Chapter Text
The teacher sat down on his strange, scarlet burning chair, somehow not getting roasted by the flickering crimson flames. "All right, class," announced Grimm, "We will begin with the trumpets. Dung Defender, pick a song for your students to warm up with, and for the last time, do NOT pick another poop song, however much your students may find it funny! " He picked up a metronome and polished it. "No more throwing your heads at the metronome," Grimm said, "It is not nice as I pay for the metronomes with my own money."
"Actually, he uses Divine's money," said Brumm while conducting the accordions, "he has no money of his own because the Nightmare King of Physical Education takes it and spends it all on torture equipment."
"Sounds like the PE teacher a lot!" chirped many in the class.
"SHUT UP, OH MANY TERRIBLE LITTLE BAt FLAVORED PIECES OF GARLiC!" Grimm snapped.
"Dad, please be careful," said Grimmchild cautiously, "last time you freaked out you shut yourself in a bean can for a week and died so I had to get the Nightmare King to reincarnate you again."
"SHUT UP!!!" screeched Grimm furiously, "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE LIKE THIS!"
Grimmchild sighed and continued to flop around on the organ.
"Oh man," said Koi, "Grimm like looks then pufferfish explode after!"
"sey!" replied Moi, while trying to figure out how to play the piano if you have no fingers.
"SHUT UP AND PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENTS!" screeched Grimm for the last time, "AND TO THE BEAT! THIS MAKES MY SOBS AT NIGHT WHEN I HAVE NOT EATEN FOR 83 WEEKS SOUND LIKE A FULLY ORCHESTRATED BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF MUSIC, UNLIKE THIS TERRIBLE NOISE THAT SHALL MAKE ME GO DEAF!" Grimm then exploded, and his corpse landed on the floor with a flop .
"Oh man," sighed Grimmchild. He floated up to the desk and landed. Grimmchild grew larger and taller, morphing into Grimm.
"Return to your spots and begin playing, to the beat! " said the newly reincarnated Grimm in an extremely raspy voice. "Nothing interesting has happened apart from me going deaf from your terrible noise!"
"Hey, Grimm! Did you die again? Stop that!" said the NIghtmare King from the doorway, "It's annoying!"
“I threw up in the garbage can,” said the Hammer Vessel, “It is tipped over.”
“I TIPPED IT OVER” screeched SOAP proudly, “ME ME ME ME”
“I TIPPED YOU OVER TO MAKE YOU TIP THE GARBAGE CAN,” shrieked Hornet, before jumping up onto the roof because Hammer’s vomit was spilling all over the floor.
“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL” roared the Nightmare King in frustration as he punched Grimm so that Grimm could throw up Grimmchild.
“OUCH,” said Grimm as grimmchildren dropped out of his mouth.
“You just defied all laws of reproduction,” stated Monomon as she ran straight into the door.
“I am going to have a seizure,” said Cloth.
“I am broke,” said Dave
“I,” said koi
“E,” said Moi
“Stop being loud,” said monomon as grimmchild ripped out her teeth, “If you must throw up on the floor and punch each other, at least be quiet about it!”
“Oh shut up, go back to teaching your science class about how vessels don’t have mitochondria or cells in general.” Grimm snorted, coughing up a wad of Grimmchildren.
“Nyar” said Grimmchild, clearly annoyed at the fact he had siblings.
“I am throwing up on the table now and spreading the vomit,” said the Hammer Vessel as they spread vomit using their head.
“JJJJJJJJJ” shouted Koi
“OOOOOOOOOO” screeched Moi
“TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” hollered Koi
“HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” screamed Moi as loudly as a train ramming at top speed into the highway.
“WHO HAS SUMMONED THE ALMIGHTY BENCH GOD?!” boomed Joth, while whacking Ghost in the face with 3 benches and a rock.
“I am a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a” stammered SOAP (Ghost) while being whacked with a needle, 3 benches, and a rock.
"My nonexistent ears hurt more than a drowning person that is stabbing themselves while on a sinking ship filled with drowned rats, crabs, and hail," declared the Nightmare King more loudly than a chair snoring as it is knocked out a window and flew over mountains, making a queen explode in the process.
"Please go away," sighed Grimm, "I really don't get paid enough for this."
"I shall not leave, thank you very much," came the reply, "I am the NIGHTMARE KING, and I DO WHAT I PLEASE."
"I am going to jump out the window!" said Moi, who was ripping her head off and tossing it at the metronome in an attempt to break it.
"I!" yelled Koi, who also jumped out the window.
"... So you're not hungry anymore? It's nice that you were able to help your friend," came a distant voice from the window.
"GO BACK TO YOUR CLASSROOM AND TEACH BIOLOGY OR SOMETHING!" screeched the Nightmare King.
"Why don't you do that, then?" retorted Monomon, who was lurking in the doorway, "You're not a music teacher !" Mr. Mushroom floated in through the window and settled onto the desk.
"Kingdoms and bones may turn to dust, but Mr. Mushroom readjusts..." He said, before blasting off through the roof.
Grimm sighed and slumped onto his desk.
He said, "Class, please play the piece." Nobody heard him, so he was ignored as the class chattered and screeched and threw up on their desks.
Grimm sighed and took 3 deep breaths.
"1, 2, 3, (sigh) I can't do this..."
He began muttering something to himself that was inaudible over the loud class.
"I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR BEANS!" yelled Grimmchild, who was ripping out Ghost's nonexistent teeth.
"...."
Grimm didn't reply, he was slumped on the bench, most likely passed out due to stress.
Suddenly, as the Hammer Vessel was throwing up on Grimm's face, Grimm jolted up and started screaming.
"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Grimm's screams echoed around the room, making Moi go deaf even though Moi was in the garden because she jumped out the window.
Grimm jumped out the window as well, and set his face on fire, and ran around the lab room.
"There he goes again," muttered the Nightmare King as he kicked a vessel in the shin.
"JENE????" screeched Koi
"?????" screeched the still deaf Moi
Hornet left the classroom, most likely trying to go to fight the weird new student, Lace.
“SHUT YOU'RE UP SHUT YOUR UP SHUT UPPP!!!!” roared the Nightmare King as he slammed a table onto the floor. There was complete silence, not a word was uttered before Mr Mushroom trampled back into the room screaming about kingdoms and bones before chaos continued.
“IUFHIRUHIUDHWWHUIEIH!” screeched Grimm, still losing his mind in the lab room.
“Oh for heck,” growled the Nightmare King before he leaped down into the lab and grabbed Grimm by the neck, dragging him back to the music room. Grimm screeched madly, yelling and screaming something like
“QUIRELRE GONA KEE:LLL ME WIUHFUIW WaTER FOOTO EUHHE JIFJOA JOTH IS HEKSI!!” as he had traumatic flashbacks.
Joth was still hitting SOUP with 4 benches and a rock, yelling something about “are you the one who ate my rock!?!??!?”
“Poor old chap, wonder what got to him?” Quirrel inquired, observing as the Nightmare King dragged Grimm out of his convulsions in the lab.
“ARENT YOUOUOUOUOUUUUUUU AN OLLLLLD CHAPPED LIPSSSSSS???” asked Koi.
“Well that’s just rude! I’m not that old…..” said Quirrel the Girl the Boomer
“I CHAPPED LIPS VErY!” replied Moi.
“IF ALL OF YOU DONT SHUT YER TRAPS RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO MAKE EVERYONE GO THROUGH PATH OF PAIN WITH x500000000 BUZZSAWS AND 29890830921 GRIMMKIN PRIMAL ASPIDS CHASING AFTER THEM 5000000007 TIMES!” shrieieieked the Nightmare King as he smashed through the window, carrying a half-dead and convulsing Grimm. This time, everyone did stop. Muttering obscenities about the Nightmare King, everyone waddled out of the room for the next period.
“YUO AARE AL LATEE!!!!” screeched monomon.
“NAUT,” said Dave as he slid across the floor and into the sewers. “We is ared EEEARLY!!!11!”
“Shut up you smelly broken vessel,” said Lace in a fly-filled voicey conductor smoker. “Why did the creators even decide to call you Dave instead of Broken Vessel?”
“SEH SHE SHE SEH SEH SEH!” came Grimm’s insane screeching next door.
“Hey, do you think Nightmare King went back to his PE class or he’s still in there?” Cloth inquired, tapping Quirrel the Squirrel on the shoulders.
“I would wager about 15 Trial of the Fool matches that he’s still in there,” replied Tiso, even though nobody was talking to him. Quirrel shrugged, observing an acid tablet that had sentences that didn’t make any sense.
“ALL HAIL HOLY JOTH!” screeched Joth, who had followed SOAP because Joth liked hitting them on the head with 5 benches and 2 rocks.
“Wow, the number of benches keeps going up,” noted Afro.
“Settle down, settle down you smelly lumps,” said Monomon as she waved around a stick held between her toes.
“I AM NOT SOAP!” screeched SOAP as somebody passed SOAP a note that said ‘yuo ar SOPA’.
“Yes shaw you shaw are shaw not shaw soap shaw,” siad hornet, “you shaw are shaw an shaw idiot shawwwww!!!”
SOAP let out an abyssal screech as weird voidy thingies filled the room and ate up all the chalk in the coin jar.
“I will force-feed you disgusting drugs that make you W I D E !” said Dave who was bored, and falling off his chair.
“IIIIIIIIIIIII SEH SEH III” screeched Grimmchild, who was in the corner for no reason at all.
“Children these days,” muttered Monomon as she flicked a coin in between Lace’s forehead. “All of you need to be quiet so I can teach you the detriments of tobacco usage.”
“Oh, lung cancer,” said Quirrel.
“GOOOOGOOODODOODODODODODODODOODD JOBBBBBBBBBBB!” said Monomon as she wrote on the chalkboard using a bell pepper because all the chalk was eaten by SOAP.
THONK , went the 6 benches and 3 rocks that Joth was whacking SOUP with.
The Hammer Vessel slammed open the door.
“HAY!” said Hammer.
“OH FOR PALE KING’S SAKE,” stated Monomon, “STOP DOING THAT!”
“DO NOT THONK, FOR I AM THE ONLY THONKER!!” screeched Hammer
“Juat,” stated Grimmchild as the Hammer Vessel bowed and created a huge crater in the center of the classroom.
“Ooooh, perfect for our next experiment,” said Monomon as she threw up a magnifying glass and tossed it at Quirrel.
“There, find some way to duplicate them and pass it around the classroom,” she stated as Quirrel looked at her in confusion. Shrugging, he threw the magnifying glass at a mirror and it exploded into 50 other magnifying glasses. If only I could do that with money in real life.
“Alright my smelly comrades, come pick up some magnifying glasses!” said Quirrel as he pointed to the fat pile of magnifying glasses.
“GOOGLE SEARCHES ARE WHAT WE NEED, NOT SCIENCE!” screeched Hornet, running out of the classroom screaming.
“That’s why ur stupid” said Lace as she observed Honret roll out of the room like a speed bump drowning in oil and fly into the sky.
SOAP stared at the magnifying glass, and wondered whether it was edible or not. Bored, Ghost stuffed the glass into their eye and the magnifying glass was consumed with a loud CRUNCH .
“JENE??????” screeched Koi and Moi from the Garden, still not in class because they were too lazy to climb back up the school.
“Iiiiiiiiiiii” snorked Dave, who was so bored that he was melting into a puddle of goop that would most likely soon turn into infection. Cloth, deciding that she too was bored out of her mind joined in on Dave’s monotonous chorus as their voices merged, sounding like a fish tank’s bubble pipe. Tiso soon joined in because he was tired of being ignored like a monkey eating parrots, so he started saying ‘iiiii’ along with Dave and Cloth. Quirrel observed the three of them sounding like a very off-tune version of the Windows shut down noise, so he joined in as well because it looked fun. Grimmchild added his voice to the chorus because it helped him focus on his stupid music homework of trying to play 15 notes at once while on the piano when he doesn’t even have fingers.
Soon, the whole class apart from Monomon was saying, “Iiiiiiiiiiiiii,” in unison. Finally, Monomon snapped.
“IF YOU WISH TO SING IN A CHORUS, THEN GO BACK TO GRIMM’S CLASS!!!” she yelled at the bored people, tapping a stick on the floor with her fat smelly toes. Dave the puddle flopped out of his chair and went out the door, glomping his way to Grimm’s class. Monoman smacked her face in frustration.
“I DID NOT MEAN THAT LITERALLY!” With a sad deflating pufferfish noise, Dave went back under the door and flopped back into his seat in the Science classroom.
“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,” he said. Suddenly, Mr. Mushroom flew into the classroom and exploded in a puff of fungi spores. Monomon slammed her head into the chalkboard.
“Urm,” said Quirrel. “Madam, are you alright?”
“On a scale of one to Grimm, how bad are you mentally, and on a scale of one to Nightmare King, how okay are you physically?” Tiso asked, leaning down on his fat shield as SOAP rolled around on the floor.
“7 and 4. You all need to listen to me because I am the one who is teaching!”
Mawlek crashed down, breaking the roof and landing on Tiso.
“Oops,” said the Radiance, “My pet ate too much.”
“Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii,” sang Dave the Puddle. Finally, after a boring 2nd period, the bell rang for everyone to go outside and flop around a dead bench. With terrible screeching and green flavored enthusiasm, the class rolled outside like a dead fish eating plankton covered in soy sauce and oily chicken fingers. Monomon sighed, truly drained from the energy of her 2nd class. Only Quirrel stayed behind as everyone else waddled out of the classroom screaming “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII”.
“Madam? Are you alright?” Quirrel asked as Monomon leaned onto her desk, tired and weary.
“I’m fine,” she muttered, waving Quirrel dismissively with a tentacle. “Don’t worry for me, Quirrel. I’m used to it by now. Go outside and play with the other children.”
Reluctantly, Quirrel walked out of the classroom, looking back once or twice to peer at Monomon’s tired, slumped figure and tiny face smacking against the chalkboard.
Grimmchild flew up to Quirrel. “Open your mouth,” he said, while his wings morphed into buff, muscular, arms.
“What?” asked Quirrel.
“I said, OPEN YOUR MOUTH,” replied Grimmchild menacingly.
Quirrel hesitantly opened his mouth and Grimmchild quickly ripped out 12 of his teeth and ran away innocently. Quirrel watched him run away, in somewhat a daze.
“Wait!” he called to Grimmchild. Grimmchild turned around, flexing his arms threateningly as Quirrel reached out.
“If you want your teeth back, you ain't getting them,” he growled.
“Oh, that's not what I wanted to ask,” Quirrel replied, looking down on the ground.
“You're the child of supposedly Grimm and the Nightmare King, correct?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“How are you able to just… carry on?”
Grimmchild looked at Quirrel with reserved curiosity.
“What do you mean?”
Quirrel paused, scrunching his eyebrows in pensivity.
“Don’t they like… hate each other? Aren’t they always arguing? How are you always so… I don't know, happy? How do you carry on with all of that misery lumped on top of you?” There was a small pause before Grimmchild voiced his reply.
“Ripping out people’s teeth brings me joy,” Grimmchild chirruped with a toothy grin. “You should try ripping out people’s teeth too!”
“Uhh-” before Quirrel could question any more, Grimmchild flew off, cackling as madly as the Pale Lurker. However, he didn’t fly off fast enough.
As Grimmchild glided away, Quirrel heard him mutter something.
“They aren’t that bad. I know they seem like bad parents, but they aren’t.”
Surprised, Quirrel stood in stunned silence as Grimmchild flapped away, cackling as if he said nothing.
“BNENCHEB!!” could be heard from the last bench as Joth wouldn’t let anyone sit on the bench even though it was supposed to be for students. Some vessels began yelling at Koi and Moi, who had summoned Joth for no reason earlier.
“piano broke I room music in!” exclaimed Moi excitedly.
“OOOOH!” said Koi as a horde of vessels threw dirt and dead plants at her.
“My head looks like a garbage can,” noted Moi as some more students began throwing random bits of dust at Koi and Moi.
“YOOO ARE THE DID NOT ADJUST CHARMS CANNOT BECAUSE SUMMONED JOTH!” screeched SOAP as they kicked Koi’s nonexistent nose.
“I AM GORB,” said Gorb.
“No kidding,” muttered Lace as Tiso continued getting squashed by the Radiance’s fat pet Mawleek.
For some reason, Hornet decided that right about now was a great time to make her awesome return and she came rolling onto the top of Lace’s fat, smelly head yelling, “FLY CONDUCTOR, TAKE ME TO THE BEST BENCH!” Lace shrieked in terror as she slammed her head onto the ground, crushing Hornet the stinky spider. Hornet disappeared, leaving a silk cocoon for some odd reason. Two minutes later, Hornet emerged from nowhere and began eating the cocoon of silk she left earlier. Lace made a snorting sound of disgust as she looked at Hornet.
“What in the hey is wrong with you,” inquired Lace.
“Everything, shaw, is, shaw, wrong, shaw, with, shaw, me, shaw, but, shaw, you, shaw, are, shaw, even, shaw, more, shaw, messed, shaw, up, shaw, than, shaw, me, shaw,” replied Hornet as she continued shoveling silk into her eyeholes.
Lace nodded as if she understood whatever the heck Hornet was trying to say before flopping over and dying. Steel Assassin long-nosed guy started screaming as he saw Trobbio explode in a puff of green pollen and sourdough bread.
It was now the end of recess, and the students could hear Grimm screaming madly. Dung Defender happily made the trumpets play poop songs for no reason at all to accompany the miserable yowling of Grimm, the Nightmare King was outside, yelling at several students that they had to do 50 laps around the school accompanied by 30000 Primal Ass pids because they were late.
The children waddled miserably, for recess was over and nobody even got to change their charms because of the fat lumpy Joth thing that the stupid Moi and Koi had summoned.
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author stupidy (koi): have the ocs
even tho it says terzu is a boy she's a girl
also I put like no effort into this
and jake is technically Moi's oc
h