Chapter Text
Adam had an exam in the morning. Specifically, he had a nephrology exam at eight. He was ready; he could talk about ions and glucose and concentration gradients and active transport and aldosterone well enough that some of his classmates had gone to him for study help. He could probably draw a nephron in his sleep. If he could fucking get to sleep, that is.
“Ronan, I can’t sleep with you squirming like that.”
“I can’t help it.” Ronan went still.
Dreading what he would find, Adam rolled over and checked the time on his phone: 1:55. “I have to wake up in five hours” he said, toeing the line between imploring and whiny.
“I’m sorry.” Ronan said, rolling onto his back for a second, then onto his other side. “My skin feels weird.”
Adam sighed. “Can your skin go feel weird on the couch? Please?”
With a sudden shift of the mattress, Ronan shot up. “Are you fucking serious?”
Why had he thought that would go over well? “Nevermind, I’ll go. Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Ronan’s clipped tone made it clear that it was not fine, but he was on his feet and out the door before Adam could say anything else. The door slammed behind him, and if Adam hadn’t been so desperate for sleep, he might have gone after him. But a 2 AM argument wouldn’t make anything better for either of them. He breathed slowly, promised to make things right tomorrow, and fell asleep.
Morning came, and once Adam remembered why Ronan wasn’t next to him he felt heavy with shame. Of all people to kick out of bed, to complain about being kept awake to, it just had to be Ronan, didn’t it? It had been a while since the nightmares kept him up--he’d gotten them under control when Adam was in undergrad--but that didn’t undo the time that he just...didn’t sleep. In those years, more often than not, Adam would wake up to find Ronan patiently waiting next to him, having been awake since some ungodly hour of the morning. Other times, he’d wake in the middle of the night to find Ronan gone entirely. It was a relatively new development that they went to sleep and woke up around the same time, and now Adam had been selfish and overreacted and dammit this was not conducive to taking an exam in an hour.
He didn’t hear any movement in the living room when he cracked the bedroom door, and if he was being honest, it was a relief; the absolute last thing he needed now was a fight. Scribbling a quick apology onto a piece of notebook paper, he tiptoed into the other room, saw that Ronan was still asleep (although the way the blanket was twisted around him hinted at a night spent tossing and turning), and laid the note on the end table before leaving.
The exam went well, but that didn’t stop Adam from sitting there for the entire time and reviewing his answers up until the last second. When the professor announced that time was up, he handed in his packet on the way out and immediately took out his phone. There was a message from Ronan, saying good morning and asking him to call, sending Adam into a few seconds of palpitations. He couldn’t read Ronan’s tone, and he was terrified as he waited for his boyfriend to pick up.
“Hey.” For once, he was appreciative of the fact that he could only hear on one side; the medical education building had an open atrium so everything echoed horrendously, and he didn’t want to waste time asking Ronan to repeat everything over the sound of the entire class agonizing about how the exam went. “I’m sorry about last night. I was really stressed, but I shouldn’t have been such a dick to you.”
Ronan made a grunt of understanding. “‘s okay. I could’ve been nicer about it too.” He cleared his throat. “How’d the exam go?”
Leaning against the wall, Adam sighed, relieved both that the exam was over and that Ronan wasn’t still upset with him. “Okay, I think. It’s a paper exam so it’ll take a few days until I know.” He pressed the phone closer against his ear--he would have gone down the hall to talk if his next class wasn’t starting in two minutes. Dr. Kelleher started precisely on time and was a fast talker, so Adam couldn’t afford to be even the slightest bit late. “When did you end up falling asleep?”
“Four, maybe? I still feel weird, though. My skin’s super sensitive; I’m literally lying in bed with my dick out ‘cause all my clothes felt prickly.”
Adam smiled at the image. “Send me a picture, why don’t you?” Feeling himself blush, he turned away from the lounge area that his classmates were congregated in. “Help me get through the day, you know?”
“Want a video instead?”
Oh fuck. He could hear Ronan’s facial expression over the phone, lips curled in a dangerous smile; Adam laced his fingers through his hair and pulled, letting the discomfort ground him just a little. How was he supposed to focus on goddamn neurology after this? “You’re gonna be the death of me, Lynch.”
“Oh, I know.” Ronan paused. “I’d better let you get to class.”
It was well-timed; Adam could see his classmates heading into the lecture hall. “Alright. I’ll see you later.”
“You finish at five today?”
Adam shook his head. “No, six. I’ve got the evidence-based medicine group project meeting after class.”
“Gross. I’ll throw something together for dinner.”
Perhaps the simple act was made sweeter by the fact that Adam had spent his adolescence insistent on doing everything on his own, but he still felt warmth pool in his chest when Ronan cooked for him. It wasn’t like it was a rare occurrence--like most things around the apartment, they split it as evenly as their schedules would allow--but Ronan had a way of catching him by surprise. First semester, Adam had come home after a rush-hour commute on a packed Green Line car to a vibrant Thai curry, Ronan waiting for him shirtless in the kitchen because he’d spilled something and couldn’t be bothered to go to their room for a change of clothes. Second semester, he’d hauled his bike into their entryway after a 1 AM ride home from the library to find a tray of cupcakes, each one iced with letters spelling out ‘GOOD LUCK TMRW’, and Adam briefly contemplated going to Ronan’s ambulance base to propose right then.
“Thanks.” He started toward the classroom. “I gotta run. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
There were fifteen minutes left of the two-hour lecture on strokes when Ronan sent Adam a dickpic on goddamn Facebook Messenger. To be fair, Adam probably shouldn’t have had Facebook open on his computer at all, but how else was he supposed to send frantic mid-lecture messages to his classmates? He’d just sent why is he drawing the circle of willis again it’s on the other chalkboard do you think he just...forgot to Dani when Ronan’s message popped up, absolutely derailing any trains of thought besides ‘boyfriend hot’ and ‘I’m in the front row oh god oh fuck’.
The image was small enough that Adam was relatively sure that no one seated behind him could see, and he quickly closed the window. His heart pounded, he felt hot, a little sweaty, as he tried to casually glance around him, making it look like he was stretching. No one was staring at him with wide eyes, having just seen his boyfriend sprawled on their bed with every beautiful part on full display. He let out a breath; Ronan hadn’t condemned him to being the subject of neverending gossip.
While he’d been successful in hiding the message, there was no way for Adam to conceal the deep flush of his face--not a gentle pink creeping over his cheeks, but zero-to-bright-red in a split second. He was grateful for the intense air conditioning in the building and pressed his cool palms to his neck, then his cheeks. Fifteen minutes. He just needed to survive fifteen minutes, then he could throw some water on his face and calm himself down. After taking a closer look at the picture, of course.
As soon as the clock struck noon, Dr. Kelleher stopped; he was just as committed to ending on time as he was to starting, something that Adam wished the other professors would do. Adam looked at the board, made sure that he’d scribbled everything down, and packed everything into his bag as quickly as humanly possible. Racing down the amphitheater steps, he continued into the hallway and made a beeline for the exit. It wasn’t too hot in the shade behind the building, plus, no one ever went there, so he was relatively safe from discovery as he pulled out his phone, finally getting a good look at Ronan’s picture.
Turns out, he’d sent two--Adam had missed the second one in his haste to close the chat window. He looked at the body shot first: an expanse of pale skin begging to be touched, flexed leg showing off the muscles of his thigh, Ronan’s hand dangerously close to his dick. Adam shifted positions, adjusted his jeans, and pulled up the second picture. This one was of Ronan’s chest and face as he rested against the headboard. Not surprisingly, there was a smirk on his lips; he knew exactly what these pictures were doing to Adam. As Adam studied his expression, though, something looked off, something he couldn’t articulate.
Even though he was in a secluded area, Adam didn’t want to risk anyone overhearing their conversation, so he texted Ronan instead.
-You are KILLING ME
-MESSENGER?
-I use my computer during class you fucking asshole
-Everyone could have seen
;)
Did they?
-No, but only because of my lightning quick reflexes
So what did you think?
-I thoroughly enjoyed them
-AFTER class
-You really are beautiful
-But if you do send a video just like, email it to me
I’ll fax you my nudes next time
Hire a carrier pigeon
Send a telegram about what I want to do to you
-Ha ha ha
Probably not going to send a video today though
Gonna have something to eat and try to sleep a little more
Still feeling weird
-Sorry babe
-Have a good nap
-Love you
Adam pocketed his phone. He should head back; they’d had a dermatology lecture about skin cancer last week, so he was a little spooked about sitting around in the midday summer sun. He allowed himself a few minutes to relax (read: to let his hard-on resolve before facing his classmates) before going inside in search of a quiet place to eat lunch and read.
He’d settled into one of the cushioned benches near the simulation lab when someone said his name, and he turned to see Allie coming down the stairs. He started to panic (oh god she’d seen, she’d seen his computer during class and she was just waiting until after to say something) and smiled, trying to keep his expression as placid as possible. “Hey.”
She didn’t look like someone who was about to bring up something incredibly embarrassing. Instead, her eyebrows were lowered, a small frown on her lips in a look of concern. “I was hoping I’d run into you. Are you feeling okay?”
“Huh?” He blinked a few times, then nodded, a little too late. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“Okay.” She drew out the word, clearly not convinced. “It’s just--you looked a little, I don’t know--feverish?--during neuro, so I thought I’d check in.”
“Oh.” Adam was aware that he wasn’t doing a great job of interacting like a normal person, but there was no way to explain what had actually happened. “No, I’m fine, I promise. Just anxious about remembering all this.” He gestured to his notebook.
Allie widened her eyes and nodded. “Oh, I feel you on that. Anyway--just wanted to make sure you were doing alright.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime. Well, I’ll leave you to it--see you in peds.”
Adam smiled. “See you then.”
Crisis averted. Perhaps an imagined crisis, but nevertheless, Adam felt himself relax as Allie headed down the hall. He’d been looking at his notes for a few minutes when something that she said made its way back into his head, and he took out his phone to text Ronan again.
-Hey--do me a favor and check your temp if you get a chance
Ronan still hadn’t replied by the time Adam packed up to go to his pediatrics lecture almost forty-five minutes later.
When Adam got back to the apartment at six-thirty after an infuriating group project meeting, dinner had decidedly not been thrown together. Moreover, Ronan was nowhere to be seen. The living room was empty, the lights were off in the kitchen, and the bathroom door was open, so there was only one place left for Ronan to be. Hungry and more than a little annoyed, Adam went to the bedroom and opened the door.
Ronan was out cold, lying naked on top of the covers. It wasn’t like him to sleep during the day, and while Adam could chalk up a few hours’ nap to a rough night, it didn’t explain why Ronan was still asleep after almost six hours. His annoyance giving way to concern, Adam took a seat on his own side of the bed and touched Ronan’s shoulder. “Hey. Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Groaning, Ronan blinked up at him. Something was off; Adam couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he’d seen Ronan recently awakened hundreds of times, and this was different. Adam could see it in his eyes. Or was it his lips? His cheeks?
“Morning,” Ronan grumbled, yawning.
“Babe, it’s almost seven.”
“PM?” His eyes shot open when Adam nodded. “Shit--I said I was gonna--” He scrambled to sit up. “I’m sorry--my alarm--I don’t know what happened.”
Adam put a hand on Ronan’s chest, gently easing him down so that his head was in Adam’s lap. “Hey. Don’t worry about it.” He massaged his fingertips over the other’s scalp. “What’s going on?”
Ronan shrugged, relaxing into Adam. “I thought some sleep would help, but I just feel bleh, you know?”
With a hum of understanding, Adam felt an ache kindling behind his sternum: sympathy, or worry. “I take it you never took your temp?” When Ronan made a wordless ‘no’ sound, Adam moved a hand forward to rest on his forehead; he didn’t feel warm, but then again, Adam had only minutes ago gotten in from the eighty-degree weather. “Why don’t you do that while I order something for dinner?” Ronan nodded, starting to sit up. “Pizza okay?”
“Yeah.” Stretching his arms upward, then down to the sides, Ronan looked to Adam. “I’m really sorry about—”
Adam shook his head. “Nope. No apologizing when you look like this.”
“Look like what?” Ronan scowled.
Rolling his eyes, Adam got to his feet, holding out a hand and helping Ronan up. “Like you just woke up from a six-hour nap and could go back to sleep for another six.”
They went down the hall, Ronan peeling off into the bathroom while Adam went to the fridge to find the number for the pizza place. He knocked their calendar down in the process and was trying to get the magnets to hold it back up when Ronan shuffled into view and sat down at the table. Once Adam had successfully located the pizza place’s menu and gotten the calendar to stop sliding down the freezer door, he turned to Ronan and raised his brow in question.
“99.5.” Ronan shrugged.
Adam came closer, bending over to press his lips to Ronan’s forehead. “Technically that’s not really a fever, so--”
A caricature of a cheerful expression appeared on Ronan’s face: eyes wide, eyebrows raised, teeth bared in a menacing smile. “Oh, okay!” he said, balanced on a knife’s edge between anger and delight, “I’ll just feel better then! Thanks!”
Adam pulled away, crossing his arms. “I just meant that like, medically it’s not concerning. You don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
Ronan sighed, closed his eyes, then looked back at Adam. “I’m sorry.” He held out his arms and Adam allowed Ronan to wrap them around his waist, head resting on his stomach. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“Thanks.” Rubbing Ronan’s upper back with one hand, Adam waved the flier for the pizza place near his face. “You’ve definitely crossed into hangry territory, though, so I’m gonna order.”
Ronan didn’t move from his position. “Can we get the one with the fried eggplant?”
“Of course. But you’re gonna have to let go so I can get my phone out of my pocket.”
Pouting, Ronan released Adam and went into the living room, where a few minutes later Adam found him curled up under a blanket, head on the armrest of the couch, eyes half-open. Even though the not-fever wasn’t worrisome, everything else about Ronan was. Adam got his laptop from his bag and started to neaten up his notes from the day, sitting in the armchair that gave him the best view of the couch. By the time he headed out to pick up dinner, Ronan was asleep again.