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The Doctor groaned as the darkness receded and his head began pounding. He opened his eyes groggily.
“What just happened?” He asked and blinked a few times to clear his vision. The last thing he remembered was heading towards Wilf in the radiation chamber. He expected Emma’s head to pop into his line of vision, but instead a tear stained Wilf appeared.
“She said to trust her,” Wilf announced and despite how hard his head protested, the Doctor sat straight up, his blood turning to ice. The instant his eyes landed on Emma, who was laying slumped against the door of the radiation chamber, he scrambled across the floor. He wrenched the door open so hard that the hinges groaned, and he cradled Emma as she fell towards the floor.
“Emma?” She didn’t answer. “Emma don’t do this to me. Please.” His hands shook as he pressed Emma closer to him and he rested his cheek on hers. “Please. Please please.” He took a deep breath as tears started to press against his eyelids.
“I won’t be able to pick up the pieces,” he whispered as a tear slid down his face. Wilf came over and put a hand on his shoulder.
“She said to tell you that if it didn’t work she was sorry, but she didn’t regret anything,” Wilf announced wetly. Despite himself The Doctor chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to Emma’s cheek. He knew that he should let go of Emma and take Wilf home, but he couldn’t manage to unwrap his arms from around her. If he does it means that she’s really and truly gone.
And just then he felt it. The very slightest hint of an exhale ghosting over his cheekbone.
“Emma?” The Doctor breathed and shakily reached to check for a pulse. He’d never really believed in a higher power, but in that instant when he felt the flutter of Emma’s heart under his fingers, he was willing to believe in all of them.
“She’s still alive!” He cried, feeling joy spilling out of both of his hearts, while he shifted his grip on Emma before he launched up off the floor and ran for the TARDIS. Wilf followed him in.
“But you said the radiation would kill you. How’d Emma survive?” Wilf questioned as the Doctor placed Emma on the bench next to the console. He bounced towards the console and sent Wilf a maniacal grin.
“The radiation must have been alpha particles! They can hardly pass through a piece of paper. And Emma’s blood is soaked with pure time energy! The particles probably couldn’t pass through that with any ease!” The Doctor laughed and spun to hit another switch.
“Then what’s the rush?” Wilf asked as he tried to maintain his balance when the Doctor landed in Sarah’s attic. The Doctor snapped his fingers to open the door as he scooped Emma up.
“Mr. Smith I need you!” He shouted as he ran out the door of the TARDIS. Sarah appeared in the doorway of the attic and blinked at him in surprise.
“Doctor? How may I assist you?” Mr. Smith asked calmly before Sarah could ask what he was doing here.
“I need you to scan Emma and tell me how much radiation’s in her system!” The Doctor gestured at Sarah to hold Emma without looking away from Mr. Smith.
“Doctor I’m detecting high levels of radiation poisoning,” Mr. Smith announced a few seconds later and the Doctor ran his hands through his hair in frustration as Wilf came out of the TARDIS.
“Yes, I know! Now tell me what the levels are!” The Doctor cried as he propped Emma up against Mr. Smith because Sarah was being too slow. Mr. Smith sighed and announced the number. The Doctor spun and ran for the TARDIS but was stopped halfway by Sarah.
“Doctor what’s going on?” Sarah requested.
“Sarah, I love her.” The words came pouring out before he could process what he’d said. He hadn’t admitted it to himself, but he knows he loves Emma, has known since Typus Seven when he almost lost her and tried to shove her away because he wasn’t ready to face the hope of not having to ever give her up.
“I love her more than anything else in this universe and I need to save her.” Sarah stared at him in shock as the Doctor sidestepped her and raced past Wilf into the depths of the TARDIS infirmary. He rummaged wildly through the cupboards and made a mental note to organize them before his hand struck the container he’d been looking for.
“Emma don’t you dare stop fighting!” He shouted into the air as he launched himself out of the TARDIS, clutching the bottle and syringe and skidded to a stop next to Emma and Sarah, the latter who had moved Emma off of Mr. Smith and was now leaning her against herself. The Doctor’s fingers shook slightly as he filled the syringe and stuck it into Emma’s arm.
“Please please please.” He begged under his breath as he stood up and paced. There were a few horrible tense moments, during which the Doctor’s blood seemed to get colder and colder, before Mr. Smith beeped.
“The radiation levels are decreasing slowly, but steadily.” The Doctor looked over at Sarah, who was smoothing a curl off Emma’s face, and as it sank in that Emma was going to be fine he laughed. He took a few stumbling steps to where Emma and Sarah were, before his knees buckled in his relief and he fell next to them. Sarah surrendered Emma to him without a word, but she was giving him a strange look and he realized why when he buried his face in Emma’s hair. He was crying again, but this time in joy. Which explained why Sarah looked a little alarmed, the Doctor was fairly sure that Emma was the only companion to see him cry from happiness.
“Emma Bradley, you are the most amazing person I have ever met,” He whispered into the top of her head softly. She shifted slightly as a line appeared between her eyebrows and the Doctor swept her up in his arms and carried her over to Sarah’s couch. Sarah wordlessly covered her with a blanket and thanked Mr. Smith for his help before turning her full attention to the Doctor.
“I’ll wait,” Sarah announced, forcing the Doctor to tear his eyes off of Emma so that he could pin Sarah with a confused look.
“Wait?” He questioned and Sarah nodded towards Wilf, who was still standing next to the TARDIS looking very confused.
“To ask you all the questions I have until after you take Wilf home,” She expanded. The Doctor smiled and followed Wilf into the TARDIS.
“I told you everything would turn out alright,” Wilf announced after the Doctor had landed the TARDIS and he had taken a few steps towards his door and the Doctor leaned against the door frame.
“I thought I lost her,” The Doctor reminded him and closed his eyes against the new wave of pain as he remembered those long, horrible moments.
“Are you going to tell her?” Wilf asked, and the Doctor shook his head without having to ask what Wilf was talking about. “Why not?”
“She’ll stay. Even if she’s unhappy she’ll stay because she won’t want to break my heart. It’s not exactly fair.”
“She’s not going to leave you,” Wilf replied, and the Doctor smiled sadly. He wants to believe in Wilf’s words, but he can’t risk it, can’t risk Emma being unhappy.
“I’ll keep an eye out for you and Emma,” Wilf stated, pointing up to the sky.
“Thank you,” The Doctor murmured to Wilf’s back as he headed into the house towards Sylvia’s voice. The instant he shut the door the TARDIS warmed the console room by several degrees as if she were giving him a hug. He smiled sadly as he wandered up to the console and rested his head on the time rotor before closing his eyes.
“Just take me to see her. Please. I need to know that she’s going to be alright.” Before he could even finish his sentence the TARDIS had taken off and by the time he opened his eyes in surprise, they’d landed. He walked over to the door and leaned out slightly to see if he could figure out where he was.
“Excuse me sir,” A small female voice asked, and the Doctor turned his head towards it. A little girl with golden ringlets stood not five feet away from him. He froze as the realization washed over him. Emma’s sixth birthday.
”Yes?” The Doctor asked as he straightened his suit self-consciously. First impressions were important after all. Emma looked a little confused.
“Is your box supposed to make that noise?” She questioned, while crinkling her nose in confusion, and the laugh that bubbled up in his throat got stuck around the sad lump that had reformed. As he studied this younger Emma it appeared to him that she didn’t seem happy enough. Then he was distracted from his somber thoughts by her attire.
“What are you wearing?” The Doctor cried as he took in the puffy, pastel pink horror that she was wearing. The Emma he knew hated pink and lace and he had a sneaking suspicion that he’d just discovered why. Emma sighed, looked down at herself and crossed her arms.
“My Mom made me,” She explained, and the Doctor stared down at her.
“Why?” He thought that seemed like a perfectly reasonable question. Emma got a slightly panicked look on her face as if she had just thought of something.
“My name’s Emma Bradley,” she announced before glancing up at him and he gave her a confused look in return.
“What!?” The Doctor replied and Emma gave him the look she always did when he was acting like an idiot.
“You have to tell me your name now,” Emma stated as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
“What!?”
“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. But you’re weird and I like weird, so if we introduce ourselves we won’t be strangers anymore. Grownups do it all the time,” Emma explained, and the Doctor laughed before he knelt down slightly so that he was at eye level with her.
“I’m the Doctor. Just call me Doctor. Nice to meet you Emma Bradley,” He said, smiled and reached out to shake her hand. She beamed at him and enthusiastically returned his handshake.
“I’m wearing this dress because it’s my sixth birthday and Mom thinks that means I need to start dressing like a little lady.” The Doctor groaned and hit himself on the forehead, he’d forgotten until just now about the picnic part of the story, and dashed back into the TARDIS, trying to think of a picnic he could make on the fly when he tripped on something. He stared in shock at the prepared picnic basket that he must have missed earlier, and the realization hits him like a punch to the stomach.
Emma, his Emma in 2009, hadn’t gotten into the radiation chamber on a whim. And she hadn’t been confident enough in her survival to not plan for this.
Then as quickly as the horror of that idea had arisen it faded away. He’d told Emma that he would take her on a picnic on Trias after they did a little more organizing in the wardrobe and he remembers Emma setting down the basket by the door when they’d went to talk to the Ood.
“Do you always keep a picnic ready to go in your box?” Emma asked curiously after the Doctor had spread out the blanket and helped her sit down. He focused on digging through the basket so that she wouldn’t see the emotions on his face.
“Not always. And my box is called the TARDIS. It’s a time and space machine.” Emma gasped in childish excitement at his answer.
“Really!? Can you go anywhere!?” She asked, eyes glittering with delight, and the Doctor laughed and nodded.
“Anywhere, anytime. Now I believe I owe you a story.” Emma gave him a funny look.
“You do?” Emma’s question made him wince as he realized he had to be careful about what he revealed. He was too used to just telling Emma everything because she had gotten so good at wheedling information out of him. The Doctor leaned forward while pressing a finger on his lips. Emma leaned in as well, the delight in her eyes getting even brighter.
“I’m from the future, your future. And you made me promise to tell you a story when the time came,” The Doctor explained, and Emma frowned at him.
“I did? But how will I know when to tell you the story about you telling the story to me?” Emma questioned.
“You’ll know,” A smile drifted across his face as Emma’s frown deepened. “Now are you ready for your story?” Emma nodded enthusiastically and took a big bite of her sandwich. He smoothed her hair down before he leaned back on his hands and told her the details of the story that his Emma had glossed over. When he finished Emma leaned over and put her hand on top of his.
“What happened to Rose?” She asked kindly and the Doctor only just managed to stop his surprised laugh from spilling over.
“You seem very grownup for a six-year-old.” He was avoiding the question and judging by Emma’s face, they both knew it, but he didn’t think that this was the best time to try and explain parallel universes.
“Can I come with you? I’m very small so I can fit in the TARDIS.” Emma requested and the Doctor burst out laughing. His Emma had warned him that she’d been very blunt as a child, but he hadn’t quite expected this.
“Not yet. But one day.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his watch. His Emma would be waking up soon and he still owed Sarah some explanations that he didn’t want to go in to in front of Emma.
“Anyways, you should probably be getting back to your birthday party,” he continued, jumping up and picking Emma up and twirling around with her before setting her next to the picnic blanket. He threw everything back into the basket and headed back into the TARDIS. Emma’s voice stopped him short.
“Do you promise!?” She called with a hint of desperation and the Doctor stepped back towards her. “Adults always make promises that they don’t keep.”
“Well Emma Bradley, you forgot that I’m from your future. You and I meet again on your twenty sixth birthday.” Emma pouted slightly in response and crossed her arms over her chest.
“But that’s so far away! Will you even remember me?” The Doctor tried not to, but he laughed at the childhood confusion in that question.
“That’s the funny thing about time travel, next time you see me I won’t have any idea who you are.” He swallowed down the nervous lump in his throat, reaching out and grasping Emma’s hand in his own. Using the tiniest hint of his familiarity with Emma’s brain, he softly traced out ‘I love you’ in Gallifreyan on her palm and folded her fingers over it as an unspoken promise to pair with the seeds of reassurance he planted in her brain. Emma would never ever doubt that he would be there on her birthday twenty years from now.
“Why don’t you know me?” Emma asked and the Doctor shifted his gaze up to the clouds and sighed slightly. His Emma hadn’t warned him about how many questions she would be asking, and he had no idea how to explain the finer points of time travel to a six-year-old.
“Wibbly wobbly timey wimey,” he stated and suddenly understood why he’d caught his Emma rolling her eyes the first time he’d said that in her presence.
“If you don’t know me then why do let me travel with you?” He had to admit that that was a relevant question for a child.
“I don’t know why, but I do know that I couldn’t imagine travelling without you. So, you and I will have a great many adventures. And that is a promise Emma.” It suddenly occurred to the Doctor that he doesn’t think he’s made so many promises to one person in his whole existence. Emma’s face brightened before she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around him. The pure happiness that was radiating off Emma caught the Doctor off guard and he once again wondered about how such a little thing could make her so happy. She released him and smiled at him as he walked back into the TARDIS.
“How do you fit in the TARDIS?” Emma asked and the Doctor sent her a wink over his shoulder.
“It’s bigger on the inside,” he stage whispered and Emma scrunched her nose up at him.
“Okay then. See you later!” She called and waved at him enthusiastically.
“It will be a great pleasure to meet you!” He waved back before he shut the door and set off. When he landed back in Sarah’s attic, all of the tension that still existed in him melted away as he heard Emma’s voice.
“Speak of the devil. Honestly, I’m really sorry that he just dropped me on your lap and went off to who knows where,” Emma stated pointedly after the TARDIS materialization noise had died away, and the Doctor smiled. He really and truly did love her.