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Tony was pretty sure his soulmate was dead.
For most of a lifetime, the earworms he'd caught had been bawdy drinking songs and bloodthirsty snippets about battles. Then for a couple of days he'd had something stuck in his head about killing giants, and since then - about a year ago - there'd been nothing at all.
Given that Tony had expected to die himself about a year ago, it was kind of ironic that his soulmate was the one to die instead. But Tony wasn't exactly a romantic; most people never wound up meeting their soulmate so why should he be any different? He'd tried something with Pepper and yeah, maybe it hadn't worked out, but it had proved to him that he could have something special with a person without any of this mystical 'fate' nonsense.
What people called 'soulmates' was just some fluke of quantum biophysics, paired neurons, nothing more than that.
Still, he couldn't deny getting a strange shiver when the alien-slash-'god' invading his planet started to absently hum 'Shoot to Thrill' in the cage on the helicarrier.
"Is that AC/DC?" Banner asked, brows furrowed quizzically.
"He heard it in Stuttgart," Romanoff said, not taking her eyes from the screen. The corner of her mouth did quirk a little in amusement.
And that was the sensible explanation, wasn't it? Loki had heard it in Stuttgart when Tony made his dramatic entrance. Now it was stuck in his head. Stuck in Tony's head too, but that was just a coincidence, that didn't mean Loki was getting it from Tony.
Tony hadn't heard any involuntary thoughts from his soulmate in a year. Woman or man, it didn't matter, they were dead.
Which was kind of a relief, to be honest, because good grief, imagine having the bad luck to be connected to the guy trying to take over your planet.
"Hey," Tony said to Banner, feeling suddenly unaccountably jittery, "let's get going on finding the Tesseract, yeah?"
--
Tracing the Tesseract didn't go so well. One midair battle later, with a close-up view of the engines that Tony really hadn't needed, he was standing in the middle of the helicarrier trying to put the puzzle pieces together.
"Divide and conquer is great but he knows he has to take us out to win. Right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it, he wants an audience." Tony paced, thinking aloud - except for the stray thoughts about how easy it was to get in Loki's head, how natural it felt. Not relevant.
"Right," Rogers said, frowning. "I caught his act in Stuttgart."
"Yeah. That's just previews, this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tilt diva." It was all coming together in Tony's head, staring him right in the face. So obvious, in retrospect. "He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants monuments built to the sky with his name plastered--" Shoot to thrill, play to kill-- "Son of a bitch," Tony said, stomach lurching.
No. No. It couldn't be.
His soulmate was dead.
Tony shook himself. He was being ridiculous. It didn't mean anything, that he found Loki so easy to understand. And it was just a coincidence, that both he and Loki had the song stuck in their heads. If a part of him wanted to point out that Loki had only heard the song once, and in passing... well, that part of Tony could just buzz off.
--
"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity," Loki drawled, stalking towards him like the world's most elegant serial killer with a leather fetish.
Tony was slightly ashamed to admit that Loki made the look work.
"Ah, actually, I'm planning to threaten you," he said brightly. I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will, yeah.
"You should have left your armor on for that."
"Yeah... It's seen a bit of mileage, and you've got the, uh." He gestured as he came down the steps to the bar. "Glowstick of destiny. Would you like a drink?"
Loki chuckled softly, switching his scepter from one hand to the other. "Stalling me won't change anything."
"No no no no, threatening." Tony made a show of surveying the bottles on display and picked one at random. "No drink, you sure? I'm having one."
Loki paced to the broad windows and stared out, seeming agitated. "The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." He managed to calm a little, turning back round. "What have I to fear?"
"The Avengers." Loki looked quizzical at that, which was a bit weird - apparently when Barton had filled the guy in he'd left out the team name. No big deal; it gave Tony more room to posture. Posturing, he felt, was a big deal with this guy.
He got through a bit of the promised threatening, then Loki apparently reached his limit. He threw Tony right out the window. Not how Tony had intended to test the Mark VII's homing capabilities, but hey... it worked. And he got the extreme satisfaction of blasting Loki in the face.
--
After the battle they gathered in the penthouse to deal with Mister Space Invader, and miraculously seemed to time it for just when Loki was coming round after being smashed halfway through the floor. Loki pushed himself halfway up, looked at them all, then said with a weak smile, "If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now."
Tony didn't quite manage to suppress his smile, but he could appreciate humor in the face of defeat--
So said the elven la-dy, in Jaðarsheim Drinking Hall--
"What the fuck," Tony blurted out loud.
Loki lost his sheepish smile. "Alright," he muttered sullenly, "there's no need to be rude about it."
Thor made an incredulous noise. Tony didn't pay too much attention to the others' reactions, to be honest; he was too shaken by the sudden re-emergence of one of the songs he'd grown up being forced to hear inside his brain.
"Where," Tony said, not at all shakily, "the fuck. Have you been. For a year?"
"Stark?" Rogers murmured, positioning himself at Tony's elbow. "Something you want to share with the class?"
Loki stared back, looking startled and more than a little frightened. He drew himself up and put on a painfully fake smile. "Making allies, Stark. Whose attention I'm sure you've caught, in defeating my army."
"You are full of shit," Tony snapped. He strode forward, feeling the smooth movement of the armor's joints, and grabbed Loki's bandolier thing to drag him to his feet. "I thought you were dead!"
Loki's eyes flicked around the grouped Avengers and then fixed back on Tony's face. "Did you hit your head?" he inquired snidely.
"Did I--" Did Loki not realize? No, Loki must have known when hearing Shoot to Thrill on the helicarrier. Why not say something?
"You're trying to protect me," Tony realized. He let go of the bandolier and let Loki drop to the floor. Loki wheezed painfully and wrapped an arm around his stomach.
"Stark?" It was Romanoff this time, from a cautious distance. "You know him?"
Tony glanced over his shoulder at her, reading the questions on her face. How did he know Loki, why hadn't he said something earlier, all of it. "I haven't heard anything from him for a year. I thought he was dead."
Romanoff's eyes widened slightly. "He's your soulmate."
Loki muttered something that sounded extremely impolite.
"Wow," Barton said. "Talk about winning the booby prize."
It was a lot kinder than some of the other things he could have said, but Tony found himself bristling anyway. He hadn't asked for this. "Right, well, this was fun, but it's not like it actually changes anything so let's move on--"
"It doesn't?" Rogers said, startled, and yeah of course Captain America was a romantic at heart, there weren't enough words for how much Tony wasn't surprised.
He almost folded his arms, then remembered how unwieldy that was in the armor. "No. It doesn't."
Loki didn't say anything.
Thor produced a set of handcuffs from... somewhere, and Tony was momentarily distracted. "Does that armor have pockets?" He peered at Thor's outfit in bemusement. "Where the hell did you have those stashed?"
And the treasures stashed away, came the immediate tune from Loki's head, uru, gems and gold... Let Asgard go a-raiding, hey, 'til we take them all.
Tony was starting to remember how annoying that was.
Loki gave a slight sigh, so at least he was irritated too.
"You have the shittiest earworms," Tony muttered.
"I don't actually disagree," Loki murmured back.
In another universe, one where Loki wasn't some planet-invading psychopath, Tony might have actually wanted to get to know the guy. He could tell that Loki's sense of humor was a good fit for his own. But life was too short to waste on 'what ifs'; this was the hand he'd been dealt, this was the hand he had to play.
But it didn't make sense. Why had he stopped hearing Loki a year ago? Why had it started up again now?
"I'm having a drink," Tony decided, making his way to the bar. He retracted the armor - what was left of it - back into its case. "Anyone else want one? Not you," he added, pointing at Loki. "Invaders don't get treats."
"You've changed your tune," Loki said, while from his head came the same few notes over and over again. Uru, gems and gold...
"I don't need to threaten you anymore." Tony slammed back the glass of whiskey and poured himself another one. This one he sipped. "I still want to know why the hell I stopped hearing anything from you a year ago."
"I was likely beyond the reach of the bond," Loki said, so obviously trying to sound bored.
"Cute. Plausible. Except I didn't hear anything all the time you've been on Earth, either, until about... ten minutes ago." Tony scowled. He hated mysteries. Well, actually he loved mysteries, but solvable ones. This one didn't make any sense.
"Ten minutes ago, huh?" Romanoff said casually, coming over to the bar with the scepter still in her hand.
Tony gave her a suspicious glance, but started pouring her a drink. "Whatever it is, just say it."
Romanoff gave an elegant shrug. She accepted her glass with her free hand and raised it in a brief toast before taking a sip. "AC/DC."
The helicarrier, Tony realized. Loki had heard him. "Why would it only be one-way?"
"Beats me," Romanoff said cheerfully. She looked at the pit in the floor where Loki had been laying, and raised an eyebrow.
Tony froze, glass halfway to his mouth.
"Anyone else feel like they're missing something?" Rogers said ruefully, looking around.
"What?" Loki said in a more strident tone. "What?" He took a step towards the bar but Thor grabbed him and held him back.
Something wasn't right here and Tony shifted on his feet uneasily. He took a sizeable gulp of whisky and eyed Loki. "Say," he said slowly, "any chance you've been mind-controlled for, oh, about a year?"
Loki stiffened. "No," he snapped.
Tony looked at Romanoff. "Missed opportunity right there."
She nodded. "Whether or not Loki was mind-controlled, he definitely wants to be the fall guy."
"What do you mean?" Thor demanded, looking between them.
"He passed up a golden Get Out Of Jail Free card right now," Tony explained. "What happens to him when you take him home to Big Daddy?"
"You can rest easy," Loki said coolly. "I will be executed."
"You won't be executed," Thor immediately argued. "Not unless you deliberately antagonize Father and that--" He stopped, broad shoulders slumping. "...He will be executed."
"And you will have peace and quiet at last," Loki said, smiling thinly at Tony.
Peace and quiet. Execution. Tony stared at Loki, stomach lurching. "Is that all this was to you? A suicide run?"
Loki flinched.
"Son of a bitch," Tony said in disbelief. There was self-destructive and there was entire-alien-army self-destructive. This guy didn't fuck around.
"Loki," Thor said, taking hold of Loki's arms to shake him a little. "Does he speak the truth?"
"Oh, like you care," Loki snapped, dropping the supercilious act. "What are you going to do, throw me out of another jet? You've got the Tesseract; be satisfied."
"You sent the Destroyer to kill me," Thor said incredulously. "And you're complaining that I am not gentle enough for you?"
"I'm sensing some baggage here," Tony said, more lightly than he felt. "Which is great and all, but Marvin the Martian over here just had his army trash my city, so maybe we deal with that first?"
Thor looked intensely displeased.
Loki snorted, picking up some of his supercilious attitude again. "Good luck with that. All must attend to the wants and desires of the Mighty Thor--"
"Shut," Thor said, slapping a hand over Loki's mouth, "up."
Thor's hand dropped away, and a fancy metal muzzle stayed in place, seemingly locked around Loki's jaw.
Barton looked at Thor incredulously. "Have you had that this entire time?"
Tony, on the other hand, found himself with a sudden sense of-- it wasn't an earworm exactly, but an awareness that something was stuck in Loki's mind and it wasn't anything good. He opened his mouth, but caught Loki glaring at him, and the infinitesimal shake of Loki's head.
Fine, whatever. Let the guy wear it if he wanted. Tony shoved down the memories of everything he'd ever read about PTSD and soulmates, and drained the rest of his glass.
"I was promised schwarma," he said, doing his best impression of 'spoiled billionaire'. "By myself, but I'm holding myself to it. Let's eat and then worry about what to do with Hannibal here."
"You're not--" Rogers stopped short. "You don't... want him to stay?"
"Because he's my soulmate?" Tony resisted the urge to make air quotes as he said it. Barely. "Take a look outside, Cap, then ask me that again with a straight face."
"If he was mind-controlled..." Rogers trailed off.
Tony looked at Loki, pretty sure what answer he'd get. "Well, was this little shitshow your fault?"
Loki's expression was filled with annoyance. He gave a single curt nod, then rolled his eyes.
Tony held out a hand in a 'ta-da!' gesture and ignored the way his stomach churned. "There you have it. From the horse's mouth, or... something, I don't really wanna think too hard about those myths. Let's eat."
--
Loki wasn't executed. Tony knew that because what he now knew to be terrible Asgardian earworms didn't stop. Every time another strain of 'Let Asgard go a-raiding, hey' rang through his brain, he thought to himself, well, guess you're still alive, and raised an imaginary glass in a silent toast.
Or a real glass, if he happened to be holding one, which to be honest he was doing more and more since the Battle of New York.
He didn't know if he'd done the right thing. Letting Loki go self-destruct in Asgard. He didn't know anything about that place, when it came down to it - but you couldn't just lead an interplanetary invasion and expect there not to be any consequences. Right?
Tony tried not to think about the ominous lurking leviathans on the other side of the portal and wonder whether Loki had already experienced those consequences.
There was some drama with a terrorist who turned out to be an actor, the real villain being some guy that Tony had blown off at a party once. Tony dealt with that, dealt with the creepy regenerating soldiers, all of it. Then came word of another alien invasion, this time in London, and that was just... too much.
The invasion was over before Tony could get there, but he swore that he wouldn't be helpless. He started rebuilding the Iron Legion, planning a new program to oversee them and the network of satellites Stark Industries already had in place.
He could remember too easily what had lurked on the other side of that portal. Whether led by Loki or someone else - there were armies out there that were a threat to Earth. Tony was going to plant himself right in front of that threat and say 'No.'
Bruce came back. Thor came back, which Tony hadn't expected, but at least Thor was able to fill in the blanks around the invasion in London.
Right up until he said, "Then Loki gave his life to save me, on the battlefield. You would have been proud, Tony Stark."
"Um," Tony said, having been kept awake by a rousing chorus of something he assumed was called 'Blood and Glory'. "How-- how long ago was this, exactly?"
"Two weeks now," Thor said. "I would have brought word sooner, but we were mourning, and... well, I assume it became apparent."
"Yeahhh," Tony said, drawing it out awkwardly. "About that. Either somewhere out there I have a human soulmate who only gets incredibly violent songs stuck in their head, or Loki's not actually dead."
Thor blinked. He went a little pale, and said in a very careful voice, "I hope you are not jesting about such a thing, Stark."
"I would never-- Alright, I probably would," Tony conceded. "But no, I am one hundred percent on this. I don't know what happened on that battlefield, but Loki is definitely alive somewhere."
Thor opened his mouth, then closed it again. His expression was - to make use of the obvious wordplay - thunderous. "I must speak with my father," he said tightly. "He may know of a way to scry Loki's location."
Tony started to nod, but then Thor stood up and made like he was going to go now, so Tony grabbed at his sleeve. "Hold up! Shouldn't I come with you?"
Thor winced slightly. "Mortals are forbidden to--"
"--To set foot on Asgard, yeah, I got it. But surely this is a special circumstance?" It was Tony's chance to find out-- to see if Loki-- whether he'd made a terrible mistake, letting Thor take Loki back to Asgard after the invasion.
Thor hesitated, then tucked a hand around Tony's arm and lead him outside. He looked up and called, "Heimdall!"
Travelling by Bifrost was amazing. It was the adrenaline rush of flying mixed with the floaty feeling of the best highs, wrapped up in rushing rainbow lights. When they landed, there was a black guy with golden eyes and a huge sword, who was presumably Heimdall.
"You're making a habit of this, Prince Thor," said presumably-Heimdall, and Thor gave a weak sort of chuckle.
If travelling by Bifrost was awesome, travelling by flying hammer was definitely not. Tony clung to Thor for dear life. It felt like he didn't breathe from the moment they left the dome with the Bifrost mechanism to the moment they landed in front of the palace.
"Tell my father I must see him urgently," Thor told a guard at the door. The guard put a fist on his chest and did a little bow, then jogged inside. Thor immediately lead Tony in the same direction, so Tony didn't really see the point of sending a messenger. It was going to give Odin, what, a few seconds' heads-up?
It made a little more sense when they got to a pair of huge golden double-doors, and the guard bowed again to Thor and said, "The king will see you."
"For the love of everything you hold dear," Thor muttered out of the side of his mouth, "I beg of you, be polite."
"I'm always polite," Tony said defensively, as the doors swung open.
Thor made a small despairing noise and strode forward into an immense throne room. Tony followed, having a good look around as he did so. Big open space, pillars, giant golden throne with a bargain basement Santa with an eyepatch. Presumably King Odin.
"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Odin.
"Father." Thor sounded nervous. "This is the armored Midgardian I told you about, Loki's soulmate. He... he claims that Loki yet lives."
"But you saw him perish with your own eyes," Odin said, almost snapping.
"We're talking about the same Loki, right?" Tony said. "Magic fingers, master illusionist?"
"Silence!" Odin bellowed, and Tony jerked back half a step.
Thor cleared his throat. "He does have a point, Father."
Odin stared at them both, expression unreadable. Finally he said, "Thor, leave us."
"Father?" Thor said, sounding startled.
"I would speak with the Midgardian alone."
"As you wish." Thor bowed and, casting one last look at Tony, turned to head back out the way they'd come.
Tony watched him go, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He looked back at King Odin, but the guy didn't seem to want to speak until Thor was all the way out and the golden doors closed again.
Odin stood. Slowly, surely, he walked down the steps in front of the throne. He stopped in front of Tony, single eye staring down at him.
Then green washed over him, and revealed Loki standing there in the king's place.
"I can tell you're my soulmate," Loki said sourly, "because you ruin everything."
"Harsh," Tony said automatically, then paused to consider. "But probably fair."
Loki made an exasperated noise, starting to pace. "I finally had everything I wanted, and all you had to do was keep your meddling mouth shut."
Tony paused and gave Loki a more thorough look, taking in the way that Loki was moving, the restlessness that wasn't quite anger. "Everything you wanted, huh? And how was that working out for you?"
"Well, no one's committed treason, yet," Loki snapped, "so better than the first time round."
"Uh huh," Tony said. "Sure. Personally it would bug me not to get any of the credit, but if you're happy with play-acting daddy then far be it from me to stop you."
Loki stopped pacing to glare at him. "I know what you're doing. And it's not going to work."
"Okay," Tony said pleasantly.
Loki strode up to him and reached for his throat - Tony tensed in expectation, but instead of grabbing his throat Loki hesitated, then grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "Listen well, Avenger--"
Interesting. Way toned down on the violence. Tony sighed, an unpleasant acceptance soaking through his body. "You were mind-controlled, weren't you? That's why I couldn't hear you until Hulk cracked your head loose."
Loki's grip loosened a little. "Not... controlled," he said unhappily. "Influenced, perhaps. Strongly enough to interfere with our connection."
"Fuck," Tony said, and ran a hand through his hair.
Loki let him go and took a step back. "There is no need for guilt. I wanted to be returned to Asgard--"
"Yeah, I remember." Tony scrubbed both hands over his face. This was a mess. "And I suppose if Thor finds out you're alive, you go back to your dungeon."
Loki inclined his head slightly in acknowledgement.
"Do I want to know what you did with the real Odin?"
"He's on Midgard," Loki said. "In a nursing home."
Tony was startled into a short bark of laughter. Oh yeah, he definitely liked this guy's sense of humor.
"I won't be imprisoned again," Loki said in a low, warning voice.
"Manhattan's still in pieces," Tony snapped, feeling a sudden surge of anger. He shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself that Loki had been... at least not fully in charge of that clusterfuck. "God. Can you at least give us some superpowered weapons for the next time aliens come calling?"
Loki frowned thoughtfully. "Asgard does not share its technologies easily."
"That was rhetorical," Tony said. He did a slight double-take. "You have alien-fighting technology? Of course you have alien-fighting technology, all your stupid songs are about raiding and fighting and glorious war. Come on, Space Invader, it is the very definition of the least you can do."
"The least I can do would be nothing," Loki retorted, but he still looked thoughtful.
Loki seemed a lot less... well, crazy, which Tony supposed was further evidence for the 'influenced mind' theory. Then again, Loki was currently posing as his own father, so 'less crazy' was relative.
"Come on," Tony said again, openly wheedling. "You know you want to. Do it for your soulmate."
Loki snorted, and rolled his eyes, and maybe Tony didn't believe that stuff about soulmates being made for each other but he had to admit that he clicked with Loki way more easily than he should. It was a very familiar mixture of humor, sarcasm, and self-destructiveness, with more than a little charm for good measure.
"I might allow you to study some of the books in Asgard's library," Loki finally said, "as Asgard bears some responsibility for what Loki did to your world."
Tony got the feeling that Loki had already spent way too much time pretending to be someone else, even in just a couple of weeks. "Please don't talk about yourself in the third person," he said, only half-joking. "You're pretentious enough without it, I promise."
That green light washed over Loki and he was once again an old man with an eye patch. "Is this better?"
"No." Tony grimaced, pushing lightly at 'Odin'. "Nothing against your old man, but I definitely prefer you looking like Junior."
Loki changed back, a considering look on his face. "The books don't leave Asgard," he said. "In case that wasn't clear. You would have to stay here to study them."
Tony had been asked to do worse things in the name of defending his planet than hang out on an alien world. "Gives me the chance to get to know you," he said, then couldn't resist adding, "and the chance to find out if you have a single piece of decent music in this place."
"I assure you," Loki said, with wry dignity, "we do not."
"I'll need to go home, make arrangements, pack some stuff," Tony said, wanting to make sure they were on the same page.
"And you won't reveal me to Thor," Loki said, testing right back.
"I should," Tony said, and grimaced. "But no. I... Call it a gesture of faith."
Loki smiled, and stepped back towards Tony. He slid his hand up Tony's chest and curled it around the side of Tony's neck. "I have the feeling you and I will create wonderful things together."
"Is that a euphemism," Tony said, "because you should know, I am totally down for that. And honestly I have been since about halfway through your crappy invasion. You really rock the kinky dictator look."
Loki's lips quirked. He leaned in and kissed Tony in answer, soft and slow. And okay... maybe all the stories about soulmates weren't so full of shit after all, because Tony could stand to do this for hours. He reached up and slid a hand into Loki's hair, holding him close. They kept kissing, open-mouthed but strangely chaste, until Tony's neck began to twinge and he took a step back.
"Another thing," Loki said, the hint of a smirk on his lips. "Bring some better music with you."
Tony laughed out loud, and pulled Loki in for another kiss.
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