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Dean's mind was racing. Searching for a way to get out of the hopeless situation Billie had trapped them in.
They were locked in a room with one exit and she was right outside banging on the door.
“It was Chuck all along.” Dean's voice was filled with despair. “We never should have left Sam and Jack. We should be there with them now.”
Billies fist smashed at the door with vengeful fury. She was dying but she was going to make sure Dean and Cas came with her.
“Everybody’s gonna die Cas, everybody, I can’t stop it.” His words were full of despair and regret. “She’s gonna get through that door.”
“I know” Cas all but whispered.
“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me.” Dean stared at Cas begging him to meet Dean's eyes, but when he did it was only for a second.
“I’m sorry”
Castiel shook his head, an idea forming.
It was a risk but it was a risk he was willing to take.
“There is, there’s one thing strong enough to stop her.” Castiel was committed to the plan now, there was no going back.
“When Jack was dying, I made a deal - to save him.” Cas’s expression was hopeful, serene even. “The price was my life.” He stumbled over his words trying to get them out before it was too late.
Dean's expression changed and his face was filled with confusion and concern.
Castiel continued, “When I experienced a moment of true happiness, The Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Dean didn’t want to believe that Cas would do something so stupid.
“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse. I wondered, what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. And I never found an answer, because the one thing I want,” he shook his head in resignation but his face betrayed his hope, “it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know, I think I know now, happiness isn’t in the having, it's in just being.” He said the last word with reverence as if it was the answer to all the world's problems.
“It’s in just saying it.”
“What are you talking about, man?” Dean couldn’t understand what Cas was going to say that was so life changing.
Cas stepped closer, his eyes shining.
“I know, I know how you see yourself Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you, you’re destructive and you’re angry, you’re broken, you’re daddy’s blunt instrument and you think that hate and anger that’s what drives you, that’s who you are, it’s not..”
He said ‘not’ so honestly that Dean almost believed him.
“And everyone who knows you, sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.”
Dean couldn’t understand what was happening. Why was he saying this? Did Cas really believe that he did all of that for love? Did Dean even know the line between duty and love?
“You’re the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know”
And Cas smiled so sadly Dean wanted to believe it just to make him feel better and to stop him looking at Dean as if it was the last time he would ever lay eyes on him.
“You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you had changed me. Because you cared, I cared, I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me Dean.”
“Why does this sound like a goodbye” Dean could barely get the words out and they were toneless as Dean grappled with the enormity of what Cas was saying.
“Because it is.”
And Dean’s stomach fell to the floor and he stared at Cas his voice thick with sadness.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what came next.
“I love you”
And suddenly Dean couldn’t breathe, his throat was tight and his only thought was to not lose Cas.
“Don’t do this man” Don’t leave me, not again.
There was a noise on the wall behind him and Dean turned to see a black substance, like an oil spill come to life emerging from the wall.
The door swung open and Billie was standing in the doorway her scythe grasped tightly in her hand.
“Goodbye Dean” his voice was low and his eyes acknowledged his fate.
He grabbed Dean’s shoulder, his hand directly on top of where the handprint had been all those years ago.
He looked into Dean's eyes before pushing him to the floor.
A black spot appeared on the wall growing rapidly bigger and sprouting oily black tendrils into the room.
In a burst of adrenaline surprising himself and everyone else in the room he had jumped up and shouted one word with such commanding force that everyone turned to him and the black goo stopped its tendrils mid air, “NO!”
“Dean what are you doing?” Cas’s voice begged Dean to be quiet but before he could answer there was a noise like slime being squished too quickly and there was another person in the room.
“Meg?” Dean's voice was incredulous.
“Not quite Deano,” she smiled maliciously, “I’m here for your boyfriend. You see, Castiel and I, we have a deal.”
“You’re The Empty.” He realised.
“So Castiel, that speech was quite something. I guess that means your end of the deal is up.” She smirked and was about to move before a loud bang alerted the to the presence of Billie who they had forgotten in the confusion.
The expression on her face was closely guarded but there was a trace of fear betraying the fact that The Empty could easily kill Death if they chose.
From the moment they had arrived The Empty has been in control of the room and now was no exception. Billie had opened her mouth to speak but there was suddenly black goo pinning her mouth shut.
Dean knew what The Empty wanted and he also knew there was no way he was letting them get it.
He was going to protect that stupid sonovabitch if it was the last thing he did.
“I’m not letting you take him” Dean tried his hardest not to stutter and mostly succeeded although it still felt like there was something constricting his throat.
“You-“ he looked at Cas then back at The Empty, “You can have me instead”
“Dean, No” Castiel's voice was commanding but Dean ignored it, keeping his eyes fixed on The Empty.
“Well it’s not … conventional but I’ll sleep sweeter knowing that” their voice turned icy, “ The person who woke me up in the first place is going to suffer forever. If I took you would be fast asleep in microseconds.”
Castiel tried to move between Dean and The Empty but was instantly clamped down by the black slime.
Dean turned to face Cas, Castiel's eyes were red and his face seemed to crumple as he breathed in a heavy sob.
Dean's eyes prickled but he kept them focused on Cas’s anchoring him to the real world. He wanted Castiel to be the last thing he saw before The Empty took him.
“Thank You, Cas you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I have to do this, I couldn’t live without you, you know that and I Lo-“
He was hit from behind by a branch of black goo that coiled around him faster than he could say another syllable.
I’m an instant his waist down was covered, in another his shoulders and chest then finally he was swallowed by the blackness, Billie following a second later, apparently The Empty held a grudge.”
The slime that had been around Cas’s legs dribbled to the floor and disappeared leaving him standing in the middle of the empty room staring, unseeing at the spot Dean had disappeared from.