Work Text:
George was thinking about Janet. How did he like her anyway? They had nothing in common except... gum? And what he didn't get was why he was so bothered that she looked like Jerry. I mean, it's like I dated his sister! George thought. What he also didn't get was why he was feeling all weird that moment. His heart was racing, his legs were trembling. He didn't feel well. Actually, he felt terrible. He also felt this strange weight on his chest as he did something he felt guilty about. But he didn't do anything to feel guilty about. He didn't even feel guilty about breaking up with Janet, they weren't a big deal anyway. Wait... no. It couldn't be. No, no, no, hell no. What the hell was he thinking? Jer-? He couldn't even say his full name in his mind. Oh no. Holy sweet Moses. It's not that he never thought of men in that way, but J-Jerry? Seriously? No. Oh no. Wait. Did he just admit to himself that he may like men? But he also liked women! Can you actually like both? But actually if you think about it, being with a man, it shouldn't be that bad... who pays when you're on a date anyway? The wealthiest of the two? Well, then it won't ever be me! He said smirking. Then he thought about all the days spent with Jerry at the coffee shop talking about nothing and everything. It made him feel good. While thinking about all these things he noticed that he unconsciously started to smile. Was that it? Is that what he was trying to hide from himself all this time? Was really one of his mind's unsolvable mysteries finally cracked? Was it that easy? It couldn't be. It couldn't be so simple. Nothing that was going in his mind was ever that easy. It wasn't. What would Jerry think of this? Oh no. He couldn't tell him how he felt. What if Jerry pushed him away? What if he would never ever wanted to see him again? And what about his parents? He shuddered. His parents have messed him up in so many ways that coming out to them would have been the end for him. What about Jerry though? He always cared for him, in his own way. Despite how weird and insane he was, Jerry always stood by his side. He was always there for him. Not that their friendship was sentimental, in fact it was the opposite, but there was always some kind of affection going on with them. Jerry was kind of good-looking as well, George thought. He remembered that one day where he saw his eyes catching the sunlight. They were so beautiful. He had this feeling he never felt before, like a soft nice warmth starting from his chest and going all over his body. A ray of sunshine made it through the thick clouds and entered the window. Maybe the whole coming out thing wouldn't have been that bad. Maybe he could tell him about his feelings in the future. Maybe he would have taken one step at a time.
