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It's a common misconception that the people who eat alone are lonely. More often than not, Joohyun actually prefers the solitude.
She likes the peace that comes with eating alone—books piled on the side as she helps herself to a steaming hot bowl of beef ramyeon, and the occasional cup of coffee. Her crumpled up notes are usually scattered about the small table as she hums to a tune playing through her earpods.
It's healing, she would often say.
She wasn't particularly fond of the idea of needing company to begin with. Quite frankly, she thinks that the unnecessary dependency was sad. What was the big deal, anyway?
When she met Seungwan, the girl was adamant on making her get used to another person's presence whenever she decided to stuff her face with food, passionately claiming that it was always better to have a friend to gossip with over lunch.
Joohyun didn't agree with her a hundred percent, but she relented, nonetheless.
At first, the raven-haired girl only tagged along because she didn't have the heart to tell the blonde no. With Seungwan being one of the sweetest people she'd ever met, it was a bit difficult to deny her a few hours of mindless conversation about people she'd never even heard of, all the while they munched on below-average cafeteria meals.
It wasn't until Seulgi came along that Joohyun started to change her mind.
About a lot of things.
- -
lunch?
The med student briefly glances at the time on the bottom of her screen and sighs.
Even if she does finish her test before the period ends, there was no way in hell that Professor Kwon would let her out of the room without the rest of the class's papers perched upon his desk.
So, she waits, impatiently, until the balding doctor walks past her row before she sneaks a text to Seulgi in reply. The current situation leaving her no choice but to decline.
can't, seul
exam with kwon til 2pm
It doesn't take two seconds for the younger girl to respond, the typing bubble gone just as soon as it had appeared.
:(
that's okay, i can wait
Joohyun frowns upon reading this. As much as she loves being able to spend time with the brunette, she'd much rather that the girl would go ahead and eat without her this time.
Her class doesn't end until an hour and a half, and she'd be damned if she'd let Seulgi spend her precious time waiting for her when she can perfectly use that time to eat and get some rest.
don't you dare
i can't leave until our time's up,
you know this
i know
that's why i'm not asking
you to leave, dumbass
i just said that i'm gonna
wait until you're done
like hell you are
go eat lunch with the others
i know you're hungry
and you're not?
my stomach can wait, seul
then so can mine
Joohyun groans. Arguing with the girl always did require her a truckload of patience and self-control.
Seulgi was exceptional at rebuttals.
You could have a solid three-page argument studied and memorized, and the younger girl would still come up with something to say.
It was admiring as it was annoying.
why are you so stubborn?
says the girl who won't
let me wait for her??
afksjsk it's just lunch
just go already
you're wasting perfectly
good napping time!
and YOU'RE wasting
perfectly good seulgi time!
not to sound clingy but
i haven't seen you since
friday, bae
and it's freaking tuesday :/
i am unequivocally
bae joohyun-deprived
if i don't get my hugs soon
i am going to die
A hearty laugh threatens to spill from Joohyun's lips as she reads the string of messages, the warmth in her chest spreading like a pleasing wildfire as she bites the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling.
She was not going to get herself in trouble with old doc baldy here just because Seulgi was being cute over text.
stop being overdramatic
i'm not, i'm being serious
don't you miss me?
Joohyun's thumbs hover over the screen for a while, her gaze softening as her right hand shoots up to caress the aching spot right above her heart.
Of course she does.
She had been lucky enough to attend the quarterly med student summit over the weekend with two other upperclassmen and had only gotten back this morning.
The event was held at another university across the province, accommodating only the best students from the best schools in the area. With her excellent grades and humble recommendations from her undergrad professors, it was unsurprising that the raven-haired girl had been selected despite her being a mere freshman.
It was a pretty big deal to be attending such an event, but when Seulgi called her up that Saturday evening, repeating all throughout their conversation that she misses her, Joohyun had half a mind to ditch the exclusive summit and hop on the first bus ride back home.
Because it's Seulgi.
Of course she misses her, too.
it's only been three days, seul
But she'll never tell her that.
you in love with me
or something?
She leans her head back against her chair's plastic headrest after sending the text.
This was always Joohyun's way of coping, joking around with the younger girl in attempts to get some kind of grip on her emotions. After all, having more than platonic feelings towards a friend was a difficult secret to keep in. Some risky words were bound to slip out one way or another.
She was about to put her phone away after hearing footsteps approaching from the back of the room when a reply came in, making her regret messing around in the first place.
madly
And there goes her heart again.
She's very much aware that the younger girl doesn't mean anything by it, but that doesn't stop her insides from doing somersaults every single time Seulgi talks to her like this.
It was just one word, for crying out loud.
She takes a few seconds to compose herself, scribbling a few letters on her answer sheet before she diligently types away on her phone once more.
okay, fake casanova
i'll make you a deal
you stop harassing my inbox
for the rest of the day
and we can get
dinner together after school
hmmm
how's that sound?
tempting...
do you promise?
yes, ugly
type it down
i promise
promise what?
SIGHHH
i promise to have dinner
with you later, seul
that's better
okay, bae
i'll see you later :)
you're insufferable
"Miss Bae."
A voice calls out, making the med student wince in her seat. She completely forgot that she was in the middle of an exam.
She glances up to see Professor Kwon looking sternly at her, his ever-so-popular red pen sitting idly between his fingers as he taps on the wooden podium up front.
"No cellular phones, please." He simply states.
Joohyun quickly shuts her screen off before shoving the device back in her knapsack, mentally cursing herself for getting too distracted.
"Y-Yes, Doc. Sorry."
He stares at her seriously, eyes skeptical under his unusually large half-moon spectacles before nodding once and leaving her be.
It wasn't until he called out another student from the third row that the raven-haired girl was able to let out a quiet sigh of relief. She hunches back on her desk and quickly returns to answering her neglected midterm exam sheets.
She really needed to sort out her priorities.
--
It was almost three in the afternoon when Joohyun came out of the exam room, tummy rumbling from the lack of food in her system.
Professor Kwon had decided to hold her back a few minutes to discuss some important things about the next summit. As honored as she was, Joohyun was dangerously close to strangling the man for prolonging her much-awaited dismissal. The last meal that she had consumed was the sandwich she whipped up right before she left for school eight hours ago. She might just eat a living cow at this point.
The Snickers ad was right. You're not you when you're hungry.
She was about to walk down the stairs when a particular someone caught her eye, her familiar head of brown locks leaned back against a pillar as she sat, comfortably, on top of a third-floor brick sill.
The girl waves at her, eyes disappearing behind shut lids as she smiles and lets out a yawn.
"Took you long enough." She sleepily remarks afterwards, tilting her body sideways to get a better view of the med student standing a few feet away from her.
"Seulgi?" Joohyun breathes out in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
She pads towards the direction of the younger girl and quietly sucks in a breath.
Just how long had she been away for? If she recalls correctly, it had only been three whole days since she'd last seen the girl in person. How was it possible for Seulgi to have grown even more beautiful than she remembers in such a short amount of time?
Dammit.
"You're staring." The brunette points out smugly, swinging her denim-clad legs over one side to face the older girl.
She immediately reaches out to slide Joohyun's knapsack off of her shoulders before settling it gently on her own lap.
"You know, for someone so smart, you ask the dumbest questions." Seulgi quips mockingly, pulling the raven-haired girl closer by her elbows to settle in the space between her legs. "Considering that my building's two departments over, it's quite obvious that I'm here for you, isn't it?"
Joohyun looks up at her, watching quietly as the architecture student fixes up the collar of her shirt. The tips of her fingers smoothening out the fabric's edges before she runs them through the older girl's tousled black hair gently.
Joohyun felt like a child.
"Yah! I told you not to wait for me." She murmurs, eyebrows scrunched together in both annoyance and concern at the thought of Seulgi waiting for her alone.
Had she been out here all this time?
Seulgi chuckles, mimicking the shorter girl's grumpy expression as she sandwiches Joohyun's cheeks between her delicate hands.
"And I told you that I would." She states matter-of-factly, holding onto the girl's shoulders as she hops off of the chalky brick sill.
Joohyun's hands naturally shoot up to support her by the waist, the inside of her palms brushing slightly against the exposed skin of the brunette's stomach.
As soon as the girl's feet had hit the ground, she retracts, the brief contact making her heart race uncontrollably in her rib cage. No matter how many times she tries to get used to it, the burning feeling in her chest would never seem to allow her to. Always reminding her that she was already doomed from the start.
Seulgi dusts off the chalk from her pants before facing the older girl properly, her arms stretched out wide as she raises an expectant eyebrow the shorter girl's way. "Well?"
Joohyun blinks at her in confusion. "Well what?"
"You haven't given me my hug yet." Seulgi states, causing the corners of Joohyun's lips to tug upwards in an annoyed smile.
"Ew." Joohyun playfully remarks. "Why would I give you a hug?"
Seulgi rolls her eyes at the girl in feign irritation before pulling Joohyun flush against herself in one swift movement, her slender arms looping around the shorter girl's neck as she wraps her in a warm embrace.
"I've missed you." Seulgi mumbles into Joohyun's shoulder, her grip on the raven-haired girl's shirtsleeves loosening as she closes her eyes, leaning into her heavily.
Joohyun chuckles at the action, completely unfazed by the girl's upper body weight falling limply against her small frame. She gently moves them to the side so as to not get in the way of the people passing by.
The third floor of the College of Medicine building was a busy place, having most of the lecture halls and examination rooms situated on it.
"You're such a baby." Joohyun teases, mockingly, leaning her back against the brick sill so she doesn't have to worry about losing her balance. "Is baby Seulgi tired?" She quips.
"Exhausted." The younger girl mumbles, weakly. "You know I can't sleep without you."
Joohyun snorts, playfully pushing the girl away to reveal a smiling Seulgi who still had her eyes closed. The girl was messing with her.
"Okay, that was a lie." Joohyun points out with a shake of her head, blocking the other girl's advances of sinking into her again. "Nope! No more for you. Don't you dare come any closer."
Seulgi laughs. "No. My hugs!"
"Yah!" Joohyun chuckles, swatting the brunette's hands away, lightly. "Kang Seulgi! What did I just say?"
"I don't care. Come here!" Seulgi exclaims before trapping the med student in her arms again, smiling triumphantly when the girl finally stops squirming in her grasp. "Mine." She mumbles cheekily, causing Joohyun's ears to treacherously turn a faint shade of pink.
"Oh my god. You're so annoying." Joohyun breathes out, silently enjoying their current close proximity as she rests her chin on Seulgi's left shoulder.
The raven-haired girl's body immediately relaxes after a while, her own hands burying themselves in the back pockets of the younger girl's jeans because Seulgi had once expressed that she found the gesture weirdly comforting.
She audibly chuckles, breathing in the brunette's familiar scent as the two of them rocked each other gently from side to side. It reminded her of something she listened to the day before.
What was that song again?
In her arms you will never starve.
Ah, yes.
Joohyun had grown fond of it after realizing that the song pretty much sums up both their friendship and her feelings towards the architecture student very well.
In her arms you will never starve
You will never freeze
And when the world is hard
You can fall asleep there
From the outside looking in, it may seem like Joohyun was the only one making an effort in their friendship, but in reality, Seulgi takes care of her far more than she does the brunette.
In a world of chaos
She could be your silence
The oceans of her kindness
They will pull you under
They will pull you under
Seulgi was a silent source of strength for her, lifting her spirits and warming her heart in the best ways possible. She made her feel appreciated, made her feel safe, and always made sure that she knew just how loved she was by the people around her.
Joohyun never thought that it would be possible—to have someone in her life that could affect her so much in such a positive way.
Oh, Kang Seulgi.
You and the cursed things you make me feel.
"I missed you, too." Joohyun mumbles back after a while, reluctantly pulling away as she retrieves the girl's arms from around her neck and gingerly sets them down to her sides. "I'm starving. Have you seriously not eaten lunch yet?"
Seulgi pouts at the sudden lack of warmth, turning around, begrudgingly, to pick up their discarded things on the hallway floor.
She shakes her head in response, shifting their belongings to one side so she could hold the older girl's hand without obstruction on the other.
"I ate pizza with Seungwan and Sooyoung around lunch time, if that counts." The younger girl replies, mindlessly swinging their clasped hands back and forth as they trudged down the stairs. "But, I'm hungry. Do you wanna check out the new café next to Apollo's before I drive you home?"
Joohyun quirks up an eyebrow at her in confusion. "We're heading home?" She asks, to which Seulgi nods in response. "I thought we were grabbing dinner together later?"
"We are. But, we're having dinner at your place." Seulgi grins. "You're gonna cook for me."
Joohyun scoffs. "Says who?"
"Says me, of course."
"Wow. And I don't I have a say in this?"
"Oh, you do." Seulgi replies cheekily, holding the door open for the older girl as they cut their way through the university library. "You get to say 'Yes, Seul. I'm gonna cook for you because you're my favorite person in the world.'" She grins. "Something like that."
A laugh bubbles up Joohyun's throat as they walk between the bookcases towards the nearest exit. "Not even in the slightest, Kang Seulgi. I like Yerim more than I like you."
"Ouch. Now, why would you lie?" Seulgi chuckles, flashing Joohyun that godforsaken smile that makes her roll around in bed like a lovesick idiot every single night.
God, she's so pathetic.
"Besides," Seulgi starts once again. "It doesn't really matter who your favorite is because I'm the one you get to be with everyday."
"I'm the one who drives you home, the one who laughs at your extremely lame jokes, the one who carries all of your unreasonably heavy medical stu—seriously, Bae, what the hell are your textbooks made of? Rocks?" She quips, earning a slap to the shoulder and a hearty laugh from the older girl before she continues on with her sudden speech. "I'm the one who drives away your crazy ex-girlfriends, the one who keeps your tiny hands warm, and the one who makes sure that there's a smile on that annoying face of yours as often as I can."
"It doesn't matter if I'm not your favorite person, golden girl." Seulgi repeats, squeezing Joohyun's palm affectionately in her own as they stop right in front of the younger girl's kansas beige 1973 Beetle. "At least I get to show you that you're mine."