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The Vestiges and the Wrecked Home

Summary:

“Oh come on!”

“That’s mean!”

“I’m sure he can be a very sexy potato if he puts his mind to it!”

Who needs a bulldozer when you've got All Might the Homewrecker but it's the vestiges of One For All

Notes:

:)

Work Text:

“This one right there.” 

“Hisashi, you can’t pick someone just because they look like you.”

 

“Can someone without a Quirk become a hero?”

 

“This one right there.” 

“Nana, you can’t pick someone just because they don’t have a Quirk.”

 

“My body moved on it’s own.”

 

“Okay, maybe he’s a good pick- if Toshinori hasn’t reduced his dream to ashes permanently.”

 

“What’s your name, young man?”

“Ah! I’m Midoriya Izuku!”

 

“This one right there.” 

“Just because you have the same name-’

 

“Oh hey, we’re meeting the mom!”

 

“What. What are they doing? Does he not see the ring? It’s right there, how does he not realise she’s married?!”

“Poor kid looks so embarrassed.”

“Come on, Izuku The Second is right there!”

“Izuku The Second?”

“Since I’m Izuku The First!”

“Wait, is it Izuku The First or Izuku, the First? As in the first wielder?”

“He’s not the first wielder, I am!”

“You murdered every single one of us, you don’t count.”

“I didn’t, I was stuck in the Quirk this whole time. Heck, I’ve been rooting for you guys for the last century and a half!”

“Only a century and a half?”

“I’d be a pretty crappy person if I didn’t root for my own other self for at least fifty years.”

 

“Hey weren’t we supposed to train the kid? Why’s he hanging out with the mom?”

 

“Do you think he forgot?”

 

“Oh hey, the kid!”

“... He doesn’t look very happy.”

“To be fair, it looks like Toshinori spends more time with his mom than he does.”

 

“OH GOD CLOSE YOUR EYES CHILD CLOSE YOUR DAMN EYES!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Too late.”

 

“Is it just me or is that kid more mentally deteriorated every time we see him?”

 

“IT’S TIME IT’S TIME IT’S TIME!”

“YES! Come to papa!”

“Just because he looks like you-”

“Shushhhhhh! They’re doing it!”

 

“Did- did he just leave him alone to try the Quirk?”

“That moron.”

 

“Oh shit I think we’re settled in!”

“WAIT THE KID IS TRYING IT!”

“TOO MUCH POWER! THAT’S TOO MUCH FOR YOUR FRAGILE BONES!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

“He broke his freaking arms!”

“I can’t believe Toshinori didn’t stay just in case! Where did I go wrong with this boy?!”

“How’s he supposed to call an ambulance if his hands are all fucked up!”

“He broke his arms!”

“Was it the training with Torino? Did a concussion go unchecked?”

“He BORKE HIS ARMS!”

“Will you ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP?! I’M TRYING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE AND IT’S A LOT HARDER THAN IT LOOKS LIKE TO USE A PHONE WITH THESE BIG TENDRILS!!!”

“... You’re doing wat.”

 

“The dad’s voice is kind of familiar…”

“You’re two hundred years old, you probably heard a similar one before.”

“... Maybe. it’s hard to tell. His voice sounds kind of muffled over the phone.”

“Now that I think about it you’re right, it does sound kind of familiar.”

 

“We’re one week in and the kid’s barely seen the mom or Toshinori… That’s kind of fucked...”

 

“ATTA BOY! Go ask for help!”

 

“Motherf-”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THE NERVE-!”

“He threw my son out the agency!”

“Again, just because he looks like you doesn’t mean-”

“What’s next, UA accuses him of villainy out of nowhere?”

“DO NOT- Do not jinx it!!!”

 

“Heyyyyy! Dad to the rescue again!”

“Oh my god he’s doing it! He’s using OFA!”

“I knew he could do it!”

“That’s my son!”

“HISASHI STOP HE'S NOT YOUR GODDANG SON!”

 

“Ayyyyyy, look at him go!”

“Wreck those bots!”

“That sounded like ‘wreck those butts’.”

“That too.”

“Look at our little hero, all grown up and kickin’ robot ass.”

“...Are you crying?”

“...no...”

 

“THAT BUFFOON!”

“THAT DINGUS!”

“THAT TOSSED SALAD!”

“I can’t believe he just-”

“‘Oh hey kid! I’m wrecking your homelife! By the way, how about calling me dad from now on even though you already have one and your mom is cheating on him?’ That fucking- ARRRRGH!!!”

“Yagi Toshinori who? My successor is and always has been Midoriya Izuku.”

 

“Oh shit the kid is finally snapping.”

“Took him long enough.”

 

“Oh my god…”

“That is…”

“The ugliest potato I have ever seen in my life.”

“Oh come on!”

“That’s mean!”

“I’m sure he can be a very sexy potato if he puts his mind to it!”

“Oh wait, dude is removing his respirator.”

“Oh my-”

“Oh! AH! AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH! IT’S YOU! YOU JUST CALLED YOURSELF-! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!”

 

“It’s me. I’m the potato.”



“I’d like to mention, for the record, that I’ve been calling him my son since we got him so I was right and you were all wrong.”

“Keep talking mister hot potato."

"Oh My God I just realised- You named your son after me! I'd be so flattered if you hadn't murdered me!"

"I hate every single one of you."

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