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Xie Lian is happy. More than happy. He is satisfied. There were times when he was homeless before his third ascension, where he felt happy. It was a short lived feeling and it faded away almost as quickly as it struck him, but never once did he ever feel satisfied.
These past couple of weeks, he's felt nothing but satisfied. The first time the feeling hit him, overwhelmed him after a very, very long time was when Hua Cheng came back after that long torturous year. He does not want to let go of this feeling. He does not want to let go of Hua Cheng.
"Gege?" He hears Hua Cheng's soft voice from behind him. Only then does he realize that he had tightened his grip on Hua Cheng's arm. Just as he was thinking about never letting him go. How befitting.
"What is bothering gege?" Hua Cheng all but purrs in a tone sweeter than honey. Xie Lian knows it's something reserved only for him. The best of things, the sweetest of desserts, the prettiest of flowers, the softest of sheets, the fanciest of clothing, the world's finest delicacies, all reserved for Xie Lian. He is satisfied.
"Gege keeps ignoring me," Hua Cheng sniffles, and Xie Lian can almost hear the accompanying pout, but the teasing nature of his words is a little too evident. He pulls Xie Lian closer to his chest and Xie Lian can't help but let out a small chuckle. The greatest of lovers.
"This San Lang is heartbroken. Absolutely inconsolable. To think that the gege he loves and dotes on so dearly, the gege he gives his everything to, that very gege is now ignoring him. How pitiable."
"San Lang," Xie Lian coos, "My poor San Lang. This gege truly has been presumptuous. My apologies. I hope the great Hua Chengzhu has it in him to forgive this insolent fool."
Xie Lian is so very satisfied. Over that past few weeks, he finds himself teasing Hua Cheng back more and more. Hua Cheng's smile only grows bigger every time his God indulges him. As much as he enjoys seeing Xie Lian become a blushing mess, he also enjoys when Xie Lian fights back. Xie Lian knows this and he can't help but satisfy his devotee in every way he can.
"Of course, dianxia will be forgiven. But he must first tell me what was more important than his San Lang that kept him from answering to him," faking a stoic tone, Hua Cheng continues his act of being offended.
Xie Lian can tell now, when Hua Cheng's mood is actually down, and when he's just begging for some attention. Xie Lian knows that in this moment, there is nothing he needs to be worried about. San Lang is here, and he is satisfied. None of them want more than what they have right now. They don't need anything else.
"This gege could never find anything more important than his San Lang. I could look everywhere in all the three realms and still come back empty handed." Hua Cheng lets out a pleased noise that hides fragments of insecurity. They both know the words are sincere. Despite the teasing nature of their conversation, his words are nothing short of the absolute truth.
"Gege,"
"San Lang,"
"Dianxia, talk to me. Really tell me. What was bothering you?"
Xie Lian knows the words got to him. It pinches his heart, how Hua Cheng deflects the topic every time Xie Lian compliments him, or tells him how much he means to him. He knows it means the world to Hua Cheng, but he also knows his worshipper thinks he doesn't deserve it. Xie Lian lets the matter slide for now. Hua Cheng will get used to it soon. He already takes it better than he did when they first entered this relationship. Xie Lian is satisfied with what he has.
"San Lang, nothing was bothering me..." Xie Lian hears Hua Cheng snort when he says this. "It's true though, San Lang. I am so content. How could anything be bothering me?"
"Then what were you thinking about that made you squeeze my arm?" Hua Cheng said, poking at his cheeks, and he lets out a small chuckle.
Xie Lian wants to tell him. He really does. He wants to let him know that he has never been satisfied before. He wants to let him know that here, in his lover's arms, is the only place he will ever be satisfied. He wants to let him know that he will never let Hua Cheng go again. He wants to let him know he likes to be spoiled by Hua Cheng. Instead, he chooses to relish in the moment.
"San Lang, did you know, my mother always told me that before he became King, my father was a hopeless romantic?" Xie Lian knows he isn't fooling anyone. Hua Cheng knows this isn't what he was thinking about. But Hua Cheng also knows that listening to what Xie Lian is telling him now is more important than whatever was drifting through his mind earlier.
"No, gege. Tell me? Maybe I could learn some tricks myself." And Xie Lian does just that. He tells Hua Cheng about stories his mother told him of his father when he was the Crown Prince for the next few hours. Stories that once held a bitter place in his heart. Too painful to think about, too dear to let go.
But Xie Lian is happy now. He is satisfied. There is still some residual ache, still the melancholic reminder of all that he went through, that Hua Cheng went through, but there is also the present. His San Lang makes it so much easier to just think about the very moment they were in, the stinging in his heart was easy to ignore.
And Hua Cheng always listens so attentively. Always like Xie Lians words would be asked in a test in school the next day and he needed to memorize them by heart. How could he not tell him the stories he longed to hear just like a little kid before bedtime?
So he goes on for hours and hours, about his fathers silly little romantic gestures, about his mother's secret crushes before his father, about the games he played with them as a child, about how he saw the world as a naive little toddler. He gets lost somewhere along the way. Somewhere between Hua Cheng's long fingers playing with his hair, and his hand gently massaging his waist, he gets lost in his memories.
When Xie Lian remembers himself, he doesn't even know how long it has been. Hua Cheng shows no sign of exhaustion or boredom, not that he expected him to. It could've been anywhere between thirty minutes to thirty hours, and Hua Cheng would keenly keep listening to him for thirty more.
He feels a light kiss to his head, and it suddenly doesn't matter anymore. Xie Lian is long over feeling like a boring old man when he's with Hua Cheng. He knows they are both satisfied.
"Aah San Lang, I hope I'm not keeping you up with my useless rambling-"
"Nothing of gege's is useless. I would urge you to please continue."
"San Lang~" Xie Lian sighed.
"Of course, if gege is tired, we can sleep. But if gege wishes to tell me more stories of his daunting adventures, I would be more than happy to lend him an ear," Hua Cheng adds before Xie Lian had time to say anything else.
But what could he have said anyway? Xie Lian wants to tell him everything. They have all the time in the world for that, but tonight feels like such a perfect night for these kinds of talks, he couldn't possibly let it go to waste, could he? No, he absolutely couldn't.
"I have so many stories though, San Lang," Xie Lian whispered, barely audible to himself.
"Aah I see how it is. Gege underestimates me," howled Hua Cheng, faking his anger.
"No! This gege couldn't possibly! Mercy! My Lord! Please, Mercy!" Xie Lian laughs into Hua Cheng's biceps. How could he not be satisfied. Not a minute ago, his sadness was gaining on him again, and here he is, laughing without any concern. All because of one Hua Cheng.
"I hope you won’t mind if I drag you to listen to me babble some more, San Lang…"
"I won't."
"If San Lang says so-"
"I very much do."
Just a few words from San Lang and Xie Lian is giggling like a little girl again. He is so very satisfied. He is so satisfied it almost hurts him.
He curls into his lover's arms even more, and Hua Cheng holds him tighter. He hugs the arm under him close to his chest and closes his eyes. Hua Cheng is nothing but patient. He will wait. Xie Lian knows he will. But he doesn't want him to, not anymore, and so he continues.
"Okay, this one is not a kids story, so if you're a weakling, cover your ears now." Xie Lian attempts at a joke, but Hua Cheng understands what it really means. Xie Lian didn't think it would have been possible but Hua Cheng pulls him even closer to his own body. The God's hip resting on one of Hua Cheng's thighs, and his head on the Ghost King's shoulder. Xie Lian knows the entire concept of heaven is bullshit because nothing could ever compare to this. He lets out a soft noise, to convey his emotions, and somehow Hua Cheng comprehends.
"You know… during my second ascension, I…" he begins. As he speaks, Hua Cheng's fingers play with his body. Sometimes curling his hair around his fingers, sometimes massaging his hips, sometimes very slightly dipping under the hem of his robes, parting them away just enough to send chills down his spine, sometimes teasing him shamelessly, making him forget his train of thought. All the while acting like nothing was wrong, that cheeky bastard.
Still, Xie Lian continues, and occasionally, Hua Cheng would either make a sound that would let him know he was still listening, or of his opinion. Sometimes, Hua Cheng will ask him a question that would either result in Xie Lian starting a new story, or Hua Cheng being lightly smacked by him. Sometimes, the questions were entirely hypothetical, and none of them would have the answer to it. Even then, Xie Lian was satisfied.
Not having the answer to something did not bother him at all. How could it? Here, in his beloved's arms, he had everything he ever needed. He felt perfectly satisfied.