Work Text:
So one of my readers suggested to write a post-war sequel to my other fic Don't let go and I was more than happy to deliver! You can read it as a second part to the previous fic or as a one-shot, it's up to you! So enjoy and all of the comments and kudos are much appreciated <3
She wasn't sure why did she come back here. Was it a closure she needed so desperately? To find any kind of sense in this madness? To justify all the violence that happened here just a few hours ago? Everyone else was gone, all of her friends left either to celebrate the victory or to mourn the people they lost. Some of them she saw sitting in the pubs, in silence, a haunted look in their not seeing eyes when they would slowly drink their beers, each one of them lost in their own thoughts. She could have joined them, any of them, she could have sat down with her own beer, not say a single thing and just raise her cup, in silent respect to those who gave up their lives for the cause.
But she couldn't.
She couldn't explain that feeling, couldn't justify her behavior, but the thought of being with the rest of them was almost repulsive to her. She wandered off, her legs carrying her absentmindedly further and further away until she was in Hogwarts again, the silent walls welcoming her, even now, even marked with so much death, so much pain, so much violence...
It was finally over.
The fight, the killing, the pain, the struggle, the fear – it was all over.
But at what cost?
Hermione passed the hallways, slowly, her steps echoing from the walls, the rubble creaking slightly under her feet with her every step. There was part of her thinking there will be someone here, maybe another survivor, trying to cope just like her; maybe other wizards, cleaning up the broken stones; maybe the healers, treating the wounds of those who were still alive; maybe those silent groups who were taking care of the bodies of the dead, carrying them from the battlefield, with a promise to deliver to the families.
But to her surprise, the whole place was empty, almost hauntingly empty and Hermione wrapped her arms around herself when a sudden shiver came down her spine. Was it fear? Fear that something or someone can still jump at her, fear that there is another wizard hiding behind the corner, in the shadows, ready to throw a spell at her? Or maybe it was just pain at the memory of how much they have all lost, this pain of loss still fresh, when barely a few hours ago she was fighting for her school, she was fighting for her friends, for her life, so the world would still be the same place as it always was? She took a deep breath, clenching her fingers around her wand so hard that her knuckles became completely white. But no matter how much paranoid she felt, no matter how many thoughts in her head were telling her to just leave, to get out of here, she just had to stay, she had to say one final goodbye. She turned into another corridor, her eyes scanning the walls on both sides, walls which not so long ago were being her home, her safe place, bringing nothing but comfort, safeness, joy. But now? Now they were filled with pain, with death, with tragedy and loss, from home turning into just a bunch of stones, now marked with too much suffering. Another turn, another corridor, her legs carrying her through the well-known paths she had crossed so many times before, and soon she was in the courtyard, the sound of her steps now muffled by the grass under her feet.
How many times she was sitting here, a book in her hand, warm wind in her hair, when she was squinting her eyes from the sudden sun rays blinding her, her lips lifting in a smile when she was capable of finding one moment of peace, of serenity in this small place. But now? The trees were fallen, the sun hid behind the thick clouds and the air around her was still when she could not hear a single sound, except for her own breathing.
Hermione took a deep breath, but instead of fresh air she had craved so much, she could just taste the odor of death, this heaviness, emptiness now filling her lungs, bringing everything but the relief she needed so desperately. She tried few more times, her shaky breaths filling the air until the world around started to blur before her eyes. For a moment this feeling of panic clenched her heart once again, the first thought telling her that she was being cursed just right now, until she felt something wet on her cheek and she realized that it wasn't a curse, it wasn't even a spell. But just her tears. Tears, that had started to stream down her face, two rivers that refused to stop their flow, falling and falling and falling.
She cried over the lost youth, all those years she skipped when she had to grow up, in just a few days, few weeks, few months, from a teenager becoming an adult, with no chance of going back; she cried over her friends, those she had lost and those who survived, their lives never meant to be the same as they once were; she cried with relief, knowing that in the end, they have won, that in the end, they saved the world, that maybe with time all the pain will disappear when she will keep on reminding herself that it was all in the name of a greater good, that it wasn't all in vain; she cried and cried, tears refusing to stop streaming, when she felt like she was pouring all of her heart out, all of her emotions escaping from her body in that very moment, the dam she kept closed for so long finally opened.
And s uddenly she felt it.
The pair of hands on her shoulders, their touch gentle, hesitant, almost shy when someone's fingers clenched around her skin. Her first instinct was to run, to free herself from this unknown grip, and just take off, running as far as she could. Her muscles tensed, her feet moving just so slightly, getting ready to run, her heart beating hard, fast, the adrenaline already circling in her veins, but then familiar scent filled her nostrils, and once again she felt tears gathering in her eyes.
It was him.
He smelled just like he always did, the mixture of cologne, sandalwood, and something else, something earthy that was always there, his scent being the only pleasant smell in this stench of death around them. Her body relaxed and he must have sensed it because his hands moved, from her shoulders, down her arms, the trail of his palms slow, gentle, almost like he was expecting her to run away any moment. He stopped, somewhere at the height of her elbows and after what felt like forever he finally moved his hands again, this time wrapping his arms around her, tightly, hugging her body to his, her back against his chest when he pressed his cheek to the top of her head.
She knew that it was impossible, after all, she saw him leaving just a few hours ago with her own eyes, she saw his reluctant steps towards their enemy and she knew that she couldn't blame him, that he didn't have any other choice and that she had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt. She could still remember the saltness of tears on her lips when there were streaming down her cheeks, the pain of not being able to say goodbye, the regret of never admitting to what she was feeling, the emptiness in her heart when she knew she will never see him ever again.
But now he was here, his strong and comforting arms around her, his body surprisingly warm, pressed against her in a tight hug, his head pleasantly heavy against hers. For a split second, she almost managed to convince herself that it was all a cruel trick, an image either her brain or someone else has planted into her mind. But on the other hand... It was all too familiar, too comforting to be just a magical trick.
He could feel her trembling in his arms, her body still tensed, almost like she was afraid of giving in, of leaning into him, afraid of letting him take care of her just like she once did, a long time ago. He squeezed her a bit stronger, trying to tell her that it was okay, that he was here for her and wasn't planning on going anywhere. Not again.
„You aren't supposed to be here.” Her voice was so silent, so weak, just barely a whisper when she spoke those few words, that for a moment he thought it was only his imagination.
„Neither are you.” He said silently, against her hair.
„No, I meant... You left.”
He took a sharp breath, almost like her words hurt him physically. And in a way they did. Because just a few hours ago he was the biggest coward and he made a choice that he will never forgive himself for. A choice that at that moment seemed like the only one he has.
But it wasn't.
He was an idiot, a hopeless fool who realized a little bit too late that it was never his only choice, that through all this time he could have always taken a different path, maybe more difficult, maybe harder, more painful, but a path that would lead him to her. Because he needed all this pain to realize that she was always his other choice.
A better choice.
„But I came back.” He said after a few moments.
If she'd turned around and looked in his eyes, she would see nothing but pain and sadness there, emotions he still didn't truly learn to hide, especially not when he was with her. The silence between them stretched, lasting seconds, minutes and just when he was about to let go of her, when he was ready to admit his defeat, admit that he had lost and came back too late, he heard her wand falling to the ground and soon he felt her hands reaching out to his arms, placing on them, her shoulders finally relaxing when she leaned into him.
It was all the invitation he needed. Gently, he let go of her, just to grab her arms moments later, and spun her around, making her face him. She let him, her body suddenly being unresponsive to the orders of her mind, just a rag doll when she allowed him to do whatever he wanted. And then he was hugging her again. She reacted almost instinctively, her arms wrapping around his waist, her face buried in his chest, his scent stronger now when she breathed it in deeply, her head suddenly spinning at this sudden closeness. She could feel his hands on her back, moving up and down, drawing comforting circles there, before closing her in his embrace, tightly, almost desperately, his cheek nuzzling against the top of her head, his mouth whispering something, yet his voice too silent for her to understand what he was saying.
But it wasn't important. What was important was his body next to hers, his warmth, his scent, the pleasant shiver going down her spine when he kissed the top of her head, a gesture so gentle, so innocent, so caring that even against herself she felt corners of her lips twitching slightly, threatening to raise in a smile.
Because it was just like it was always supposed to be. Her petite body fitting perfectly into his tall frame; the crook of his neck being almost made for her head; the warmth of his body bringing her such a comfort like nothing else ever could. She wasn't sure for how long they stayed that way, her hands clenching around his sweater, clinging to him almost like a drowning person holding onto the lifebuoy, refusing to ever let him go and his own hands, not being able to stay still, softly wandering across her back, her arms, her shoulders, dipping into her hair just to slide down again, brushing the skin on her neck and going lower to go back up again moments ago.
But there was still once a question she wanted to ask him, a question she needed to ask. She straightened her back, trying to distance herself from him and he let her go, but just so barely, her body still locked into his embrace, when he refused to fully release her. She blinked once, twice, getting rid of the last of the tears and she finally looked up at him, their eyes meeting together.
She knew it was him, she knew it since the moment his hands wrapped around her body, but knowing and seeing with her own eyes were two different things. If it's possible his skin was even paler than usual, his eyes suddenly lacking color, their familiar blueness replaced by greyish shades, almost like all of the life was sucked away from him. She blinked one more time, a sudden sting of pain in her chest at the sight of dark shadows under his eyes, the indication of many, way too many sleepless nights when worries and stress took their tolls on him. And suddenly she was taken back in time, just one year ago, to the forgotten bathroom, to the moment so different, but at the same time so similar to this. Him, equally tired and broken as he was now and her hands wrapped around his body, doing anything she could in her power to give him comfort, even if just for a moment. Just like he did the same thing for her now.
They were different people now, people who have seen too much, lived through too much, suffered way too much. But no matter how much they have both changed, she still felt the same about him, the same worry, pain at the sight of him, when she wanted nothing more but to see him smile again. She took in his dark clothes, his messy hair, the corners of his lips turned down, but not in a sneer, no , not anymore. It was the look of someone tired, the weight on his shoulders way too much.
She reached out to him, her hand shaking when she placed her palm on his cheek, her fingers brushing his skin there, her thumb caressing. He closed his eyes and for a moment his face softened, his forehead relaxing, when he leaned into her, into her touch, his hands still on her waist, his fingers dipping into her flesh there, almost like she was his anchor, the one he refused to ever let go of.
„Why?” She asked.
It took him a moment to realize what she was asking him, she could see the confusion in his once again opened eyes, until the realization dawned on him. Something else appeared in his eyes, an emotion she couldn't quite decipher, something softer, deeper. The corners of his lips twitched slightly and for a moment he looked at her like she was asking him something that obvious, that it didn't need answering. His answer was just one, short word, but the one his throat suddenly wasn't capable of speaking out loud. Because how could he? How could he bare his soul so much in front of her, how could he admit to being just as weak as the rest of the people, how could he let her in, to see him, the real him, when it was someone he despised so much?
„You know why.” It was his turn to whisper, when he looked away, unable to stand her piercing gaze anymore.
She reached out to him, her other palm placing on his cheek, then gently, yet firmly, she turned his face, ordering him to look at her. Oh, how much he missed the way she always looked at him, the look of her brown eyes so soft, so tender that it always took his breath away. No one ever looked at him that way and he felt his resolve crumbling with every passing second. He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly and Hermione moved her hand, her fingers gently brushing away a few loose hair strands from his forehead.
„Draco...”
His heart made a weird leap inside his chest at the sound of his name on her lips. He could still recall every time she called him that, barely three times, yet the memories of those moments finding a comfortable place inside his mind and refusing to ever disappear. He loved the way it sounded on her lips, the name suddenly softer, more gentle when she spoke it. And this time there was a hidden plea behind it, an innocent question, a tender ask to let her in, just one more time.
Yet he didn't answer her. Instead, it was his turn to grab her face into his hands, his fingers cool against her heated from crying skin, his thumb brushing away a non-existing something from her cheek. He took a step towards her, coming even closer, their chests colliding now when his eyes bore into hers. He leaned down, his lips pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, an apology for all the pain he has brought upon her, a silent 'sorry' for not being there for her when she needed him the most. His mouth hovered over her skin for a moment, until he moved, another kiss pressed to her cheek, this time saying 'thank you', showing gratitude for her not pushing him away, for giving him hope, something to live for, even if she wasn't aware of all of that. Her heart stopped for a moment in her chest when he placed another kiss right in the corner of her mouth, a silent promise that he will never leave her again, that he will stand by her side no matter what, the sweetest pledge that from now on she forever and always will be his first choice. And then he froze, for a few seconds they were just standing in front of each other, their breaths mixing, their noses touching when he seemed to be giving her a way out of it, a chance to escape. Or maybe he was just questioning himself, wondering if this was a good idea. Her eyes were closed, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted just so slightly, in anticipation, waiting for him to do more. His thumb brushed the skin on her cheek one more time and then his mouth finally covered her lips, this kiss being the answer to the question she asked him moments ago. He poured all of his emotions into this one kiss, his lips moving gently against her, his hands cradling her face into his tender grip, his fingers caressing the skin on her cheeks.
She was embarrassed to admit that, but she could still remember their first kiss, the one they shared a year ago, the memory of his lips against hers still vivid not only in her mind but even on her mouth, when sometimes she swore she could feel this weird tingling on her skin, her fingers touching her lips and remembering the feeling of his hungry kisses. But now? Now it was happening again but this time it was all... different.
Back then they were still trying to figure out their emotions, the feelings still fresh, still new, still confusing when they couldn't deny this weird attraction between them, but at the same time being scared of fully admitting it. So when they finally kissed it was to satisfy this hunger inside of them, it was to finally try and know how their lips tasted and fit together, it was to silence the craving and hopefully move on, forgetting about each other.
Not that it ever happened.
But now? Right now they were different, changed, more certain about their feelings, not afraid of them anymore. Today they were two people, who missed each other too much, who needed each other too much, who wanted all the comfort they could take from another person's presence.
So he took his time, with no rush at all pressing kiss after kiss to her lips, each of them slow, prolonged, full of longing, when he wanted nothing more but to enjoy this moment, to enjoy her, in his arms. She could feel all the tension in her body finally disappearing under his touch, every muscle relaxing, and without thinking she reached out to him, her arms wrapping around his neck when she pulled him even closer to her. His lips fitting with hers perfectly, almost like two halves made for each other when he was kissing her again and again and again. It was like he never meant to stop, wanting to make up for all of the time they have lost. She wasn't sure for how long they stayed that way, wrapped in each other embrace, their hands clenching onto each other's clothes, their lips meeting in kisses until they were left breathless.
With eyes still closed she parted from him, their foreheads touching, his warm, quickened breath tingling her skin.
„ I like the way my name sounds on your lips...” He whispered and Hermione smiled, the first full smile on her face today.
"I think I've already heard that somewhere..." She thoughtfully tapped her pointing finger against her lower lip, pretending to be thinking hard and this time it was his turn to smile.
“Smartass...” He murmured, hiding his face into her hair, his warm breath tingling the skin on her ear, eliciting a delicious shiver on her back.
“I also heard that somewhere...” He snorted against her skin with amusement and the sound of it, so carefree, so pure moved something deep inside her.
Small crinkles appeared in the corners of his eyes when he smiled at her, his hands reaching out to grab hers. He closed her palms in his, lifting them to his mouth, his lips gently brushing the skin when he started to kiss her knuckles, each one of them separately, almost tormentingly slowly when he wanted to enjoy this moment as long as he could.
"Draco..." Her voice was once again a whisper when her treacherous vocal cords failed her once again.
She wanted to tell him so much, but at the same time, she couldn't think of any words that would express everything that was going on inside her head. So she let his name linger in the silence between them, but it seemed like he understood, knowing himself just how hard was naming all of this that was happening right now as well.
“Let's get out of here?” He asked, pressing one last kiss to the top of her hand, his eyes coming back to her once again.
She nodded and picked up her wand from the ground, her gaze moving across the courtyard they were standing in the middle of. Suddenly the sky wasn't that grey as it was moments ago, the dust and dirt of rubble almost non-existing, and this overwhelming odor was finally gone when he grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently, his fingers lacing with hers. He was like the sun, rising from behind dark clouds after the rain, his presence being like warm sun rays, waking up something that she thought was gone forever.
She looked down at their joined hands and smiled to herself, the feeling much stronger with every step they were taking, leaving all of the pain, death, and fear behind them.
Hope.
He brought her hope.
Hope, that maybe tomorrow wasn't lost for them at all.