Work Text:
Yeonjun stared at Soobin from across the room. He was studying in the bed across from his; a typical thing for Soobin. He was so smart and hard-working, Yeonjun admired him for it. He was always making strides to be the best he could be, it was amazing. Currently, the boy wasn’t talking to him. Yeonjun definitely deserved it, but the silence was making Yeonjun reminisce Yeojun remembered when he first met Soobin on moving day. Yeonjun was a sophomore and Soobin was a freshman. He found it a bit strange that the school decided his new roommate would be a freshman, but once he met Soobin, he didn't mind at all.
The door opened, and in came the freshman Yeonjun had only texted a few times before this day. He was tall; extremely tall. He had dark hair and was wearing clothes that looked a little too big on him. It amazed him that someone that tall managed to find clothes that were big on him. Yeonjun studied the boy’s face for a minute. He had chubby cheeks adorned with dimples, which made him look adorable. Well, it wasn’t just the cheeks, everything about the boy was adorable. His eyes really caught Yeonjun. Big, bright, and sparkly; He looked so full of energy and hope. Yeonjun smiled at him, which was met by an equally happy smile from the freshman.
Now Soobin was a Sophomore and Yeonjun was a Junior. A whole year has gone by and Yeonjun has never felt anything but admiration and adoration towards the younger across the room. That was, until a few weeks ago when a particular event occurred. They were at a party, one which Soobin hadn’t wanted to go to at all, but seemed to really enjoy once he got there.
“Yeonjun! Come here!” Soobin was yelling from the kitchen. Yeonjun looked across the room from the dance floor and could see Soobin’s blinding red cheeks. Oh no, he had been drinking. Yeonjun knew he shouldn’t have left him with Beomgyu. He started to push through the bodies on the dance floor to make his way to where Soobin had called from. It took him a while because the floor was packed, but when he started shoving people with his shoulder slightly and the process sped up.
Once he reached the kitchen he was able to see just how drunk Soobin was. His face was flushed and he had the goofiest smile on his face. Yeonjun remembers seeing that smile when Soobin tells a cheesy joke that makes everyone groan at how bad it is. It was one of Yeonjun’s favorite things about Soobin, his cheesy jokes. He never failed to make Yeonjun laugh with them even if he was the only one laughing.
“Junnie! There you are!” Soobin ran to him. Well, more like stumbled and engulfed him in a hug. Yeonjun laughed and hugged him back. They were pretty affectionate with each other, so this was a normal occurrence for them. What happened next was less so.
“Junnie, where did you go? I missed you.” Soobin pulled back so he could look Yeonjun in the eyes, but kept his arms around his waist. Yeonjun knew Soobin was drunk, so he went along with whatever was happening.
“You left me! We were sitting on the couch but then Beomgyu stole you away from me,” Yeonjun laughed. Soobin thought for a moment as if he was trying to remember the events that had just recently happened.
“Oh. Well, don’t leave me now.” Soobin smiled wide at Yeonjun and Yeonjun smiled back. Soobin took his arms away from Yeonjun’s waist and grabbed both sides on Yeonjun’s face. Before Yeonjun could process what was happening, Soobin planted a big kiss on the top of his forehead.
Just thinking about what happened made the butterflies come back. He turned away from Soobin, staring at him was becoming too much. Ever since the party, Yeonjun hasn’t been able to process his emotions. Every time Soobin got close to him, touched him, or even called him “Junnie”, his heart started to race. He didn't want to admit it, but there was more to his feelings towards Soobin than he originally thought. It was starting to affect their relationship now. He started being a little cold towards Soobin.
Soobin wrapped his arm around the older on their way out of the dorm room, to which Yeonjun responded by shrugging his arm off. Soobin raised his eyebrow but kept any comments, and his hands, to himself.
Soobin grabbed Yeonjun’s hand when he got excited talking about his grade on his essay one day, and Yeonjun panicked, shaking the other off of him. Yeonjun watched as hurt flashed in the boy’s eyes. Yeonjun instantly regretted his actions.
Yeonjun supposed Soobin’s last straw was what happened two days ago.
Soobin and Yeonjun were sitting on Soobin’s bed, watching a movie on Soobin’s laptop. Yeonjun had purposefully sat as far away from Soobin as he could without bringing too much attention to it. Even though there was a little distance, he still felt the butterflies in his stomach and the tingles in his fingers. This was much different than how they usually watched movies together. Usually, they watched them tangled in each other's limbs and cuddled up under the blankets. Soobin didn't seem to take Yeonjun’s posture into account though, because just as he pressed play, he laid his head on Yeonjun’s chest. Yeonjun tried to not freak out, but then his heart rate picked up and he couldn’t risk Soobin hearing it. He pushed Soobin off in a panic, the laptop landing on the carpeted floor with a muffled thud. There was silence for a second and Soobin stared at Yeonjun, waiting for an explanation. Yeonjun said the first thing that came to his mind.
“ Can’t you take a hint?! I don’t want you touching me anymore! Leave me alone!” Yeonjun yelled. Soobin looked at him in shock. Tears started to prick at Soobin’s eyes and his hands started shaking. It wasn’t just his hands, actually. His whole body started shaking and it shook the bed. Yeonjun had screwed up.
“Soobin, I-” Soobin closed his eyes and shook his head furiously.
“I heard you l-loud and clear, jun-, uh, Yeonjun. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
Soobin got off the bed, tears now flowing down his face, and walked out the room. He didn't even put his shoes on as he walked out, going into the cold hallway in just his socks. Yeonjun felt like garbage.
Yeonjun stared at the wall thinking about what has happened over the past two weeks and how for the past two days, Soobin hadn’t talked to him at all. He had barely been back to the dorm, only coming to sleep and occasionally studying. It was tearing him up. Yeonjun had to be honest to himself, and Soobin. It was killing him, he couldn’t live without Soobin, his best friend. He’d rather Soobin be mad at him for liking him than Soobin thinking Yeonjun hated him.
Yeonjun turned back to face Soobin and sat upon the edge of his bed.
“Soobin.” He didn't budge.
“Soobin, please.” Soobin sighed and put his book down from his face. He closed his eyes for a second before turning to face Yeonjun. Yeonjun stared at him for a second, taking in the puffy eyes and dark circles plastered on Soobin’s face. He looked tired. And sad.
“I’m sorry.”
Soobin scoffed at that, bringing his book back up to his face to continue ignoring him.
“NO! Please! Let me explain myself.” Yeonjun pleaded desperately. There was silence for a second.
“Fine. I’m listening.” Soobin said, the whole time not moving the book from his face. Yeonjun took a deep breath. He had to come clean, it was the only way to fix this.
"Soobin. I'm sorry I’ve been such a jerk lately. I've been going through something I didn't think you would understand. I thought if I pushed you away I could deal with it myself but what I’m doing isn't fair.”
Soobin peeked up from behind his book. The look in his eyes said he was starting to understand, but he still seemed unsure.
"I should tell you what's been bothering me, but it's hard for me. I don't want to mess things up." Yeonjun played with his fingers, anxiety bubbling up in his stomach. Soobin placed his book to the side and moved to the edge of his bed. He sat directly across from Yeonjun, hands in his lap.
"You can tell me anything. You know that." Soobin looked at Yeonjun with compassion and concern, something the smaller didn't think he deserved right now. He took a deep breath. It's now or never.
"I don't know if you remember what happened at the party a while back, but uh…" Yeonjun looked down at the floor, unable to meet Soobin's gaze any longer.
"I think that's when it started." Yeonjun stopped. He didn't know if he could say it now. His heart was racing.
“What started?” Soobin sounded so concerned. He had to tell him.
“That's when I realized I like you."
Soobin went stiff. Yeonjun kept his head down, he didn't want to see the look on his face. He knew whatever happened wouldn't be as bad as making Soobin hate him for nothing.
"You were mean to me… because you like me?" Yeonjun finally looked at Soobin. His face was twisted into a confused expression. When he puts it like that, yeah, it sounds childish. It was childish, but he was scared.
"Yeah?"
A pause, and then it hit him. "It" was a pillow, and “it” hit him right in the face.
"SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS HEARTBROKEN BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!?"
Yeonjun removed the pillow from his face to see a now standing, and fairly angry, Soobin in front of him.
"Please don't hate me."
Yeonjun watched the anger practically melt out of Soobin until all that was left was… pity?
“I don’t hate you, Junnie.” Soobin moved to sit next to Yeonjun on his bed.
“I don’t know, maybe I like you too.” Yeonjun snapped his head in Soobin’s direction.
“What?!” Soobin chuckled.
“I don’t know, after you started being weird I think I realized I might like you too. It hurt me a lot, and I guess it made me realize.”
Yeonjun nodded, trying to contain the smile that threatened to show. This was truly the best-case scenario for Yeonjun. He had hoped that Soobin would at least understand him, but to like him back was far beyond what he could have ever dreamed.
“So… What does this mean?” Yeonjun asked timidly.
“I guess we just see where it goes?” Soobin said, offering Yeonjun a small smile.
“Sure. That sounds good.”