Chapter Text
Shelby woke up to the sound of voices in the med bay, she didn’t open her eyes but listened carefully. They weren’t talking about her, the voices were far enough away that she knew that much. One of the other girls were there with her now.
“You’re sure it was a seizure?” a woman asked, a voice Shelby didn’t recognize. “She has no history of seizures.”
“Correct,” a man said, this voice she did recognize, one of the doctors whose name she hadn’t bothered to learn. “We think she might have experienced some type of head trauma on the island.”
“Was it a grand mal?” the woman asked. Silence. “When you say trauma on the island…”
“Can’t be sure exactly what the initial injury was, but whatever happened to trigger the seizure plus the lack of oxygen she received during the attack, could be catastrophic. We’d need to pinpoint the area of the brain affected to know for sure but initial scans didn’t show any bleeding. She’s breathing on her own, which is positive, but if she doesn’t wake up in the next couple hours then…”
The woman let out a heavy sigh. “This is the last thing we needed. We can’t afford another causality.”
Shelby wanted to scream, to launch herself out of the bed and attack the doctor and the woman. They already had blood on their hands, now they were talking about another potential death like it was nothing more than an inconvenience, one more mess they’d have to clean up. She knew she had to keep pretending to be asleep to keep from being sedated, she wasn’t sure what they would do if they suspected she’d overheard their conversation, so she squeezed her eyes shut tighter and rolled on her side, trying to tune everything out. More than hating what she was hearing, she dreaded opening her eyes, seeing her friend… no, not her friend, a member of her new family, in such a bad state.
She thought back to the island, trying to remember someone hitting their head or even just complaining of a headache.
Their injuries had been relatively minor. They all had their fair share of cuts and bruises that were mostly left to heal on their own, a few broken fingers and toes they’d buddy wrap with scraps of fabric. Then there were the more serious injuries, where they had to do their best with what they had available, like the stump where Rachel’s hand had been after the shark attack, wrapped tightly in bandages made of shirts, and her own broken ankle, splinted with pieces of wood.
She couldn’t think of anyone who’d had a head injury - not that she’d know how to go about taking care of something like that if she’d had to.
When the woman and the doctor finally left the room, Shelby kept her eyes closed a moment longer, trying to steel herself before she looked at the other girl.
She opened her eyes, slowly turning her head to look at the other bed. “Toni,” she gasped when she saw her girlfriend, the conversation she'd overheard quickly became forgotten, all the anger she'd just felt replaced with panic that she could lose Toni. She left her bed quickly and crossed the room, ignoring the pain that shot through her right leg with every step, until she fell onto the bed next to her. “Toni,” she said again, gripping her sweatshirt with one hand. “Toni, please, don’t… please be okay.” She glanced towards the ceiling then closed her eyes, bowing her head slightly. “Please don’t take her,” she said softly.
She looked back at Toni, moving her hand to her cheek, managing to smile at the familiar warmness. “We’re almost free,” she told her softly. “Soon we’re gonna be out of here and we can do whatever we want. We can get our own place, just you and me. We can live next door to Martha, if you want, or all of us can just buy a whole block of houses because believe me, we are gonna sue… somebody. We can have a nice life together.”
She reached for Toni’s hand, holding it in both of hers before lifting it to her lips to kiss her knuckles. She hadn’t let herself think about a future outside the bunker, if she had the future was lonely and dark, everything she pushed to the back of her thoughts since she'd left the island came flooding to her all at once.
“We can have a family, you can have a family,” she started, barely thinking about what she was saying. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “Maybe this is too much too soon, but we can have kids, if you want kids. We can adopt or foster, whatever you want.” She sniffled, moving their joined hands against her forehead for a moment before returning them to rest below her lip. “And if you don’t want that, that’s fine too, we can have animals. We can get a little yappy dog or a big one, whose barks are like earthquakes, maybe both. Or maybe not a dog, isn’t there some kinda stereotype about lesbians and cats? We can have cats, we can have cats and dogs. Or… or maybe it can be just us. Whatever you want,” she told her again.
“All you gotta do is wake up. You took care of me on that island, you always made sure I was safe. Now it’s my turn, I’m gonna take care of you. Just wake up, I won’t even yell at you for not telling me that you were hurt. You don’t need to be scared cause we’ll find you doctors and treatment, whatever you need. Just open your eyes.”
She watched Toni, holding onto her hand. She knew that her eyes wouldn’t open just because she’d asked, but still she hoped. “I don’t know if you can hear me. If you could, I think you would’ve jumped outta bed and ran soon as I started talking about kids,” she said, laughing quietly to herself. “But I really hope that you can. Because I want you to hear me, I want you to hear me when I tell you that I love you. I know I’ve said it before, but I do, Toni, I really do. After everything we’ve gone through together, I don’t think I can imagine my life with anyone else and I definitely don’t know what I’d do without you in it.”
She moved the fingers of one hand to the inside of Toni’s wrist, to feel Toni’s pulse. She knew Toni was alive, she could see her chest rise and fall with each breath, but feeling the light beat under her fingers still brought her relief. She replaced her fingers with her lips, gently kissing the pulse point. “I’m right here.” Her eyes shifted over to the door of the room they were in, she knew that sooner or later the door would open and a doctor or nurse would see her in Toni’s bed. They’d stick a needle into her arm before she even had the chance to refuse to move and then she’d wake up again in her own bed.
She didn’t care though, whatever they did to her, she would be with Toni as much as she possibly could, even if she’d have to drag herself across the floor and crawl back into bed with her. As she moved to lay on her side on the small space next to Toni, she wondered how many times she’d be able to do that before they restrained her to her own bed. “I’m right here,” she whispered again, cuddling into Toni’s side.
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Shelby startled awake when she felt a movement next to her, she sat up quickly, wondering if Toni was having another seizure. Her mind was racing, trying to remember health class when she’d learned what to do when someone was having a seizure, but Toni was still again, only her mouth moved as if she were trying to talk before she let out a tiny whine.
“Toni,” Shelby said softly. “Baby, can you hear me?”
Toni mumbled something Shelby couldn’t understand, Shelby swallowed hard, trying not to panic.
“Okay,” she said, struggling to keep her voice steady. “Okay. Those weren’t words. Just… just relax and try again. Just say something, say anything, please.”
“No,” Toni muttered.
Shelby laughed, one hand moving to Toni’s hair. Of course that would be the first thing Toni said. “No? Did you say no? No, what?”
Toni shifted uncomfortably. “Hurts.”
“Something hurts?” Shelby asked, trying to keep panic from rising in her voice. “What hurts? Your head? Does your head hurt?”
Toni shook her head. “Leg.”
Shelby looked down to Toni’s leg, she couldn't help letting out a quick laugh when she realized that she was sitting on her knee. “Sorry,” she said as she shifted to sit next to her. “That better?” she asked, smiling when Toni nodded.
“Shelby,” Toni said, her voice weak.
She swallowed back a relieved sob at hearing her say her name. “I'm here.”
Toni opened her eyes a bit, turning her head to look at Shelby. “We’re not getting a yappy little dog.”