Chapter Text
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"I'll be fine, Yachi, thank you," Yamaguchi smiled in the shorter manager's direction, slipping his arms through the sleeves of his jacket and adjusting the scarf around his neck. "I'll be back in a bit. I just need to... Clear my head, I guess. You know... The loss, it's..."
"Oh..." Yachi frowned, glancing around. "Everyone's asleep, are you sure you don't want to wait until tomorrow morning?"
"I'm sure," he nodded. "Will you cover for me? If anyone wakes up? Just say I went to the bathroom or something."
"W-What?! How long will you be gone?!" Yachi grabbed his arm nervously, glancing around like someone would hear them. "You shouldn't go alone! I'll go wake up Tsukishima, okay?! I'll be right b━"
"No!" Yamaguchi whisper-yelled. "Don't get Tsukki! Look," he sighed. "I need to do this. To clear my head before we go home, alright? You're the only one who knows, and I'll have my phone on the whole time. It's on seventy-nine percent, the battery is fine enough that if you get too worried, you can call me. If I don't answer, then tell Coach or Takeda-sensei. Just... Don't wake the others up."
Yachi bit her lip, nodding hesitantly. "Promise?"
"You're one of my best friends besides Tsukki and the other first years," Yamaguchi chuckled. "I promise I'm not lying to you."
"I don't get how you're not scared to go out there on your own!" she shivered, and Yamaguchi could tell what she was thinking just by the look on her face as it faded from her normal skin tone to a sickly pale.
Yamaguchi shrugged, a bit disheartened. "I guess I'm too upset to be nervous this time," he said. "I really thought we'd get farther, you know? We were so close, but Kamomedai..."
"Yeah," Yachi frowned, looking like she was about to cry again. "Okay, you can go. But if you're not back soon, I'm going to call you! And if you don't answer, I'm assuming the worst!"
"Thanks, Yachi. I owe you one."
"Be careful, alright?"
"I will," Yamaguchi smiled.
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The January air bit at the skin of Yamaguchi's cheeks as he stepped outside the Jaybird Inn. City lights and sounds and smells overwhelmed him as they had every time that him and his team had been outside since they'd arrived in the busier parts of Tokyo. He had no idea where anything was outside of their hotel, since most of the time they traveled by bus and he'd either been sleeping or scrolling through social media on his phone and he hadn't paid attention, but Yamaguchi didn't really care where he was going, neither did he care how far he went.
Of course, all of Karasuno was taking the loss hard. Hinata felt horrible that he'd collapsed midway into the second set, insisted that he was fine enough to keep playing though it was obvious to them after his collapse that they'd all missed the signs of the absolute exhaustion that led to his fever. Yamaguchi also felt guilty, since he and Hinata had spent a lot of time together since they'd arrived in Tokyo and he hadn't suspected a thing. Not the increasingly darkening circles beneath his eyes, the lines of stress growing on his forehead, the few times he'd zoned out for minutes at a time, none of it.
They were scheduled to leave the next morning, the coaches nice enough to grant them an extra night to accept that they'd lost before they were sent back home to Miyagi to go back to nothing but unfeeling apologies from people who had no idea how they felt about losing the match. How guilty the first and second years felt that they couldn't keep their third years on the court until the end.
Yamaguchi adjusted his scarf again. The cold January winds had blown it out of place, and Yamaguchi lifted it back up to cover the lower half of his face to try and block out some of the freezing air.
Living in Miyagi his whole life, Tokyo was a completely different scene than he was used to. All of the bright lights shining through the city at all hours of the day and through the nights, compared to the simple streetlights and maybe a convenience store sign here and there from his hometown, it was a bit of a shock to Yamaguchi's senses. He'd gone on walks before after losses back home, short and calm and quiet save the sounds of what small things lurked in the shadows like owls or stray cats, sometimes the sound of the winds whistling through trees. But in Tokyo, it was bustling and busy at all times. Laughter from groups of friends on a night out, cars honking in traffic, it was a totally different atmosphere than what he was used to.
Sure, he'd been to Tokyo before, but only for a training camp at Shinzen High, where they stayed for the entirety of the time and never left. Yamaguchi didn't really like to count that as a visit to the big city.
He glanced upward into the inky darkness of the night, seeing barely a quarter of the stars he would have seen were he back home in Miyagi. A shame, the stars had always been a source of comfort for Yamaguchi when he was down. He'd always loved the stars. Bright little dots of white spotting a canvas of dark, navy blue. They were a mesmerizing source of distraction for him in times when he was overwhelmed, whether it be from the loss of a game like this one, or some other stressor in his life, he always relied on the stars.
Yamaguchi should have known that looking upward while he was walking was a bad idea, but his brain was too muddled with guilt over the game that he hadn't been paying as much attention as he should have. He walked right into another person, feeling his head spin from the impact while he'd been looking upward instead of forward and hearing the grunt of surprise from the person.
An hand reached out to grab his bicep as he lost his balance, his heels scrambling for purchase on the sidewalk. Yamaguchi sighed in relief that he hadn't gone plummeting to the concrete, and he looked to his savior with a thankful gaze, opening his mouth to apologize for his lack of attention before pausing at the recognition of the person he'd walked into.
Miya Osamu stared at him with tired eyes, his hand clutching a white bag of takeout food that had been slightly crushed at the impact, and Yamaguchi found himself stuttering out a late apology. "S-Sorry, Miya-san. I should have been paying attention. I-Is that your dinner? I'm so sorry, I can pay to get you new food, how much was━"
"It's fine," Yamaguchi's efforts were waved off. "Karasuno's pinch server, right? Number twelve."
"Yeah... That's me. You remember?"
"My brother dragged me to yer game yesterday against the cats," Osamu nodded. "Ya did good out there. And in today's match, too."
"T-Thanks," Yamaguchi rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed at the unexpected, random praise. "You were really awesome in our game the other day, too, Miya-san."
Osamu gave a small smile and nodded in thanks, before he sighed through his nose and shoved one of his hands in his jacket pocket to get out his phone as it pinged, his face falling into a frown once more before he clicked the power button and put it back in his pocket.
Yamaguchi took a closer look at Osamu. Throughout their game against one another, when he had observed from the sidelines and watched the Miya twins together as the rest of their team had, he noticed that while the other always supported an excited grin or frustrated grimace when they won or lost points, Osamu's face normally remained pretty neutral and somewhat bored unless his brother had said or done something annoying. His face now was somewhat the same as it had been throughout most of the times Yamaguchi had seen him before, except now it seemed more down. Somewhat forlorn, even.
He was hesitant to ask, considering that they didn't know each other all that well and were from different teams that didn't particularly like each other much after their last match ended, but Yamaguchi could practically feel guilt and stress oozing off of Osamu. He could feel it as much as he felt the same emotions from himself.
"Are you alright, Miya-san?"
Osamu looked down at Yamaguchi, the boy being only slightly shorter by give or take four centimeters, and he sighed again. Longer this time, Yamaguchi could hear the distress in it. "No," he said simply. "Not really."
It was quiet for a second, and Yamaguchi wondered why the Miya twin had yet to leave. The crushed bag of food in his hand was probably getting colder the longer he stood outside in the drafts of the January winds, and his cheeks were pinched rosy from the cold. He wore nothing to keep extra warm, just a simple maroon throw hoodie and black sweatpants, and Yamaguchi wondered how in the world Osamu wasn't shivering and chittering like he would have been had he not grabbed his scarf and gloves before he left.
"Do you..." Yamaguchi hesitated, hoping not to overstep any boundaries. "I've heard that it's better to talk to strangers than familiars, because a stranger has no attachment to you like a familiar does. If you want to, you can talk about whatever it is. No offense, Miya-san, but you look like you could use it. It's totally up to you, though! I-I'm not trying to be pushy..."
There was silence after Yamaguchi's offer, and he fiddled nervously with a loose string on the tip of one of his gloved fingers. He could see the contemplative glare in Osamu's eyes, questioning whether or not if he should really indeed do so. Questioning himself or the offer, Yamaguchi couldn't be sure.
A sigh was released, and Osamu nodded his head to the side with a glance at Yamaguchi. A signal to walk alongside him, so they wouldn't be in the way of other passerby anymore.
Yamaguchi scrambled to follow, catching up rather easily. "W-Where are we going?"
Osamu shrugged. "Somewhere quieter. If yer gonna let me talk to ya, I wanna be somewhere quiet."
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If anyone would have told him that his walk to clear his head would end up with him sitting alone on a park bench with Miya Osamu in the middle of the night, Yamaguchi probably would have laughed in their face and told them they were being stupid. But there he was, in exactly that position. Alone on a park bench at half-past midnight with one of the Miya twins, snacking on a crushed onigiri from the bag of food Osamu had been carrying when he bumped into him, since he'd offered to share.
"Have ya ever had a secret, number twelve?"
The question came out of nowhere, and Yamaguchi was startled to hear Osamu's voice after sitting for a bit in silence while they ate. "You can call me Yamaguchi," he said first. "And no, not that I can think of. Have you, Miya-san?"
"...Yeah, I have. I do, and its been stressin' me out. Just call me Osamu, please. Miya-san could be either me or my brother so people just use our first names."
"Osamu, then," Yamaguchi nodded, wiping his hands on a napkin from the food bag after finishing his onigiri. "Does anyone else know the secret, Osamu?"
"Nah. Haven't told anyone yet. Yer the first person to notice somethin' was up, so thanks for that, I guess."
"Ah," Yamaguchi flushed. "Sorry? My best friend is the 'suffer alone with my inner turmoil' kind of guy, so it's kinda hard not to notice sometimes."
Osamu chuckled and leaned back, slumping against the back of the wooden bench and locking his fingers behind his head. "I'm quittin' volleyball after high school. I don't know how to tell Tsumu about it. He won't understand."
Yamaguchi turned to look at Osamu, surprised. The Miya twins were one of the most known duos in high school volleyball throughout the country, so it was shocking to hear that one of them wouldn't continue on after graduating. "Why do you want to quit? If I can ask."
There was a silence after the question. Osamu's eyes closed as he breathed in deep, and Yamaguchi settled back next to him and locked his gaze on the stars above them, deciding against keeping it on Osamu since it could get awkward if he kept staring while he waited for Osamu's answer. He was patient, and Osamu was surprisingly easy to be around even in the quiet of the night by themselves. Normally it would feel awkward between two strangers, but with Osamu's laid back and seemingly non-caring attitude about the situation, it made it easier for Yamaguchi to relax.
"I love volleyball," Osamu finally opened his eyes. "It's fun, I'm good at it, I've got teammates I can rely on, all that good stuff." He paused again. "But it's not what I see myself doin' in my future. Not what I know will make me happy. I want a happy life where I can do somethin' I enjoy, and playin' volleyball until I'm at a retirin' age is somethin' I know won't give me that. Tsumu, yeah, but not me."
"What are you thinking of, then?" Yamaguchi asked him.
No hesitation was in Osamu's voice when he answered. "Somethin' in the food industry. I want to open my own restaurant one day. Tsumu likes to make fun of the fact that I'm always thinkin' of food," he chuckled. "But I've been thinkin' about this for a while now. I'm really good at makin' my own onigiri, I've looked for jobs in our area where I can work and go to business school on the side, and there's plenty of restaurants near where we live that I could work at."
"If it makes you happy, you should go for it," Yamaguchi shrugged. "I honestly don't think I'll stay with volleyball either, but I'm only a first year so I still have time to decide. If you're sure that you want to go into the food industry, then that's what you should do."
"Mm." Osamu hummed. "What've ya thought of besides volleyball? Anythin'?"
"I don't know yet," Yamaguchi sighed.
"Well what do ya like to do besides play? When yer not in practice?"
Yamaguchi couldn't be surprised when his first thoughts after being asked the question were the names of different constellations. Orion, Caelum, Lepus, Taurus. Those were just a few of the ones that he could normally see if he were back home in Miyagi, where there was less light pollution to block the skies, but here in Tokyo he couldn't see more than dusted freckles of light on the dark face of the night.
"The stars," he replied.
The shuffle of Osamu's jacket could be heard as he turned his head toward Yamaguchi. "Ya do the stars? How does that make any sense━"
"No, no," Yamaguchi laughed, waving his hands in front of himself before rewording. "I love the stars. I don't know what it is about them. Maybe it started because of their beauty, maybe it was the stories and myths that our ancestors gave them, I'm not sure. But I've always loved the stars."
"Maybe ya should major in astronomy, then," Osamu tells him. "That's got to do with the stars, right?"
"I've thought about it," Yamaguchi grins. "Tohoku University has a good undergrad astronomy and geophysics course, from what I've heard and seen from online reviews. What about you? Have you checked out any colleges?"
"Nah. I've still got another year. Still gotta figure out how to tell 'Tsumu I'm not going pro with him. It's hard."
"You don't think he'd be supportive?"
Osamu went quiet, and Yamaguchi took his silence as the answer to his question.
"I think..." Osamu started, gaining Yamaguchi's attention again as he looked over at the grey-haired Miya. "I think one day, he could be. But anytime soon, I don't see it happening. His brain circles around one-hundred percent volleyball and stayin' on the court. He'll be mad that I'm quittin'. Probably think I'm abandonin' him. It's how he is. He's overdramatic in that way, always has been."
"I know some guys like that, too," Yamaguchi chuckled. "They're like monsters when it comes to volleyball. I love to play, I love getting better at it and seeing my teammates thrive and win, it's like an adrenaline rush even if I'm just watching from the sidelines. But I could never be like them."
"Me neither," Osamu agrees.
Yamaguchi's phone rings, interrupting their conversation. Yachi's name flits across the screen, and Yamaguchi sighed a laugh. "Sorry, I've gotta pick this up. Our new manager is a worrywart."
Osamu waves it off, laying back against the back of the bench again. "It's fine."
Sliding his thumb over the button, Yamaguchi picks up the call. "Hey, Yachi."
"Where are you?! Are you okay?! You've been gone over an hour!"
"I'm fine, Yachi," he laughs, glancing at Osamu from the corner of his eye. "I just ran into someone and we've been talking. I'm not hurt, I promise. I'll be back soon, okay?"
"How long is soon?! What if Tsukishima wakes up?!"
"He won't wake up, he sleeps like the dead." He glances at his phone screen. "Get some sleep, Yachi, we have to be on the bus in a few hours and I promise when you get up I'll be back and ready to go home. Okay?"
Yachi sighed shakily. "Promise?"
"Promise."
"Okay. I'll see you in the morning?"
"You'll see me in the morning," he confirms. "Goodnight, Yachi."
"Night, Yamaguchi!"
He hung up, chuckling to himself. Yamaguchi glanced over at Osamu again. "Looks like I've gotta get going. Sorry I can't stay any longer. This was... nice."
"Yeah," Osamu agreed. His eyes met Yamaguchi's, and Yamaguchi felt his breath hitch in his throat from the gaze set upon him. "Thanks. For letting me vent. Really, Yamaguchi, thank you."
Yamaguchi smiled. "No problem. I haven't really told anyone about how much I like the stars, either. It's always been something sort of private, and Tsukki is probably the only one who knows, so I guess I can thank you too for being someone I felt comfortable enough with to tell."
"It was only fair, since ya let me unload my secrets on ya."
"Still, thanks, Osamu."
"Yer welcome, Yamaguchi."
"Tadashi," he said. "I feel it's only fair since you said to use your first name, so you can use mine. If we ever run into each other again, that is."
"I'm sure we'll see ya again in next year's Spring Tournament. 'Tsumu's determined to beat yer team now. He wont stop til he does. And with him bein' captain next year, it's gonna be hell."
"Well, then I'll see you next year," Yamaguchi smiles.
"See ya then, Tadashi."
And as Yamaguchi gets up to leave, Osamu calls out to him again. "Good luck with yer manager!"
A loud laugh leaves his throat and he waves back at Osamu before starting his walk back to the Jaybird Inn, hopefully to get at least a little bit of sleep before they have to board the bus in the morning back to Miyagi. And if his thoughts on the walk back were filled with eyes like storm clouds and a certain smooth, bass-like voice, well then that was his own business.