
sykkuno hums, his gaze flickering to corpse's face kindly before staring straight out at the line that was slowly beginning to wane. "that's good, we're nearly done, yeah?"
"yeah." corpse breathes out in repetition, nerves still a mess regardless of how intense.
sykkuno nods with another hum, although his brows were just slightly crinkled in the middle. corpse looks away and exhales deeply through his nose. once. twice.
his concentration on evening out his breathing is interrupted when he suddenly feels something soft and warm enclose itself around his hand. stiffening from the unfamiliar contact, corpse glances downwards and instantly feels heat travel to his cheeks once more in realization.
sykkuno was holding his hand.
and oh god, how did this man even come to the decision of interlocking their fingers, and how was he acting so fucking casual and unbothered, as if the action was merely an afterthought. a habit.
corpse feels his breath hitch (definitely not in a bad way) when the soft hand around his flips around and... what the fuck, sykkuno was now playing with the rings on his fingers, an action he clearly found more entertaining than waiting in the line and just talking to corpse.
it made corpse's heart rate speed up and a pleasant tingle of sensation course through his body all the same.
"did i ever tell you that you have really nice hands, corpse?"
holy fuck.
"uh— no. not... not until now." the faceless streamer shakes his head, watching how intently sykkuno seemed to be concentrating, unaware of his effect. he knew oftentimes sykkuno would get distracted by the littlest of things while they streamed, whether it be because of chat or an irrelevant feature on a game— but to see him do so in real life, with his fucking hands nonetheless was both endearing and difficult... like was he trying to kill corpse with his oblivious actions?!?!
corpse has to physically hold his breath every time sykkuno would make an 'eh' noise whenever he tried to twist a ring and place it onto a new finger.
"look, your finger size is so much larger than mine." sykkuno comments offhandedly, demonstrating as he takes a ring from corpse's middle finger and slips it onto his own. the ring hangs loosely, and corpse swallows thickly at the contrast of his jewelry on sykkuno's delicately long and thin fingers.
before corpse can say anything, however, sykkuno was finally letting go, realizing it was his turn to step forward and pay for his stuffed bear.
"i'm uh, i'm gonna stand there?" corpse clears his throat and points to the wall several feet away from the crowded and cramped area.
sykkuno hums with understanding, voicing a reassuring, 'i'll be quick, don't you worry!' as corpse quickly takes a deep breath and tries to get into a more open and less congested spot.
finally making it out, corpse leans his body against the wall and begins to scroll through his phone, checking up on his social media in an attempt to distract himself from panicking now that he was far away from sykkuno.
he quickly manages to find a couple of interesting posts and effectively loses himself in the distraction of a small and pink hairless cat blinking up at the camera innocently.
he's so inattentive at this point, that two minutes later when there's a harsh sound of glass shattering, he's absolutely caught off guard. his head snaps up at the sound of a booming shout, posture straightening in alarm.
assessing the situation, he can see three unfamiliar people by the self-checkout he'd last left sykkuno at:
a young woman who was cowering and shaking in fear with an arm around a small boy, an angry man trying to size them up, and sykkuno, standing in the middle of it all.
"get out of my goddamn business! that little bastard broke what i paid for!" the man snarls, getting all up into sykkuno's face with his mask pulled down beneath his chin in a fit of rage.
"first of all, please back up." sykkuno voices lowly, staring up at the man blankly, brows knitting together with the slightest irritation.
the man scoffs heavily, and the streamer visibly grimaces at the action. "i ain't leaving until they pay me back for all this shit!"
"they're both not responsible for your items." sykkuno simply reasons calmly as the woman pulls the boy tighter to her frame. "you dropped them all on your own because you weren't watching where you were going, it's as simple as that."
"please, let us go, my son didn't do anything." the woman stammers nervously.
"shut your goddamn mouth, you fucking bitch!" the man screams, lurching forward and ripping the little boy away from her grasp.
it all happens in slow motion:
the woman letting out a screech, sykkuno's widening eyes, the boy stumbling with a terrified shriek as his body falls toward the floor,
his little hand grazing right against the edge of a piece of glass,
and then there's nothing.
it's just silent. the air is so dense and suffocating that it essentially feels wrong to do anything else but hold your breath.
sykkuno's brows slowly furrow into an expressionless form of disbelief.
enraged wasn't even the right word to describe him.
'he's so angry that he's quiet at first, but you can tell he's not backing down'
the sound of a whimper is what disrupts the reticence of the room. time returning back to its conventional speed, the shocked whine is quick to turn into a full-on wail as the cut on the little boy's hand begins to seep with droplets of blood. corpse felt frozen in his spot like his mind and body were two separate things. his body was buzzing with anxiety from being outside and then... sykkuno... was this really happening?
'his brain is so overcome with incredulity and anger that it doesn't care for any rationality'
sykkuno slowly turns, eyes narrowing into a dangerously slitted glower, steadily darkening with fury.
his head tilting up to glare at the man, eyes flashing, sykkuno's voice comes out as a low murmur. "what the fuck did you just do?"
in response, the man spits onto sykkuno's shoes.
'and then he just... explodes'
before anyone can process what's happened, sykkuno had surged forward, completely catching the man off guard that slamming his back against the small checkout counter conveyor belt is almost too easy.
then there's an overwhelming flurry of movement. like the young woman lurching forward to reach her child. the employees of the store scrambling to call authorities and get someone to come help. customers trying to get away in hopes to avoid getting in the middle.
and there was sykkuno, eyes dark and hooded, grasping the collar of the man's shirt tightly enough to leave marks of irritation on his skin.
"you motherfucker, what kind of sick, pathetic asshole do you have to be to feel threatened by a child?! and then you spit on me like some rabid dog?!" the words undeviatingly fly out of sykkuno's mouth as he pulls back an arm to swing. "i'll rip your fucking throat out, you son of a bitch!"
that was all it took before corpse had snapped out of his horrified trance and reeled forward, reaching sykkuno in just a matter of five large strides. he barely manages to get the streamer off just as two big security guards seize onto the other feral man who'd already been punched twice.
"sykkuno," corpse had wheezed out, yanking him away and out of the store as fast as he possibly could. "fuck!"
when they finally reached the car, corpse was swift to unlock and open the side door instead of the front so that they could both climb into the back seats.
dragging the male inside, corpse slams the door shut and leans his head back, his eyes clenching shut as he tries to catch his breath and calm himself enough to fight off an anxiety attack.
not right now, please, no. sykkuno needs help.
nerves buzzing, corpse gasps as he tries to remind himself that although he wasn't home, at least he was in the car, isolated from anyone else. it was hard to swallow and even harder to inhale deep gushes of air.
almost like his head was muffled in water, he vaguely hears a frantic voice and a click somewhere in the background, but he was too far down in the oncoming waves of oversensitivity to focus on it.
corpse manages slowly but surely, trying to talk himself out of it with the rest of his remaining rationality.
if i calm down, i can tend to sykkuno.
after a whole minute of getting his breathing under decent control, corpse finally sits up straighter and turns to fully face the male beside him.
instead, he finds the car door open, and sykkuno gone.
corpse groans in helpless frustration.
panic instantly flaring through his chest, corpse shoots up in his seat, scrambling to find the male anywhere near the vicinity of the car. cursing, he exits from the door and climbs out, head whipping back and forth until he finally spots a familiar figure in a white hoodie and black joggers.
corpse peeks over the older's shoulder to find the young woman and child from earlier standing before them. the little boy bounces on his heels, cradling his hand that was now bandaged.
he jogs over, hands trembling as he tries to calm his panicked breathing, just barely catching onto the conversation currently going on as the young woman steps forward a bit, her hands resting upon the boy's shoulders. "— you don't understand how terrified i was for both me and my son. when you came, you really saved us."
"o-oh, it was nothing." sykkuno stammers, his hand instinctively raising to run at the back of his neck. "i just reacted and did what anyone would. but thank you and um... i'm glad you felt a little safer."
sensing a presence behind him, sykkuno turns, slightly wincing at the sight of corpse, body going rigid.
the faceless streamer doesn't say anything, only stares at him quietly, waiting for him to finish his conversation.
"i didn't need stitches!" a small voice exclaims, and everyone's attention shifts to the child.
"really?" sykkuno hums in surprise as he turns away from corpse's weighed gaze, his head tilting to the side. "that's so great! i was really worried about you. i'm sorry you got hurt. but you're— you're so strong!"
"yeah, i'm all okay." the boy nods, chest puffing out a bit proudly at the praise.
"again, thank you so much." the woman says softly, and sykkuno's gaze flickers upward, his eyes becoming pretty crescents, an indicator he was smiling. "no need to thank me." he reiterates.
"well, we better get going." she finally settles on saying, and sykkuno nods, straightening.
"i'm really glad you're both alright. especially you!" sykkuno hums to the small boy.
"winston!"
"ah, winston," sykkuno repeats carefully. "you're a brave boy, huh?"
"yeah!" the small boy giggles before gasping, as if remembering something. he pauses for another moment before pulling something out from behind his back, holding it out for all to see.
"here's your bear!"
corpse watches as sykkuno's eyes light up instantly, and a surprised laugh leaves his lips as his hands go to reach for the stuffed toy. "oh my god, thank you so much! i forgot all about this guy!"
"you're welcome!"
corpse leans back on the heels of his feet, eyes shifting between the two figures and sykkuno as they speak for just several more seconds. he exhales deeply, still feeling a bit overwhelmed and uneasy. and honestly, at this point, he couldn't tell if it was because of his panic from earlier or his absolute concern for sykkuno right now.
he couldn't believe what he had just witnessed, the events not fully processing in his head. for the several months he'd spent slowly building his relationship (and well, flirting like fucking crazy) with sykkuno through streams and now a couple times in person— he'd always wanted to know what it was for the streamer to get heated.
this was not what he meant.
corpse wasn't sure what the next course of action was. should he have a long talk with sykkuno? should he tell toast and the others? or were they going to act as if nothing had happened?
the last idea didn't sit well with him. he wasn't going to do that.
corpse bites the inside of his cheek. he felt so lost and overwhelmed. a part of him had felt a small ounce of pride seeing sykkuno defend the two strangers so fiercely, and the way the profanity had shot out of his mouth with so much firmness was something other-worldly. but the aftermath of the situation that had yet to happen felt like calm before a storm. he didn't know how to deal with situations like these, he could barely even care for himself.
when the woman and boy finally take their leave, sykkuno slowly turns, his brows furrowed and fingers wringing together.
"corpse, i—" sykkuno's voice catches at the last second, and he swallows thickly instead. "are you okay?"
"me?" corpse gets out lowly after a slight pause, not exactly sure why he was being questioned after what had just occurred. "i don't know, sykkuno. are you?"
a small moment of silence falls between them, and sykkuno exhales, his posture curling into himself more and more. corpse feels his chest pang. why did he seem so desperate to get away from him? "i'm gonna get back into the driver's seat."
before he can take a single step, corpse stops him. "wait, sykkuno." he tries. "can we... can we talk about—"
"talk about what?" sykkuno interrupts, beginning to walk again.
"you... you completely..."
corpse stops when he realizes the figure ahead of him was not stopping. something about the way the streamer was blatantly ignoring him causes a flare of irritation to spark in his tone.
"sykkuno."
the streamer falters in step at the sudden sternness.
"corpse," he says a bit quieter. "let's just get home first, okay?"
"no."
"please." sykkuno tries again, turning around to stare at corpse, his voice cracking and resolve weakening.
at the sound of breaking vulnerability, corpse finds any and all thoughts of rationale come to a standstill, demanding demeanor vanishing. they both stand there, all movements halted as they stared at each other. corpse's jaw clenches slightly, and he couldn't tell of it was out of absolute frustration or because the streetlight from above them was shining so prettily against sykkuno's features.
exhaling, corpse catches the way sykkuno's hands were trembling at his sides and decides not to push it. how could he, with sykkuno requesting something from him like that? with sykkuno desperately looking at him like that?
"fine." corpse finally caves in lowly. "but i'm driving."
"no you're not." sykkuno huffs out in disbelief. "it's so dark and you just—"
"— i can do it ." corpse firmly intercepts any sort of argument sykkuno is about to make. it was fine. he was fine to drive now. he could do it.
sykkuno looks at him skeptically with concern, but he grits his teeth and turns away, not turning around as he tosses the keys behind him, a clinking noise sounding when it hits against corpse's rings as he catches it.
"pull over and switch with me if you think you need to stop."
—
it was a little past midnight. corpse knew toast had set a curfew for the members of the house. but he didn't realize how absolutely deadass he was about it until after they'd entered the door and barely gotten through before they found the male standing there, arms crossed.
"do you guys realize what time it— what the shit is that?" is the first thing that leaves toast's mouth as the two streamers stop, failing to make their way upstairs unnoticed. "sykkuno?"
"it's my bear." sykkuno lifts the beaten down plush toy slightly as he tries to push past the male, corpse only two steps behind him.
sykkuno yelps in surprise when toast grabs his wrist, eyes narrowing. "don't play dumb, you know what i'm talking about."
corpse stands still, waiting to see what sykkuno will do as toast's ever-observant gaze takes over him and darkens at the sight of fresh bruises forming upon the male's knuckles, too noticeable to hide.
"there was a situation. i dealt with it." sykkuno mutters.
"oh, was there?" toast huffs out, brows raised in disbelief.
when sykkuno doesn't answer, toast grows silent.
"c'mere." he eventually mutters, pulling sykkuno forward so that he's looking him right in the eyes, murmuring something so quiet that corpse is unable to hear... but it must be something effective because sykkuno doesn't resist as toast draws him near.
corpse bites the inside of his cheek.
the two stare at each other, gazes heavy with toast still gripping sykkuno's wrist.
corpse feels something irate twist in his chest as the silence stretches out, neither of the two males looking uncomfortable or bothered by their close proximity. he opens his mouth to ask what's going on until he realizes something. they weren't having some sort of stare-down.
they were communicating.
corpse finds himself having to look away.
why was he so bothered? they were friends long before he came into the picture, of course they'd have a better connection and way of reading each other. but did it have to seem so intimate? did it have to look so intense?
toast's grip on sykkuno's wrist tightens for one more split second before finally loosening up enough that he lets go, and sykkuno's arm drops weightlessly to his side.
"fine, go."
"thank you." sykkuno whispers blandly before pushing past.
corpse lingers, feeling toast's gaze flicker over to him. "so you saw."
"i... i did." corpse gets out after a moment's pause.
even though toast seemed to already have figured it out, (if that fucking telepathic session was anything to go by— okay, sorry, corpse was a little on edge) hearing verbal confirmation seemed even worse. toast goes rigid, eyes drawing shut tightly as he exhales.
"he's gonna be in his room for hours."
"i'll wait with him."
toast bites the inside of his cheek. "you do realize he's not gonna wanna talk at all." he states, "especially not to you."
"what." corpse deadpans, a hint of ice slipping through. "the fuck do you mean by that?"
toast stares at corpse for a sold thirty seconds before exhaling deeply, hands raising upward to rub at his face in a form of slight distress and incredulous laughter.
"fucking hell. look, corpse, don't take this personally, okay? relax. what i mean is that sykkuno... he's feeling shitty right now, and something tells me he's blaming himself and feeling extremely guilty."
"guilty of what?" corpse gets out when toast doesn't continue.
"he didn't even look in your direction the second i saw you guys get out of the car." toast responds, his arms crossing again. "so you tell me, corpse. why is he feeling so guilty he can't even stay beside you? and are you going to talk it out with him, or am i going to have to go in there myself, which, i would've done if you weren't here anyway, let me make that clear."
corpse is silent, pondering over the question but he finds his concern for sykkuno more overwhelming than taking the time to think this through. he just needed to be near him right now, and the thought of toast having to comfort sykkuno rather than him made his chest twist unfamiliarly. regardless of how unprepared and inexperienced he was, regardless of how much of a messed up option he may be at the moment, he selfishly couldn't bring himself to stay away.
"okay." corpse states slowly. he hesitates for another second before exhaling a breath of air. "i'm gonna head up there."
toast nods like he expected nothing different and he allows for the tall male to pass by him. corpse swallows thickly, shaking his head as if to rid his thoughts. why was his reaction so off the wall? it felt like he had been sizing himself up against toast and even lost his cool from feeling so defensive all of a sudden. it was so out of character for him to do so.
corpse wants to knock on the door out of respect but decides against it. with a deep breath, he tries the doorknob, and is surprised when he is met with no resistance, the knob turns as easily as a knife sinking through warm butter.
"sy?" corpse whispers, stepping into the dark room, the only source of light being the soft illumination of the moonlight seeping through the cracks of the window.
corpse has to strain his ears past the soft whirring of the fan and occasional rustle of curtains to hear it.
a soft sniffle.
hyper aware of the painful sound, corpse walks forward as his vision adjusts enough to make out a lump on the bed. slowly, with the gentleness of a hand trying to get a strand of string through the tiny eye of a needle, corpse lowers himself upon the mattress, the bed sheets rustling at the dip of his weight.
he could see the streamer a bit clearer now. sykkuno was wrapped in a blanket, eyes staring off at the wall blankly.
"sykkuno." corpse tries softly again, and it isn't until he's placed a hand on the streamer's shoulder that he feels the he was shaking.
"i'm really sorry." a soft voice utters. "i- i messed up."
"you what?" corpse questions in confusion, reaching forward to tug the blanket a little away from the streamer's chin. his gaze flickers downward. "sykkuno."
sykkuno's hands were violently trembling, but at the sound of his name, his eyes instantly begin to water. lips wobbling, a hand unconsciously raises to cover his mouth before he suddenly croaks out a quiet, "o-oh god."
and when he leans forward to instinctively cover his face, shoulders beginning to shake, corpse instantly feels his chest twist.
at that moment, corpse assuredly understood why everyone hadn't wanted him to witness sykkuno in this state.
because it was fucking heartbreaking to watch.
corpse hated it.
"hey, hey," corpse tries to soothe, not sure if touching him was the right call or not. he was realizing right then and there that he was in absolutely unfamiliar territory, but goddammit, toast had entrusted him to console sykkuno, and he wasn't going to go back downstairs without trying. "you're okay now. don't cry, please. sykkuno, hey. please look at me."
sykkuno hiccups, his breathing irregular as he tries to calm his crying. he shakes his head, letting out a sound of wounded frustration.
gritting his teeth, corpse decisively moves forward and gathers the quivering male into his arms as tightly as he could, shielding sykkuno from threats that weren't even there anymore as he tries to shush him.
"s-sorry" he hiccups again, and corpse shakes his head in disbelief at the change in his character, back to being apologetic.
"you did nothing wrong." he responds.
"no, look, i just... shouldn't have done that. i shouldn't have—my h-hand, i punched his—and when you—"
sykkuno gasps in pain when corpse grabs his hand, a thumb lightly grazing over the streamer's knuckles, inspecting it. "maybe we can wrap it. does it hurt a lot?"
sniveling, sykkuno shakes his head. "not really. jus' stings." he croaks. "corpse, i'm sorry that i—"
"i should have stepped in sooner." corpse interrupts guiltily, cutting the male off. he didn't even know why they were being so quiet. it's not like anyone else was in the room or able to hear them. a nervous wreck, the words fly out of his mouth. "i was just watching and— and i didn't even realize what was happening, that guy was— he was such an asshole and then, holy shit, you just slammed him onto the— and now you're trying to apologize for punching him when—"
"no, i'm... corpse, stop talking for just one second... i'm not sorry about that fucker." sykkuno finally gets out firmly, and corpse feels a ripple of shock in his body at the casual use of the curse despite hearing worse earlier. it was such a strange image for a filthy word to leave sykkuno's lips when his eyes were glassy and rounded with guilt and purity. "i'm sorry to you."
"m-me?" corpse stammers.
"because i... corpse, you're shaking." corpse feels his breath stutter when sykkuno slowly turns around so that they're both facing each other.
sykkuno raises one hand to gently cup corpse's face. he hesitates for another moment before carefully using his other hand to gently thread his fingers through corpse's thick curly hair in an attempt to soothe him.
he was shaking? he didn't remember when that had started or why he hadn't noticed til now.
"i knew you were already dreading the fact that we had to stop by the store, and you were getting pretty uneasy so i tried to be quick but then i... you must've been so anxious, and now i feel like this all turned to me when it should've been about you. i feel really bad, corpse."
"sykkuno," corpse breathes out, just so, so, confused. "you're worried about me?"
"stop acting like that." sykkuno's voice trembles, his hands stilling. he removes his hands, and corpse instantly feels the loss as sykkuno ducks his head into the pillow to hide his face again. "i didn't help you when you were panicking. i knew you weren't okay and i left you anyway, but i- i shouldn't have corpse. i'm so sorry, you have every right to be mad at me, i'm so so sorry."
corpse laughs breathlessly in shock. "are you kidding, sykkuno?" he gets out. "don't feel bad, alright?"
"n-no," sykkuno cries out into the pillow, muffled. "it really wasn't okay, and i'm really sorry."
realizing that his words were not really doing a good job at convincing the male, corpse tries to backtrack. he reaches out a hand to rub against sykkuno's back.
"hey, look. i'm okay now that you are." corpse answers honestly, "my anxiety, it happens a lot, okay? and i, i thought about you, you know? to stave it off. so don't feel bad. what happened today for you, i think it was much worse."
"don't compare the two, you should've been my first priority. a conversation with that woman and her child c-could've waited a few more minutes." sykkuno admonishes, both corpse and himself. his hands were shaking despite its tight grip on the pillow and corpse stops rubbing the streamer's back to try and grasp the hands into his own to calm him.
"i understand, okay? he was a child and i'm a grown man. dealing with these things myself is something i've been doing for a really, really, long time. so i think it's fine you went to him. and besides, you're here in front of me now, letting me know how sorry you feel. you think i'll ever be mad when i can see how much you obviously care?" corpse feels his cheeks burn when sykkuno pauses before finally peeking out from where he'd been hiding his face.
he simply stares at corpse intensely with doubt, eyelashes dark and delicate from how they were clumping together because of his wet tears and nose a soft shade of rosy pink. so pretty.
"sy." corpse blurts out in a breathless whisper of awe before he can stop himself.
sykkuno huffs out a small wobbly sound of bewilderment when corpse doesn't continue. "what?"
corpse opens his mouth to voice his thoughts, but he feels his cheeks become dangerously hot from underneath his mask out of timidity. he settles for shaking his head.
deciding not to question it (as sykkuno usually does whenever corpse would turn into an embarrassingly stammering mess on streams) sykkuno slowly lets go of the pillow. sniveling, he scoots up and leans forward to tiredly rest his forehead against the faceless streamer's shoulder, a hand reaching to tangle itself into corpse's messy curls.
they sit like that in ample silence, with sykkuno's occasional shuddering breaths accompanying the white noise. corpse closes his eyes, trying to inhale sykkuno's faint scent and savor the feel of nails gently scraping at his scalp. the action and proximity are enough to somehow ease his nerves.
eventually, much to corpse's disappointment, sykkuno pulls back.
sykkuno clears his throat, eyes still a watery pink as he reaches up to wipe away the last of his tears.
"he brought the bear back." sykkuno pouts, and corpse feels his breath catch at the image of his lower lip lusciously jutting out, eyes rounded and cheeks shiny.
corpse chuckles, nodding as he feels his gaze soften from sykkuno's appreciation. he reaches upward to swipe his sleeve under the streamer's eyes and the apples of his cheeks. sykkuno's eyes flutter closed as his tears are swiped away to prevent the wetness from drying and becoming sticky.
"dammit," corpse gently hums. "i was— i was kinda hoping you'd forget about it." he finally answers amusingly, deciding to play along.
"hey!" sykkuno huffs out a small laugh of disbelief as his eyes snap open again. "i know he looks rough, okay? but i'll, no— we'll give him a makeover and everything."
"a makeover, huh? like what, give it— him — some rings and black clothes to wear?" corpse teases with a hum, chuckling when sykkuno raises a hand to cover his confused grin.
"w-well if uh- if that's what'll make you happy, then sure!"
corpse loses it at the cute comment, his throaty sounding laughter erupting and making the streamer before him curl into himself shyly, not sure if the younger male was laughing with or at him.
"sy," corpse eventually breathes out after several seconds, his eyes drooping with fondness.
"yes?" sykkuno's head tilts in confusion at the sudden tone of his name. his cheeks puff out as he fills them with air and his eyes scrunch, waiting for a response.
a small corner of corpse's lips twitches upward slightly, but he doesn't move.
he just... studies sykkuno's soft features, his eyes trailing around his face so excruciatingly slow.
corpse's's mind was whirring, aching for something, and when he looked at sykkuno's delicate face he couldn't help but let his gaze shift toward the soft pink flesh, he couldn't help but want to lean closer and fulfill what his body was itching to get a taste of.
it was so unfamiliar. when had he ever looked at someone like this and just wanted to take? just wanted to get near and allow for the warm dangerous desire in the deep curl of his gut to absolutely erupt with flames?
he was realizing, at that very moment, just how much he liked sykkuno, and that in itself was so terrifying, alarming, and exhilarating. and it drove him crazy how he couldn't seem to figure out when it had happened or why exactly he couldn't keep away from sykkuno for too long. suddenly feeling vulnerable and so, so hesitant, corpse finds himself holding back.
sykkuno's head tilts a bit as he observes the male before him heedfully. corpse looked like he was lost in his own thoughts, contemplating and fighting a battle only he was able to hear. a battle he seemed to be losing.
corpse swallows thickly, deep in his mind, contemplating, contemplating, contemplating.
and finally, dangerously slow, corpse reaches for his mask with nimble fingers, and he watches with absolute nervousness as sykkuno's eyes widen in realization as he carefully begins to pull it downward.
sykkuno squeaks, alarmed and understandably freaking out as his gaze begins to capture the hidden part of corpse he's never so easily given the privilege for others to see.
"o-oh my gosh, c-corpse! corpse!" he lets out a noise of bewilderment as his eyes rapidly swing back and forth, not sure what to do with his gaze, not sure if it was okay to stare and take it all in. "wha—what are you... corpse!"
his tiny blabbering is cut off when corpse has finally lowered the mask beneath his chin, a twitch of a smile spread across his lips as he reaches for sykkuno, fingers settling against his waist to pull him closer.
the two stare at each other for a long time, and sykkuno eventually stops struggling and relaxes hesitantly, lips parting open in awe as his eyes carefully trail over each detail of corpse's face.
corpse does the same. he starts from the streamer's hair— tousled and wispy bangs splayed across his forehead, to his beautifully carved eyes, the cute lilt of his round nose, and his prettily parted lips that were timidly curving upward into a nervous smile. so pretty. so, so, pretty.
corpse swallows, his throat dry as he slowly leans forward, enough for their breaths to mingle together.
"corpse?" sykkuno whispers, the warm air from his mouth softly brushing against the side of his cheek. such a weird sensation, when corpse was so used to the cloth covering half of his face for so long it was almost like a second skin.
"i... i want... is it okay if i—" corpse trails off, his breath stuttering, insides churning with an overwhelming sense of want and distress.
what if he was the only one feeling like this? he felt like he couldn't breathe and he was so aware of sykkuno's presence despite how dark it was in the room. it was as if he could close his eyes and still identify where each feature on sykkuno's face was located. maybe he'd be able to tell if the streamer was smiling just by feeling it, too.
corpse exhales shakily, his head beginning to feel a little light from teetering on the edge of losing his confidence. his hands shake slightly as its grip around sykkuno's shirt loosens, his resolve weakening. corpse pulls back slightly.
he couldn't do it.
he didn't have it in him to take that first step, and it was destroying him.
he wasn't doing it.
... which is why, when corpse feels a pair of warm lips softly capture and encase against his own without warning, his eyes round, body stiffening in pure surprise.
then, approximately half a second later, corpse's eyes flutter closed and he melts into the kiss sykkuno had initiated with absolute relief.
sykkuno moves slowly at first, his hands carefully caressing corpse's cheeks, thumbs grazing against the smooth skin as he patiently guides their lips to move unhurriedly. gently. steadily.
there's a faint ringing in corpse's ears, his vision becoming a hot and blurry white, overwhelming his senses enough that not a single comprehensible thought crosses his mind.
he can feel the butterflies in his stomach exploding into an enrapturing flow of pleasantness, his heart greatly picking up in speed, and his body subconsciously pressing into the warmth of sykkuno's torso. sykkuno's lips were curling against his so tenderly that when he finally draws away, corpse's breaths are falteringly shallow.
corpse cautiously opens his eyes, only to discover that sykkuno's were still closed, brows furrowed.
"sykkuno?" corpse rasps shakily, his nerves buzzing with so much fire but also a lurking sense of worry and tension.
sykkuno's own eyes flutter open at the frail whisper, his heart stuttering when he catches the slight sting of panic flashing through corpse's expression because of his lack of response.
"hey, hey, what's that face for? nothing's wrong," sykkuno breaths out a small laugh, lips curling upward as he runs a thumb across corpse's cheek. "i was just thinking, is all."
"sorry... about what?" corpse questions, feeling vulnerable and shy all of a sudden.
sykkuno grins this time. "you," he hums gently. "you just seemed so nervous, corpse, i wasn't sure if this is what you wanted. but you didn't push me away so i guess it was. that was too cute."
corpse's insides bristle at the comment. "c-cute?"
"cute." sykkuno nods, voice fond and teasing. he leans forward and pecks the younger's lips again, pulling away before it can deepen. "you're really cute."
"no i'm not." he argues back, and corpse doesn't even realize how much of a complaining whine it sounded like until after sykkuno bursts into laughter.
"good ol' corpse," his smile completely uncovered since his hands were already preoccupied with holding corpse's face. "the scary, terrifying, dark corpse is actually just an adorable little puppy." he drawls.
biting the inside of his cheek, corpse takes one last look at the triumphant smirk on sykkuno's expression before leaning forward to end all teasing by capturing his lips into a demanding kiss. his insides burn with satisfaction when the streamer lets out a noise of surprise but otherwise allows for corpse to take control.
this time corpse puts more weight into the kiss, and he takes advantage of sykkuno's gasp and parted lips to effectively deepen it. he feels pleasant tingles erupting all over his scalp when sykkuno carefully tangles his fingers into his thick curly hair once more, giving it soft tugs that evoke a low noise from deep in his throat.
eventually, nerves buzzing and confidence returning, he slows down his pace and gives the streamer one last peck.
"toast looked like he was going to murder me earlier." corpse huskily comments, too shy to bask in sykkuno's full attention so he tries to direct a conversation when he finally pulls away from the streamer, allowing for him to breathe.
sykkuno snorts breathlessly. "no he didn't. you looked like you wanted to murder him."
"i did not!"
"you definitely did." sykkuno sings gently, absentmindedly turning away to reach for his teddy bear he'd neglected on the edge of his nightstand.
"i just—" corpse shakes his head. "sykkuno," he tries again. "were you... were you really only upset because of me?"
sykkuno's smile falters, and he shrugs slowly. "yeah. i felt really bad, corpse. i felt really responsible for what happened."
"don't be." he firmly responds, eyes raking over the male. he's quiet for another moment before his brows furrow. "sykkuno, you... you called that guy a motherfucker. a-and a pathetic asshole. and a son of a bitch. i think you called him a dog, too. and then fucker just several minutes ago. holy... holy shit."
sykkuno squeaks, covering his face at the reminder. "jesus! h-how do you even remember— i got it, corpse, i know, okay?"
"no, no. i uh— i liked it." corpse clarifies, reaching out to pull sykkuno's hands and the god awful teddy bear away from his face. "i can't believe i witnessed that."
"well, i'm not a baby." sykkuno huffs, fingers tightening around corpse's hands. "i cuss. sometimes. and that dude was screwed in the head."
"you also slammed him on the counter. and punched him so hard twice, what the fuck."
sykkuno is quiet, cheeks burning with embarrassment, before he finally looks up, meeting corpse's gaze with his own leveled one.
"yeah, and i was really trying to rip his throat out too." he drones. "too bad you stopped me."
corpse lets out choked noise of shock, except the second he sees the telling twitch of sykkuno's lips curling upward, he erupts into fits of both laughter and throaty wheezes. "holy fuck—" he coughs, "o-oh my fucking—"
"it was a joke! uh- a joke! joke! just a joke!" sykkuno sputters, torn between defending himself and quieting down the almost hysterical male. "shh! you're loud! toast will come and kill us!" he whisper-yells, fighting off his own flustered blush at the same time.
"okay, okay. okay, i'm cool. i'm cool now." corpse gets out, trying to rid the rest of his giggles. "s-sorry."
sykkuno shakes his head, gaze flitting over to the door to make sure no one was coming before looking back over the male before him. his eyes light up again in sudden remembrance.
"oh! you know i finally thought of a name for this little guy?"
"you did?"
"yeah." sykkuno nods, eyes blinking in contentment. "winnie."
"winnie? like winnie the pooh?" corpse questions, brows knitting together.
"no!" sykkuno huffs, disappointed the male hadn't gotten it the first time. "it's from that boy, corpse! his name was winston, remember? therefore, this bear is now, winnie."
"... the pooh."
corpse yelps as the soft plushy is suddenly whirling down onto his face. "okay! okay! i'm sorry—" he laughs, trying to duck away from sykkuno's attacks. "just winnie! he's just winnie!"
"anything is better than your awful idea earlier. what was it, death?" sykkuno counters. "you suck ass at naming things."
corpse bursts into a deep fit of surprised laughter at the word as sykkuno jostles at him with a groan, burying his face underneath a sleeve in annoyance.
"shut up, we're trying to sleep!"
sykkuno yelps in surprise, reaching over to smack a hand over corpse's mouth in an attempt to muffle his deep voice. "i told you they'd get mad!" sykkuno whisper-yells scoldingly.
sykkuno listens carefully for any other comments or footsteps, but thankfully, no one comes up.
corpse's lopsided grin softens after gazing at sykkuno for a lingering moment, and he smoothly stretches out until he can encircle an arm around the streamer's middle.
"we should sleep too then." corpse whispers softly.
"we? no, go sleep on the couch." sykkuno pouts.
"if i leave this room, toast will murder me." corpse gasps, "you wouldn't do that to me, right?"
"... i suppose so." sykkuno slowly gives in, exhaling softly.
"great." corpse hums. "i'll try to sleep, and tomorrow, we can dress up winnie the pooh."
"are you kidding me?! you know what, get out, c—"
before sykkuno can smack him again, corpse was already pulling the streamer closer to cut off his hushed complaints into a searing kiss.
and when sykkuno's flailing arms slowly settle against his chest, corpse can't help but feel his lips curl upward into a smile.
he knew that along with sykkuno, they would have a lot of explaining to do with toast about the fight from earlier, and then corpse and sykkuno were also going to have to sit down and discuss whatever was going on between them in thorough detail...
but for right now, he was unbelievably content, and he allows himself to throw away his doubts and built-up walls for once in his life to let sykkuno wholeheartedly enter.
as long as he didn't have to witness sykkuno cry like he just had ever again, he hoped to see more of this casual fiery side of sykkuno.
he knew they were going to be okay.