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Hyunjin took in the atmosphere of the room around him, breathing in deeply, basking in the great vibes. His comforter soft against his legs, a wall of pillows at his back (as he was halfway sitting up), the faint glow of the digital clock sat on his dresser, some random dumb drama playing on his laptop (balanced on a pile of blankets), and his boyfriend laying in his lap, fast asleep.
Seungmin has always been one to fall asleep early, and he was never able to stay up quite as late as the other members. He was always up before 7 am though, enjoying the ambiance of the morning air, seeing the world start its day, or so he told Hyunjin. Hyunjin knew it was also partly because Seungmin felt guilty if he wasn’t up before them, seeing it as a burden and an annoyance. Hyunjin told him constantly that it wasn’t, that he deserves his sleep, but it’s hard to battle a stubborn brain sometimes. But Hyunjin and Seungmin are always there to help each other through it.
Hyunjin twisted Seungmin’s soft brown hair through his fingers, careful to not accidentally pull on it and wake him up. Seungmin was laying on his side and had his head resting on Hyunjin’s lower belly. Seungmin’s torso was almost perpendicular to Hyunjin’s, and Seungmin’s arm that wasn’t pinned under his torso was limp at his side. Hyunjin’s arm was slung over Seungmin’s lower chest, his hand holding Seungmin’s, their fingers interlaced.
With one hand holding Seungmin’s, and the other carding through his hair, Hyunjin ignored the drama on his laptop and admired his boyfriend. Hyunjin couldn’t really see his face, as Seungmin had kind of burrowed his way into Hyunjin’s belly, likely seeking shelter from the offensive light of the screen. But, he could hear Seungmin’s soft snores.
Hyunjin never thought he would say someone’s snores were cute, but Seungmin actually sometimes sounds like a little puppy while he sleeps. This was one of these times; the little noises he made were stifled by the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt, but still just barely audible over the sound from the laptop.
He traced little circles into Seungmin’s hand with his thumb, feeling how soft his skin was. How could someone be so goddamn perfect?
Seungmin’s hair was still a little damp, as he had taken a shower about 30 minutes ago, and Hyunjin could smell his shampoo. He took a deep breath, comforted by it. Seungmin usually didn’t like people touching him or playing with his hair, but he didn’t seem to have a problem with it if it was Hyunjin, even before they started dating. Hyunjin smirked proudly. Boyfriend privileges.
Hyunjin is usually the one who leans on Seungmin for comfort, initiates hugs, etc. Every chance he got, he would lay his head on Seungmin’s shoulder or give him a back hug. In his hours of watching Youtube, he had come across a lot of compilation videos of him laying on Seungmin or hugging him, all made by Stay. He couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy watching them.
Hyunjin used to be afraid that Seungmin never initiated contact because he didn’t want to be close with him. But, when Hyunjin learned that he does this because he is naturally reserved and a little anxious, he started trying to show Seungmin that there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s not that Seungmin doesn’t want to be close to him— he just doesn’t know how to. Hyunjin makes sure to give him lots of hugs and to be extra observant of what Seungmin is comfortable with.
Actually, even tonight, Seungmin wasn’t the one who initiated contact. When they had first laid down in bed, Seungmin kept moving, not quite being situated. He would lay down on his pillow, then sit up and adjust the pillow and lay back down, then sit up and cross his legs and watch the drama like that, then lean back on the pillow again, etc. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable, and Hyunjin of course noticed. He could tell that Seungmin was tired and was trying to find a comfy position to fall asleep in, but didn’t want to face away from the screen, either because he wanted to see it or because he didn’t want to make Hyunjin feel bad. He was trying to be subtle with his constant fidgeting, but there’s only so many times you can move before it’s noticed.
Hyunjin smiled down at Seungmin’s comfortable form as he recalled what happened next.
Hyunjin had reached over to touch Seungmin’s shoulder as he was in the middle of another switch. Seungmin looked up, kind of looking like a deer in headlights.
“Yeah?” he said questioningly.
Hyunjin had smiled at him, rubbing Seungmin’s shoulder comfortingly. “You can lay here if you want, Minnie,” he said, patting his stomach, which was fully on the bed, as he was just kinda propped up by pillows from the chest up.
He remembered Seungmin’s relieved, yet slightly embarrassed smile, and blushed a little bit himself. He hoped Seungmin would never stop having that effect on him.
“Okay,” Seungmin had said, his voice sleepy. He rotated a little bit, then laid his head on Hyunjin, slowly relaxing. Hyunjin could see he was still a little tense, so he had reached over Seungmin’s torso, found his hand, and squeezed it.
Not two seconds later, Seungmin had intertwined their fingers, clearly having found exactly the comfort Hyunjin wanted to provide. He brought his knees closer to his chest, curling up a little as he always does when he was about to go to sleep. Hyunjin found that adorable, and had pressed a few light kisses into Seungmin’s hair. This caused Seungmin to snuggle further into Hyunjin, completely relaxing.
Hyunjin had then started playing with his hair, and now here they are, Seungmin fast asleep and Hyunjin’s heart full.
It was so rare that Hyunjin was able to comfort Seungmin; usually he was the one being comforted. Not that Hyunjin was bad at being comforting, but, again, that Seungmin didn’t know how to ask. Hyunjin took pride in being successful. He had made his boyfriend feel better, and he loves being able to be there for him, as Seungmin has done so many times before.
He was pulled out of his thoughts suddenly by the show. Two people (he couldn’t tell you what their names are) were arguing, and it was kind of loud. Hyunjin looked down at Seungmin worriedly, not wanting him to be woken up. But, he couldn’t reach the volume on his laptop to turn it down without risking rousing Seungmin. So, he just stayed put, continuing to play with Seungmin’s hair, messily braiding sections of it with one hand.
Seungmin shifted a little bit, kind of startling Hyunjin, but he relaxed when he realized Seungmin was still asleep. He heard little slurred mutters, remembering that Seungmin sometimes talks in his sleep. One time, Hyunjin had watched him fully sit up, his eyebrows knitted together, and worriedly say “His name isn’t Brian! Please stop calling him that.” He then laughed a little, said “He kinda looks like a Brian though,” laid back down, and closed his eyes again.
This time, though, it was just quiet, mostly unintelligible mumbling. Hyunjin thought maybe he heard his name, but that was probably just wishful thinking. Seungmin curled further around Hyunjin’s arm, of which hand he was holding, before going still again. Hyunjin wanted to squeeze him to death, he was so adorable. He was still so touched by how much Seungmin genuinely trusted him, and he is so happy he can be that person for him.
Hyunjin has always considered himself a hopeless romantic, but it’s moments like these, when he’s completely losing his mind over his boyfriend just shifting in his sleep, that he is reminded. He used to be in denial over that fact, back when he thought he was *gags* straight . He had been so scared of even entertaining the idea of being happy in a relationship, because he knew that something was off whenever he thought about being with a girl. And that scared him, because it meant he was different.
He stopped playing with Seungmin’s hair, lightly rested his hand on Seungmin’s head, and started playing gently with his ear, yet again admiring his boyfriend. Now, he embraces that he is a hopeless romantic, he embraces his more feminine side, and he is so happy now that he has. He still can’t believe that he managed to score someone like Seungmin. He must have been some sort of hero in his past life to deserve this.
Hyunjin was lost in fond thought when suddenly he felt Seungmin move a little, then sit up surprisingly quickly, letting go of Hyunjin’s arm. He felt his belly get immediately colder. Seungmin looked at Hyunjin worriedly, and Hyunjin looked at him the same way, kind of shocked into silence by Seungmin’s sudden movement. Had he accidentally woken him up? Hyunjin silently scolded himself. Seungmin cocked his head a little (he really is like a puppy, Hyunjin thought), looked at the laptop, and looked back at him, still with a confused look on his face.
Hyunjin, finally coming out of his startled and confused daze, was the first to speak up. “Hey, is everything okay?” he asked softly. He thought maybe Seungmin was still asleep, and wasn’t doing this of his own conscious will. It wouldn’t be the first time he had sat up like this while asleep, as Hyunjin knew. “Are you awake?”
Seungmin locked eyes with him, and Hyunjin’s second question was answered. He knew what his eyes looked like when he was just sleep talking, but they looked focused and alert. This somewhat worried him more, because that means something is actually wrong.
Seungmin took a deep breath, seemingly searching Hyunjin’s expression for something, his eyebrows knitted in worry. He finally answered, trying to keep his voice steady. “Were you crying just now?”
Hyunjin was completely caught off guard, not expecting that at all. He expected Seungmin to have woken up from a bad dream or something. He had been nowhere near crying of distress, in fact, he had been pretty far in the opposite direction. “No??? Why-“
He was cut off by Seungmin. “Oh. Okay. I guess it was just the show.” He gestured towards Hyunjin’s laptop, and sure enough, the main guy character was currently softly crying. Hyunjin hadn’t even noticed. It was just background noise to him slowly falling in love with Seungmin.
Suddenly, something clicked in Hyunjin’s brain. “Wait, Seungmin, you woke up all suddenly and worriedly because you thought you heard me crying? The dude on the show isn’t even being loud, how did that wake you up?”
Seungmin shrugged, blushing a little. “I know what you sound like when you’re crying quietly, trying not to disturb or worry anyone. I guess he sounds similar to you, and my brain picked that up and thought it was you, and decided to wake me up. I wanted to help you, I was worried you were hurting and that I wouldn’t be there.”
Hyunjin pouted and put his hand over his heart. “Okay, well now I am gonna cry.” He smiled, feeling the familiar burning sensation behind his eyes. Seungmin had really unconsciously heard the softest sound of crying, thought it was him, and immediately woke up in worry? This was too much for his hopelessly romantic heart to handle.
“Can I hug you?” Seungmin said suddenly.
Hyunjin looked up at him, who still looked a little worried, and his heart almost exploded. His sweater paws, his messy hair, which still had a few sloppy braids in it (Hyunjin silently praised his one-handed braiding skills), his eyebrows still furrowed, his eyes sleepy, and the fact that he had just asked to hug Hyunjin, which Hyunjin knew he had a hard time doing.
Hyunjin felt a happy tear slip out. “Yes, Seungmin, a million times yes.”
Seungmin beamed, scooted closer to Hyunjin, and wrapped his arms tightly around him. Seungmin lightly kissed the side of his neck, and chuckled a little. “You’re acting like I just asked you to marry me or something.”
Hyunjin buried his face into Seungmin’s shoulder, probably making his shirt a little wet with his tears. “Leave me and my happy little gay heart alone Seungmin, it’s your fault for being so goddamn cute, bitch.”
Seungmin fully laughed at that, throwing his head back. They are alone in this room right now, as they are currently staying in a hotel, so they didn’t have to worry about waking up the other members. Hyunjin felt him move a hand into his hair, and he leaned into his touch.
Although Seungmin had a hard time initiating stuff, as he felt really awkward and anxious about it, Hyunjin noticed that he gets set at ease pretty easily too. He especially saw that his jokes made Seungmin more comfortable, as well as when he gives positive affirmations, like “yes, you can hug me, I would love that,” and leaning into his touch, which he does naturally anyway. A lot of the time, Seungmin would make jokes back, which made Hyunjin laugh really hard. Seungmin is hilarious when he wants to be. They really go together perfectly. Hyunjin smiled into Seungmin’s shoulder at that thought, drawing his hands lightly across Seungmin’s back.
They fell into comfortable silence, relishing the warm and relaxing hug. Hyunjin came to a conclusion in his mind, and without thinking too much, said it out loud.
“I think I love you.”
Hyunjin felt Seungmin freeze and release the hug. Hyunjin immediately got scared, worrying that he is going too fast, that Seungmin doesn’t feel the same, that he just ruined everything.
“Wait, I’m sorry, you don’t have to say it back, I don’t know why I said that, I-“
He was cut off by Seungmin’s lips against his, and he felt Seungmin’s hands cupping his face. He exhaled through his nose, his racing mind put at ease.
The kiss ended, having just been short and sweet, and Seungmin took both of Hyunjin’s hands in his and gave them a reassuring squeeze. Hyunjin was completely stunned, somehow falling for Seungmin even more. He really hoped Seungmin would never stop having this effect on him.
“Well, first of all, stop ‘thinking,’ that’s not good for anyone.” Seungmin smirked, ignoring Hyunjin’s scoff. “Second of all, I’m absolutely sure that I love you.” Seungmin kissed his forehead, and locked eyes with Hyunjin, as if to ask “Say it back?”
Hyunjin squeezed Seungmin’s hands back, no doubts in his mind now. Seungmin had a small smile on his face, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes. Hyunjin’s heart clenched; Seungmin was scared. He softly pecked the tip of Seungmin’s nose. “Yeah, I’m sure too.”
Seungmin beamed, his eyes turning into tiny little crescents, and Hyunjin was sure that he had never seen anything brighter, anything more completely full of joy. Hyunjin leaned in and connected their lips again. He moved one hand up to the crook of Seungmin’s neck, lightly playing with the soft skin there.
Seungmin moved his hand back to play with Hyunjin’s hair, twisting it gently. He wrapped his other arm around Hyunjin’s waist, pulling him in further, holding onto the loose fabric of his shirt.
Hyunjin used his other hand to cup Seungmin’s face as Seungmin moved to deepen the kiss. He moved closer to Hyunjin, and Hyunjin started laying back onto his pillow, never breaking the kiss.
Seungmin laid down on his belly, halfway on top of Hyunjin, moving his arm that was wrapped around his waist to the opposite side of Hyunjin in order to prop himself up against the bed. His other hand was still on Hyunjin’s head, sort of pinned onto the pillow now.
Hyunjin moved one hand to play with the top of Seungmin’s shirt as the kiss got a little more intense. He could feel Seungmin’s hot breath against his, and their noses grazed against each other a couple times. This might just be his dramatic personality talking, but one of Hyunjin’s favorite things to do is kiss Seungmin. It always makes him feel so loved and happy, and he hoped that he was able to make Seungmin feel the same way.
After a few minutes they ended the kiss, mutually deciding that they needed air, and Seungmin was getting really tired. He had been fast asleep right before this, after all.
Hyunjin looked up at Seungmin hovering above him, and noticed how flushed his cheeks were, how bright his smile still was. He didn’t have any questions about whether he made Seungmin feel loved anymore.
Seungmin leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, not missing Hyunjin’s happy eyes staring up at him, before laying down on his side next to Hyunjin, resting his head on his shoulder and collarbone area, fitting himself perfectly between his arm and the rest of his body. He wormed his arm underneath Hyunjin, finding his hand on the other side, and interlacing their fingers. He played with Hyunjin’s shirt with his other hand, sighing contentedly.
Hyunjin looked down at him, kind of stunned at how quickly he had situated himself, but lowkey proud of him. Hyunjin hadn’t had to invite him to cuddle this time, he had initiated it all on his own. Not that Hyunjin minded inviting him, but it was nice to see that he was getting more comfortable. Hyunjin wrapped his arm that Seungmin had practically laid on top of around him and started playing with his earlobe, content with this position.
Seungmin suddenly lifted his head off Hyunjin’s shoulder, looking up at him. Hyunjin looked back, a questioning look in his eyes.
“Wait, this is okay, right? Is this okay? Can I lay here?”
Hyunjin laughed a little bit. Ah, there it was. This is still a big improvement. A month ago, Seungmin probably wouldn’t have even asked. He would have timidly laid his head down on Hyunjin, and sat there in constant worry that Hyunjin didn’t want him there. But, of course Hyunjin did. But he didn’t realize Seungmin was worried that he didn’t.
Hyunjin lightly pulled on Seungmin’s ear, indirectly telling him to lay his head back down. Seungmin got the message and rested his head back on Hyunjin’s shoulder. Hyunjin resumed playing with his ear, and squeezed Seungmin’s hand. “Yes, Seungmin, a million times yes.”
Seungmin yawned, and sleepily said “Is that gonna be a thing we say now? Like, ‘Hyunjin, we should watch Haikyuu.’” He made his voice go about an octave higher, and said emotionally, “‘Yes, Seungmin, a million times yes.’”
Hyunjin laughed loudly, shaking Seungmin a little bit and hitting their intertwined hands against the bed. Seungmin dropping the “hyung” formality didn’t mean anything to him, it was kind of another inside joke they had. He made his voice go a little lower, saying matter-of-factly, “‘Hyunjin, we need more vegetables, we’re almost out.’” He changed his voice to normal, adding more dramatics. “‘ Yes , Seungmin, a million times yes. ’”
Laughing the whole time, they listed more examples, each one getting more and more trivial.
Seungmin was cackling, they had been going at this for about five minutes now. “‘Hyunjin, your favorite color is green, right?’”
Hyunjin was giggling so much that he was almost out of breath, and he gasped before saying “YES, Seungmin, a MILLION TIMES YES.”
They had to take a pause after that one, both of them so caught up in the moment and out of breath. Seungmin was almost silently laughing, except for the wheezing, and Hyunjin was making the entire bed shake with his laugh. They were finally able to get their breath back, and Seungmin cuddled into Hyunjin’s side. Hyunjin felt a warm feeling in his chest, so happy that Seungmin was letting himself be held again.
Seungmin yawned, making Hyunjin yawn as well. “You know,” Seungmin started, rubbing little circles into Hyunjin’s stomach, “Maybe I like being held more than I thought I did.”
Hyunjin beamed at that, leaning down to kiss the top of Seungmin’s head. “Well, I love holding you, so maybe we should do this more often.”
Seungmin nodded against Hyunjin’s chest. “Yeah, I think we should. Keep us on our toes. Switch things up a bit.” Hyunjin caught the most vulnerable and touching smile he has ever seen on Seungmin’s face, and he almost started crying again.
They sat there, just enjoying each other’s presence. Hyunjin thought Seungmin had fallen asleep before he suddenly said, “Hey, look, the dude’s not crying anymore.”
Hyunjin looked at his laptop, which was still playing this stupid drama he didn’t even know the name of. The main guy was laughing with his friends, no sign of tears or distress. Hyunjin smiled, stroking Seungmin’s hair. “Yeah, I guess he’s not. That’s good. He looks happy.”
Seungmin nodded and moved his head a little bit to look at Hyunjin. “You look happy too. I’m glad you weren’t crying earlier.”
Hyunjin beamed down at Seungmin, who was still looking up at him. Hyunjin thought there’s no way there’s anything more adorable than that sight.
“How could I not be happy right now? I’m with you.”
Seungmin yawned, giggled, punched his side lightly.
“Uh, OW.” Hyunjin said, even though he barely felt it.
Seungmin turned his head back and cuddled into Hyunjin’s side again. Hyunjin reached out with his foot and closed his laptop, thinking that it’s time to go to sleep. Seungmin wrapped his legs around Hyunjin’s, kind of holding onto him like a koala now. Hyunjin just keeps getting proven wrong over and over again tonight. There is always a cuter sight, and it’s always Seungmin.
Hyunjin pulled the comforter over them, making sure Seungmin was covered, then fully laid his head down and closed his eyes. He was pretty sure Seungmin was asleep at this point, as he could hear his soft puppy snores, and he heard him mutter something, his voice thick with sleep.
“We love each other. That’s pretty cool.”
Hyunjin actually felt a tear fall this time. Hopefully Seungmin didn’t somehow sense it and wake up again. How can he say that so casually? It was funny, but also super endearing and cute. Hyunjin hugged his arm tighter across Seungmin, letting his hand rest on Seungmin’s chest. He felt his hold get a little looser on Seungmin’s hand as he finally started to fall asleep. He smiled and whispered to himself:
“Yes, Seungmin. A million times yes.”