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Superheroes were all the fad nowadays the more people with powers made their coming out to the world. There were the Fantastic Four (urgh, pretentious much?), the X-Men (better suited to name a boy's band), The Defenders (clearly a rip off of The Avengers...), and even the Magicals (so unimaginative, come on...), as well as many more individuals who had not yet banded together.
What Tony liked best about all these weirdos meeting up was the parties. They were never boring. Tonight they were celebrating their joined victory over yet another alien invasion. Few victims and little damage. They were getting good at it, or the aliens were getting worse… Tony shook off the maudling thought. It was not like him. People expected happy-Tony tonight, and he was happy to oblige. He talked people's ears off, made them laugh, flirted outrageously with anything that had a pulse, then headed to the bar for a refill.
"Darcy, sweetheart," he greeted upon finding her sitting there sipping a rainbow cocktail. "I'll have whatever the hell that is," he told the barmaid as he pointed at her drink.
"You can't handle this level of sugar, old man," Darcy replied.
"Watch me," Tony said as he was handed his drink and he took a sip of it.
He froze. It was disgusting, like taking a bite out of a unicorn, but he could not let a little girl best him, so he forced a smile on his face and took another sip.
"Great! Love it!" he exclaimed, when all he wanted was to find trashcan to vomit in.
Darcy burst out laughing, then sipped her own sugar-rainbow as she scanned the rooftop. Tony followed her gaze. He knew what she was doing. Darcy was famous for being an exceptional matchmaker. Some said it was her superpower, although in reality, she was just tagging along these parties with Thor and his lady friend.
"Found a new victim yet?" Tony asked.
"Uhm, no," Darcy sighed, focusing her attention back on him before her eyes lit up. "Or did I? "
"You can't be serious," Tony scoffed.
"What? I haven't tried pairing you up yet," Darcy protested.
"Only because I forbade you to."
Darcy snorted and sipped more of her rainbow drink at alarming speed.
"That's not why I didn't, I simply respected your post-breakup moping period, but that is now over and done with, my friend. Time to get… you… laid…"
Tony would find her funny if he wasn't her intended victim. If he was lucky, she would not find anyone suitable and Tony would simply avoid her and her weirdly specific superpower in the future.
"Aha!"
Oh, fuck no, Tony told himself as he turned on his heels, but Darcy caught the lapel of his vest, stopping him dead in his tracks. She was strong for such a little lady.
"You're gonna love her," Darcy whispered at his back, like a creepy crone from old fairy tales.
A shudder of fear ran all the way down Tony's back. He was not nearly drunk enough for this.
"But I don't wanna…" he whined.
Love was nothing but trouble and heartache, not worth the few brilliant moments of pure happiness. Tony knew he would mess up, again . His heart was not wired for love, and he would only make his match miserable. He knew it, he-
"Tony, this is Hermione," Darcy said, pinching him when she noticed he was not paying attention.
When he did, Tony was surprised. Given his reputation and past conquests, he had expected Darcy to introduce him to a leggy beauty with an interesting decolletage, not the shorter woman with the confidant dark eyes and absolutely crazy wild hair gazing at him with polite interest. There was an air about her, something all knowing, as if she had seen too much, lost too many, hurt to hell and back… Tony was seeing a kindred spirit, her eyes a mirror of those he saw in his bathroom every morning.
Tony wanted to know her, her story, talk to her till his mouth ran dry, heal the wounds that touched her soul and see how they matched his own.
He glanced at Darcy, who nodded back with satisfaction.
Damnit, she had done it again.