Work Text:
“Thank you for calling Stark Industries customer support line. This is Peter. How can I make your life better today?” Peter answered the customer support line while he waited for Pepper.
He didn’t work for Stark Industries but when he had wandered downstairs while Pepper worked someone had passed him a microphone and told him they’d be back. That was two hours ago. Good thing Peter knew Stark Industries and their products because calls were flying in left and right.
“Yeah so I need some help with my phone.” The man said on the other end.
“Of course. What’s going on with your phone. I’d like to get you the help you need and get you on your way with your day.”
“Oh. Umm. Okay. While I was driving through the drive thru. I’ve got to get my Starbucks, ya know? I went to pay and I dropped my phone and I was like, NO MAN NO! So I started to reverse and I heard a crunch and I figured that couldn’t be good so I stopped moving and I tried to open my car door but I was too close to the wall of the building and I dented my car door. I finally got the idea to go out of the passenger door and retrieved my phone but the screen was all jacked up so I couldn’t pay for my Starbies. It was a sad day, man.”
“So what I’m gathering from this story is that your screen is destroyed, you ran over your phone, and you didn’t get your Starbucks.” Peter clarified.
“Right. It’s been such a bad day.” The man agreed.
“So I’m going to need some account information but what I’m going to do is make sure your warranty is up to date and schedule a phone to be delivered to you tomorrow. You’ll have to send the old phone back. I’m also going to include a Starbucks gift card.” Peter typed everything in as the man gave him his info and thanked him and told him to have a good day.
“Peter! You don’t work here.” Pepper scolded him gently.
“Oh. Sorry. I think someone got confused and thought I did and I just got really into it.” Peter’s face turned a light pink.
“How about we leave this job to the people who are hired to do it and go get lunch like we planned?” Pepper laughed.
“Oh yeah. I’m starving.” Peter stood up and put the headset on the desk in front of him, “Should I sign out or?”
“How did you even get a login?” Pepper frowned.
“Keith.” Peter shrugged, “He thought I was new.”
“Log out. I’m getting that deleted. I don’t want to find you here during a bout of insomnia helping customers resolve their Stark tech crisis.” Pepper ruffled his hair.
“Hey Peter! You think you can help me with this customer. He’s locked out of his phone and we’ve tried everything.” Jordan came up to him with his tablet and his headset.
“You mind?” Peter asked Pepper.
“I’m coming back in an hour. I’ll bring food to you.” Pepper warned him, “I mean it, Pete. One hour.”
~
“I don’t understand.” Tony was frowning at the tablet in his hand.
“What’s wrong?” Peter asked glancing up that afternoon from where he sat working on school work.
“Last week we replaced a phone when it clearly wasn’t our fault. We also sent a Starbucks gift card which is totally against protocol. That’s one of many situations that we sent replacements for things not covered under warranty.” Tony was scrolling from screen to screen as he read over the cases.
“Oh, Umm. Yeah.” Peter glanced at Pepper who was trying to cover up her laughter.
“I don’t even know whose login this is.” Tony said glancing at Pepper.
“So here’s the thing—“ Peter stood up.
“—We had hired a new employee but we fired him because he was a bit overzealous. He wanted to help people so much that he started working outside the manual.” Pepper smiled and gave Peter’s shoulder a squeeze.
“Good. We can’t just give away free phones.” Tony rolled his eyes and walked toward the office down the hall.
“Thanks, Pep.” Peter hugged her.
“I would have given the phones too, Pete.” Pepper smiled.
~
Peter was walking into school one day when his phone rang, “Hello?”
“Peter? It’s Jordan. I was wondering if you could cover my shift tonight? I had a family emergency come up and I can’t find anyone else.” Jordan explained, “I wouldn’t ask but my wife just took my three year old to the hospital.”
Peter glanced at his school building, “Right now?”
“If you can.”
“Um. Yeah. I’ll be there soon.” Peter cringed knowing he was going to get in trouble for skipping school but Jordan’s daughter was sick.
~
“Peter Benjamin Parker.” Peter looked down at the keyboard when he heard Pepper’s voice behind him.
“Hi Pep.”
“It’s a school day. I don’t know why you’re here. I’m revoking your privileges. Tony’s going to kill you. He got the call from the school when May didn’t answer. He knows you’re in the building but not where. You’re about to blow our cover.” Pepper pulled the headset off him.
“I’m sorry! Jordan’s daughter—“ Peter started to explain.
“—No time. Go to the lab or the training gym or pretend you have amnesia or something before we both get in trouble. I told him we fired the new employee who was messing things up.” Pepper told him.
“Fri? Stall Tony.” Peter told the AI and took off for the lab. He rounded the corner though and saw Tony already in there, trying to open the door which was staying closed. Thank you Friday.
Peter took off for Tony’s office instead. Tony never used his office at SI. He hated coming here. He said it smelled like paperwork. Peter laid on the couch and pulled the blanket over him closing his eyes.
He heard the door open.
“Peter. You’d better have a good reason for being in here and not at school.” Tony said picking up his feet and setting them on his lap so he could sit down.
Peter groaned, “Headache.”
Tony sighed, “You should have called. Why did you come here instead of the penthouse?”
“Not sure. It’s all fuzzy.” Peter hoped he didn’t go to hell for lying.
“Okay. Get some rest then. I’ll get some work done and then if you’re feeling better we’ll go back to the penthouse in a bit. No Spider-Man tonight though.”
“But—“
“No. If you’re sick then you shouldn’t be out as Spider-Man.” Tony said more firmly.
“Alright.”
“Friday? Lights at 30% please. We need to protect the Spider-Baby’s eyes.” Tony told the AI as he sat behind his desk, “Also whenever you’re ready to tell me why you’re lying I’d love to hear it.”
“You knew?” Peter sat up.
“It’s my building.” Tony rolled his eyes, “I’ve also seen you sick and this isn’t it. You’re really clingy when you don’t feel well.”
“I was just trying to help.” Peter sighed.
“Stop helping. You cost my company way too much money because your heart bleeds at every story.” Tony threw a stress ball at him.
“They always have really bad days. I just want to make them better.” Peter whined.
“It’s because you have a heart of gold, Kid.”
“That’s a good thing, right?” Peter frowned.
“Yeah. It is. Just stay out of customer service. I’d rather have you in the lab.”
“What if want to work with Pepper?” Peter teased.
“She doesn’t want you.” Tony teased right back, “I tried.”
“You’re lying now.”
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Tony laughed.