Work Text:
As Dean drives back to the bunker, he holds Cas’s hand.
He hasn’t really done it before, so Cas is a bit confused, but based on Dean’s far out look, he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. Castiel leaves his hand in Dean’s and looks out the window at the trees and houses and people rushing past. He will talk to Dean about it later.
Dean pulls into the garage, and shuts off the Impala with a gentle movement. It also means he has to let go of Castiel’s hand, which he was reluctant to do. He sat for a moment, parked with the engine running, just slightly moving his fingers between Castiel’s, as if memorizing them. When he pulled away, it was with a small reluctant sigh.
They walked into the bunker together, standing close, but hands decidedly apart. Sam was waiting in the main room, at one of the tables, nursing a half-empty beer. He looked up quickly when he heard footsteps. “How did it go?” He asked, looking from Dean to Castiel a few times. “Where’s Metatron?”
“He’s dead,” Castiel said quickly. Then he glanced between the brothers, and felt the need to explain himself. He didn’t want either of them to think he was reckless or hard to work with. “He was going to kill Dean, I had to --”
“Cas, it’s okay,” Dean cut him off, “We were going to kill him one of these days anyway. He didn’t have very much useful information.” He turned to Sam, and missed Castiel wilting ever so slightly at his words. “How you doing?”
Sam nodded, “Gadreel is workin’, you know,” He shrugged. “Almost done, I guess.”
“What about you? Are you feeling okay?”
Sam nodded again. “I feel fine,” He replied. “What’s with the third degree?” He looked quickly to Cas, who was starting to walk away, then back to Dean. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing that’s not already fixed,” Dean shrugged. Then, when Cas was gone, out of sight, Dean lowered his voice. “He got his grace back, and he kept saying something about not being useful --” He cut himself off and swallowed, shaking his head, almost in disbelief. “He still thinks we don’t want him here.”
Sam lowered his voice as Dean had, and asked, “Did you tell him that’s not true?” Dean didn’t reply. “Jesus, Dean, it’s not true, right?”
Dean opened his mouth and closed it before opening it again. “I want him here,” He said firmly, meeting Sam’s eyes to emphasize it further. “We’re just so stuck in this cycle of having to prove ourselves to each other and prove that we’re good enough or strong enough or whatever -- I just want -- I just want him here, without all that pressure of… expectations or whatever.” He scratched the back of his neck when he looked back at Sam -- who looked in awe. “Stop looking at me like that, Sammy.”
Sam shook his head into a small smile. “I just -- I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Shut up.”
“Have you told him any of this?”
“Not yet,” Dean shook his head. He put his arm back by his side and nervously picked at his fingernails. “I don’t know exactly how to… bring it up, I guess.”
Sam nodded in understanding. “Well I’m gonna find a book to read. I’ll be in my room.”
Dean waved him off and went searching for Cas.
-
Dean found him in the tv room -- the “Dean Cave” -- browsing channels on the tv. “Hey, Cas,” he said quietly, sitting next to the angel on the couch with a foot of space between them.
“Hello, Dean.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m not… tired , but I feel tired,” He put the remote down and turned his head to look at Dean, hoping his poor explanation made sense. He looked tired, leaning heavily back into the couch cushions and sitting still like he had melted to the spot. “I think my grace still needs some time to settle.”
“I’m sorry it’s… weird,” Dean shrugged. “Can we watch a movie together?”
“I’d like that, Dean.”
Dean got up to look for a DVD on the shelves around the tv, and put Talladega Nights into the DVD player. He went to sit back next to Castiel, this time close enough for their legs to barely touch, and excitedly gestures to the tv. “I saw this in theaters when it came out,” His smile is so big. “It’s really funny.”
Castiel couldn’t help but smile back, and Dean leaned back into the couch, relaxing next to Castiel, and pressed play. He rested his hands at his side, and the one closest to Castiel just happened to rest on Castiel’s hand. Castiel didn’t mind, even turned his hand over so they were properly holding hands.
It was gentle and peaceful, sitting with Dean like that. Castiel watched the movie, but mostly he turned his head and just watched Dean laughing and enjoying himself. When the credits rolled, Dean had joyful tears in his eyes, and laughed at the bloopers as they played.
When the screen went black, Castiel lifted his free hand -- his other one was still holding Dean’s -- and wiped Dean’s eyes gently. Dean’s face relaxed and he looked over at Cas with wonder, “Cas?” He whispered.
“Can I kiss you, Dean?”
Dean gulped, trying and failing to suppress a blush. He nodded, and leaned in closer to Castiel. It was a gentle kiss, with their hands linked between them, and their free hands reached to grab the back of the other man’s neck, fingers threading into hair, and lips moving gently.
Dean pulled away first, to take in a breath, and looked down quickly as Castiel’s lap before straddling it. He let go of Castiel’s hand and pulled the angel into a gentle hug, capturing his lips once more. Castiel held Dean lazily, kissing back slowly.
They broke apart for the final time when there was a knock at the door. Dean grumbled and dropped his head to Cas’s shoulder before reluctantly getting up.
He opened the door, “Hey, are you making dinner soon?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
Dean made burgers. He held Castiel’s hand at the table. And Sam didn’t say a god damned thing. Just smiled.