Chapter Text
“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you,” Sizhui says with the practiced calm of a Lan disciple, “for a minute there I thought you said you wanted to set up your father with Sect Leader Yao.”
Jingyi laughs. At his side, Jin Ling clicks his tongue as if scoffing at Sizhui even contemplating such absurdities.
If anyone asked, Zizhen would say that’s a little much. Hurtful, even. When has he been wrong with these things? Had he not told Jin Ling back in Yuping that Wei-qianbei and Hanguang-Jun were in love? He shakes his head. “No, you heard it right the first time.”
“What,” Jingyi chokes on his tea. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Listen, I know how this sounds,” he rushes, patting him on the back, and turning pleading eyes towards the others, “but just hear me out for a second!”
“Alright,” Sizhui agrees, because Sizhui is the best of them, even if he’s making a face. Zizhen will forgive him this time. “I assume we’re missing something?”
Oh, they’re missing something alright. Missing the years of putting up with Sect Leader Yao finding excuses to visit and then Zizhen’s dad sighing around the house when he leaves. “Thank you,” he says primly. With the attention on him, Zizhen puts on his best storyteller voice, “okay, look. I know they’re both very, uh, difficult people, to say the least, but this story starts before any of us were born.”
“You’re making it sound like some great love story,” Jingyi eyes him dubiously.
“That’s because it is!” He says excitedly, “I heard it from the Head Cook. She’s like, ancient, she’s been working on the manor since dad was my age. She said dad and Sect Leader Yao have known each other since they were kids. Like, best friends. Inseparable.”
“Sure,” Jin Ling squints, “that doesn’t mean anything, though.”
“Right, but” he grins, knowing they’re all invested in this now, “Sect Leader Yao never married and after mom died, dad never remarried either. And look, Yao-shushu has just always been around. It’s just one of those things that we always thought was normal until we realized maybe not everyone’s best friend keeps visiting every week and having long moments of eye contact over the dinner table.”
“Wow,” Sizhui coughs, “that’s– that’s a lot to unpack.”
“And it’s not even the whole thing!” Zizhen pours them all more tea, giving a dramatic pause for better effect, “lately, it has been worse. Usually, we’re all desensitized to the pining by now, but ever since the second siege of the Burial Mounds, it’s been painful. Sect Leader Yao is constantly dropping by to, and I quote, reminisce about the old days, and dad just– he smiles. They sit in the gazebo near the river and watch the sunset, and then dad calls us all for dinner and keeps either sighing into his glass of wine or asking about our day. I think my sister might punch him one of these days if this goes on much longer.”
Zizhen pauses, looking up expectantly. “So you see? We have to do something!”
There is silence.
It’s a very loud silence, especially with the way Sizhui and Jingyi are looking at each other and then at Jin Ling like they’re all talking through their eyebrows or something, but Zizhen holds his ground. If his friends won’t help him in this quest to help the course of true love and also prevent his jiejie from killing herself with a chopstick at the dinner table, then, well. Guess Zizhen will just have to do it himself. Maybe Sect Leader Jiang would be amenable to helping? Surely, he would see how having both Sect Leaders busy with each other would be great to his blood pressure.
Zizhen has some vague memories of accompanying his father to a conference at Lotus Pier when he was a toddler and wandering off to look at the lakes just to be picked up before he could topple into the water. Sect Leader Jiang had shaken him a little by the armpits and asked if he had lost his tiny little head. Zizhen had wanted to see the purple snake. The memory gets hazy after that, but he remembers being handed lotus seeds to snack on while they searched for his dad, so he thinks that maybe if he plays his cards right–
“Zizhen,” Sizhui says very patiently, “are you sure about this? I mean. Just. Sect Leader Yao?”
“Look, what he means is Sect Leader Yao is the worst,” Jingyi cuts in, grimacing, “are you sure you want to set up your father with that?”
“Honestly,” he shrugs, “it can’t get any worse. Anything would be an improvement.”
Jin Ling makes a considering noise. “Do you think that would make them less annoying at meetings?”
Sensing an opening, Zizhen nods enthusiastically. “Absolutely. They’ll just distract each other. Think about it, Sizhui, I’m sure Hanguang-Jun and Wei-qianbei would appreciate the respite from them.”
With the resigned air of someone who knows he will be dragged into nonsense whether he likes it or not, Sizhui sighs. “I guess.”
“Great,” Zizhen grins, “where should we start?”
Yao-shushu and his dad won’t know what hit them.