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Chapter Text

Luo Binghe has just finished burying his mother. He still couldn’t stop the tears from running down his flushed cheeks. He never felt so alone, so lost. The single person who showed him love was now gone forever. Earlier, he heard some men speaking about how Cang Qiong Mountain was once again opening their gates in search for new disciples, so Luo Binghe decided to try his luck. Maybe if he would become a strong cultivator, his mother’s soul would rest in peace.

He buried his mother near a forest, because he had no money for a proper funeral. There were no people around, so he found it very strange when he turned around and saw a small old book, with leather covers, behind him. At first he thought that maybe a powerful cultivator dropped it and he just didn’t feel his presence. The boy waited some time, expecting that the man would return to search for the lost book, but the sun started to set and no one came.

Although he hasn’t learned how to read yet, because he was bored, Luo Binghe started flipping through the worn out pages. He wasn’t really paying attention, just admiring the beautiful calligraphy, until three certain symbols caught his eye, the only ones he knew, the ones his mother taught him a long time ago. His name. And it did not appear just once. His name was on almost every page, sometimes a few times in just a single paragraph. Luo Binghe didn’t believe in coincidences, nothing happened without a reason, so he decided to keep the book, and put it in his sleeve, leaving it for later. He went to sleep a little nervous, thinking about the next day’s test.

He couldn’t believe when he saw the gracious and aloof immortal who was willing to choose him from all the other children, to be his disciple. Luo Binghe was so happy he now had a chance to prove himself and make his mother proud.

The tea was hot and made his cheeks hurt. Small drops were dripping from his chin continuously, dirtying the floor. With his poor education, he must have surely made a big mistake and that was why his Shizun was so angry. He would learn and improve and then the man would forgive him for his imprudence and start to appreciate him. Yes. Everything was going to be fine.

Nothing was fine. Not even a single thing. His cultivation sucked, despite his efforts there was no improvement at all. The other boys bullied him without any reason, he was sick of doing everybody’s chores and this was not even the worst. Shizun seemed to hate him, always punishing him, scolding him, never showing him a second gaze and naming him ‘little beast’. Every night he slept alone in the woodshed, letting the cold settling in his bones, making him shiver until the fatigue took over. He wanted so bad to leave, to go back home, but there was no home to return to...

One day, when Luo Binghe was washing some clothes, he remembered the book he found once and hasn’t opened it ever since. Recalling how he recognized his name written there, his interest was once again picked up. He diligently finished all his chores faster, to go and check the treasure which was troubling his mind.

Now that he could read, the boy found the title really strange: “Proud Immortal Demon Way”. Was that a kind of cultivation manual or something? After carefully flipping through the first pages he realized it was more of a story than a set of instructions, a story that oddly reassembled his life until the present. It was written even about how Shizun purred hot tea on his head, with a little extra paragraph there explaining that the aloof immortal did it because he was jealous on the boy since he had a caring mother and good prospects. What? How could his perfect teacher, who had a strong cultivation, power and status be jealous on a lowly boy from a poor town? There was no way! The book was just full of stupid things and some mere coincidences! He quickly closed it and then put it back in his hideout.

Shizun didn’t like him because he was useless, not because of other stupid reasons. He’ll just have to work harder and prove his worth. His life wasn’t so bad and that day was a beautiful one. It clearly predicted the start of better times.

Well, those better times were probably just late by a little. And it was not such a big thing...just a small injury, some whipping to make him stronger and a negligible amount of blood loss, right? Yeah, of course. Shizun must have had a bad day, and after all, he clearly broke the qin, even though it was more Ming Fan’s fault because he came to bully him and when he was pushed by the other, he lost his balance and fell on the qin, destroying it. Shizun had quite a fit of anger since that was his favorite one and that was certainly why he didn’t have any chance to explain himself.

The entire night Luo Binghe fussed on the cold ground, trying to fall asleep but with no success. The pain was spreading through his entire body with every move he made, transforming the night in an endless nightmare. He kept thinking about the strange book and he started to wonder if the event from that day was also predicted there. And if it really was, why did he find such a precious treasure in such a deserted place? Could it be that fate was trying to give him some help?

He waited impatiently for the first rays of sun to make their appearance, for a new day to come, so he could go and answer the questions that were plaguing his mind continuously.

The book was placed were he left it and he was more than happy that no one else was awake to bother him in his investigation. The excitement and anticipation took over the boy completely, making him forget the pain from the injury on his back that was numbing all his senses with every step he took forward towards the hideout.

His hands were trembling slightly when he opened the book to read the next chapter. He sat down under a bamboo tree, carful to be out of sight if someone decided to take a stroll that very moment. Luo Binghe couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw that indeed, the previous incident was also described there. How the boy suffered a good beating and harsh words of reproach because he broke the qin that Yue Qingyuan gifted to Shen Qingqiu. It was also written how Shizun would never admit that he really cared about the instrument, but no doubt he kind of did. So he didn’t just break his favorite qin, but the one from the Sect Leader too! No wonder his punishment was so terrible. He would be angry too if someone dared to destroy what was his.

Luo Binghe started to believe less and less in simple coincidences and began to acknowledge the power of the book to predict the future. The sun was already up and he soon had to start his daily chores, so he didn’t have enough time to read his entire life, but at least he should quickly see what the near future held for him and how could he evade angering Shizun even more.

The next big ‘fight’ between them would be when, one day, Shizun will put him to brew a pot of hot tea and because that piece of shit of Ming Fan would sabotage it, the tea will have a terrible bitter taste that will send the aloof immortal right into a new fit of anger, earning him some more beating. It seemed that Shizun really had a sweet tooth and he totally disliked two or three things: sour food and Luo Binghe, according to the book. Anyway, he didn’t really mind it, -dislike- was not so bad in comparison with other possible feelings. After all Shizun hated pretty much everything and everyone, or so it seemed. Now if the information was accurate, he would have such a big advantage in the future.

The day came faster than expected, one morning Luo Binghe finding himself in the bamboo house, in front of Shizun.

“Ming Fan left to deliver some letters. Go and brew some tea for this master.” Shen Qingqiu spoke with his usual cold tone, devoid of any emotion.

Luo Binghe bowed and said a ‘Yes, Shizun’ and quickly ran towards the kitchens, prepared to fallow his plans. It wasn’t mentioned how Ming Fan would try to sabotage him, so a few days prior, he purposely hid some high quality tea leaves (the calming ones that Shizun loved the most) to be sure they won’t be poisoned or altered. He carefully washed the pot and the cups to convince himself that they were alright and started to prepare everything with attention. The finished product had a refreshing smell, quite accurate with how he recalled it should be. He put them all on a tray, adding a small plate with some handmade sweets. He didn’t leave even for a second, cause he was afraid Ming Fan would probably take the moment to act.

He carefully went out of the kitchens, holding tightly the tray, walking towards the bamboo house. Unfortunately the pest somehow was also there, right before the door. Luo Binghe was sweating buckets, scared that right in the next second all his efforts would be ruined if Ming Fan would try to do something. At least if has was doomed to fail, he wanted to pour the hot tea right on his shixiong’s face and forever erase that smug smirk.

“What are you doing?” Ming Fan asked with a tone full of distaste.

“Shizun asked me to prepare tea.” Luo Binghe replied all his muscles being tensed.

“Give it to me.”

“What if is not good and Shizun would dislike it? Do you want to take the blame?” Luo Binghe asked, trying to find an excuse.

“If I can’t please Shizun, why would you?” Ming Fan muttered angrily.

Luo Binghe could feel the tense air around them and the danger that was approaching him. Suddenly he had an interesting idea.

“Shizun, this disciple finished.” Luo Binghe spoke on a lauder tone, making sure that the man heard him, even from inside.

Now that the aloof immortal was also implicated, Ming Fan wasn’t so brave anymore to act. He just looked murderously at him and then turned to leave.

“It’s not over.” The other threatened and then left, fuming.

Luo Binghe refrained from sticking his tongue out. What an arrogant child, really.

He quickly stormed inside the bamboo house, earning a scornful glare from Shizun.

“Little beast, you really have no manners. Why are you shouting?” Shen Qingqiu spoke while idly fanning himself.

“This disciple apologizes.” Luo Binghe quickly added, to make a good impression.

Shen Qingqiu didn’t look at the boy anymore and then just took a sip from the tea, tasting it. Observing the sweets, the man’s face lit up slightly for a fraction of second.

“At least you are good at something.” Shen Qingqiu mumbled while also tasting his favorite treats.

“Why are you still standing there?” He added, raising an eyebrow.

Luo Binghe finally broke up from his trance, bowed and happily flee the scene with a warm smile on his face. No way, the book really told the truth and the information from it helped him! For the first time since he entered the sect months ago, he made Shizun praise him, even if the man’s appreciation was something small and almost undetectable. Luo Binghe knew it was there and that was enough for him. The heart in his chest started pounding faster.

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe was not himself. He kept pacing back and forth through the bamboo forest, massaging his temples. The book explained that on a specific date, Ming Fan would come to bully him, this way his mother’s Guanyin pendant being lost forever. And as if this misfortune alone wasn’t enough, he’d blame it all on Ming Fan, believing he’s stolen it.

To assure everything would turn out fine, Luo Binghe made preparations, hiding carefully his precious treasure in a safe place. But even so, he couldn’t calm his nerves. The truth was that he didn’t want to be beaten. He’s had enough taste of pain already and a fist in the face wasn’t on his list. Let’s not mention how detailed every punch was described in the book. He could almost feel the stinging just by only reading those few paragraphs. He was aware it wasn’t Ning-shijie’s fault, since she had the mentality of a naive and kind child... but he still couldn’t stop himself from resenting her a little because of her big mouth.

In the book, there wasn’t specified any particular date, but it was mentioned that the event would take place after Shizun would teach them the ‘Sword number 158’ movement.... which unfortunately happened that day. So it meant that the tragedy could happen anytime starting that moment. And he was afraid, alright? He really wanted to find a way to avoid fate entirely. He knew he should be brave and face any challenge without blinking... but still... he was just a child and couldn’t stop his body from shivering.

He has managed to change the flow of things once, that time with the tea, so why wouldn’t he do it again? The single place where Ming Fan wouldn’t take action, would be in Shizun’s presence. But the man still didn’t like him very much. To go and start pestering him now would just mean to earn a double beating.

A public place. The last thing he could resort to was to surround himself with witnesses. Not that any witness would take his side in front of Shizun, but at least it would strip Ming Fan of his braveness.

Days passed and nothing happened. Maybe the information was false? He was preparing to go in the forest to chop some wood.

“A-Luo! Can I go with you? Please! I’m bored!” Ning Yingying suddenly appeared from nowhere, giggling.

“Ah, of course....” Oh shit. Alone just with Ning-shijie in the forest. It was happening! It was happening!

“~of course not. How could I let Ning-shijie go in such a place? Would Ning-shijie like... perhaps... to take a stroll on the training grounds?” At such a hour there should be a dozen of disciples practicing!

“Alright!” Ning Yingying replied, all smiles. She was always so nice to him!

They arrived on the training grounds and it wasn’t long until Ming Fan made his appearance accompanied by four other fellows.

It started exactly the same as described in the book, with Ming Fan trying to draw Ning Yingying’s attention by showing her a beautiful jade pendant.

“A-Luo has one too! And it’s more interesting!” She said innocently.

“Is that so? Than I want to see it too. Luo-shidi, won’t you show it to me?” Ming Fan asked, laughing mockingly.

“I don’t have anything to show you.” Luo Binghe replied through gritted teeth.

Be brave! Be brave! If you don’t show any weakness, they won’t have what to exploit!

“So you think we are stupid? Guys, go and hold him for me. If he doesn’t want to show us willingly, than we’ll have no other choice.” Ming Fan declared, laughing.

Ming Fan afraid of a public place? Well, wrong. Very wrong.

Two of the bigger boys approached him, and despite his efforts, they were more powerful and he was weak, so utterly weak and useless.

As the two were holding him, Ming Fan starting coming closer. All the other disciples just encircled them, laughing, pointing fingers and whispering, like a bunch of idiotic ducks. Was really no one gonna help him? Would no one intervene? That was the moment Luo Binghe realized that in this world you could rely only on yourself, cause nobody else cared.

“Indeed. I really thought you were just stupid.” Luo Binghe said, showing an arrogant smirk. “But now I truly realize that you are also so weak that you need help to deal with a mere child.”

Ming Fan’s smile faded entirely, replaced by an ugly frown.

Better deal with one than with the whole herd, right? However, he was aware that he had no way of winning, his cultivation sucked.

As the two monkeys let him go, he managed to stop his body from trembling, trying to take a defensive position. A very bad defensive position, but he at least tried his best. He has seen others fighting before, he could do it too.

Nope. He couldn’t. He didn’t even realize when the vertical line became horizontal, his head hitting the hard ground. The world was spinning and he could only hear the buzzing in his ears and some people cheering somewhere in the distance. Was he so easy to defeat?

“Stand up.” A foot hit his ribs mercilessly, making him let out a growl. “Didn’t you say I’m weak? Stand up and let’s continue!”

Weak. Useless. Weak. The voices in his head wouldn’t shut up.

“Don’t you hear anymore?” Ming Fan said laughing and suddenly Luo Binghe felt his scalp hurting, his hair being pulled up.

His hands started searching for a weapon on the ground, for anything to help him defend. He managed to take a hand full of sand and small stones and threw it in Ming Fan’s face, making the boy let him go. Ming Fan started cursing, wiping continuously his eyes. He was prepared to go and hit Luo Binghe again, when a voice made his blood freeze in his veins.

“What’s happening here?”

“Shizun.” More and more children greeted and probably bowed.

Luo Binghe would have done it too, if the world wouldn’t have spun and his head wouldn’t have hurt anymore. He was still on his back, from his earlier fall, looking at the sky and trying to take big breaths to calm himself. Better play dead and maybe Shizun wouldn’t observe his failure.

“Ming Fan. This master awaits an answer.” Shizun said on a terrifyingly cold tone.

“Shizun. This disciple didn’t.... he, he provoked me!” Ming Fan murmured, pointing his finger at Luo Binghe.

Well, here went his hope to go unnoticed.

“Is that so? And since when do you let yourself be provoked by weaklings?” Shen Qingqiu spoke while tapping his chin seeming lost in thoughts.

“Go and run 30 laps around the peak now.” He suddenly added. “And take with you all these disciples that love to slack off and watch low quality entertainment instead of practicing their sword moves.”

All the disciples complied, disappearing instantly, afraid of other possible punishments.

Luo Binghe slowly stood up and tried to quietly take his leave, before Shizun recalled that he was also there. He didn’t even manage to walk three steps, when he was observed. Well, shit. It wasn’t his day, was it?

“As for you little beast....”

Luo Binghe fell on his knees. “This disciple is useless.” He said, admiring the ground.

Shen Qingqiu frowned. “Who told you to kneel and dirty the ground? Come.” The man spoke and than walked away, without waiting for a reply.

The boy stood up and started fallowing the Peak Lord, thinking about what new and creative punishments could be waiting for him, far away from people’s eyes.

“Do you know your wrongs?” Shen Qingqiu suddenly asked.

“This disciple dared to try and fight his seniors.” What sense would it have to try and explain he was bullied? At least his pendant was now safe.

“No. That’s not it. You were stupid to provoke them when you knew your chances were against you.”

They entered the bamboo house. Out of a sudden, Shizun threw him a handkerchief.

“Clean your face. This master doesn’t want blood on his floors.” The man said and than started fussing around, searching through the drawers. Maybe for a whip? Or for something worse?

The boy cleaned his bloody nose and lip, staining the white cloth. Shizun would be angry when he’ll see it, wouldn’t he?

“Take it. And next time remember to use your brain before acting. Now scram.” Shen Qingqiu said, giving him a small jar. Was it... medicine?

Luo Binghe couldn’t stop the shock from showing on his face. And the punishment for his failures?

He was so overwhelmed that he forgot to thank and even walk, stumbling a few times on his way towards the door. Medicine? How could he receive medicine? Did Shizun realize he was being bullied and helped him?!?!

Chapter Text

Luo Binghe slowly opened his eyes, squirming on the cold ground, for the first time in ages the light of a new day bringing him joy and enthusiasm. The fact that a week or two ago he received a small jar of medicine still made him smile brightly. It was never that Shizun was a bad person, instead he, as a disciple, was just not good enough. He hasn’t used the medicine yet, as it was the single gift he had from Shizun and he didn’t want to lose this little reminder. He hid it in the same spot where he put the book and his mother’s Guanyin pendant. It seemed that the place had become a treasure hideout of sorts.

Luo Binghe was too excited by that change of events and really wished he could thank Shizun somehow. He wanted to go and cook for Shizun and then clean his house, his garden, do the paperwork..... no. He was too stupid to do the paper work. Maybe wash his clothes? Luo Binghe could’t stop in time the blush from spreading on his face at the thought. It would be inappropriate! Ah, he would seem too desperate and creepy if he went directly and asked what Shizun’s favorite food was, right? He had no idea what to do!! Shizun would believe he was some ungrateful and impolite brat! Maybe the book had any useful suggestion? After all, without the book he wouldn’t have ever guessed that the man had quite the sweet tooth. He hasn’t opened it in the past days, totally forgetting, his mind preoccupied with the image of Shizun giving him medicine, the moment repeating itself again and again in his head.

Certainly, it wasn’t as interesting as before. He must have guessed already that his life will be boring, after all he wasn’t anything special. It presented lessons, bullying, his close friendship with Ning Yingying, some small and unimportant events. Luo Binghe started to skim through the pages absent minded, kind of disappointed there wasn’t anything good there. He wanted to close it, when suddenly a certain phrase caught his attention: “Shen Qingqiu went out, blood all over his clothes, shocking the disciples that were running around disoriented.” What? Blood? He started reading curiously and a little tensed the rest.

“The demon invasion wouldn’t have been so successful if the other Peak Lords weren’t away.” A demon invasion?!?!

“The demonesses smiled at him, her interest clear.”

“The qi deviation....[...]...it was too late to save him...”

“>He has managed to win only through despicable means!!< the disciples were whispering disappointed.”

“All looked at their martial brother with disgust. A murder. He has killed his own shidi in cold blood.”

“He tried denying it at first, but not even Yue Qingyuan seemed to believe him.”

“>How could have the War God die because of a mere qi deviation? Liar!<”

“>Shen Qingqiu, I never thought you really were this type of person.<”

“>Xiao Jiu, did you really kill him?<”

“Nightmares.... [...]... if he wouldn’t have had his own qi deviation right that moment...”

“No one believed him or cared what truly happened...”

“Another whisper, another pointed finger.”

“Shen Qingqiu snorted irritated. Let them believe what they wanted. What did it matter?”

Luo Binghe couldn’t close his mouth. There was certainly a frightening amount of detailed information. Liu-shishu was going to die because of a qi deviation and everybody will believe it was Shizun’s evil plan? And as if it wasn’t enough... a demon invasion too? The fact that he was going to fight a powerful elder and beat him didn’t even entirely register to his mind. He was more preoccupied by Shizun’s situation. Why did no one believe him? Why didn’t they try to find out what truly happened? It was as if they were totally content with that baseless explanation. Because it was simpler to believe Shizun would do such a thing, because it was simpler to assume. Yes, Shizun was a difficult person, moody and almost all the time angry... but that didn’t make him a criminal!

What could he do? What was there to be done? He couldn’t just go and tell Shizun because the man clearly wouldn’t believe... Maybe talk with Mu-shishu? To Somehow warn them?

It was strange that the book presented his life, his future... it all still felt unreal, as if it was a mere story. He continued to read, a bitter taste in his mouth. Hopefully, no other bad things would happen to Shizun.

The dream demon part was kind of frightening and totally unexpected, even more that Ning Yingying was also there to help him broke the enchantment. He has brought the person he trusted the most? He could have sweared that the person was Shizun, not Ning-shijie!

“<Brat, I can teach you demonic cultivation.<“

That...sounded bad. Very, very bad.

“Of course he instantly accepted, there was no person he hated more at that moment than his cruel Shizun. He didn’t care what he was nor through what method he would cultivate... as long he would become more powerful... He had to become stronger.”

“ >Why don’t you sleep with that girl if you like her?<

>I don’t like her. We are just good friends.<

>You don’t have to like her to sleep with her.<

The boy raised an eyebrow.

>Dual cultivation will help you, you know?<

>To improve my cultivation?<

>Exactly.<

>Mhm... I see. Than... maybe in the future.< “

Future? What future? No future! Luo Binghe wanted to scream! You ungrateful self! Poor and innocent Ning Yingying who always helped him... to stain her like that... just to improve his cultivation? What kind of bullshit excuse was that? As if she was just a disposable item... that was so low... and when he thought that he... he... No! He wouldn’t do such a thing! The dream demon, he was certainly a bad influence.

“The immortal alliance conference was approaching and Luo Binghe was more and more sure Shizun wanted to kill him. His normal cultivation was utterly awful, but somehow he was going to participate in the competition.”

“So many girls were smiling sweetly at him, his presence lighting up the mood.”

“The monsters that kept appearing were more powerful and harder to deal with.”

“A Black Moon Python Rhinocero was running towards him.”

“He was going to lose.”

“It was harder and harder to evade the monster.”

“The Endless Abyss had opened.”

“A surge of power flooded right through him.”

“The sigil had broken.”

“>You filthy beast. A Heavenly Demon? Go and perish where you belong.<“

“He didn’t feel the push. Nor the hard ground.”

“A-Luo? A-Luo!!”

Luo Binghe jumped from his sit, disoriented.

“Why are crying? What are you reading there?”

Crying? He raised his hand and touched his face, indeed tears flooding down. He was too invested in what he was reading. He quickly closed the book.

“Ah, nothing important. What happened?”

Looking at Ning Yingying, the cute girl who always warmly smiled at him, Luo Binghe started to feel bad for things he never even did.

“You’ll be late at the morning lessons. And then Shizun will be angry again.”

“Oh, right!” He totally forgot that he had a life to live too, not just to read.

The realization hit him like a hammer.

Demon.

Was he really a demon?

He didn’t want to believe it, he wanted to toss away the book and say it never happened... but every single word until than had been true, why wouldn’t it be than too?

He was a demon. And Shizun was going to hate him for it. And Shizun was going to murder him for it. Was that how his life ended? Falling into a pit of despair? Both figuratively and literally?

But if it really was the end, why would he still have half a book to read? However, the rest could be as well about other’s life without his existence. It wasn’t like anyone would miss him anyway.

He was learning how to kill demons, when he himself was one.

When he himself had that cursed blood inside his veins.

Maybe Shizun already knew or had a suspicion... after all he was always the “little beast.”

No. He was no beast. He was a demon.

“A-Luo, we should go faster! Why did you stop?”

Luo Binghe looked at her or maybe somewhere in the distance, he couldn’t really tell.

“Yes.” He finally murmured, breaking out of his thoughts and continued walking.

He should tell Shizun. That he was what he was. After all the man gave him a home and was raising him...and if he didn’t know.... then he deserved to find out the truth.

But in the book Shizun was angry.

Cold.

Disgusted.

If Shizun decided he didn’t deserve to live... then who would help the man with the murder accusations at the Lingxi Caves later?

Luo Binghe was going to tell him the truth, but just a little bit later. Maybe after the demon invasion, maybe after he will finish the whole book and he was going to be sure no other harm would befall his Shizun. He wanted to be sure no bad things would happen to the people he cared about if he wasn’t going to be there anymore... to protect them.

Chapter Text

It was all in his head, right? Just his imagination playing tricks on him again. Since he has found out that he was a demon, he had this constant impression that everyone was looking at him, that they knew, that they were secretly plotting to kill him. He saw how they were whispering, how sometimes other disciples pointed their fingers and laughed at him and how Ming Fan always wore that mocking sneer, as if he was aware his doom was coming.

But how could they know? Your powers are still sealed! Wake up, Luo Binghe, it’s all in your head!

“Little beast, again you are slacking off. Tell this master, what other things are so important that you are daydreaming while this one explains?”

Oh, and nothing scared more Luo Binghe now than his Shizun. He couldn’t figure out if the man has already found out or not. Sometimes he was looking at Luo Binghe with hate and disgust and then the boy was convinced there was no way his knowledgeable Shizun wasn’t aware. But then why was he still alive? Shizun hated demons, Shizun will push him in the Endless Abyss without any remorse, so if he really knew, than why was still breathing? Because Shizun didn’t know!

But in the end, wasn’t this even worse? What if Luo Binghe does something stupid and the man finds out, how was he going to stop Shizun from killing Liu-shishu later?

Ahhh, it was such a pain!

“A-Luo, Shizun is speaking with you.” Ning Yingying whispered, discreetly pinching his hand.

Luo Binghe suddenly looked around and saw how everyone was waiting for his reply, at the same time realizing he has just let his mind wander again. Shizun’s brow was furrowed in pure anger and it was a miracle he hasn’t come to strangle Luo Binghe yet.

How could he let himself be distracted twice, in the time span of a few seconds, no less?!?! That proved his mental state really wasn’t the best.

“This disciple apologizes.” He said and then quickly bowed, not daring to meet Shizun’s sharp gaze again.

“Oh, you apologize? Do you think apologies change anything? If you kill someone and then apologize, will the person come back to life?”

Ahh, Shizun was doing it again! Making these strange allusions that made Luo Binghe wonder if he knew or not. Because really, what kind of comparison was that? He wasn’t paying attention, not committing murder! The two were very, very different!

“No Shizun, but...”

“So you dare to contradict this master...” Shen Qingqiu murmured with a voice as cold as ice itself.

“No Shizun!”

The man was so easy to anger!

Luo Binghe then finally looked up, almost missing the disappointment that flashed through Shizun’s eyes for a mere fraction of second. Was Shizun disappointed because his disciple contradicted him or because he stopped contradicting him? Sometimes Luo Binghe really wanted a treasure that could read minds! Human interaction was such a difficult task!

“What could this master expect from you? Do you know what a moment of not paying attention means? Or that it could cost your lowly life? If you are so full of yourself and consider you already know everything this master teaches by heart, why don’t you come here and also demonstrate to your martial brothers and sisters?”

Of course he had no idea what Shizun had been teaching!  He didn’t want to be disrespectful, but at that moment he was preoccupied by some more pressing matters...like...the future of the whole world?!

He quietly went towards Shizun, already aware even his bones were going to hurt for the next few days. Shen Qingqiu took a wood sword and cut through the air a few times, looking totally unimpressed. Of course nothing could compare with the famous Xiu Ya!

“Attack this master, prove what you know.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t even take a defensive position, because of course Luo Binghe was no real threat.

This whole situation made Luo Binghe want to be swallowed by the earth right then and there. He took a big breath and surged forward. His cultivation was embarrassingly low, but it wasn’t entirely his fault.... he really couldn’t understand that stupid cultivation manual.

“Not even a barbarian would fight like this.” Shen Qingqiu commented as he was evading one of Luo Binghe’s attacks, which truthfully looked more like a child that was trying to plaster himself on theirs mother’s leg than an actual attack.

But Shizun was evading that stupid thing so gracefully, his robes fluttering in the air, his hair shining in the warm sun and...

“Ouch!” He couldn’t stop the yelp that escaped his throat when he felt a powerful hit in his head, that almost made him see stars.

“You. Are. Again. Not. Paying. Attention!!”

Shizun angrily said and Luo Binghe could literally see how a vein was pulsing on his temple.

“You are a disappointment for this master’s whole peak. Where did you learn all these stupid moves? Are you not even capable of reading a mere manual?”

“This disciple is dumb and didn’t understand the first few pages.” Luo Binghe lied, because he was too ashamed to admit he didn’t understand anything at all. All the other disciples’ eyes were on him, many of them trying to stop themselves from laughing while others smiling with superiority, because they knew, because their cultivation was decent.

“Then, show this master a single set of sword moves you have understood.”

That was... an impossible task.

What if Shizun would kick him out of the Sect when he found out he didn’t know anything about cultivation at all? Wouldn’t that be right? What was a demon doing in a righteous sect anyway? Why was he still staying there, staining Shizun’s reputation with his filthy blood? But on the other side, if he’d leave, no one would help Shizun at the Lingxi Caves.

“This disciple was too stupid.”

“Is good at least you are aware of it. 100 laps around the Peak. And bring the manual to this master when you finish them.”

100 laps? It will take the entire evening to finish them! And he was going to miss the dinner too!!

“Yes, Shizun.” He murmured in reply and then went back at his place near Ning Yingying, trying to stop his racing thoughts.

“Why are you still here? Now you also don’t listen to this master anymore?”

“But Shizun... the lesson....”

“You weren’t paying attention anyway, were you? Better go and do something useful.”

“Yes, Shizun.” He replied again, but this time through gritted teeth. It wasn’t fair! Sometimes Shizun was so unfair to him and he didn’t even understand why!

He started walking away with his fists clenched, overthinking again everything. Why was he so weak and useless? What changing of the future? What was he imagining there? A demon child who knew nothing about cultivation trying to save two peak lords’ life, stop a demon invasion and other disasters from happening and make the world a better place. What nice dreams.

Demon or not he was just a kid! The pressure was starting to get him.

And why 100 laps? They were unfairly many! Shizun just liked punishing others! And especially him!

Around the 75th lap he could barely move, his run turning more into a walk. The sun had started to set long before and the evening’s chill was now freezing the sweat on his back. Why did he have to finish them anyway? It wasn’t like Shizun would stay hid behind a corner and count how many laps did the little beast run. The man has probably forgotten about his existence already and it was also too late to bring the manual as he promised. Better to something else.

He stood before the clear water of the spring and thought if it really was a good idea for his health to bath in cold water. His red face, his disheveled hair were reflected clearly and his brow furrowed seeing how bad he looked.

“What are you doing here?”

Luo Binghe flinched hearing the unexpected voice and because his foot slipped on the rocks from the sudden movement, his body fell right into the cold water. At least he didn’t have to think about what decision to make regarding the washing.

“Shizun!”

“Have you finished your laps?” It seemed Shizun was attracted by every mistake Luo Binghe made, materializing from nowhere to check and then punish him.

“Y-yes!” He sometimes wondered how could he lie without any remorse.

“Is that so? Then why didn’t you bring the manual as this master told you?”

“It-it was late and this disciple thought Shizun had other matters to attend to.”

“So you now decide this master’s schedule?”

“This disciple wouldn’t dare. This disciple will go and take it now.” Luo Binghe said quickly swimming out of the water, his robes wet and in an ugly disarray. He was such a walking mess.

Shen Qingqiu just raised an eyebrow looking half disgusted and half bored.

“No need. Just continue... playing in the mud there. It’s not like your cultivation is important.”

“Shizun, wait!” Luo Binghe dared to talk without thinking, making Shen Qingqiu stop in his tracks and turn around to glance at him unimpressed.

In that moment Luo Binghe did the most reasonable thing he could think of, before Shizun realized he has not finished his laps or decided to punish him again. He started running away through the bamboo forest, without looking back, his face flushed. It was of course a bad idea because the wet robes were uncomfortably clingy and if anyone saw him right then, they would die out of laugher because he looked as if a monster had spited him out after realizing how bad he tasted.

Luo Binghe arrived pretty quickly at the woodshed, considering the fact it was dark outside and he run blindly. He wondered where he found the strength to run again, because he felt he would certainly die if he was going to take another step. Should he go with the manual at Shizun’s bamboo house now? But he didn’t have the energy nor the courage to face the man again. And he still was a mess. Speaking of which, he didn’t have any other set of robes, so he didn’t have anything to change in... and the idea of sleeping naked didn’t sound pleasant either.

He would go the next day to see Shizun. When there were less chances for the aloof immortal to kill him. Did he realize Luo Binghe had not finished his punishment so he came to look after him? That would be bad. Could he go and finish them now? No, he was too close to losing consciousness out of pure exhaustion. Better sleep. Yeah, sleep sounded pretty good.

To go to sleep had been a brilliant idea, to do it in wet clothes.... not so much. What could he need right then more than anything was to.... of course catch a cold. Sure fate loved to laugh at him. At least the robes were now kind of dry. Not totally, his forehead was burning and his whole body was sweating continuously because of the fever. But if he dismissed all the bad sensations caused by such a flu, he was perfectly fine to function that day. He has read somewhere that water helped with high fever, (the irony... considering the fact that water was the main reason that caused the whole situation) so he was going to feel better after drinking some.

Oh, and he still had to show Shizun the manual. Right. He should go before the morning lessons start.

It was so cold outside for a day of summer. How unusual.... It really made him shiver. Were the seasons changing or something?

“A-Luo! A-Luo! Where are you going?” Ning Yingying called him from somewhere in the distance.

“To Shizun.”

“Are you alright?”

“Of course.” Luo Binghe lied, putting an innocent smile on his face. He was getting better and better at all this faking thing. “Why do you ask?”

“You don’t look very good. And your face is so red. Are you sure alright?”

“Totally. Perfectly fine. Ning-shijie shouldn’t worry.”

“If you say so... anyway, why are you going to see Shizun?”

“The manual.” He was finding it harder and harder to talk, it felt like every word took so much energy to form.

“Oh, right. You should go then.”

“Mhm.” He nodded, suddenly recalling that he skipped dinner the previous night and now totally forgot to have breakfast. Probably another bad idea, after all he was very good at having these awful ideas again and again.

He shyly knocked at the door, once, then twice, afraid that maybe Shizun was asleep and he would be angry if Luo Binghe would manage to wake him up with his knocking.

After what seemed like an eternity, he heard a low ‘enter’.

Shizun was already dressed and prepared for the day, looking impeccable as always, even though it was so early in the morning. Exactly what was expected from a pristine Peak Lord.

“So you finally decided to come, little beast? Has the night’s chill put some sense in that head of yours?”

Luo Binghe didn’t reply. Truthfully... he wasn’t even much paying attention because he just couldn’t concentrate at all. Which was very funny. Doing the same mistakes, he certainly was asking for it.

He hardly managed to break out of his trance, putting the manual in front of Shizun on the table and then taking a step back. What he would love if Shizun told him to kneel, he felt exhausted. No. Kneeling wasn’t enough. More like lay dead on the floor.

Shen Qingqiu started to skim through the manual, his face twisting in an ugly frown.

“Who gave you this?”

Luo Binghe was taken aback by the question. Didn’t Shizun give the manual to him? Or so said Ming Fan. Ohh. Yeah, Ming Fan said so....

“Ming-shixiong.”

“It’s not good. Actually, that’s an understatement because this is an entirely garbage. No wonder you couldn’t cultivate at all. You shouldn’t even be alive. This master will give you another one. Despite that small brain of yours you should still be able to go through it and learn.”

Luo Binghe blinked a few times utterly confused.

So the manual was a fake? All this time, all his efforts... were useless? And he believed it was his fault, that he didn’t manage to understand because of his own stupidity.

Ming Fan... that child was another type of shitty person. A trash. How could someone wish somebody’s harm like that? He was aware their relationship was bad, but... too much was too much.

It didn’t matter anymore. At least he was going to have another manual now. Hopefully that was what Shizun was searching through the books on the old shelf.

“Take this and scram. If in two weeks you don’t know it all by heart, this master will kick you out of this sect himself.” Shen Qingqiu threw a manual towards him, the boy clumsily catching it.

“Yes, Shizun. Thank you, Shizun.” Luo Binghe said and then bowed, also making his insides scream in discomfort because of the sudden movement.

He wanted so hard to start laughing. A bitter laugh. How was he supposed to know it in two weeks when to most disciples it took 3 months? Shizun either believed he had some shocking potential or really hated him.

Anyway, there still was some time left before the morning lessons started and he didn’t have any chores that day. He could go and analyze his new manual peacefully.

“What are you holding there?” Ming Fan asked, two of his lackeys stupidly laughing.

Peacefully. Hahaha. He was cursed. Cursed.

“I don’t understand why you care.” He bitterly replied, thinking if there was any energy left in him to run away.

“This is not the way you talk to your seniors.”

“And this is not the way you behave around your juniors.” Luo Binghe snapped irritated, the stupid cold making him feel angry and moody. “I can’t understand why you hate me so much, that you would even try to kill me.”

“What nonsense are you saying? When did I try to kill you?”

“Then why did you give me a fake cultivation manual?”

Ming Fan remained silent.

“You have friends, people generally like you, Shizun appreciates you. You have a good cultivation and are the Head Disciple, future Peak Lord. I have nothing. I’m dumb and my cultivation is awful. Almost everyone in this stupid sect hates me.”

And I’m also a filthy demon that is going to be killed(or just pushed inside hell) by his own Shizun because of his cursed blood.

“So why? You have nothing to be jealous about. I’ve never did anything to you. And besides Ning-shijie no one...” Seeing the other’s frown, Luo Binghe was suddenly hit by the realization. “Wait.... That’s it, right? You like her and she always stays with me. So you are jealous.”

Ming Fan’s lips were pressed in a thin line. “You are stupid and have nothing so why does she like you, but not me?”

“Maybe because I don’t behave like a stupid monkey, enjoying other’s suffering?”

“You!” Ming Fan raised his fist, his face red because of furry.

“Come. Hit me. Kill me already. What are you waiting for? After I die I’m sure Ning-shijie will come running in your arms, thinking what a nice and violent murderer you are.”

Luo Binghe was pissed off. He tried not to think too much about it, but he just couldn’t forget that this kid in front of him really tried to subtly kill him. Kill, murder, take his life. The world was indeed a cruel place. He was tired, tired of things being bad, tired of the suffering and pain he always dismissed as if they’ve never happened in the first place. Tired to pretend other’s bullying was just a small misunderstanding, or that he deserved them all because he was stupid and weak.

“Ning-shijie is a nice girl.” Luo Binghe finally said sighing. “If you care about her, you should try to show it more and not come to bully me because of your own frustration. And you should accept her feelings. You can’t force her to like you.”

“Do you.. do you think she likes me?” Ming Fan asked looking embarrassed around.

“I don’t know and I don’t care.” Luo Binghe replied bitterly and turned to walk away. He already felt better. After this discussion, all the anger caused mostly by the fever seemed to have dimmed. Adrenaline was really something. 

Fortunately, Ming Fan didn’t follow him nor did he try to throw a rock or something in his head. Wasn’t this some precious progress?

Should he maybe go and visit Mu-shishu? His eyes were burning and his head was hurting...

No. There were other people who had it much worse. Who have been injured and needed treatment more than himself. Mu-shishu would believe he was just a weak child that couldn’t even withstand a mere cold. And then Shizun would find out he was weak in more than one way.

Luo Binghe still had the salve from Shizun but that treated flesh injuries, not internal ones. He just needed to take some rest later and everything was going to be be fine.

“A-Luo, have you spoken with Shizun?” Ning Yingying started to cling on his arm, shaking him.

“Yes.”

“Was he angry?”

“No. He gave me a better one.”

“Oh, what problem did your manual have?”

“I don’t know. Shizun just gave me a new one, saying it’s more suited than the old one.”

“Oh, I see.”

He should have told her what Ming Fan did, what truly happened, but... he couldn’t. And anyway, his problems were his to deal with.

“Today, this master will test your music skills. Let’s see what you’ve learned.” Shen Qingqiu announced and all the smiles instantly disappeared. The Peak Lord was known for his moody personality, so clearly he wasn’t going to like anyone’s playing skills and they would be punished to copy tens of books.

They were staying all in a row, waiting for their turn. The sun was shining brightly and its rays seemed to be hotter than usual. A cold morning and a very hot noon. Of course he did not consider the possibility of too high of a fever instead of dubious weather. A mistake again, because he was finding it harder and harder to breath.

Soon enough he started to feel how his body was slowly failing him. A wave of dizziness suddenly took over, making the whole world spin uncontrollably. He tried to close his eyes and take a big breath to stop the nausea, but that just made it worse, amplifying the awful sensation. His body was so heavy, even his clothes seemed to weigh him down and the next thing he knew was his head hitting the hard ground and Ning Yingying’s worried voice, calling his name, but all that noise was too far away to discern what was happening. He couldn’t even feel his body anymore.

Maybe he should have gone to Qian Cao Peak after all.