Work Text:
Hawks was in a strange situation.
He was on the ground, which was unusual enough, he preferred to fly if he could, but he was on the ground. He was crouching down, weight shifted onto the toes of his boots, better distributing his weight for the braces in his footwear that hid his bird-like feet. He was staring at a seagull, who was staring right back.
Hawks wasn’t particularly concerned about the seagull itself, much more enraptured by what the seagull was standing over. It was the shiniest pebble Hawks had ever seen, and that seagull was blocking him from getting it.
Hawks narrowed his eyes at the seagull, and the seagull squawked at him, not moving. He could feel his watch buzz, urging him to get to his agency before he was late for work, but he ignored it. The seagull lowered itself slightly to flap its wings at him a few times, letting out another squawk.
Hawks pulled his gloves off as he leaned forward in response, placing his hands on the ground to steady himself as he got on level with the other bird. Slowly, he snaked his hand forward, fingers outstretched, and as his talons just barely brushed against the surface of the pebble, the seagull pecked his hand. Hawks snapped his hand back to his chest with a pained hiss, and he leveled a glare at the seagull, which chittered mockingly at him.
He made a threatening click in the back of his throat as he slowly reached forward again, but whipped his arm back before the seagull landed another peck on him. In a near repeat of the seagull’s earlier display, Hawks extended his bright wings and flapped them harshly, his superior wingspan generating enough force to send the seagull stumbling back a few paces. Taking his opportunity, Hawks’ hand whipped out and snatched the pebble off the ground before the seagull could recover and attack him again.
“Ha-ha!” Hawks cried triumphantly, standing up and holding the pebble up to the light with a smile, admiring the colors. The pebble had a whole spectrum of reflected shades, looking almost like opal, and definitely making the bird scratch on the back of his hand worth it. Suddenly, he heard another screech, and glanced back towards the seagull and felt himself freeze.
It was no longer ‘seagull’ but ‘seagulls’. A lot of them. That were all staring at him.
Hawks swallowed roughly, taking a step back as he clenched the pebble in his fist. The seagulls hopped forwards toward him. He took another step, another wave forward. Step back, hop forward.
Hawks shot himself into the air, flapping his wings desperately as he heard the roar of hundreds of seagulls after him. He banked a sharp left, hoping the maze of the buildings of Fukuoka would offer him more protection, and raised a hand to his headset, patching a comm through to his agency, despite the fact that his shift hadn’t even started.
“Boss?” Snow Storm’s confused voices filtered through a few moments later. “Why’re you calling?”
Hawks let out a little chuckle that sounded slightly hysterical with the amount of adrenaline that was pumping through his veins at that moment. “Funny story,” he responded breathlessly. “So I was flying by the beach-”
“You got into a fight with the seagulls again,” Snow Storm stated, rather than asked.
Hawks clicked his tongue defensively, raising a hand to wave at civilians that looked up at the commotion overhead, trying to not panic as he spotted the large shadow the flock of seagulls cast over the streets. “I am shocked and appalled that you think so lowly of me-”
“I’ll open the window,” she interrupted tiredly.
“Yeah, thanks,” he responded before she cut the comm. He allowed himself a sigh of relief before he tuned back into the angry cries following him, and quickly formulated a path back to his agency since he had an escape route ready - it was only a few blocks away, so he could make it.
Twisting his wings to make a sharp right, he only allowed himself a small sympathetic wince as he heard some of the flock crash into the reflective building that was by then behind him. He continued to beat his wings, back quickly starting to burn from the task of trying to keep such precise flight at high speeds. His sharp eyes quickly spotted the window Snow Storm must have opened at his agency. Less than a block away.
Taking a deep breath, Hawks twisted his body into a sharp pseudo-pencil dive for the opening, wings snapping tight to his body. Carried forward by the momentum of his fast-paced flight, he shot through the window, prepared to flare his wings to stop himself (and inevitably send paperwork flying everywhere, earning another lecture from Takeuchi and Sukaka), but blinked in surprise when he immediately crashed into something soft.
The window quickly shut with a thud behind him, and Hawks reorientated himself to perch on the back of the couch instead of lying on it in a sprawled mess. He felt a vicious smirk cross his face at the sight of the flock of dozens (hundreds?) of seagulls screeching angrily outside his agency, but it quickly fell when he noted the disappointed stare Takeuchi leveled upon him.
“Uh…” he started awkwardly. “Nice day, isn’t it?”
“Hawks,” Takeuchi sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I thought getting a boyfriend would keep you from getting into these types of situations. Asami and the rest of PR keep having to scramble to cover up for you enough as it is.”
“I mean, look at it this way,” Masquerade cut in, staring at the scene upside down with a smile, head tilted back as she balanced her chair on two legs, “he hasn’t almost accidentally robbed any jewelry stores recently.”
“That was one time!” Hawks whined, wings puffing up in embarrassment.
“Boss, that was literally the best day of my life. I’ve never had a better call with the police station.”
“You do have a bit of a track record,” Osa added in hesitantly.
“You’re all so mean.”
“If we were mean, we wouldn’t have moved the couch to catch you,” Snow Storm said off-handedly.
“Yeah, speaking of,” he said, glancing down at the furniture, “how’d you move it here so fast? I literally called in like thirty seconds before I got here.”
“Masquerade made a bet with Osa about whether or not you were late because of another seagull fight, and she was confident enough that she got us all to help her move the couch.”
“And you helped her because…?”
“We thought she was right.”
“Your faith in me is astounding.”
“Don’t be like that, Boss,” Masquerade said. Now that his attention was drawn to it, he noticed the stack of yen on her desk that absolutely wasn’t there yesterday. “C’mon, show us the rock you got.”
Hawks clicked his tongue but obligingly held up the pebble nonetheless. The sidekick made an impressed noise.
“That’s a nice one.”
Hawks hummed absently in agreement tilting the small rock in the light of the morning sun, finally taking the time to fully admire the color and shine of the object. The conversation continued as he stared at it.
“I have an idea,” Masquerade started.
“Can you unthink that idea?” Snow Storm muttered.
“No. Anyway, if Staple-Face is Boss’ boyfriend, I don’t think he’ll take kindly to his birdie boy getting bullied by the seagulls.”
“Honestly, Dabi seems more the type to make fun of him because he’s getting bullied by seagulls,” Osa added in. In his peripheral vision, Hawks absently noted Takeuchi and Sukaka sharing a tired look and a sigh as he responded.
“Yeah, he kinda is.”
“Okay, but what if we convince him to roast the seagulls?”
“We don’t advocate-”
“-for bird murder, yeah, I know, Boss.”
“Have you considered spending more time on your paperwork instead of racking up animal violence charges?” Sukaka asked tiredly, Takeuchi draining the rest of her coffee next to her.
“Nowhere near as fun,” Masquerade said brightly, earning an eye roll.
“How are we even gonna get Dabi in on this?” Hanabi asked, looking over from his desk.
“Simple,” Masquerade said, whipping out her phone. “I’m gonna ask him.”
“And since when did you have a most-wanted criminal’s phone number?”
“Since I stole it from Boss’s phone.”
Hawks choked, eyes finally ripping away from the rainbow of colors to stare incredulously at Masquerade as she tapped away at her phone. “Since you what?”
“Boss, listen, did you think I wasn’t gonna find a way to keep an eye on him?”
“Yeah, but you can’t just ask him to-” he was cut off by a buzz from her cell. She glanced at it, and the mischievous smile that spread across her face at whatever the reply was didn’t make Hawks feel any better about the situation.
“He says he’s in. Just want a time and a place. Anybody feel like a bonfire at eight?”
“Give me that phone-!”
