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Hawks wants out of the Hero Commission. Being with Izuku has taught him that he deserved better than he had been treated his entire life. He had finally learned what it meant to truly live.
He had more than paid his dues, but the commission believed they were owed everything.
Once upon a time, Hawks may have given it to them. Would have given his life in the name of the commission and their aspirations.
But not now.
Not when he had something- someone to live for.
But the commission didn't have a heart.
They didn't care that their weapon had found some happiness.
But still, they had agreed to release him from his contract- one one condition.
They wanted him to go on one last mission- to infiltrate the League of Villains.
They wanted him to throw away his entire career as a hero, to go so deep undercover that he would become public enemy number one...
He didn't want to do it, but what choice did he have? It was either that, or live the rest of his life within their unrelenting grasp.
He just wanted to live peacefully with Izuku.
If this was how he achieved that, so be it.
He would crash the gates of hell and sit upon that unholy throne if that's what it took.
Anything for Izuku.
He just hoped the hero would take him back after all was said and done. There was no way he could complete this mission while Izuku still loved him. He needed Izuku to hate him. At least for now... He promised himself he would make it up to him after, when he could explain everything- if Izuku would still have him.
God, Hawks hoped with all that he was worth that Izuku would still want him.
"Hey Izuku... I think we should break up."
“What?” Izuku’s voice was soft, eyes wide and bright, tears ready to fall.
He was always such a cry baby… It was one of the things Hawks loved about him, that he was so open with his emotions.
“I-” Hawks swallowed thickly past the lump in his throat, ignoring the painful squeezing of his heart- “I think we should break up.” This was so much easier in his head- he would break up with Izuku, of course there would be tears and anger and yelling, but it would be done. He’d go off, complete his mission, and then come groveling back for forgiveness.
But there was no anger or yelling, only a heartbreakingly softly whispered “Why?” as tears slipped silently down freckled cheeks that Hawks loved to kiss.
Loved to trail kisses along every freckle he could find, Izuku’s laughter sending his heart soaring every time.
God, he missed him already.
“It’s just not working anymore, I think we’re better off separate.” No he didn’t. He didn’t think that. Hawks had never met another person that completed him like Izuku did. Izuku was his other half, and every lie out of his mouth was a dagger in his heart.
“Was it something I did? Did I do something wrong? Kei please!” Izuku grabbed onto his hands, clutching them desperately, as if Hawks would fly away, disappearing in the blink of an eye if he didn’t. “Why are you saying this?”
He wanted to take it all back.
Wanted to tell Izuku that he loved him with his entire soul and that he would never love anyone else- but he couldn’t.
The words rose like bile in the back of his throat and he swallowed them back down ruthlessly.
He had to do this- for both of their sake’s.
“It’s nothing you did,” Hawks pried Izuku’s hands away, standing from the couch, hoping the physical distance would make the words come easier.
He needed Izuku to hate him.
“I just don’t love you-” Hawks would give anything to wipe the image of Izuku’s devastated face from his memory. He could see the exact moment his heart shattered into a billion tiny pieces-“I never did.”
And Hawks’ shattered along with it.