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A lone wren floated in the sunny blue sky.
It glided along on the air currents, before swooping down in front of Lauren. Her eyes tracked it as the wind whipped through her hair. It soon flew into the trees out of sight. Lauren inhaled and continued forward. The high grass tickled her ankles and brushed up against the underside of her basket that hung loosely from her hands.The pleasantness of the day didn’t help her gloom but she kept walking.
The meadow to the side of her white farmhouse sloped slightly before meeting the woody forest. It was a part of the land she did not like to disturb because it was so peaceful. This property had been in her family for generations and it was where she chose to quietly spend the rest of her days. It was far enough away from the city that she could breathe, but not too far that her friends couldn’t visit.
Lauren slowed her pace as she got to the end of the lightly worn path. It hadn’t gotten any easier to approach the small carved out area in the grass. She kept her head low out of respect...or was it the lingering hint of guilt that still plagued her thoughts? She looked down at her basket full of flowers. Gardening had become her favorite pastime and she had just picked some of the best blossoms for her table. Daisies, hydrangeas, gladiolus, gaillardia, and roses all mixed together in her basket in a pretty swirl of colors and shapes. But her eyes landed on the purple one that lay atop the rest. Its many petite buds that opened up to make a whole blossom were a breathtaking shade of purple with paler violet accents. Nature knew how to make such a beautiful flower, while men knew how to pervert it.
Picking up the hyacinth gently in her hand, Lauren simultaneously placed the basket down on the ground. She walked forward slowly, still gazing at the purple delicacy in her hand. A flood of painful memories entered the forefront of her mind. How many times had she looked at this flower in the past and only seen one thing? Now it meant a multitude of things to her...as it once did to him.
Lauren crouched low; her yellow dress fanning out around her. The wind, once again, tousled her fiery locks and the white ribbon in it. The heavy sorrow filled her chest as she read the etchings on the erected stone in front of her.
Kieran White
‘The Subordinate’
XX03~XX28
Lauren stared at his name for a while. She recalled the windy dimly lit bridge where she first heard it and the monumental left turn her life took after that night. Images of all their escapades together filled her mind - the late nights and disguises, his devilish smirk and electric eyes.
She looked down at the hyacinth in her lap. It was still and lifeless in her fingers, not unlike what he had once been. She could never forget that moment - the feeling of his weighty coldness in her arms. His still face and dim eyes haunted her. She’d never forget the pure desperation that rose within her to turn back time and rewrite history...or the sadness that capsized her knowing she couldn’t.
Despite his willingness to give up his life, the circumstances that led up to his death still loomed over Lauren and filled her with guilt. If she had done or said something differently maybe he wouldn’t have had to die? But she had to remind herself of who he was. Regardless of what she felt for him in the end, there were still consequences in life. His was the payment for his sins. He knew that. But it still hurt.
Tears brimmed her eyes now, threatening to spill over. But only one managed to fall, plopping on a purple petal. She slowly brought the hyacinth to her mouth.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered before lightly kissing it. Then Lauren placed it at the foot of Kieran’s tombstone. Although he was only in her life for a short period of time, she’d never be the same, even after all these years.
Suddenly, her ears perked up to the sound of a car arriving in the driveway and its doors opening and closing.
“Auntie Lauren! Auntie Lauren!” Two little voices rang out in unison, filling the gloomy air with a ray of hope. Lauren quickly wiped her face and stood. As she turned, she saw two blonde boys galloping in her direction. Their arms were outstretched and they laughed gayly. Lauren couldn’t help but smile.
“Boys, slow down! You are going to trip.” Their father called, coming into view.
“Yeah that’s right boys, go tackle her!” Shouted their mother, who held a little girl in her arms. She was the spitting image of her mother but timidly clung to her.
“Kym, we talk about this...ugh!” Will gave up and rubbed his eyes, which had more wrinkled around them these days. He still walked with a cane which seemed to aid his limp. His injured leg had forced him to retire from the patrol unit and focus more on his family. Although Lauren could tell he’d much rather be out in the field still than be chained to a desk.
“I don’t think Auntie Lauren is fast enough to outrun you two. GO! GO!” Kym still shouted to her husband’s dismay. Her smile was brighter nowadays and her spirit was as wild as ever; something her two boys picked up. They continued towards Lauren.
Lauren took in the scene. She loved the craziness of the Hawkes-Ladell family. Despite her dark and painful past, their bright and joyful futures gave her strength. Taking Kym’s que, Lauren quickly darted to the left in the direction of the house, hoping to reach it before the boys could reach her. She laughed and egged them on.
Unknowingly, she kicked over her basket on her way past. The flowers spilled all over the ground. The wind, that carried their laughter, picked a singular daisy from the cluster. It swirled to a patch,a few feet to the right of the tombstone, where wild flowers were growing. A brown hat was affixed to a stake in the ground amongst the tall flowers. The daisy settled on its faded blue patch before blowing away once more. The sun and its warmth radiated down upon the happy family running around the yard and the lone purple hyacinth sitting on the grave. A flower in a field of sorrow.
THE END