Chapter Text
It wasn’t a new occurrence, by any means, but it was one that had grown in frequency as of late.
“Do you want breakfast before you go?”
At 8:30 on a Saturday morning, Reiner watches as Eren prepares to head out without so much as sparing his own husband a glance.
“I’m in a rush, but thanks. Don’t wait up for me later.”
Eren smoothly readjusts his bag before reaching for the doorknob, the leather strap moving sleeve away to reveal a glimmering silver watch Reiner's never seen before. From behind the kitchen counter, the blond man furrows his already-terse brows, incapable of shaking off the growing discomfort in his gut.
At this point in time, the coldness and distance in their marriage could already be considered normal. They rarely exchanged more than 2 sentences at a time, and didn’t even sleep in the same room anymore. Eren had his own job and personal life outside the house, and so did Reiner. If it wasn’t for the fact that the two still lived under the same roof, none of their friends would even guess that they were still together.
Sighing, Reiner turns his head towards the calendar, absentmindedly tracing the edge of his black and white countertop as he swipes his phone screen. The cool, smooth texture of the marble slides underneath his fingertips as he dials up his most recent contact.
After the third ring, the call was picked up.
“Yo, it’s Ymir. Hisu’s getting Falco dressed, she’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Cocking a brow, Reiner holds up his watch to check the time. Historia was running a bit late today.
“Alright then, tell her to take her time.”
On the other line, Ymir grumbles about how she still wouldn’t rush Historia even if he said otherwise. Reiner regularly forgets how much of a morning person Ymir wasn’t.
After a solid few minutes, the other line emits a shuffling noise as Historia finally got on.
“Hey, sorry for the wait. Falco wouldn’t fall asleep last night so he was extra fussy today.”
Reiner feels the corners of his lips quirk up at the mental image, letting out a chuckle. “He must’ve gotten that from me, I was a bit of a needy kid growing up.”
“Yeah, I figured as much. No way that would’ve flown by with my mom.”
“How's he holding up now?”
“He’s calmed down enough, Ymir’s feeding him those animal crackers again. I’m trying to get him to cut down on the snacks, but Ymir cracks easily when the baby cries—”
Reiner’s mind goes a little blank at the mention of Ymir’s interactions with Falco. It wasn’t that he had a problem with her, if anything, it was the opposite. Ymir was brash and crude around other adults, but she was patient and caring enough with Falco—everything that Reiner could ask for in a step-parent in all honesty. Still, her warm attitude made for a painful comparison when he thought about how Eren acted around Falco.
Eren would never care for Falco like Ymir. He was already angry enough when Reiner tried to give Gabi’s old room to Falco. The fight that followed ended up with them splitting sleeping quarters indefinitely. Eren moved into Gabi’s room, leaving Reiner behind in their old room.
Falco still got his own space, but conflict over Gabi’s room made for strained interactions between them. Eren wouldn’t mistreat him at the very least, but he would also never take the initiative to engage with his stepson.
“—We’ll be there in about an hour, you don’t have anything urgent do you?”
Reiner pauses, finally recollecting himself. “No, nothing in the way. An hour’s perfect. I’ll see you guys soon.”
After a quick goodbye, Reiner hangs up, fingers still hovering over his phone as he turns his head to look at the barely-used dining table on his right. Past the furniture, he spots the mounted picture of his now-fractured family from years past.
Home life wasn’t always like this.
There was a time when he and Eren were happy together. Healthy, functional—open even—like a real couple. They met and fell in love under normal circumstances, starting as college friends with an undeniable attraction for one another. Eren, a particular vivacious and outspoken Omega junior and Reiner, his reliable and charismatic Alpha senior.
It was clear to all their friends that they were serious about each other, so when Eren got pregnant a few months shy of graduation, no one was surprised. Reiner was lined up for a reliable-enough full-time job offer and combined with the fact that their feelings were at their peak, it felt like a no brainer to get married.
But then things started going to shit.
It didn’t happen immediately, of course. Reiner couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that things began to fall apart, but there were many things that soured after their daughter’s health showed signs of decline.
Bertolt had told him, of course, that it was bound to happen. See, Reiner had issues, has issues with his own demons long before Eren came along—not that it excused any of his later actions. He was born to a single mother, a bitterly scorned woman, who drilled it into his head that it was his responsibility to bring his father back, reunite the family, make everyone happy. He had to be the perfect son, the perfect friend, the perfect leader, and then… the perfect partner.
Truth to be told, he didn’t even like Eren that much when they first started dating. He wasn’t the sweetest or most amiable Omega (that was his type, ok?), and in Reiner’s opinion, only had his looks going for him. But Eren admired him, respected him like no one else. It was easy to please him, bolstering Reiner's own confidence and self-worth, motivating him to keep up this perfect image and relationship.
Before he knew it, the line between pretense and sincerity blurred into an unrecognizable haze. What was real and what was fake? Did he like Eren because he was a convenient accessory, or was it because of the warmth that Eren’s soft, honeyed hands provided?
Reiner could see it then, how much he came to truly love his Omega. It was liberating, to fill a role because he had the heart for it as opposed to doing so out of duty. For what felt like the first time in his life, Reiner didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to lie and wallow in his guilt of being an empty shell.
They’d been happy for a long time, so when Gabi was suddenly diagnosed with a chronic disease, Reiner wondered if this was the price he had to pay for the brief period of paradise he had with his beloved family.
He and Eren grew apart, too frantic to get things in order for Gabi’s treatment, brimming with anxiety to cover the costs as inexperienced new parents. In their crisis, they began to fight more, Reiner remembers leaving the house almost as often as Eren does these days.
Eren still blames him for what happened that night.
There were times when Reiner wanted to snap and lash out at him, to scream and tell her that even if he were there with them that night, Gabi would still leave. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Reiner couldn’t say it because deep down, he knew he deserved his resentment and condemnation.
That night… Gabi breathed her last without seeing her father for the last time, Eren trying his best not to cry his lungs out next to her. Reiner didn’t know until the morning after, rushing to hospital only to find his soulless wife caressing the head of their lifeless child underneath the sterile white sheet.
Back in the kitchen, Reiner turns his head to look at the calendar on the fridge, eyes flickered over the contents before he sinks into thought again.
It was his turn to have Falco over this week, meaning Eren was about to make himself even more scarce.
Falco was his and Historia’s 2-year-old son, born almost 3 years into his marriage with Eren. Anyone with half a mind would be able to guess that his birth didn’t happen under the most normal circumstances, but Reiner loved Falco with all his heart and still hoped Eren would eventually come to tolerate him.
Their marriage was already strained from Gabi’s diagnosis, and Eren wouldn’t look him in the eye for months after they buried their daughter. They had a nuclear screaming match when he found out about Historia, with several choice words being thrown around that day. Reiner tried to explain that it was an accident, a one-time thing—cliche as that sounded, but Eren wouldn’t have it.
He left home for a good few weeks, but still came back in the end. Despite how they’d been treating each other, Reiner still loved him. Jean, Connie, and maybe even Armin would probably lose their shit and jump him if he ever dared to say something like that out loud considering what he put Eren through, but it was the truth.
They’d had a fight that night, when he went to see Historia. Angry and in need of emotional support, Reiner had spent the evening at his Omega friend’s place. She unknowingly went into heat the same night, and in his drunken stupor, Reiner couldn’t even recall how they ended up tangled in her sheets the next morning.
Eren doesn’t forgive him. Eren’s friends and even Annie won't speak to him unless necessary. Reiner knew he fucked up, but the fact that no one was willing to even allow him a chance to atone drove him insane with desperation.
Deep into the night, there were times when he would instinctively reach for a body that had long left. Reiner clings on to any bit of hope he could find. Eren’s apathy couldn’t last forever, could it? He always gave in whenever Reiner vetoed a separation, so deep down, Eren still had to love him too.
Reiner is unwilling, so against entertaining even the thought of a future without Eren. If he really left, then… Reiner would be left with no choice but to kill himself, right? Eren hasn’t given on him yet, he couldn’t.
Reiner has to help him heal, help him forgive and move on for everyone’s sake. But after so much time, why was it that Eren was still so indifferent? Marriage counseling didn’t work, time apart didn’t work, hell—even Reiner’s idea to try for another baby again was (very angrily) shot down as soon as it left his mouth. Their distance grew, and before long, Eren became unrecognizable.
It was like a switch had been flipped after Gabi left them. The passionate, rambunctious Eren who wore his heart on his sleeve turned impassive and restrained overnight. It became rare for him to lose his temper over anything unrelated to Gabi. He would only speak in this soft, calm, yet eerily detached tone whenever Reiner was around. His expressions became muted, his outbursts non-existent; the once-blazing fire in his eyes dimming down to a flickering flame.
Once Falco was old enough to visit, Eren would have that cool, unperturbed look in his eyes whenever he saw the child. It was as if he wasn’t even bothered by how Falco was conceived, but Eren’s eagerness to leave the house when he was there gave him away.
Eren had never spent any time with Falco alone (not that Falco was old enough to wonder why or even care). Reiner had hoped that he would eventually warm up to him, even if Eren couldn’t see Falco as his own son. That hope amounted to nothing, but he was still grateful that at the very least, Eren would never do anything to purposely hurt anyone’s feelings.
It wasn’t unusual for him to spend a night or two at Sasha’s or Armin’s when Falco was home. Reiner was afraid of stirring up more of Eren’s resentment, so he never pushed him to change those habits.
It was becoming apparent to him now that giving Eren so much space didn’t actually cool him off. On the contrary, it had wedged an even bigger rift, one that Reiner could see no easy way of closing.
Sighing as he leaves his seat, Reiner moves to pour his half-empty mug into the sink, the wedding band on his left hand clinking against the handle as he grips it.
It wasn’t time yet. He couldn’t push Eren any more than this for now; it might make him blow up again if something went wrong. Things were a bit awkward between them at the moment, but it was considerably better than it was when Gabi’s passing was still fresh. Eren’s new job at that German firm made him more patient and mellow at home, something Reiner has been very grateful for.
He glances down at his watch again. It’ll be some time until Historia and Ymir arrive with Falco, so Reiner figured he might as well get some work down. Depending on his luck, Eren might even text back to tell him he was coming home, and that was always something that Reiner looked forward to, damper as it might sound.