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2021-01-26
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falling, frozen, slowly thawing

Summary:

This urges a faint smile from Tooru and he unhesitatingly opens his arms wide for Hajime. The latter’s face softens at once at the sight and heads straight towards Tooru, jumping in his arms like an eager boy.

“How’s my baby feeling? Hmm?” Hajime asks, pulling away so he could look at Tooru’s face wholly. “Better now?”

Tooru nods, as he fondly stares into Hajime’s eyes. The small smile on Tooru’s face is genuine. And he knows Hajime knows that.

Oikawa’s had a bad day, but thankfully, Iwaizumi knew how to make it better.

Notes:

title is from ariana grande's song pov <3 enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

[ ♡ ]

 

 

“I’m home.”

 

Tooru slams the door behind him—perhaps a little harder than he intended, but he’s far too irritated to even feel an ounce of guilt inside of him.

 

He’s had a shit day and it’s not the door’s fault nor is it his boyfriend’s, but it seems as if those two are going to be the ones who are going to be dealing with Tooru’s unwanted behavior.

 

While he’s taking off his shoes by the genkan, he sees Hajime’s figure from the corner of his eye. His boyfriend is currently seated on the couch with his laptop placed on the coffee table and when Tooru fully glances at him, it seems as if he’s on a call with someone too.

 

Hajime furrows his brows at him while his phone is pressed onto his ear and for a second, Tooru feels a bit embarrassed of how he’s acting, but that only lasts for a second.

 

Because, once again, he’s reminded of what happened hours prior.

 

“You okay?” Hajime mouths at him as he walks past.

 

Tooru only nods, not wanting to prolong their conversation any further. He wants nothing but to hide underneath his covers, away from everyone. He’s not in the mood to pretend he’s fine and he’s also not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment.

 

He feels the weight of Hajime’s gaze on his back when he opens the doorknob to his own room. He knows that alone is strange enough because —fuck—the last time he’d gone straight to his own room after having a long day was a month ago .

 

Back when he and Hajime were only roommates and nothing more than that. Back when he and Hajime weren’t dating yet. Back when he didn’t climb over to Hajime’s bed just so he could nestle himself in his boyfriend’s arms every night. 

 

Tooru closes the door behind him—being gentle with it this time since he’s aware that Hajime is on a phone call, and if he were to repeat what he did with their front door earlier, that’s just him acting rude and obnoxious. And he’s not trying to act rude or anything in that manner— Jesus , all he wants to do is rest and have some personal space .

 

After dropping his bag to the floor, he immediately hides underneath the warmth of his covers and buries his face in his pillows. All the fatigue he’d been carrying in his body throughout the entire day almost disappears in an instant.

 

Almost , because while his body’s muscles are slowly relaxing, there’s still a fragment of ache in the middle of his chest. He doesn’t know how to get rid of it nor does he have the energy to try and distract himself from the cause of his distress.

 

After what feels like five minutes, he hears three faint knocks coming from the other side of his door and he turns his head a bit to the side to look.

 

He sees Hajime’s head peeking from the door that’s slightly open—concern evidently etched onto his features.

 

“What happened?” Hajime asks as he opens the door wider so he can let himself in.

 

When Tooru doesn’t answer, he sits on the narrow, unoccupied space of the bed and delicately cards through Tooru’s soft, brown locks with his fingers. The action makes Tooru’s throat tighten a little and he finds himself closing his eyes just so he could immerse himself in the sensation even further.

 

All because of Hajime’s gentle hands, e could sense the familiar burn that’s starting to form in the corners of his eyes. God, it’s been so long since he cried over something and when he finally does, it’s over something so trivial ? God fucking damn it.

 

“Nothing…” Tooru croaks out.

 

“You sure?” Hajime asks. His tone is trickling with sympathy, almost as if he’s trying to coax his boyfriend out of his shell.

 

Tooru can’t help but flutter his eyes open because of that, only pausing momentarily when the first thing that greets him is Hajime’s stare.

 

Hajime’s eyes have always been expressive—for Tooru, at least. Tooru had no trouble deciphering the emotions shown in his partner’s eyes because the latter had no problems baring himself vulnerable whenever it came to Tooru in any case.

 

And right now, Hajime looks very troubled. He looks like he’s dying to know what’s causing Tooru this kind of stress.

 

A small part of Tooru wants to tell Hajime about what’s bothering him but the bigger part of him is telling himself that he has no energy to do so. That he needs to rest and it’s better if he’s left alone for a while.

 

“I…” Tooru trails off, “don’t wanna talk about it…”

 

Yet.

 

He wishes to follow it up with that single word but the silence between them stretches for a long time and he chooses to bite his lower lip and stay silent.

 

For a moment, he panics. He and Hajime have only been dating for a month. That’s why they’re still fumbling around each other’s habits most of the time, getting a feel of each other’s likes and dislikes and the lot. 

 

Tooru’s ex had ridiculed this specific behavior of his countless times before. Kept saying Tooru didn’t trust him enough to tell him what’s bothering him and that they’re each other’s confidants, so Tooru should have no problem sharing it in the first place. 

 

It’s not that Tooru didn’t trust him enough, no, it has never been about that.

 

He just needs space because that’s how he deals with his problems. He needs his own personal space to think, to rest, and to pick himself back up. Being Tooru’s significant other doesn’t magically give them an exception from that.

 

He didn’t deem it as a bad habit at first but his ex-partner made him feel like it was, so now he’s getting even more stressed at the thought of Hajime misunderstanding the whole thing just like his ex did and—

 

“Okay.”

 

Tooru blinks owlishly, thinking he heard it wrong.

 

“Okay,” Hajime repeats, softer this time, while his thumb caresses Tooru’s cheekbone soothingly. “Do you need me here?”

 

Tooru swallows the lump in his throat before shaking his head a little.

 

“I just… want to be alone… for a while, if that’s okay.”

 

“Of course that’s okay,” Hajime brushes his hair out of his forehead. “I’ll order some Udon and maybe Tempura if you want to come out later, alright?”

 

This time, Tooru could really feel the tears brimming in his eyes because for the first time today, he feels understood .

 

“Thank you,” He gulps when his voice cracks in the middle of the sentence. “I’m… sorry.”

 

“Shh,” Hajime shushes him as if he’s gently scolding him for apologizing. “You’re doing nothing wrong, baby. You shouldn’t apologize.”

 

Then, Hajime leans down so he could leave a light kiss on his forehead and another one on his nose. It makes Tooru curl up a little.

 

“I’ll be going now…” Hajime stands up, and the bed creaks at the movement. “Call me if you need me. Or text me, if that’s easier for you.”

 

Tooru nods at that and Hajime turns around so he can exit his boyfriend’s room. When the door finally closes and Tooru’s once again left alone with nothing but the weight of the heavy silence, oddly enough he feels a little better.

 

Hajime had understood him completely and had given him the space he wanted and somehow, that makes Tooru breathe easier.

 

He feels something vibrate underneath his stomach and that’s when he realized his phone has been there the whole entire time because he’d forgotten to pull it out of his hoodie’s pockets.

 

Initially, he was planning to just grab his phone and put it on the side table but when the contact name of the person who just texted him grabs his attention, he opens it in an instant.



from: iwa-chan <3

forgot to say this while i was in there

 

from: iwa-chan <3
but i love you



Those three words tug at Tooru’s heart intensely and he lets out a shaky laugh before typing out his reply.



to: iwa-chan <3

i love u most :(

 

from: iwa-chan <3

take all the time you need baby

 

from: iwa-chan <3

i’ll be here when you need me



Tooru puts his phone down after that. He turns his whole body around so he’s now lying on his back and facing his ceiling.

 

He stays in that position for probably an hour or so—though it felt like days . It’s easy to lose track of time when you slowly drown in a myriad of thoughts and feelings.

 

(Though, he does feel significantly better after wallowing in them for a long time.)

 

This is how he copes with things. As weird or unusual as it is to other people, Tooru believes it’s only normal. He knows how to make himself feel better all by himself and that’s what he’s used to. Venting helps too—he knows that because he’d done that numerous times ever since he was a kid but he always , always needs that sliver of time where he’s inside his own little bubble with no one else to bother him before he talks it out with someone else.

 

That’s mainly why he had commitment issues after he ended his last relationship. He enjoyed the personal time within his reach because for some reason, people in relationships nowadays lose their sense of individuality and their dependency on their partners highly intensifies. Maybe for others, that was romantic but for Tooru, that’s the biggest part of dating that irked him the most. 

 

He vowed that he wouldn’t date again unless he was ready to settle down.

 

But there goes Iwaizumi Hajime.

 

Hajime was the breath of fresh air Tooru never thought he needed in his world full of vines that threatened to crush his windpipe until he suffocates.

 

They started out as roommates—complete strangers—back in their first year in university. Hajime never crossed any lines, utterly respectful of Tooru’s space and mature enough to not hog any part of their apartment to himself. He cleans up after his own mess and he’s what you would call the ideal roommate.

 

Tooru liked to think not only was Hajime the ideal roommate, he also happens to be Tooru’s ideal man.

 

Sighing to himself, he blindly reaches for his phone on his bedside table so he can open his inbox.



to: iwa-chan <3
hi pls come here rn ?? (๑◕︵◕๑)

 

to: iwa-chan <3

hugs pls



His messages were marked read not even less than a minute after he’d sent it and the next thing he knows is there’s someone knocking on his door again and Hajime’s spiked-up hair is peeking from behind the door when it starts opening slowly.

 

This urges a faint smile from Tooru and he unhesitatingly opens his arms wide for Hajime. The latter’s face softens at once at the sight and heads straight towards Tooru, jumping in his arms like an eager boy.

 

Tooru finds himself sighing in relief when he feels Hajime’s weight on top of him, he’s heavy but very comfortable. When his boyfriend buries his face in Tooru’s neck and starts nuzzling his jaw, Tooru giggles quietly.

 

“How’s my baby feeling? Hmm?” Hajime asks, pulling away so he could look at Tooru’s face wholly. “Better now?”

 

Tooru nods, as he fondly stares into Hajime’s eyes. The small smile on Tooru’s face is genuine. And he knows Hajime knows that.

 

(Because he can differentiate Tooru’s real smiles from his fake ones.)

 

“Want to eat, then? Dinner arrived twenty minutes ago.”

 

Hajime presses a mild kiss on the side of his forehead and Tooru’s lashes flutter close at that.

 

“No…” Tooru murmurs against his boyfriend’s skin. “Can you lie down here with me for a while?”

 

Hajime hums in affirmation before a small chuckle escapes his lips.

 

“Alright, but you got to move, babe. I’m not exactly comfortable with this position.”

 

Tooru moves to the side, not letting go of Hajime’s waist for even a second, and the latter lays himself down beside him. Hajime fixes the covers on top of them for a few seconds while Tooru busies himself by hiding his face in his boyfriend’s chest.

 

For some reason, Hajime’s scent comforts him so much .

 

“How’re you feeling?” Hajime asks again, once he’s comfortable in his position—lying on his side so he can face Tooru.

 

His voice is soft and quiet and soothing and it is exactly what Tooru needs right now.

 

“A bit better,” he answers, “Just had a long day is all.”

 

“Mhm,” Hajime hums, letting his fingers run through Tooru’s hair again and Tooru loves it. 

 

He loves the feeling of Hajime’s hands on him. He loves the comfort Hajime’s hands bring him.

 

“My last class ended pretty badly,” Tooru murmurs, starting to feel the resentment arise in his chest yet again.

 

“What happened?” Hajime questions but doesn’t demand. “Is this about the report you’ve been preparing for since last week?”

 

Tooru doesn’t reply right away but when he does, it’s only a brief, “Yeah.”

 

“If you’re comfortable, you can tell me about it,” Hajime tells him. “I’m all ears.”

 

Tooru takes a deep inhale.

 

“It was… It just upset me so badly because I’ve put so much effort into that presentation because I knew the whole class was going to see and there were going to be panelists too, alongside my professor. And I’ve inquired my professor about it too, a week ago. I’ve asked for his opinions if something needed to be revised and… and he said the presentation was already fine and, fuck , he looked so satisfied saying it too. He looked proud, Hajime.”

 

He pauses and looks up into his boyfriend’s eyes and he sees that Hajime’s intently listening to him, waiting for him to continue.

 

“But when I finally presented… in front of everyone too. The panelists commented about what I did was horribly wrong and—and the character designs I made were not ‘that’ original. And my professor had the audacity to fucking agree. He agreed like that was his first time seeing my designs. He agreed to what the panelists had said as if he didn’t look me straight in the eye and tell me that my presentation was already fine.”

 

“Wait, you’re telling me that when you asked for revisions, the professor told you your works were fine?”

 

Tooru nods.

 

“But during the presentation, he threw you under the bus?”

 

Tooru nods again, the frown on his brows becoming increasingly apparent as each second passes by.

 

“What a fucking asshole.”

 

The curse tumbles harshly out of Hajime’s mouth and a heavy crease forms in between his brows.

 

“If he told me there was already something wrong with my designs before I even presented them then that would have been fine for me. But I did ask him for revisions and he said there were none and…” Tooru falters. “Somehow it still feels like my fault.”

 

“It’s definitely not your fault though,” Hajime sounded a bit peeved but Tooru knows it’s not intended at him. “That shitass professor already cleared your work. You were under the impression that there weren’t any revisions needed. He should’ve stood up for you.”

 

Hearing this takes a huge weight off Tooru’s shoulders. At least, there’s somebody who understands where he’s coming from. Fuck his professor who practically threw him under the bus, and fuck the people in that class who looked at him stupid when he was done presenting like he should’ve known his mistake from the beginning.

 

Someone understands where he’s coming from, and that’s the most important thing.

 

“This whole day was just me running around campus because my classes were all over the place and that was already enough to put me in a bad mood but that incident … It just made me really upset…” Tooru voices out truthfully. 

 

And he worries that maybe he’s being a little too sensitive or that he simply can’t accept criticism but—

 

“You have every right to be,” Hajime tells him, “What you’re feeling right now is valid. You’re not at fault here, not even one bit.”

 

It’s quiet between them for a few moments and Tooru feels lighter than he’s ever felt today. Usually, it isn’t this easy to make him feel better in a snap but it’s as if Hajime has no problems doing it—and he could even do it with his eyes closed as if he knew Tooru like the back of his hand.

 

“Thank you, Iwa-chan,” Tooru whispers.

 

Hajime pulls away slightly just so he can tilt Tooru’s chin upwards so he can see the younger male’s eyes. Tooru stares back at him with his bottom lip somewhat jutted out and it’s almost as if he’s pouting.

 

“What’re you thanking me for?” Hajime dotes on him, mouth curving upwards.

 

(And, dear God, his eyes look so fond. Tooru would stare at his eyes for a whole day if he was given the chance.)

 

“For understanding where I’m coming from.”

 

Hajime frowns at that, looking both amused and confused at the same time. Then he shakes his head and thumbs on Tooru’s cheekbone slowly.

 

He tells him, “No need to thank me for that.”

 

But Tooru shakes his head.

 

“I’m also thanking you for giving me time to be alone.”

 

Hajime sighs upon hearing that and he combs through Oikawa’s hair again, loving how soft it feels underneath his palm. He sees the younger male close his eyes at the affection he’s receiving and, fuck , seeing Tooru relax beneath his touch is enough to make his heart pleased and giddy.

 

“No need to thank me for that either,” Hajime sincerely mutters.

 

When Tooru flutters his eyes open, he weakly grabs Hajime’s hand on his head and puts it on top of his cheek. And then he turns his head to leave soft, delicate kisses on the calloused skin of his boyfriend’s palm.

 

“I thought you were going to push me or force me to tell you what happened,” Tooru murmurs against Hajime’s palm.

 

“Your body language was screaming you wanted to be left alone. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean we can’t have boundaries anymore.”

 

Tooru blinks, feeling a hard tug in his chest because of Hajime’s words. Something inside of him clicks. Hajime gets it. Hajime feels the same way.

 

“Just because we’re together doesn’t mean we can’t have boundaries anymore?” he repeats.

 

“Mhm,” Hajime bites his lower lip, “Just because I’m your significant other doesn’t mean I get free reign to push you into doing things you’re not comfortable with.”

 

Tooru stares at his boyfriend in awe and Hajime looks back at him, confused as to why he looks so… shocked. 

 

Tooru doesn’t give him another second to think because he pulls Hajime in for a kiss. It’s soft. His lips move against Hajime’s in a very delicate manner.

 

Hajime draws back just so he could angle his head better and he dives in for a kiss again. This time, it’s deeper and they’re both fervid about it. Hajime cups his jaw with his hand and thumbs at his cheek gently.

 

Tooru lets out a weak moan when Hajime subtly bites on his lower lip, pulling it back a bit with a chuckle.

 

Hajime pulls away completely, grinning at the way Tooru’s cheeks are much more flushed right now compared to how it looked minutes ago. When he opens his eyes, they’re half-lidded and it’s like he’s asking for more.

 

“Hungry?” Hajime asks.

 

Tooru bites his lower lip, gaze lowering down to Hajime’s soft, red lips.

 

“Yeah,” he croaks out, sounding so sensual that Hajime has to move away from their embrace entirely with a laugh.

 

“ Stupid , I meant dinner,” Hajime stands up from the bed, offering a hand for his boyfriend who’s currently pouting at him with a frown. “Come on, we’ll reheat the food.”

 

Tooru sighs dramatically before saying, “I’ll only stand up from this bed if you piggyback me.”

 

“Are you serious?” Hajime asks incredulously.

 

He’s only met with Tooru’s challenging stare—that infamous eyebrow raise, of course. Therefore, Hajime has no other choice but to turn around and kneel down so he can offer his back for Tooru to climb on.

 

“Aha~” Tooru says cheekily as he puts both of his arms on Hajime’s shoulders and his legs on Hajime’s waist, “Iwa-chan’s so weak for me~!”

 

Once Tooru is on his back, he grips on the back of the younger male’s thighs—securing him—before standing up. Hajime’s pretty strong himself but Tooru’s literally a grown-ass man who’s currently plastered on his back so it’s completely normal for him to lose his balance a little.

 

Tooru squeaks, “Iwa-chan, be careful! You’re being sloppy.”

 

“You’re just too heavy.”

 

That earns him a smack on his chest and Hajime bites his lip to stop the smile from escaping his lips.

 

“Go forth, my soldier!” Tooru yells, pointing towards his door that’s been left open.

 

He hears Hajime’s hushed laugh and not even a second later, Tooru’s already laughing as well because Hajime’s speeding up and pretending like they’re really about to go to war when in reality, they’re just heading towards their kitchen.

 

His sour mood is long forgotten, now replaced with a full and happy heart.

 

Oikawa’s had a bad day, but thankfully , Iwaizumi knew how to make it better.

 

 

[ ♡ ]

Notes:

thank u for reading my work slash brainrot that i can't remove from my mind since days ago heheh i hope u enjoyed! sorry if there are mistakes btw, i don't have any beta hehe :(

kudos / comments r very very appreciated i would like to know what u think ab this fic :]

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