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It was the day before they were supposed to go east. At Sasara’s suggestion, they had agreed to meet at the top of Tsutenkaku – no alcohol, no distractions, just the two of them. It was night, but the light of the tower and the waning moon shone bright overhead.
As Sasara made his way through the streets that he knew like the back of his hand, a million thoughts ran through his head. Everything they'd been through - all the merriment, the pain - had led them here. Here and now. His body was buzzing with adrenaline. It was the familiar high of being just about to go onstage.
Inside, the guard recognized him and let him in for free. Sasara tried to turn down the offer, but the man insisted that the only payment he needed was a handshake.
“We’re all countin’ on you!”
When he got to the top, stepping outside into the cool night air, Rosho was already waiting. He was staring up at the sky and Sasara wasn’t sure if he noticed his presence or not.
The moon was even bigger from here.
He approached his friend with his hands in his pockets, reaching for something that wasn’t there. Now would be the perfect time for a smoke, he thought wistfully.
He stood next to Rosho, looking out over the city down below as Rosho looked up.
“This reminds me so much of that time,” Sasara finally spoke, voice heavy with emotion. Rosho turned to look at him, his expression unreadable.
“Tsu~ ten~ kaku!” Sasara clapped and struck a pose with his hands in the air, a goofy grin spreading across his face. “D’ya remember?”
Rosho stared at him with wide eyes, and at first Sasara worried he’d made a mistake bringing it up. But then, Rosho smiled fondly and Sasara's chest melted.
“How could I ever forget?”
The other man had changed – age had smoothed out some of his rough edges, but behind those round glasses (the ones Sasara chose, the ones he was still wearing after all this time) the spark in his red eyes was still the same. And his mind, the one that saw things from a unique point of view, the one that had captivated Sasara from the beginning – that hadn’t changed.
Even though things had changed between them, somehow they still didn’t at the same time. They still played off each other, could read one another, knew what the other was thinking.
Rosho was anxious – he didn’t say it out loud, but Sasara could see it. He could see it in his hands, the way they trembled slightly whenever they discussed the upcoming battle, in the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was fired up, yes, but still anxious. This time Sasara paid attention.
“Feelin’ ready?” Sasara asked. Rosho nodded, not meeting Sasara’s eyes, but then hesitated. The silence hung heavy in the air.
“I…" Rosho cleared his throat. "I don’t wanna let you down again.”
“You won’t.” Sasara didn’t falter in his response, and he didn’t need to. He believed in what he said - believed in Rosho. He gave his partner his most encouraging smile.
“I’ll be there the entire time, right beside ya! Rei will, too. So even if anything happens, we’ve got your back.”
“Yeah…”
Sasara swallowed, inching closer to his friend. He was unsure if he was doing the right thing, but adrenaline and the desire to comfort Rosho overpowered any doubts.
“If you get nervous, you can hold my hand.” He said it like it was a joke, smiling. But still, he reached out with an unsteady hand and gently intertwined their fingers. “Like this.” His voice caught in his throat, coming out softer than he intended.
“T-that’s stupid…” Rosho protested, but Sasara saw the way his eyes softened.
Rosho didn’t pull away.
“Rosho?” Sasara's heart pounded in his chest.
He wanted to lay everything out, bare before them both. If ever there was a time to do it, it would be now.
I wanted to reach out, so badly, but I didn’t say anything. I saw, but I didn't say anything. That time, I let it get too bad too late and I couldn’t fix it. I’m sorry.
“Losing you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” he settled on. Rosho didn’t respond and he searched for words to fill the silence.
“It just wasn’t the same – never was… without you, I mean. Um,” He realized he was rambling.
He looked over and in astonishment, he saw that Rosho's eyes were watery. And the dam broke. He wasn't sure who moved in first, but then they were pressing their foreheads together, fingers still intertwined and it felt like home.
“No, I’m sorry, I'm so sorry - I was the stupid one. I promise I won't leave, I never want to leave again...”
Sasara felt hot tears sting at the corners of his own eyes as Rosho let loose a stream of muttered apologies and words, words that he'd been holding back for years. He barely made sense, but Sasara understood.
“I won’t lose sight of what’s most important this time,” Sasara said, trying to regain his composure.
“Dotsuitare Hompo?” Rosho’s voice was choked up when he responded.
“No, the people in it.” You.
"Sasara..." Rosho squeezed his hand and Sasara wanted to pull him closer, but didn't.
Finally, they pulled away from each other. Rosho wiped at his eyes. It had felt like the moment lasted forever, and yet it still wasn't long enough.
“We’ll be okay,” Sasara said, and believed it. “More than okay.”
“We’ll get to the top.” Rosho sounded steady for the first time that night. The determined look in his eyes ignited a fire inside Sasara's belly. It was the spark that had set off his dream, so long ago.
“Now that’s the spirit.” He smiled, as genuine as he ever had.
“Heh." Rosho shook his head, the only acknowledgment that they'd both just been acting ridiculous. "Thanks, Sasara… for everything.”
Rosho turned to go back inside the building and Sasara thought he was leaving him behind, but then he stopped and looked over his shoulder. “…Staying over tonight?” It was hard to tell in the darkness, but Sasara thought he looked embarrassed.
“’Course!” Sasara grinned and caught up to him. He paused one last time, looking up.
“Hey, Rosho... Don’t you think the moon looks beautiful tonight?”
The look on his partner’s face in that moment was worth everything to him.
This time we’ll get to the top, together.