Work Text:
Yuuta knew his resolve wasn't the strongest, and he knew it would never be. His resolve wasn't as glaring nor stubborn as Maki's to trample her family by being a famous sorcerer, his resolve wasn't as adamant as Inumaki's to change the way of his speech forever just to protect other's lives, and his resolve wasn't as unwavering as Gojou-sensei's despite Yuuta was never sure what his teacher possibly wanted.
Yuuta knew his resolve wasn't the strongest, but he knew it wasn't the weakest either.
So when he heard about Shibuya, about what was going on and what had happened, Yuuta believed his eyes had darkened once again. His soul shook at the mention of the dire casualties, numerous of lives that had lost during the great, morbid battle of sorcerers and curses. People's and sorcerers' wise, everything was lost by the reincarnated King of Curses inside his underclassman's body.
And as the news of Inumaki losing his arm by the said underclassman reached his ears, Yuuta was raged beyond belief. It was raw, blazing and vile, the kind of rage Yuuta once experienced when Getou Suguru attacked the school, attacked his friends to the point Yuuta saw nothing but red and black.
Red from their splattered blood, and black from his boiling wrath.
Even if Yuuta heard that Gojou-sensei favoured this underclassman so much, he didn't budge and stilled his ears only for the orders from the higher-ups that his teacher loathed gravely. Gojou-sensei favoured all of his students, so it was no longer a surprise to know such. Yuuta didn't care anymore. He only cared about his friends, his dear friends that his underclassman had hurt.
"I don't care if he is Gojou-sensei's pupil, he cut off Inumaki's arm in Shibuya." Yuuta said, voice sharpening on the edge as he stared, hollow and still yet unswerving to the amused higher-ups. Inside his mind, Rika was embracing him, soothing words easing from her mouth to compose himself from bellowing the sentences out.
"I will kill Itadori Yuuji myself." Yuuta declared, because he had strengthened his resolve. Because it was the only thing he could do right now to avenge his friends.
His friends were the first to care about him. When the world eluded him, shut him off because of his dear Rika (Yuuta never blamed her for anything awful that had occured, for it was never her fault. It was Yuuta's because he couldn't hold her back, because it was Yuuta who cursed her in the first place), they accepted Yuuta into their world. Slowly, but surely, Yuuta could call them as his friends. As his family in this new, harmful world, who stood proud on his side.
Yuuta knew his world was never free from death, yet it always happened. Death came to everyone, it was never picky unlike him and other humans. It could come in the most unexpected times, and Death went forth with life on its palms as it left the shatters of people's heart behind it. But Yuuta didn't think he could handle another death that was too close to home, like Rika's.
What an irony. To prevent another death, Yuuta would have to present death. But it mattered a little if Yuuta could save his family and many lives for the future. What would become of humanity if Yuuta let his malignant underclassman loose?
More deaths, and Yuuta would never let that happen.
Permanent.
The word rang in Yuuji's mind.
Gojou-sensei was exiled from the sorcery world permanently. Dumped, disposed, banished, unaccepted, and other ugly words that crawled into Yuuji's mind to depict the loss of his teacher. Unsealing him from the Prison Realm would be considered as the biggest of crime and resulted in death, better it be a soon or later death.
(Just like his execution. Yuuji was able to avoid the former choice because of Gojou-sensei. But now the man wasn't here, then who could prolong his life? Who could swat away the danger snaking to his back? Who else could keep him safe and happy?
And Yuuji himself, however, had died upon hearing the news)
It didn't help that Principal Yaga was to be executed as well. Yuuji couldn't accept that. Why they must execute his principal too? Even if he was really strict and responsible for countless of bruises on Yuuji's face because of his cursed doll, he was the one who allowed Yuuji to enter Jujutsu High, to a new world that he determined to protect.
Yuuji didn't want to lose him too.
In fact, he didn't want to lose anyone.
Fushiguro and Kugisaki barely survived, each of them endured severe injuries that even Ieiri-sensei had difficulties in healing. Their eyes were closed, smeared in deep crimson as their skin whitened. It was a sight that was almost beautiful, as if his friends were just sleeping soundly after an exhausting game of paint ball. Yuuji couldn't bear to look at them much longer, because the guilt would grow anew in his heart just when he thought he had suppressed it down.
But then news of Gojou-sensei's exile from the sorcery world found Yuuji, and he refused to acknowledge it. He refused to see, refused to hear, and refused to believe.
Why?
Yuuji asked the empty air.
Why him?
Yuuji cried out.
Shibuya happened because of me. They wanted me, so they had to deal Gojou-sensei first. He has nothing to do with this. Sensei is innocent in this. It was all my fault.
Yuuji continued to weep and weep.
Hurt me as you please, I don't care. Banish me as you please, I don't care. Torture me as you please, I don't care. Kill me as you please, I don't care.
Just don't take sensei away from me.
In midst of his wailing, Yuuji registered a voice slithering to his ears. He didn't catch much due to his unceasing tears, but he comprehended enough. The voice left after the curt announcement, and even Sukuna didn't have a word to say about his current behavior. Had Yuuji become that miserable that he was unworthy to receive chiding from Sukuna anymore? He probably had.
(Yuuji was always unworthy, after all.
Unworthy of kindness, because he would only reave it in the end. Unworthy of friendship, because he would only tear it in the end. Unworthy of teaching, because he would only discard it in the end. Unworthy of love and affection, because they would only be taken away from him in the end)
"You are to be executed, Itadori Yuuji. A Special Grade Sorcerer, Okkotsu Yuuta, shall be your executioner."
Okkotsu Yuuta, the voice said.
It was his upperclassman, wasn't it? Yuuji heard of him once from the second-years. Maki-senpai described him as a timid, cowardly person that could be so brave in the right moment. Had astounding sorcery skills in spite of his late arrival to the semester that year. Fought Getou Suguru once and managed to inflict a heavy injury on him. Yet he was a lad with kind, meek heart who cared deeply for his friends as if they were one blood.
And Yuuji had hurt them.
Now that Yuuji thought about it, he deserved to die by Okkotsu-senpai's hands. Those hands whose owner was hurt because of Yuuji, had all the rights in the world to end him. Yuuji didn't care about that. Not anymore.
If he were to die, then so be it. It was his destiny ever since he swallowed that condemned finger, or maybe ever since he was born. Yuuji was nothing but a cattle waiting to be slaughtered. He was just a postponed poor thing, who relented to the fate written on his skin like a withered plant bending helplessly to the ground.
Death was scary. Death was cold like that drizzling day. Yuuji didn't want to die, yet at the same time it was the only thing he wished right now.
Irony, wasn't it? Yuuji didn't feel like living after the massacre he did, yet he wanted to keep on living, to see if his friends would heal and forgive him. To play again with them as if nothing happened. To frolic around like they had no burden to shoulder. To dedicate his love and affection for them, the ones who deserved them best.
Yuuji wanted to live because of the silly hope in his chest. His hope to be able to find his friends again, to fight and to help each other again, for a building was useless without its foundation. To find his teacher and bawl on his chest like an infant, because Yuuji didn't want to lose another anchor in his life.
Was it really a crime just to reunite with his dearest ones? His loved ones?
The sealed room was a familiar environment to Yuuji by now, no longer he felt bothered by the talisman marking the whole wall, the orange light softening his vision, and the ropes tightening around his body. Quaint, considering he was only here once after he passed out that night at his school's rooftop.
Yuuji wasn't talking about the overall of his feeling of being here. Here he was nothing but shackled cursed human, just yet another nuisance should to get rid of as soon as possible. He never minded the talisman, nor the lights, nor the ropes. He only minded about how his chest would feel when he finally died. Finally got the chance to rest.
And it wouldn't be just a mere rest on his bed after a tough mission. This rest would be eternal, lasting to the end of the world. Yuuji didn't care where would he go next, but as long as Sukuna didn't come along with him, he figured everything would be alright, then.
Because Yuuji was tired.
Tired of causing problems.
Tired of being blamed.
Tired of killing.
Tired of losing.
He had too many lost. Was a human capable to handle so much lost? Yuuji wasn't the kind of person who masked and oppressed his emotions like Fushiguro or Gojou-sensei. He was the kind of person who put his heart on his sleeves, for how could he trust people if he couldn't trust his emotions first?
Yuuji was getting better at blocking Sukuna's noises in his head. Prodding, enervating, deluding, snapping, and everything he said with all of his might to make Yuuji run. To make him live and breathe for another day. Yuuji heaved a curt laughter at that.
"So you can use my body again to cause chaos? Keep on dreaming, Sukuna."
"You're not taking this as serious as I am." Sukuna scoffed, agitated but worn out. "If you die here, then you wouldn't see your friends anymore. You wouldn't see your beloved sensei anymore. Is that what you want, brat? To leave them without a word? How cruel, so heartless of you."
"Take a mirror and say the last sentence to yourself." Yuuji snickered, meek and had no heat in it at all. "It suits you."
Yuuji heard a click of the door, followed by steady, deep steps. A tall, lean figure emerged from the other side of the room, a sheathed katana hanging on his side and wearing a gakuran so white it contrasted with Yuuji's dark one. He looked up, and there was his executioner, his esteemed upperclassman. Another Special Grade Sorcerer who finally came back from abroad.
Okkotsu Yuuta-senpai.
So this was the face of his cursed underclassman. Itadori Yuuji, the vessel of the King of Curses, Ryoumen Sukuna. Yuuta had seen reports, old drawings from the ancient times about the undisputed curse, and the resemblance Sukuna had with this boy was eeriely similar. He just lacked of second pair of eyes, two more arms, another face, and black cursed lines.
(Yuuta almost dared to say that Itadori's features were too soft)
Itadori perked up as Yuuta entered the sealed room, a chamber he once associated quite well with. Isolating himself in this chamber for days until he lost track of time, just so Rika wouldn't hurt another people Yuuta didn't intend to. Trying to kill himself multiple times until he lost count of knives Rika had twisted away, just so she wouldn't cause another pain to someone.
Itadori's condition right now was akin to his from a year ago, only he had taut, thick ropes around him, garnished with so many talisman that it started to stung Yuuta's eyes. Only the orange glow of this room that gave him comfort and reassurance, a spark of light in midst of dense darkness.
"Okkotsu-...senpai..." Itadori croaked out, almost breathless. His voice wasn't hoarse nor heavy. It was gentle and light, hesitant but not fake. Pleasant to hearing, as if a breeze of new dawn. And that breeze made Yuuta to catch shudders.
(Itadori was too soft)
"Itadori Yuuji." Yuuta greeted back, blank but not insincere. He stepped closer to the boy, vigilant and slow, as to confirm Sukuna wouldn't lash out all of the sudden. He gripped his katana, unsheathing it and bringing it forward towards Itadori. The way he kept his head up even when Yuuta was brimming with cursed energy ached his chest, but Yuuta shook it away.
He shouldn't have mercy for him, for Sukuna never had one when he slaughtered people.
But this wasn't Sukuna. This was Itadori.
Yuuta bit his bottom lip. "Do you... have any last words, Itadori?" He asked, because maybe that was the only thing he could do to his underclassman. He hadn't forgiven him, but Itadori wasn't a Cursed Speech User like Inumaki. Whatever he said to Yuuta wouldn't affect him. Itadori must have friends as well like Yuuta, and his friends might long for one or two words from Itadori.
Itadori's eyes (honey-coloured... It reminded Yuuta of spring. So bright, so pure...) averted to the side, mulling inwardly, and Yuuta let him be out of the sheer kindness in his heart. After one minute or so, Itadori nodded briskly and flashed Yuuta a smile. A smile so wistful yet content, Yuuta had to grip his katana firmer in order to not be faltered.
"If you don't mind, senpai, then please tell my friends, Fushiguro and Kugisaki, to move on with life and forget me. To my upperclassmen, please tell them that I'm deeply sorry, that I truly regret of what I had done to all of them." Itadori's smile widened, and Yuuta felt a sweat running down his temple. "I think that's all. I don't want to give senpai more troubles. Thank you."
"No words for Gojou-sensei?" Yuuta blurted out, because he heard rumours about his teacher's adjacency with Itadori, better it be from the higher-ups or his other teachers. He heard about Gojou-sensei's adoration for Itadori that even outmatched his adoration for Fushiguro, and that said something. Yuuta never thought there was any other person that Gojou-sensei held dear more than him and Fushiguro.
Then much to Yuuta's surprise, Itadori broke into laughter that echoed even in his bones. Stabbing his hearings, trembling his hands. It was scary. It shook Yuuta's soul again because of how broken, empty, humourless it was. Itadori laughed like it was the last thing he could do beside breathing and talking. Like it was his last laugh, and he decided to just let it all out.
"N- No need to, senpai..." Itadori managed to muster his words through wheezed breaths, tears marveling south to his chin and dripping. Limpid, constant, and beautiful. "He'd snap if I had. He'd definitely kill everyone that sentenced me to death, and that included you, senpai. I don't want you to get killed. Gojou-sensei cares too much, he'd blame none other but himself, even so if I had last words for him.
If I had last words for him, he might think that meant I had time before I was executed, and he'd blame himself why he didn't come here sooner before it happened. I figure it's better if I left him silently, no matter how hard it is for me. For both of us."
And Yuuta's tear fell to the floor.
Taken aback, Yuuta felt non-existent hand wiping his tears away before he wiped them himself with his sleeve. Itadori looked as surprised as him, eyes widening and laced with guilt. "D- Did I say something wrong, senpai? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--"
"No, Itadori, it's not your fault..." Yuuta said, unsure if it was for his sudden tears or Itadori's actions in Shibuya. Yuuta closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mind black and empty before it brightened with a tiny light that spread like flower petals, taking his mind over with memories that never happened.
Yuuta saw himself with his friends and the first-years he hadn't even seen yet under a lush sakura tree, where its shadow provided them with breezy air of spring. Rika was sharing her onigiri with Yuuta, a delightful smile on her pretty, delicate face. Beside him, Inumaki was giving out more onigiri he made to Maki and Panda, exuberant and jubilant. Leaning on the other side of the tree was Fushiguro, sipping onto his ginger tea as a brown-haired girl applied nail polish to her nails with a content hum in front of him.
Catching a boisterous, excited voice calling out for them from nearby, Yuuta tilted his head to the side and saw Gojou-sensei carrying more foods and drinks with Itadori beside him. The two of them had a similar grin on their face, too wide and playful. The brown-haired girl (was she Kugisaki that Itadori talked earlier?) was quick to rise to her feet and say something about those two took too long just to grab more snacks.
Gojou-sensei laughed, free and resonating. Completely unburdened. "No thanks for me and Yuuji-kun, Nobara? I'm hurt~."
The girl scoffed from her nostrils, hard. "Itadori, don't tell me sensei asked you for a date and you just came along with him."
Itadori chuckled. "Don't worry, he didn't. Gojou-sensei was just taking too many foods from the aisles so I had to stop him."
"Even Itadori is way more mature than you, sensei. Amazing." Fushiguro chirped, and it drew a laugh from Yuuta.
"Itadori has always been more mature than sensei. No surprise there." Maki added.
"Tuna mayo!" Inumaki nodded.
"If sensei became an adult for once, then the world must be ending." Rika giggled.
"You guys are so mean~!" Gojou-sensei whined as he and Itadori sat down on the grasses with them, his tuffs of white hair were down and instead of a blindfold, he had a pair of black shades on his face. His mosaic blue eyes were blinding, just like the sun above them and Itadori's smiles as he started to arrange the foods and drinks on the grasses for them to take.
Yuuta blinked, and the world morphed into series of old parchment and orange glow. He was back in the sealed room with Itadori. No sakura tree, no grasses, no picnic, none of their friends and Gojou-sensei right here.
Nothing but an execution he must finish.
It was only then that Yuuta realized his tears were unstoppable by now.
His katana trembled, almost slipping from his palms, and Yuuta choked a sob.
How could--
How should I kill Itadori after that?