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Kaminari considered his life a fairy tale - he had a great company of best friends, he began to understand a little bit of difficult and incomprehensible Aizawa's lessons, and for dessert - his seemingly non-reciprocal crash in Bakugou was greeted with a warm smile and the sweetest, though a little awkward first kiss.
And then, at some point, everything went wrong.
Denki is happy, really. He tries to study well, he gives all his best in training, he doesn't forget to rest and pay attention to his friends, not giving all his free time to his boyfriend.
And yet something is wrong. Kaminari feels like he's not good enough.
The whole Denki's personality is built on external self-confidence and charisma - earlier he easily accepted refusals from girls, only laughed and confidently continued to try again and again. Kaminari is easy, simple and fun. At least, that's how he always wanted to appear to others.
Denki counts 27 unsuccessful attempts at flirting and only one that matters the most, which was pretty much successful. And it's exactly the one that worries him most of all.
He understood perfectly well why he was refused, but he absolutely can't believe or understand that someone like Bakugou feels love for him.
Every day he feels only harder that he isn't enough. He doesn't have the best grades in the class, nor the best performance in training. He jokes stupidly and asks stupid questions with which he continues to overwhelm others. Kaminari just doesn't understand what Bakugou sees in him.
Accepting rejections was easy because Denki knew "why?", but he has no single idea why the future number one hero, one of the strongest and most successful students of their class, noticed him and fell in love in return.
Denki doesn't hate himself, no, it's not about that. He just doesn't understand. He thinks that he isn't good enough for Bakugou.
"Do you want to train?" Bakugou looks up and almost roll his eyes.
"I've fucking had it with you, Pikachu. I don't wanna train."
"And it's you who tells me this? A person who, if only could, would train 24/7?"
Denki almost finds it funny.
"I would have no complaints if each of our fucking training wouldn't end with half an hour kissing on the floor." A long time ago Kaminari stopped blushing at any mention of romantic things from Bakugou. That's why the only thing he feels now is shame.
People may think that Katsuki is narrow-minded in understanding human feelings, but even he notices the change on Denki's face.
"What did I say wrong?" Lately, shame is the only thing that Denki feels. He is ashamed of himself, of his actions.
He is ashamed that he isn't good enough.
"Hey pikachu, speak with your mouth!" Kaminari wants to say a lot. He wants to say that he is sorry that he ruins all their trainings together, because he just can't keep himself from kissing Bakugou. Just because he can. Just because he wants to.
He is sorry that sometimes he says completely stupid things that Bakugou has to blush for, because it's his boyfriend who "says some fucking stupid shit". Kaminari wishes he could be on par with Bakugou. He wishes his boyfriend could be proud of him.
Denki is just fucking sorry that he isn't enough.
"Why are you even dating me?" You can rarely see genuine surprise on Katsuki's face, but Denki generally sees many things that are inaccessible to others. For example, that he is clearly not the best pair for Bakugou. For example, that Katsuki just hadn't figured out that he deserves better.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Bakugou is trying, really. But he's just a teenager who doesn't understand himself well, let alone others. It's Bakugou's first love and first relationship, so he tries his best not to screw them up. If only he would know how to fucking do it.
"You know, Kirishima is as simple and funny as I am, but he is closer to you in terms of skills and perseverance, why didn't you choose him?"
"Shitty hair? Are you just completely stupid or what?" Seeing Denki's hunted gaze, Bakugou realizes that he fucked up. Seeing the protruding tears, he realizes that he fucked up so fucking badly.
Katsuki is really bad at understanding other people's feelings and psychology. Yet he tries. Yet he gently reaches for Kaminari's hand, squeezing it in his. And yet he reaches for his face, forcing Denki to look at himself.
"I am dating you because loving you is easy." A huge amount of analyzes of this phrase rushes through Denki's thoughts, most of which don't represent anything pleasant.
And that's why Katsuki speaks earlier.
"I'm dating you, and not Kirishima, because I'm in fucking love with you, not him. I was all on my own, almost fucking glad to be alone, until you came in on time." Denki would be mercilessly lie if he said that he had not forgotten how to breathe at that moment.
"You had me fucked up, Pikachu. I didn't understand how I felt and what to do about it."
Bakugou doesn't understand not only the feelings of others, but also his own. Mina says that this is why he is so aggressive - it's difficult to live when there's no peace with yourself.
"And then you told me that you like me and, fuck, loving you is the simplest and most understandable thing in my life."
"But I..."
"But you're just fucking overthinking. I don't need you to be first or the best, that's my fucking job. Your job is to remain who you are." Katsuki gently strokes Kaminari's hand with his fingers. "Please don't change a single little thing for me". Denki can't hold his tears anymore.
Loving is easy when everything is perfect. Something like this Kaminari was expecting from falling in love, which is why he was looking forward to it. But Bakugou is always looking for difficult paths, always chooses more trials and obstacles. Perhaps that is why the imperfect Kaminari suits him better than everyone else.
Denki could name hundreds of reasons why he loves Bakugou - his tenacity, steadfastness, eternal desire to be better and yes, fucking good looks are also included.
Katsuki will tell you as many things and even more about Kaminari, even though if they are different. Let it be silly jokes, let it be a funny expression after overusing his quirk, or even let it be silly questions that make Katsuki laugh. Bakugou will name one hundred imperfect and stupid reasons why he loves Kaminari.
And one day (one of them believes) Bakugou will definitely name a thousand ideal reasons - like a charming smile, loyalty to friends, or yes, even a fucking handsome appearance. And one day, Kaminari will definitely believe it.
They're gonna get through it. Bakugou will make sure of that.