Chapter Text
Beelzebub <> Jolee
< Beelzebub: I’m hungry.
< Beelzebub: Why am I hungry?
> Jolee: You’re always hungry
< Beelzebub: Yeah, I know. Weird, right?
< Beelzebub: No matter how much I eat, my stomach just gets empty again.
< Beelzebub: Satan says our gas bill is through the roof because of all the cooking that needs to be done to feed me.
< Beelzebub: What if we all go broke? That wouldn’t be good at all…
< Beelzebub: Any tips for not getting hungry?
> Jolee: Don’t think about it and tough it out until the next meal?
< Beelzebub: No thanks.
< Beelzebub: Any other ideas?
> Jolee: Make your stomach smaller?
> Jolee: In the Human World there’s surgery for that...
< Beelzebub: Sounds like you’ve run out of ideas.
< Beelzebub: I don’t know… Either way, I’m heading to the kitchen.
A bit later, Jolee can hear Beelzebub entering the kitchen. Her room is on the opposite wall and she hears him rummaging around. She did her best, it was just not what Beelzebub wanted to hear. She sighs. Don’t get involved. These demons have to figure their own brother out.
Still she’s grateful for the stash of goodies she made in secret - with the help of Leviathan, because he thought it was an awesome idea to make hidden compartments in her room. - under the floorboard, in the linen closet and behind the loose brick in the wall. Beelzebub has been eating too much of her sweets, ever since she arrived. And no matter how much she likes him, she isn’t going to share with him anymore.
Only Leviathan knows of it. And he isn’t going to tell, having made the same sort of arrangement in his own room. Having made up her mind that it’s not her problem, she resolutely blocks all the crunching and munching noises on the other side of the wall. With a smile she falls asleep. She won’t be hungry tomorrow.
“WHAT IN ALL THE HELLS!!!”
Jolee startles awake early the next morning. Feeling the sensation as if there is an earthquake happening. But then she realizes it’s one of her demons having a tantrum on the opposite side of the wall. She will never get used to one of those.
She sighs. “Beel must have eaten too much again.” Trying to block out the sound, she pulls her pillow over her head. But it’s no use. The cursing is too loud. “Must be Satan.” She mutters. “I better tell him to stop, before Lucifer gets involved.” No one needs THAT escalation this early in the morning.
She quickly grabs the apple turnovers she made in secret, she knows he loves those., - Yes, sometimes it does feel like she’s training them into good pups - then goes to the kitchen.
She sees him raging in there, practically on fire in his demonic form. He’s beautiful and scary like that. She really prefers him to be calm, though. Especially now, early in the morning, clad in only her slippers and pajamas. Those don't feel like sufficient armor against a raging demon. But she does have her weapon.
“Hey, Satan?”
He stops cursing and throwing everything around, by the sound of her voice. But he’s still too angry to change out of his demonic form. She quickly scans the kitchen. The coffee maker looks still intact. So does the kettle.
“Do you want coffee or tea?” She walks into the kitchen and grabs both tea and coffee from the cabinets. Luckily Beelzebub never stooped to eat those straight from the jar. Not yet, anyway. No, he prefers to eat the freshly bought stock that is needed to cook with, to feed the whole family the next day.
Satan follows her with his eyes. He doesn’t want to lose his temper around her. Of course it’s just his luck that she is the first to come over. Sleeping in the next room over, it’s no surprise. He can’t make himself apologize to her yet. But seeing her instead of his brothers, first thing in the morning, does make him feel better.
“I’ll just make both.” She tells him animatedly. “We need both later for breakfast anyway, right?”
“There won’t be any breakfast.” He growls, but he finally lets go of his demonic form. He sits at the table, watching her. And he starts smiling. She’s trying to make him feel better and it works.
“Yeah… I figured.” Jolee nods. “I got us something, though.” She says mysteriously.
When the coffee and tea are ready, she prepares him a cup of coffee just like he prefers. Taking some tea for herself. She really doesn’t need coffee after an awakening like that. Then she pulls out her secret weapon, the apple turnovers.. She made them in secret, while Beelzebub was out yesterday. And she knows Satan likes these too.
“Nice.” He looks pleased. “At least us two have something to eat this morning.”
“Exactly.” They look conspiratorially into each other's eyes and grin. “It’s not our problem, anymore.”
They have a nice morning together, talking over coffee, tea and turnovers. Until the rest of the House awakens and starts accusing Beelzebub for his bad habits. Satan escorts Jolee gentlemanly back to her room, taking a curious glance inside: How did she manage to hide something so delicious from Beelzebub? He is determined to figure it out eventually.
Satan walks back into the kitchen where all his brother’s have assembled now. They’re drinking the coffee and tea Jolee made earlier and have divided the leftover turnovers amongst themselves. It’s basically just one bite per person. Satan is glad she made it for him and not for sharing. He gets a wicked smile on his face for a moment.
Beelzebub is standing there looking guilty and dejected, but Satan can’t bring himself to feel sorry for him right now, or maybe ever. Even if it did lead to having that nice quiet time with Jolee just now, he wasn’t exactly showing the best side of him, startling her like that. How can anyone ever make a proper breakfast for everybody, when everything they buy the day before gets devoured overnight?
“What the hell bro?! Ya gotta stop eatin’ all our food!” even Mammon is lecturing Beelzebub at this point. “Ya know I don’t have the coin to be spendin’ on my own food!”
Satan rolls his eyes, of course that’s all Mammon cares about.
“Don’t you know the rest of us need to eat too?!” Asmodeus whines dramatically. “A balanced breakfast is a key component to my beauty routine.”
“You noobs should know by now to have your own stash of food hidden.” Leviathan laughs.
Lucifer gives Leviathan a withering glare that shuts up his laughter. He doesn’t find this funny at all and for once Satan can agree with him. He’s lost count of how many times he’s found the pantry empty when it’s his turn to cook.
“This is unacceptable Beelzebub. Things cannot continue this way.” Lucifer lectures but as usual he never inflicts any physical punishment on Beelzebub.
Belphegor seems to be passed out on the kitchen table. Head on his arms as if he’s sleeping. But with closer inspection, Satan sees him tense. Belphegor is angry. And Satan knows why: Everyone is ganging up on his twin. Even if he knows they are right, he doesn’t like it one bit. But he is also irritated with Beelzebub, because he’s hungry too, like everyone else. He can’t decide on which side he is, so he pretends to not care.
1235 (4)
> Lucifer: I hereby call to order this meeting to discuss Beel’s food snacking problem.
< Asmodeus: Right, Satan totally lost it today when he saw the fridge was empty again.
< Mammon: I wonder how Jolee managed to calm him down.
< Asmodeus: They were having tea, and something she baked yesterday, together. I guess she managed to keep it a secret from Beel, somehow.
> Lucifer: Yes. Anyway… The situation is rather dire. Everything we buy is consumed almost immediately.
> Lucifer: We can’t rely on Jolee calming Satan’s rage every morning like this.
> Lucifer: Besides, her method still left the rest of us hungry.
> Lucifer: Whoever comes up with an effective solution can name their reward.
< Mammon: Wait, we can ask for ANYTHING?!
< Leviathan: If you’re getting our hopes up only to dash them, I swear I’m going to summon Lotan.
< Asmodeus: Can I get that super rare beauty cream that’s always sold out?!
> Lucifer: I assure you that I am serious.
> Lucifer: Should your plan prove effective, you can have whatever you want, be it money, premium anime DVDs, or beauty cream.
< Mammon: Awesome! You’ve got me psyched!
< Leviathan: Well, well… It looks like I’m going to have to get serious.
< Asmodeus: That’s a promise, Lucifer!
The next day...
*chomp* *munch* *munch* *munch* *gulp*
“...More please…” Beelzebub opens his eyes when no one is giving him seconds. “Graaargh…!” He stretches and yawns loudly. “So, I was just dreaming then. Aww… and I was really hoping for seconds… I’m hungry…” He sighs and heaves himself from his bed and goes to the bathroom for his morning ritual.
Belphegor in the next bed is relieved to see him go. Ugh, he was so loud last night! He decides to turn over and catch up on some more sleep. Maybe skip breakfast. Maybe Jolee has something special stashed away for him too? He’s sure to get it from her if he’s extra cute to her. Deciding to dream about that, Belphegor smiles and falls asleep.
Beelzebub in the meantime has finished his shower. “Drying my hair is such a pain.” He says to his reflection in the mirror. It nods to him, they agree on that. Beelzebub decides to let his hair dry naturally this morning.
“Oh look, a financier! What’s a French pastry doing here in the bathroom? Maybe Asmo left it here… Well, either way. Down the hatch… Ugh!” He spits out a sudsy glob. “That was soap… Maybe I should learn to taste, before biting in something, like Belphie always tells me… Oh well…” He shrugs. “I wonder what’s for breakfast today. A hamburger topped with thick-cut bacon and lettuce… Eggs benedict… What was it I was eating in my dream again? Come on, try to remember!”
Beelzebub chomps and munches. It’s like muscle memory, in a way. For his jaws, tongue and stomach. That’s probably normal, for a demon of Gluttony, right?
“...Pancakes…” He munches some more and gulps. “That’s it! I remember. It was pancakes topped with plenty of yogurt cheese sauce.” He beams, remembering his dream. “Ugh… That makes me hungry.” He quickly returns to his morning ritual. The sooner he’s finished, the sooner he can see what’s for breakfast. Maybe sneak something from the fridge, while Satan isn’t looking.
Refreshed, he hurries down to the kitchen. He can’t wait for breakfast after a good dream like that!
A few hours earlier…
Jolee walks into the kitchen to get something to drink. She had heard Satan cooking until late last night and knew he must have left some nice things in the fridge for breakfast. Taking one bite wouldn’t be so bad, she thinks. So curious for everything he made, she opens the fridge… only to see it completely empty… Not even some crumbs left. Oh. Crap. That’s going to be drama in a few hours!
She quickly goes to her room and gets dressed. Shame she can’t sleep in longer, again. But keeping the peace feels more important, right now. She knows that she had vowed not to involve herself in this but Satan might actually kill Beelzebub at some point, but not under her watch. So she goes to his room and knocks.
“Satan, are you awake?” She uses her sweetest voice. 'Please don’t kill me for waking you up.' She thinks and crosses her fingers behind her back.
He opens the door and she blinks: He could have put on some more clothes! But wow! What a view in the morning.
Satan smirks, seeing Jolee blush and shyly looking away. He didn’t expect her to be at his door so early in the morning and was too curious for why she was here to think about putting on a shirt. No matter. This is a bonus!
“What’s the matter, Jolee?” His voice still sounds sleepy and grumpy. “It’s still early and I prepared breakfast in advance…”
“Yeah, I know…” She nods. “About that…”
She tells him her discovery and Satan needs to use all his effort to not explode of anger right in front of her. He did all that work, only so that Beelzebub ate it all by himself?! He’s going to kill his brother! Why is there even a cooking duty?! All for Beelzebubs stomach? Everyone is best off to just get their own breakfast in the morning!
“So…” Jolee gently touches his arm and that brings him back to looking at her. “I thought maybe you and I could do some shopping this morning…”
Oh, but that sounds like fun. Just him and her? He grins at her and she smiles sweetly. Of course, he knows she does this to keep the peace, but he still gets to spend some time alone.
“Okay, give me a minute and we go buy some stuff.”
Back to the present…
Beelzebub is surprised to see there is nobody already in the kitchen. With no one cooking, it means there will be no breakfast on time.
“Who’s in charge of meals today, anyway?” He grumbles angrily, walking to the fridge. “They better have made something in advance and put it in the fridge.” When he opens the fridge, another unpleasant surprise awaits him. “Wait… Why is it empty.”
“I’m guessing that would be because you emptied it out, Beel?” There’s a threatening voice behind him. Satan. And he’s angry. It runs a chill over Beelzebubs spine. Turning around, he sees that there stands indeed Satan, his arms full of shopping bags. Next to him, Jolee. Smiling sweetly, arms also full of shopping bags. “And as a result, I was forced to head out to the store at the crack of dawn and pick up some groceries for us.” Satan's voice still sounds threatening, but Beelzebub isn’t too worried because he also sees that he had a good time, shopping with their human.
“I was the first one up this morning and discovered the fridge empty.” Jolee explains. “So I thought I’d best wake up Satan to help me with the shopping.” She places everything they bought on the kitchen table and starts sorting.
“I only just got up.” Beelzebub defends himself. “Then, I came down here and opened the fridge. When I saw it empty, I couldn’t believe it… Who would do something like this?”
Jolee looks up to him. He’s joking right? Who ELSE would do something like this? Satan starts helping Jolee with sorting their groceries. He’s less patient. It still feels to him like all the work he did last night had been for nothing and, being a demon, it’s harder for him to forgive the culprit.
“I can’t think of anyone who could eat every last scrap of food in the fridge besides you, Beel.” He starts collecting pots and frying pans. “I’m in charge of meals today, and I wanted to be able to relax this morning, so I went ahead and made our breakfast last night… There was plenty of food.”
“He has been cooking for hours.” Jolee confirms, grabbing the Devildom cooking book. She’s still not used to all the Devildom ingredients and how to prepare them, but she wants to help today. “I heard him, while I was doing homework and he was still busy with it when I went to bed.”
“Yeah… It seems that was a mistake on my part, huh?” Satan starts calming down a little. At least one person in the House knows of his hard work, even if there is nothing left to show for. “I should have considered that you might come in here for a midnight snack and devour everything I’d made.”
“I don’t remember doing anything like that…” Beelzebub still defends himself, but he knows it sounds weak. “Though I did have a dream where I ate a ton of really good food…”
“Are you sure that was a dream, Beel?” Jolee asks him, sorting some more groceries. It looks like she wants to keep some of them for later use. Maybe she’s going to bake something for everyone again? It makes both demons looking at her curiously, smiles on their faces. “I mean… Is it possible that you actually walked in here and ate everything in your sleep?”
“I’m super hungry right now, so I don’t think so, but… I’m starting to have my doubts.”
“For your sake, I hope we don’t end up finding leftover scraps of this morning's breakfast scattered around in your room.” Satan threatens him, still not entirely ready to forgive him.
Beelzebub is thinking hard for a solution. He can’t let his brother and Jolee cook a complete breakfast again. That will never be ready on time. “I know, we should call Hell’s Kitchen and have them deliver something. That way, we can keep all this for tomorrow…”
“They’re not open in the morning.” Satan answers him impatiently, but then smiles. “Hm… So that’s what’s going on. Whenever you are in charge of meals, it always seems like the food is restaurant quality for some reason. Are you always ordering takeout from Hell's Kitchen?”
“I have done that before, yeah. But the chef there has also been teaching me some recipes.”
“I bet he likes you.” Jolee smiles at Beelzebub. “You must be his best customer!”
“Yeah…” Beelzebub smiles shyly.
“Anyway, forget about ordering take-out from Hell’s Kitchen. It’s going to take some time, but I’ll cook breakfast for us right now.”
“Can’t wait.” Jolee smiles at Satan. “I’m pretty hungry, shopping on an empty stomach…”
“Sorry.” Beelzebub looks worried. “Now I feel awful…”
“It’s alright.” She smiles. “I can go without food for a bit.” Jolee knows she probably should be firmer with Beelzebub but he’s really good at pulling out her softer side...just like his twin..she thinks with a mix of annoyance and humor.
“You could argue that it is my fault for failing to take into account your midnight kitchen raids…” Satan pats his brother on the back. “Though you’re lucky Jolee discovered it first. Most of my initial anger has ebbed away by now.” He gets a big genuine smile on his face when he watches her starting to get busy with cooking. “It was weirdly fun, stopping by the grocery store first thing in the morning…”
“... With Jolee, you mean?” Beelzebub grins as he sees Satan slightly blush. “It’s all over your face. So, what are you going to make?”
“I take it you’ve got a request?”
“Pancakes, topped with plenty of yogurt cheese sauce.”
“You obviously know what you want.” Satan chuckles. It's really a compliment that his brother enjoyed and remembered what he ate in his sleep. “But as much as I hate to say it, we didn’t buy ingredients for that. Let’s see… We got eggs, bacon, bread. We also picked up some fruit and vegetables… Whatever looked good to me. So I’m afraid pancakes are out of the qu-”
Satan stops talking as he sees Beelzebub taking a big bite out of the chunk of cheese they just bought. “It may not be pancakes, but it still looks plenty good.” He munches. He’s about to take another big bite out of it, but Satan snatches the cheese right from his mouth, making him loudly bite his teeth into nothingness.
“Hey! Beel” He snaps angrily. “I told you, we’re about to use this to make breakfast. You know we need it all. Seriously, why would you even do that?!”
Beelzebub looks guilty and dejected. Satan looks outraged. Both demons are looking for help from Jolee. She shrugs. “Sorry, Beel. I’m on Satan’s side. If you’re starting to eat everything now, we bought it all for nothing. Again. Just like Satan feels like he cooked last night for nothing. For hours. You do understand, right?”
She looks at him intently. Sometimes she just doesn’t understand what’s going on in the minds of her demons. For humans it’s common sense to not eat everything, right before anyone else gets a chance. But Beelzebubs mind, or should she say stomach, works differently for sure.
Satan smiles satisfied. “Now, we’re going to cook breakfast right away, so sit tight. If you have to eat something now, you can have one orange.”
“Aww, just one…? When will breakfast be ready?” Beelzebub puts on his poor abandoned puppy expression and Jolee rolls her eyes. Satan snickers, seeing that. She never really fell for that. It’s why she hides her special treats from him. It makes him proud of his human.
“If you want it done faster, then you should help us make it” She answers him. “No sneaking bites.” She gives a command for good measure.
“Okay, fine…” Beelzebub nods.
“Alright then, wash the lettuce for me.” Satan puts his brother to work. “I guess I’ll start by frying up the eggs.”
All three of them set to cooking now. It’s actually nice and companionable this way. In no-time everything that was on the kitchen table is transformed from loose ingredients into a feast.
“...toasted sandwiches, soup, salad…” Satan sums up proudly. “That’s it, all done.”
“Good job, guys!” Jolee cheers. “You guys put that on the table in the dining room. I’m going to go ahead and wake up the others and hide this.”
She triumphantly lifts up a small basket with the pastries and treats she was making during the breakfast preparation. Beelzebub and Satan both look curiously. For who did she make that? And how is it that she always hides it so well?
“Wow… I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything that looked this delicious before.” Beelzebub beams, looking at the stocked breakfast table proudly.
“Well, that’s because we put so much work into making it look perfect. You even arranged it so it looked nice.”
“It’s almost a shame to eat it…” Beelzebub looks a bit sad again, making his brother look surprised at him.
“Maybe you finally understand what it means to be grateful for the food you have and appreciative for the work people put into it?”
“Yeah, definitely.” Beelzebub nods.
“Though I’m sure this doesn’t stop you from devouring this food like there’s no tomorrow. I should take a picture of this. As proof that there was actually once a feast where you were hesitant to eat.” Satan snickers. “Why don’t you get the drinks ready, Beel?”
When Satan returns with his DDD, he sees Beelzebub has already started eating. “Sorry.” He apologizes with his mouth full. “I got hungry, deciding on what to eat first. I couldn’t stop myself…”
Satan sighs a bit exasperated. “I’m still going to take a picture. As evidence of your crime.” He does just that and quickly fills a plate for himself and Jolee. He’s not going to let himself or her go hungry after all the extra work they did.
Lucky for Beelzebub, there is still plenty on the table when the rest of the House comes down for breakfast. Seeing him already eating, they quickly sit down around the table to fill their own plates. Complementing Satan for managing to make breakfast without losing his patience for once.
Lucifer is looking around the table. Satan looks happy, talking with Jolee, despite having half his hard work devoured before everyone was ready to eat. Jolee looks very tired, like she didn’t get enough sleep yet. And she still has some smudges on her face from cooking this morning. Lucifer can already guess what happened: Jolee helped Satan restrain his anger this morning. Again. By helping him with cooking. Probably with shopping too. She can’t go on forever like this, living in their House. She’s only human. Something needs to be done about Beelzebubs habits.