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"And finally, there's an appointment for you, Thor," Darcy listed, now that she was in charge of the planning for the Avengers. "It's at two with Dr Granger, a scientist working for the British Government."
"Surely you mean for me?" Stark scoffed.
"No. Funny that, right? I even called back to check they got the right person, but I said what I said: they want Thor."
"They probably just want to measure his pecs," Stark grumbled as he wandered off, obviously jealous of the godly physique, but Darcy knew if she were a guy, she would totally be as well.
"It will be my pleasure to meet this doctor of science. Does he work with Lady Jane?"
Darcy winced. Jane had broken up with Thor after he had failed to visit her between all his duties. Jane might be her friend, but she was crazy: better a little Thor than no Thor at all. But, despite regretting her decision almost immediately, Jane had chosen to bury herself in her work instead, and she was too proud to go back to him.
For his part, Thor respected her decision, but Darcy still found him moping now and again about his lost Lady Love.
"With Jane? No... I don't think so. Never heard of a Granger before, actually," Darcy shrugged. "If they give you any trouble, just say there's an emergency and skedaddle out of there. Okay, big guy?"
Thor polished his armour and hammer, then sat in the Wheely Throne of the Conference Room a full five minutes before the doctor of science was due to arrive. He knew their time was precious thanks to his Lady… no… to the Lady Jane.
At two sharp, Thor acknowledged the knock on the door.
In walked the most striking woman Thor had ever set eyes on. Thor knew the aura of magic that shrouded her as surely as he knew his mother's, so he knew she was powerful. As much as Loki, he'd wager. Wait… Could this be a trap? Could this be Loki? He had been known to crossdress in his time of need after all, so Thor wouldn't put it past him.
"You can put your hammer down, Mr Thor. I swear on my magic I am no threat to you," she said with a pointed look at Mjolnir.
Thor had not even realized he had grasped his hammer, but now he knew she was not Loki in disguise.
"I apologize, my Lady. I thought you were my brother up to some mischief."
She raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by his mistake.
"And how did you figure out I am not?"
"Loki would not lower himself to calling me 'Mr Thor' for all the riches in the realms."
The lady laughed, causing a swarm of butterflies to invade his insides. Had she cast a spell on him already? His grip on his hammer strengthened once more.
"What did I do now?" she asked, eyes widening.
"Did you cast a spell on me?" Thor demanded.
"No!" she seemed truly outraged at the thought. "I would never! Not on a God. I'm not sure my magic would even have any effect on you. Why? Are you not feeling well?"
Thor puffed up his chest. He could not let anyone think he was less than godly. He waved off her question by asking one of his own. A speciality the Man of Iron had taught him.
"Why have you sought me out, Lady Granger?"
"I...uh...right," she stuttered, all flustered while she rummaged through her leather case to take out a picture of a stone bowl. "This artefact has been causing me some trouble. Could you help me translate some of these runes? I have never seen them before, and I can't help the person who drank from it."
Despite honouring the appointment, Thor was surprised this doctor of science had really come for his opinion as an expert. He felt strangely proud he was regarded as such, and even more that he could be of help.
"It would be my pleasure, but may I ask why anyone would drink from this accursed cup?"
"From what I could gather, the victim is an imbecile who thought it would give them more power," Lady Granger said, rolling her eyes in such a pretty manner.
From that point on, they worked diligently together on translating every rune on the cup, and Thor wished there had been more when they were done.
"Thank you, Mr Thor. With your precious help, I'm sure I'll be able to find a counter-curse. It was very kind of you to let me pick your brain."
Thor would have happily offered his help again, but a loud snort from the door interrupted them.
"You're kidding, right? You came all the way here from the UK to pick Thor's brains? No hard feelings, Point Break, but you're not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed."
Thor frowned at the Man of Iron, unsure what had prompted such mockery from him. Thor was as surprised as he was hurt by his friend's cutting words.
"I did," Lady Hermione replied frostily, looking down her nose at the Man of Iron. "And I consider myself incredibly lucky he accepted to lend me his precious time and expertise. Thanks to him, I can save an idiot from a slow, painful death."
Lady Hermione took a step closer to the Man or Iron, wrath etched in her face and fury dancing in her hair, like Ragnarok personified. The Man of Iron took a step back.
"And you, Stark, should count yourself lucky to be his friend, because it is the only thing keeping me from trapping you in a jar to add you to my little collection of bugs."
Thor grinned. This was turning out to be a most enjoyable battle of words. He reluctantly turned his attention back to the Man of Iron to see how he would lash back, as he so often did, but to his surprise, Tony Stark was looking at the lady Hermione with renewed interest.
"Where did you say you worked at?"
"I didn't," she snapped, then turned back to regard Thor with a warm smile. "Mr Thor. It was a pleasure to meet you."
"May we meet again, my Lady," Thor replied with a bow of his head.
"Anytime," she said and winked at him.
Then she disappeared with a bang. Thor was enchanted.
"How...? What the hell?" the Man of Iron muttered. "Where did she go?"
"Home, I assume," Thor replied coolly, and the two men eyed each other.
"I call dibs," Tony Stark said.
"I do not know what that means," Thor objected with a frown at the unfamiliar Midgardian saying.
"It means I get to ask her out first, because I said so first."
Just as Thor feared, but it was a ridiculous notion.
"She hates you," Thor pointed out.
"As if that ever mattered. No one can resist my irresistible charm for long. Hey, Jarvis?'
"Yes, sir."
"Be a doll and find this Hermione Granger for me?"
"Tis a race, then, Man of Iron?" Thor asked, keeping his smile in check.
The Man of Iron glanced at him distractedly.
"Sure, big guy. I know you can fly and all, but not as fast as my suit, and you won't even know where to head, but sure, let's call it a race to win the lady's heart."
"Perfect," Thor replied, rubbing his hand in anticipation while his friend looked on with amusement. "Heimdall!"
"Wait! No!" the Man of Iron exclaimed when he understood his grievous mistake, but it was already too late for him.
Thor was transported to a charming little cottage nestled in a darkened forest. Lady Hermione, who had been opening her door, turned around in surprise, eyes wide. But her expression of fright soon morphed into one of open joy at seeing him. Him.
"What took you so long?" she asked, making Thor's heart race as sure as he had won the race to the Lady's heart.