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Lost

Summary:

Hawk Moth is gone and Marinette Dupain-Cheng finds she has lost what matters to her most and is alone. Well not completely alone....

Notes:

This is my first piece posted onto this site. Doesn't really fit cannon but it is a little plot bunny that hopped into my head. I need to get better at creating tags and I am terrible at summaries. Enjoy

Update: I feel like this piece will always continue to evolve as it seems to be story that I keep editing as I feel different emotions. It will continue to change and grow.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Smoke, dust and screams filled the air and fires ringed the city as the war raged on.  Ladybug could no longer remember what she was supposed to be doing, what the endgame was, she was too busy fighting off the akumatized victims who had become more violent as the years went on.  She was tired and filthy, bruised and her body would have broken if she didn’t have Tikki’s help to keep her safe.  They had been fighting for hours and it was beginning to feel like they were not going to survive this.  She had lost sight of Chat Noir during the struggle, losing a piece of her soul and confidence now that he was no longer at her side. Today was the day everything would end one way or another. Today was the day of the final battle.  

It had taken 6 years of daily fights but through hard work, struggle and a lot of luck,  they had finally discovered the identity of Hawk Moth and decided to launch a preemptive attack.  Ladybug had planned everything out, had gathered all of their allies, and prepared.  They would take the miraculous from Hawk Moth today or die trying.  There was one more step that Marinette needed to  take to fully prepare.  One last problem that needed to be solved.

It was Ladybug’s idea to meet the night before the battle, although Chat Noir would have suggested it if she hadn’t.  Over the years, he had become her best friend, her other half, and no matter how many teammates they had acquired over the years, he was still her partner. She needed Chat Noir to know who she really was, to be able to comfort her parents and her friends in case the worst was to come.  Together they stood on their favorite rooftop, the place they had spent so much time together when life was easier, laughing and sharing baked goods as they watched the lights twinkle across the city that they both loved.    

“Chaton,” she whispered, a blush tinting her cheeks, a small smile playing on her lips. “There is something I need to say to you before I reveal myself.” she looked down, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.

Chat Noir lifted her chin up, his eyes filled with love and a hint of sadness. “Don’t look down, M’Lady.  If I am going to die tomorrow I want to spend the time I have left looking into your eyes.”

“Chaton,” she began again.  “Regardless of whatever happens tomorrow, I need you to understand how much I love you.  There is no use pretending anymore.  You are what makes me whole.” She stared at him with such fire in her eyes that he knew she wasn’t just saying this because she was scared or because she knew there was a good likelihood they wouldn’t make it through tomorrow. She really did love him.  Ladybug took both Chat Noirs hands in hers and closed her eyes.  He did the same.  She squeezed his hand and simultaneously both dropped their transformations.

Marinette opened her eyes and in a pure moment of joy and ecstasy, saw Adrien standing in front of her, fire blazing in his eyes.  Ladybug knew that Chat Noir had always been in love with her but right then and there, by the look in his eyes, she knew that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.  Marinette opened her mouth to speak when Adrien rushed forward and kissed her with such passion that an objection she may have been able to voice died in her throat  Pushed up against the wall with her hands running through his hair, she moaned as years of sexual tension came to a head as she tried to pull him closer to her, wrestling with him, turning to touch every part of him.  She remembered leading Adrien back to her room before she gave herself to him completely.  One night in which they gave everything to each other, with no regrets, just love.  The love of two soul mates who had finally found connection with their other half.  Yin and Yang, they were together and they were stronger for it.  He left before dawn the next morning.  Giving her a soft kiss before heading to Nino’s to mentally prepare for the day.  Later when they gathered for the attack, not a word was mentioned of the night before, but a look was passed between the two lovers, not quite ready to share the other with the world.

Ladybug stood overlooking the wreckage that once was Paris, searching for Chat Noir, fighting back the tears of exhaustion and panic that threatened to fall.  She could see her team, her friends, scuffling with the akumatized, all looked dirty and exhausted but it was a minute before you found Chat Noir and her heart sank.

Ladybug had found Chat Noir in the fight of his life with one Hawkmoth.  Frozen in fear,  she watched Chat Noir swing his baton at Hawk Moth who swiped at it like a cat playing with a toy.  Hawkmoth laughed as a sinister grin filled his face.  Chat Noir swung again, this time Hawk moth pulled on the baton, causing Chat Noir to lose his balance.  Hawkmoth swooped around grabbing Chat Noir around the neck as if to embarrass him and held tight.  Ladybug felt like he was a million miles away but in reality it was more like 100 feet.  

Hawkmoth met Ladybugs eyes and laughed again, the assurance of a long awaited victory on his face.

“It’s over Ladybug,” he shouted, enjoying his moment that he had waited so long for, “Give me your miraculous now or the cat dies.” A hush fell over the crowd as everyone, fighters and akumatized alike, stilled. The same as the first time Ladybug had come face to face with Hawkmoth, the world focused on the two of them as if no one else existed.  No one, except for the man whose face was starting to turn blue under the tight grip of Hawkmoth’s arm.  Ladybug saw Chat Noir struggle in HawkMoth’s grip and knew he wouldn’t be able to free himself.  It was the moment she had been dreading, the moment in time when she would have to decide if the life of a friend or lover was worth more than the safety of the world.  She looked at Chat Noir who was shaking his head.  It was her decision to make and Ladybug knew couldn’t lose the love of her life.

Until Chat Noir took the decision from her.

 

Hawkmoth had his focus completely on Ladybug as she moved towards him, her hands slowly making their way towards her earrings.  Ladybug froze as she saw Chat Noir clench his fist.  He locked eyes with her, and in that look she knew that he loved her more than anything in the world and Ladybug knew what he was going to do.

“Adrien, No!” she screamed breaking into a run.

Chat Noir reached up grabbing towards the miraculous pinned to HawkMoth’s chest. And with the last bit of air he had left in his lungs, he screamed. “CATACLYSM!” The resulting explosion threw Ladybug back and then everything went black.



*8 months later*

 

“Marinette” she heard Alya calling her name from  down the hallway and she groaned.  All she wanted to do was lie in bed.  She hadn’t slept well the night before, burdened by the same nightmare as every other night.  There was a light rapping on her door before Alya poked her head in,  “Come on girl, you need to get up.”

“I don’t think I can do it,” she said, pulling the pillow over her face.  “I can’t go.”  Alya moved to sit on the edge of the bed.  Marinette and Alya had rented a small apartment together, still in the area as their friends and family but the two best friends decided they needed more independence than living at home would have allowed.  Besides someone needed to take care of Marinette after all she had given to protect the city.

“They are dedicating Chat Noir’s statue today,” Alya said calmly even though her eyes were already beginning to fill with tears.  “Ladybug has to be there.”

“Then you be Ladybug!” Marinette said through the pillow, refusing to meet the day.  Tikki flew out of her bed and landed on Alya’s knee.  

“Marinette, you will hate yourself if you don’t go,” Tikki squeaked.  “You owe it to Chat and Plagg.”  Marinette sighed and removed the pillow from her face.  Plagg, as well as Noorroo and Dusu hadn’t returned yet.  Tikki explained that while they were immortal sometimes after the death of a holder, the kwamis were thrown into a different timeless dimension until they found their way to the miracle box again.  Tikki assumed because of the Cataclysm, it would take them longer to find their way back, still she was beginning to worry.  Tikki flew up and kissed Marinette on the forehead. 

“I don’t think I can face this.” Marinette said, the tears starting to flow down her face.  “I failed them.” She began to sob openly and Alya sighed.  No convincing from any of their miraculous team could convince her that she hadn’t failed Adrien.  Nino and Chloe regularly were at the apartment with them, just trying to make things feel normal again.  But Marinette suffered.

“Come on, honey,” Alya said softly, “You and I both know this is something you have to do.”  Marinette sighed and pulled the blanket off her and sat up in her bed.

 Alya smiled and moved off the bed so her friend could get up.  Marinette stood and walked over to the full length mirror in the room.  She stared at herself as Alya came up and wrapped her arms around her friend, her hands resting on Marinette’s large and swollen belly. 

“Come on, Marinette, let's take Adrianna to see how they honor her daddy.”

********************************

Being in the park by her parents bakery was unnerving to Marinette.  She didn’t want to be there.  She didn’t want to see the sad looks on the faces of the public, people who she knew and loved, who she had fought to protect.  She knew what they thought of her, raised her onto a pedestal and mourned her tragic romantic love story as if it were their own,  She stood stoically alone.  Her parents or Alya would have stood with her to comfort her but she still after all of this time couldn’t risk her identity being revealed.

She stood in front of the crowd, staring at the statue of Chat Noir, trying desperately not to lose control of her emotions.  Her Ladybug costume had changed in order to accommodate her growing figure, looking closer to a tunic and leggings then the bodysuit she once wore.  She could hear the whispers of the people around her, many pointing at her belly.  

Ladybug had stayed out of the public eye after the downfall of HawkMoth, desperate to avoid the aftermath.  The cataclysm had destroyed everything in the area of the building and there had been no bodies to recover.  Hawkmoth’s or Chat Noirs' identities had never been confirmed and it seemed impossible but no one made the connection between their demise and the disappearance of Gabriel Agreste and his son.  She spent the weeks following the event hidden in her room unable to eat or drink, lost as if half of her had been ripped from her heart, never to be whole again.  It was after she discovered that she was pregnant that she revealed the truth to her parents and Alya.  She was Ladybug and the love of her life, father of her unborn child was dead.

Marinette looked at the statue of her kitty and a small smile played on her lips.  The artist somehow managed to capture his trademark grin, the one that warmed her heart and caused butterflies to fill her stomach.  She was glad they had decided to portray him as his usual carefree self instead of building something more heroic.  This statue meant more to her.  It was her Chaton. She walked closer to the statue, feeling the eyes of the crowd on her as she laid a shaking hand on the piece of art.  A small cry escaped her lips and she felt her legs go weak.  She had to escape before she lost the little bit of control she had.  She pulled her hand back and let the arm drop, not meeting the eyes of anyone around her and walked away.  No one dared to follow.

 

***************************************************************************

 

The following Monday, Marinette was walking home from a doctors appointment.  The doctor had not been happy with how high her blood pressure was and had encouraged her to start walking more in hopes to elevate some of her stress and to prepare for delivery.   Marinette grumbled as she walked home, knowing that simply walking would do nothing to relieve her stress but she had promised the doctor she would give it a try.

She walked along the streets, considering heading to her parent’s bakery in search of a chocolate croissant and a macaron for Tikki.  She hadn’t spoken to her parents after the dedication a few days ago and she knew they were worried about her.  They had been surprisingly understanding of the whole situation.  They were proud of their daughter for the women she had become, the fact that she had been defending Paris on top of everything else she had accomplished didn’t really surprise them too much, in fact it answered a lot of questions about her tendency to be late, the odd noises coming from her bedroom at all hours of the night, and the disappearance of many cookies over the years.  Sabine cried and held her when Marinette told her she was pregnant and Adrien, who was Chat Noir, was the father.  Tom and Sabine had known for a while that Adrien and Marinette were soul mates and she cried for the pain her daughter was experiencing having lost the love of her life at such an early age.  The baby growing in Marinette was a blessing, a gift from the man who she loved.

“Want a cookie Tikki? Marinette whispered, looking down into her bag and gasping.  There sitting next to Tikki was Nooroo.   All thoughts of her parent’s bakery were forgotten as she hurried home, desperate to get back to the miracle box.  

Tikki and Nooroo flew out of her purse as soon as they entered the house, both Kwamis flying around excited to see each other.  

“Nooroo!  When did you get here?  What about Duusu and Plagg?” Marinette asked, scooping up the little kwami.

“I know not about Plagg, master,” Nooroo squeaked, frightened by Marinette’s touch. “But Duusu is still making the journey here.”  Marinette’s heart sank.  She longed for the black cat kwami, to have another piece of her kitty with her.  Nooroo sat shaking in the palm of her hand and Marinette ached for him.  The horrible things this little creature had to endure over the last few years was just too much. She slowly lifted him to her face and gave him a small kiss on top of the head.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said.  “We are just glad you are back. And you certainly don’t need to call me master.” Nooroo smiled and then flew off with Tikki to the miracle box and the rest of their kwami friends.

Marinette sat down on her couch and put her very swollen feet up on the coffee table.  The little creature in her stomach kicked as she ideally rubbed her side and picked up the remote for the television.  Today had been too stressful for the both of them and she just needed to relax.  It was warm in the little room as the sun beat in through a small window. Marinette felt herself start to drift asleep as the TV droned on in the background.

“And in other news, the fashion world was in hysterics today with the return of Adrien Agreses on the runway today.”

Hurt, Anger, Confusion, Hope all filled Marinette in one moment before she convinced herself she must have imagined the announcer due to her sleep deprived state.  She sat up and stared at the tv only to be greeted by images of Paris Fashion Week and the smiling face of Chat Noir.

“Alya!” she screamed before she remembered that her friend was not home from work yet. “Tikki!” she called next before remembering all the kwamis were in the miraculous box.  She sat and stared at the tv as the news moved on to another story,  She just didn’t understand how he could be alive and if he were alive how come he hadn’t come to her?  It must have been an old news story, she tried to convince herself but that didn’t make any sense either.  She needed Alya to help her figure this out.  She couldn’t allow herself to believe that her kitty was alive.  

 

********************************************

 

Two weeks had gone by since Mariette saw Adrien on tv and it had taken two weeks for Alya to arrange a meeting between the model, Alya and Marinette using her press credentials.  Two weeks for Marinette to convince herself that it was a publicity stunt and the model was not the real Adrien Agrests.  But she had to be sure so Marinette and Alya were sitting at a table at a little cafe waiting for the man to show up.  Alya squeezed Marinette’s hand.

“It's going to be ok.” she said. “We will confirm that it is not really him and then we will get on with our lives.” She smiled at Marinette before continuing. “Besides Adrianna will be here soon and then you will always have a piece of him with you again.”

Marinette was due to have the baby in two weeks and knew she needed this business settled with the model pretending to be Adrien before the baby came.  Her body could not handle the stress much longer.

Screams could be heard outside the cafe as a black car pulled up and the model exited the car.  Marinette closed her eyes and held her breath as she heard Alya stand up and led the man to their table. She heard the sounds of chairs being pulled out and then pushed back in.  Marinette slowly opened her eyes.

“Adrien,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.

“Yes,” the man answered with a smile. “Do we know each other?”  Marinette’s eyes grew wide and she couldn’t speak.  She just stared at Adrien.  He began to look uncomfortable and turned to Alya.  “So you wanted to interview me?” Alya had been staring in disbelief and quickly shook herself out of her review.

“Yes, of course,” she said, desperate to figure out what was going on for her friend.  “Well first off, Adrien, your fans have been missing you the last 8 months after your sudden disappearance, so can you tell me where you have been?” 

Adrien smiled and leaned in towards Alya. He nodded towards Marinette.  “Is she ok?”  Marinette still had not moved, frozen in her disbelief.  She knew this man.  Knew him intimately.  He was the other half of her, the thing that made her whole.  And he was acting like he had no idea who she was.  But the thing that proved that this was without a shadow of a doubt that this was Adrien Agreste was the silver ring sitting on his finger.  Chat Noir’s miraculous.

“She’s fine,” Alya lied, trying to get Adrien to continue.

“Well,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck.  Marinette let out a whimper at the move. “I shouldn’t be telling this to the press but I had a nervous breakdown a few months ago and ended up at a resort on a private island to recover.  But if you could keep that to yourself I would be grateful,” he continued flashing his trademark smile.  “According to my publicist I have been meeting with my private tutors and engaging in meditation for my mental health in order to complete my business degree.”  

“And this next question is a little strange, but please humor me,” Alya said, seeing how anxious Marinette was getting, deciding it was time to cut to the chase. “But do you know me?”

Adrien looked at her questioningly before smiling again, “I think I would remember if I had met someone as pretty as you.”  With that Marinette jumped out of her seat and ran out of the cafe.  She ran down the nearest alley and leaned against the wall panting, the tears streaming down her face.  Tikki flew out of her purse.

“Marinette, I felt Plagg!” she said excitedly but froze when she saw Marinette’s face.  “Why are you upset? Adrien’s alive!”

“He doesn’t remember me Tikki!” she cried.  “How can he not remember?” she slid down the wall and continued to cry in the middle of the damp dirty alley surrounded by trash.

“I know it hurts, but isn’t the fact he is alive more important?”  Marinette refused to answer. “Come on Marinette, you are going to make yourself sick.” Tikki tried to pull her up with her little arms but she didn’t even notice.  “This isn’t good for the baby!”

“Hello?” a voice called down the alley.  Marinette felt someone running towards her as Tikki zoomed out of sit.  “Are you ok?” the voice asked, kneeling down next to her.  Marinette lifted her head and saw Adrien looking back at her.

“No,” she answered him weakly, unable to catch her breath from crying. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Before Marinette could answer, a small black creature flew out of Adrien’s pocket. 

“What are we doing now?  I want to eat!” shouted Plagg as Adrien rolled his eyes.  He looked at Marinette again, embarrassment coloring his cheeks.

“Sorry about this,” Adrien began, rubbing the back of his neck again.  “I don’t what to tell you, this little thing has been following me around for months demanding food.  I can’t get rid of him.”

“He’s a kwami,” she whispered. Adrien sat down next to her and looked at her sideways.

“A kwami?”

“Yes, give him cheese, he will be much happier.” she couldn’t look at him, sure she would start crying again if she did. Focusing on the alley wall directly in front of her, she asked the question that had really been bothering her.  “Are you happy?” Because she knew that if he was happy she could live the rest of her pained life constantly, knowing that he was alive.

Adrien opened his mouth, about to answer her question, when a small red comet flew from Marinette’s bag and wrapped itself around the black kwami.

“Plagg, it's you!” Tikki squeaked, squeezing him tightly. 

“Woh, woh, don’t grab the merchandise kid,” Plagg answered, pulling away from Tikki.  Tikki looked back and forth between Plagg, Marinette and Adrien.

“Plagg, don’t you remember me?”

“I think you have me confused with some other immortal being,” he answered.  

“Wait, you have one too?” Adrien looked at Marinette.  Marinette, ignoring his question, stood up and gathered what little strength she had left and faced the blonde man.

“I am sorry, I am not feeling well,” she said, not looking at him.  “It was very nice to meet you.”  She moved to make her way out of the alley when Adrien grabbed her arm.  She looked up at him and saw his eyes on her pregnant belly.

“Please, allow me to take you home,” he offered.  Marinette smiled weakly and shook her head.  “My doctor says I need to walk more.” she turned away from him and began to walk home.  Marinette was so distraught as she walked that she didn’t check to make sure Tikki was with her.

Adrien watched the women leave, feeling a pull towards her that he couldn’t explain.  He was vaguely aware of the creatures arguing behind him.

“How do you not remember me?” the one name Tikki shouted.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” the one called Plagg shrugged.

“What about Chat Noir?”

“Who?”

Tikki screeched in frustration.  “Chat Noir! You are a kwami and you use your powers to change him into Chat Noir!  He’s your kitten!”  Adrien saw that the red bug was pointing at him.

“What are you talking about?” Adrien asked her.

“Plagg,” she said, ignoring the boy.  “Please remember! I need you!”  she yelled again, this time her little eyes brimming with tears. 

“Sorry kid, I’ve got nothing,” Plagg said.  Tikki grabbed him by his little cat shoulders.

“You are so frustrating!” she yelled before pulling him close to her and kissing him.  It was as if by magic the vale was removed from Plagg eyes and he saw her for the first time.

“Tikki?” he said before he grabbed her and shouted her name again.

“What is going on?” Adrien asked, thoroughly confused by everything that had transpired.

“He had forgotten,” Tikki said, still smiling.  “But true love's kiss made him remember.  It’s old magic only works when you are two halves of a whole.”  Adrien rubbed his neck again, uncomfortable with the situation but glad that now he might be rid of the black kwami.

“Well that’s great, so if you don’t mind I’ll be off,” he started to say before Plagg flew to him.

“If I can remember now, how come he can’t?” Plagg asked.  Tikki didn’t have any answer. 

“Maybe he needs to transform first,”

“Transform?” Adrien asked.  “What am I doing talking to bugs anyway? I'm out of here.” 

“You can’t leave!”  Tikki said, pulling on his shirt.  “You have to go to Marinette! We have to figure this out!”

“Who? The Pregnant girl?”

“Oh my god,” said Plagg.  “He doesn’t remember Marinette?  This is bad.”

“You have no idea, Plagg,” Tikki said.  “No idea.”

 

****************************************

Marinette collapsed on her bed sobbing, the baby kicking furiously.  She knew it would be too much to discover the truth and she honestly didn’t know how she would survive this pain.  This hurt worse than thinking he was dead, knowing that he was happy and living his best life without her, loving someone else.  Tikki was wrong, his happiness wasn’t all that mattered.  What about her happiness?

Suddenly there was a pounding on her front door.  She tried to ignore it but the thunderous noise continued.  Marinette dragged herself out of her bed and walked towards the front door, trying to wipe the still lingering tears away as she moved.  

“I’m coming,” she called, hoping the pounding would stop.  She threw open the door and saw Adrien there, panting as if he had run the entire way. “Adrien?”

“I am sorry,” he said trying to catch his breath, “but the two magical annoying bugs said this would explain everything.” Adrien stood up straight and grabbed onto Marinette and pulled her close to him before crashing his lips into hers. What Adrien had intended to be a quick kiss on the lips to quiet the kwamis, turned into a kiss filled with so much longing and passion that time itself felt as if it stopped and the world stopped spinning.  He felt whole and complete for the first time in his life.  Love filled his chest and energy rushed from his fingertips to his toes.  He pulled away from her and saw the look of terror upon her face.

“Adrien,” she whispered.

“M’lady,” he answered with a smile on his face.  It was his lady and he remembered her and every moment of their past.  Every flirt, every pun, every argument and every moment of passion.  He remembered it all.  He searched her eyes for answers to the unanswered questions about his time away but instead he saw pain.  He pulled back and looked at her again with worry.  Marinette gripped tightly to his hands.

“Adrien,” she said again.  “I think my water just broke.”

 

*****************************************

 

Marinette laid in the hospital bed with her daughter asleep in the crib next to her.  Adrien sat beside her clutching one of her hands in both of his, pressing it to his lips.

“You were wonderful,” he said, reaching up and brushing the bangs out of her eyes.  Marinette smiled at him and then closed her eyes, fearing that this moment wasn’t real. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there.  I can’t imagine what you have gone through the past  months.”  He hung his head and started to cry. 

“Shhh,” she said, patting his head.  “It wasn’t your fault.” They still weren’t quite sure what had happened after Chat Noir had performed the Cataclysm but know that Adrien had woken up in a hospital bed with no memory of his past life and Plagg sleeping next to him.  The hospital attendants said a woman had brought him in, refusing to give a name before fleeing.  Adrien and Marinette now assume it was Mayura. 

“You thought I was dead.  I didn’t have to deal with that pain.” Tears fell freely down his face.  “I didn’t have to live without you.  You are so amazing and strong.” She laughed softly.

“I wasn’t living without you, I was existing.” She looked over at the baby.  “My whole existence consisted of your memory and keeping our daughter safe.  She was the piece of your heart you left with me.”

“I promise you, I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

“I am going to hold you to that.” Marinette said with a smile, probably the first real smile she has smiled in almost a year.  “So what should we name her?”

“You haven’t picked a name yet?” Marinette shrugged.

“I had planned on naming her after you, but now there is no need.”  She smiled down at him, love and warmth filled her eyes.  “I have always loved the name Emma.”

Adrien smiled, “Emma is absolutely perfect.”  He leaned over the bed and pressed his forehead against Marinette’s.  “May I kiss you again, m’lady?” 

“You can kiss me anytime you want, kitty.” She smiled as their lips touched.  

“Can we see the kitten yet?” Plagg phased into the room, followed by Tikki.

“Plagg! Give them a minute!” Tikki said but didn’t stop until she landed on her chosen’s shoulder and started nuzzling her neck.

“Can we come in?” Alya asked, poking her head into the room.

“Come on in,” said Marinette.  Alya, Nino and her parents filed into the room, carrying flowers and balloons.  Marinette looked around the room and smiled at her life.  Alya and Nino were looking at Emma, Adrien had left Marinette’s side to hug her mother while her father placed a kiss on her forehead.  One day Ladybug and Chat Noir would search for the truth and figure out what really happened upon the downfall of HawkMoth but for right now, Marinette would enjoy the moment when everything she had  lost had been found.

Notes:

Thank you for taking the time to read this story.