Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I was sitting on the nook in the window.  I had a blanket around me. It was around four in the morning. I was supposed to be sleeping but I never can. When I can I always end up waking up from a cruel nightmare.

I was reading a book. I never really enjoyed reading but it helped pass the time when I was not hanging out with Tommy. The moon was shining just bright enough for me to understand what words the little black letters were forming on the paper.

I looked across the current room that Tommy and I are staying in. We have been in the system for about six and a half years. This house happens to be one of the many that we have stayed in this year. Nothing was too special about this room.

Our social worker was supposed to pick us up any time now. Tommy and I were labeled as “problematic children.” Our current foster “parents” had gotten in way too many fights, some were just verbal, and others became violent.

I was tired but so was Tommy. I took it into my own hands to get us out of here and our social worker was supposed to pick us up any time now.

I took in the last few minutes I would be staying in this hell house. I quietly picked up any last items we had around our room. I tried to not make noise, but my pained body made me take harsh breathe any time I over-did myself.

I scanned our small bedroom, passing the door to the closet that held the few clothes that Tommy and I had, the bathroom door with a broken lock, then over more pieces of furniture that filled our room to find the alarm clock on the dresser. The time now read four twenty.

As if almost on queue I saw the lights in the hall flicker on and a stream of loud voices heading towards our room.

I quickly ran over to Tommy’s bed and tried to wake him up without too much commotion.

“Tommy…Tommy!” I said in a whisper yell. Tommy now starting to slowly wake up.

“What time is it? Are you ok?!?” -Tommy started with a groggy sleepy voice that immediately switched to worried as he became more aware.

I opened my mouth to speak but the door to our tiny, shared bedroom was thrown open. I naturally flinched and closed my eyes at the sudden action.

“Get up brats your social worker jenny will be here in five minutes.” Our foster “father” said tired and angry. He must have gotten a phone call they were on their way waking him up from his slumber.

~~~~~~~

Tommy and I were now standing on the front porch. It was raining but the moonlight still shinned bright. It was mesmerizing. The was that each water droplet sparkled as it fell.

I was ripped out of my thoughts when Tommy started talking to me…

“Finally, out of that hell hole!” Tommy said with his playful tone of voice.

Tommy seemed like he was a little happy to not be in this house anymore. They were loud, abusive, manipulative, aggressive, and so many more.

This year was the most Tommy and I had switched houses this year, but this one still was not the worst.

Our first house this year ended with police reports and Tommy and I hospitalized. Tommy must have realized I was back in my head because he began checking on me making small talk.

“Are you ok? Should I ask jenny if she should take us to the care center, your bruise still isn’t healed?” He stated while looking down to my stomach then trailing to my side under by my ribs obviously trying to acknowledge it worryingly.

“I’m fine trust me it is just taking a while to heal.” As I said that a small silver car pulled up in the driveway. The windshield wipers were still going as she got out of the still-running car to open the trunk, signaling us to put our stuff in it.

Tommy and I grabbed the two black trash bags that held our stuff in it and ran for the car. We proceeded to jump into the car as if the rain would make the two of us melt.

Jenny our social worker turned around with a disappointed look on her face. She made me anxious. I started to scratch at my hand. Ripping up a scab that was healing. It started to bleed ever so slightly, and I did not realize until Tommy grabbed my hand and put it in the pocket of my hoodie.

“Guys this is the seventh house this year and I don’t know how many more families I can contact on such short notice.” She started saying but I zoned out now more interested in my surroundings.

I looked over at Tommy, his hair was stuck to his face from the rain. He was wearing a red hoodie that was also wet. I looked back at our social worker- no jenny. Jenny. That was her name. She had her long golden-brown hair up in a messy bun. Usually, she had it down straight, but this must have been a little sudden, so she did not have time to get as prepared. Normally she would be wearing nice clothes.

I noticed Jenny had turned around and was now driving the car out of the neighborhood to her office. I zoned in only to hear about “the group home” or “problematic kids” but decided I did not want to listen anymore, so I just looked out the window and watch the beautiful setting that the night gives nature.

~~~~~~~

The car ride back was not that bad. I would maybe even say that it was peaceful. The silence was nice. There were no small little insignificant noises that would drive me crazy, it was relaxing, it was safe.

We arrived at Jenny’s office by the group home and she parked the car in one of the front parking spots. The rain had died down so now it was at a drizzle. We all exited the car. Tommy and I grabbed our stuff in the trunk of her small silver car, which was now glistening in the dark from the moon.

She led us into her office. The lights were white but dull and the walls were a light grey. It was easy to the eye. There were basic chairs, plants, and paintings that lined the hall.

Eventually, we got to her office and she sat me and Tommy down in the 2 chairs that were against the wall. Tommy seemed to close his eyes and put lay his head back on the light grey walls. Seeing him like that made me realize how tired I actually was. I cannot remember the last time I slept peacefully. Most of the time I just stay up until I cannot bear to keep my eyes open any longer.

I knew I would not be able to fall asleep here, so I just closed my eyes and rested my head on Tommy’s shoulder, and listened to Jenny make desperate phone calls.

~~~~~~~

“Kids I need you to wake up for me ok,” Jenny said with a gentle voice.

I lifted my head off Tommy’s shoulder and rubbed my eyes. Tommy seemed to also be waking up. Both of us now becoming more aware of our surroundings.

Jenny walked closer to us, she kneeled down and looked up at us from the chair. I flinched when she reached out to put her hand near us. She must have seen it because she retracted her hand and

“There is a man named Phil Watson who is going to come and meet you guys tomorrow. He has two other kids a little older than the two of you.” She said trying to be a little encouraging. Jenny continued with a sad look on her face, “This was very short notice so he cannot have you guys right now so you will be in the group home.” 

The group homes always sucked. They were full of little kids that were loud and screamed a lot. Now since Tommy and I were older we do not have very much of a chance to get adopted anymore. No one wants two “problematic teenagers.” With that when we were thrown back into the group homes, we were usually the oldest there, with the slight occasion of one older one.

Tommy sat up and grabbed his trash bag of stuff then turned around and watched me as if jenny would try and do something to me. I looked at him and then scratched my arm up by my shoulder. He nods then starts talking playfully to jenny like he always would.

It was my way of telling him its fine.

We tend to do this when around other adults. We are all that each other has. We have learned to communicate without using words and instead of using things that look normal to others but mean things like stop, help, I want to leave, hurt, tired, etc. Sometimes it is easier for us to talk like that especially if we do not feel safe or do not want to verbally communicate.

I stand and grab my trash bag of stuff too then we all head for the door. Tommy still cracking jokes like normal.

“You guys are just so unbelievably short” Tommy started but I fired back- “No you just a freakishly tall human being if you even are one.” We all broke into laughter, but I abruptly stopped because of the painful jabs I got from my bruised body.

This is our last foster father’s fault. Man, he could hit hard. Tommy must have noticed because he distracted jenny more while I regained some of myself.

I was lost in my thought again as we walked out of the building. I saw the bright light that the moon emitted. It seeped throughout the parking lot. Reflecting off jenny’s tiny silver car. It was beautiful. I loved the night. The dark. The aroma. Everything about it just made me feel at a sense of ease.

We eventually got to the group home. It was getting close to 6 in the morning now. The house was quiet and peaceful, but we all knew that would not last long.

Jenny led us to our room that we always stayed in and she let us be.

It was just Tommy and me again. It always had been.

“I’m going back to sleep, please come try to sleep I know you haven’t properly slept in days,” he said while heading to the bed.

“You know I can’t,” I said.

“You don’t have to sleep for long just a little nap, think of it as getting ready for meeting this Phil guy and his fuck’n kids,” he said almost begging.

Reluctantly I agreed and headed for the bed.

I laid there turning every few seconds. My thoughts just kept going. It was a little while later and I finally drifted off into sleep.

~~~~~~~

I woke up abruptly and heard screaming. I saw the light from the hall turn on. I looked over at Tommy, but he looked sound asleep. I thought the screaming was from the kids in the home, but it sounded more aggressive and deeper. I flinched when it happened again but loud.

It sounded familiar and closer. I was scared. It was happening again. The tears started to build up in my eyes.

“Tommy?” I tried to say but it came out quiet and with uncertainty.

Before I knew it, the door flew open. It was him. He was back.

I screamed for Tommy to wake up, but he laid there lifeless. Did he hurt Tommy? Why wasn’t he waking up?

He was bigger, stronger, taller, and scarier than me. I could not make out wake he was shouting. But it was loud, and his mouth was moving with frustration.

I covered my head, eyes full of tears. Screaming for Tommy to wake up.

A large hand came down to my head and grabbed a hand full of my hair. He tugged hard. I was on the floor now frantically trying to get to Tommy.

I hard kick came and met me making me bottom out and spin. I was helpless. So useless. I could not even fight back.

I was now on my stomach trying to protect myself with my hands. I was now screaming begging for help. My tears engulfing me as if I could drown in them.

His hand met back with my hair and pulled me back up to look at him. It felt like my scalp was on fire. Like every hair was being pulled from my head. I met his eyes, they were cold, furious, terrifying.

 I felt a hard hit on my face, then a cruel kick to my stomach. I could not breathe. I could not see. I was dizzy. The floor felt cold. My body was cold. The metallic odor now filling the room.

I only then realized his gigantic hand is on my throat. It was suffocating I was gasping for air. I saw as his other hand started at my clothes.

I couldn’t fight back. My own tears were drowning me. My body being used. Blood now surrounding me and him.

Red was everywhere. The shine of the two of us. His reflection in my blood as clear as glass.

I gave in, the air now leaving me, letting the dark submerge me. My lifeless body just laying there…

Light too much light. It was bright. I could breathe, quick and ragged breathes. Tommy was Infront of me.

It was cold, I was cold, I was shaking. Then I realized. Where is he?

“Your ok, come here, it's ok,” Tommy said hugging me. “He’s not here, it is ok. It’s just a dream.” He continued.

I gave in to Tommy’s hug. We stayed like this for a while. I eventually gazed at the clock on the wall and decided we should get ready because we must meet another family today.

~~~~~~~

I was in the bathroom getting ready to meet this Phil guy and his kids. I was not excited. Phil sounds like a person who would be rude. And he had other kids. They were never a good sign.

I decided to change a take a shower to look somewhat decent. I pulled my clothes off, staring at the colorful dark bruise that went from my stomach to under my rib. Not the worst injury I have gotten before but it was definitely up there.

I grazed my scabbed hand over the sizeable mark on my body and flinched. This was going to take a while to heal. I hopped in the shower and continued my routine.

Once I was done with my shower, I did my hair and I put my clothes on, which consisted of another hoodie and my favorite jeans. I left the bathroom to find Tommy sitting on his bed wearing a red and white baseball tee and some tan pants.

We sat in our room and talked it was nice. Soon enough one of the ladies in the group home, Mandy came and got us. It was time, we were meeting another family. I turned to Tommy and scratched my head three times. He immediately understood and took his thumb and scratched his chin.

I told him I was worried, and he told me that he would talk first. Of course, this just looked like us being normal humans to any other person but to us, it was our way of speaking.

Mandy led us to one of the meeting rooms. I hated these rooms. They were set up so that our social worker jenny would sit on one side and the family would sit on the other, with two seats at each end. That is where Tommy and I must sit.  I hated it. I felt like the spotlight was on you the entire time.

“Best behavior kids ok.” She said sternly and continued with more hope in her tone, “Who knows this could be a forever home!”

She opened the door revealing jenny sitting where she always does, the three men sitting at the family's always sits with her long brown hair straight down and a nice outfit on. The one in the middle looked older, he had blonde hair and was wearing a green and white bucket hat. The guy to the left of him was an exceptionally tall guy with fluffy brown hair in a yellow shirt and a red beanie. Then the last guy was also an incredibly tall guy with glasses and lengthy pink hair in a braid!

Man, they all looked a little intimidating. I assumed that the guy in the middle wearing green was the father Phil and the other two were his kids. Tommy and I looked at each other with uncertainty.

“Kids this is Phil and his two kids Wilbur and Techno!” Jenny stated with excitement pointing at each one.

“Techno? What kinda fuckin name is that?” Tommy said with his normal attitude making me join in-

“The bitch has pink hair!” I added pointing to the guy right of Phil.

Chapter Text

“Techno? What kinda fuckin name is that?” Tommy said with his normal attitude making me join in-

“The bitch has pink hair!” pointing to the guy right of Phil.

“KIDS!” Jenny shrieked sounding evidently annoyed, causing me to slightly flinch quickly shutting my eyes.  I tried my best to cover it up. I started picking at the new scab on my hand now cowardly hiding slightly behind Tommy’s arm.

This Phil guy and his kids seemed to not notice it because they were distracted by the tall fella in the yellow shirt. Tommy however lightly looked down at me and quietly comforted me.

‘why is this bitch so tall’ I thought. He helped me though. I was grateful for Tommy. He is the only one I trust.

“HAHAHA- SUCK IT TECHNO!!!” The guy in the yellow shirt continued looking at the presumably pink-haired Techno sending everyone into a frenzy. “I TOLD Y-YOU THAT Y-YOUR H-AIR” He included now fully breaking down into laughter.

“SHE, S-SHE CALLED Y-YOU A B-BITCH!” He added now struggling to form words. The guy in yellow and Phil looked like they were about to cry from the laughter. This techno guy however looked very unamused.

He looked sort of intimidating. The cold look on his face with the formal attire he was wearing. The white button-down shirt and his long pink hair braided nicely down his shoulder.

The guy in the yellow shirt slapped the table and he leaned back in the boring office chair still laughing. His hand caused both Tommy and me to jump ever so slightly. Phil must have noticed peeking through his barely shut eyes because he started to calm down on the spot turning to his son trying to get him to breathe. It took them a minute, but they were all normal now. Jenny had motioned for us to go to our chairs then she picked up our stack of papers and started to file them straight.

I hated this table. It made you feel like the eyes were always on you. Not to mention that I could not sit next to Tommy, I had to sit across from him. That just made me more anxious. Jenny had now taken our cases off the top of the stack she just filed and handed a copy to Phil. She kept the other to herself with more important papers in a neat pile next to her.

“Ok if everyone is ready, I will be started going over their case,” Jenny said looking at each of us specifically eyeing me and Tommy as if she is trying to tell us to behave.

The three guys nodded, and Phil took our case and opened the first page.

Tommy and I had heard this talk several times. I fucking hated it. All Jenny did was go over what sounded like the bad stuff. I started to fidget with my hoodie strings. ‘God, why can’t I just stay still? Tommy is just sitting there with his hands in his pockets.'

“So- “Jenny stated ripping me out of my thoughts, “Most of your forms are filled out, your house met all of the requirements and then some, your income is well above- “I zoned out after that. I have heard this talk a million types.

I looked around the room, finding anything that I could look at. I was lightly picking at my hand. There were some paintings on the gentle grey walls, some plants around the room that had different shades of green in it, a large door to the main part of the building…

I saw Jenny pick up a pen then she clicked it. I do not know what that pen did, but it made me re-focus. It made me irritated. The click just seemed so loud.

“These two have been in the system for approximately six and a half years. Their biological mother is dead, and their father is in prison.” Jenny started reading our case file, but she summarized it.

Jenny continued “They are both problematic and can cause a lot of trouble.”

‘I hate this. I hate this so fuckin much. She is ruining our chances before we even get to be ourselves!’ I started picking at my hand more aggressively. I was so mad.

My hand felt wet, I looked down and there was red all over it. This just made me freak out even more. I could not even listen to what Jenny was saying anymore. I looked over at Tommy and picked at the corner of my lip. It was my way of telling him I am hurt. I directed my eyes towards my hand. He looked like he was thinking. Tommy was always able to help.

“Jenny,” Tommy said abruptly interrupting her “I need to go to the bathroom, can she come with me and use this as our break time?” He continued leading his eyes towards me. She nodded and continued.

I quickly shoved my hands in my pocket taking my clean one and putting it over the other trying to avoid getting the blood everywhere on my hoodie. Standing up abruptly I started heading for the door. Tommy was standing holding it open for me. I kept my head down and tried to walk promptly. We left the office room and Tommy closed the door.

“What’s wrong???” Tommy said worryingly. I pulled my red hands out of my pocket and looked down. I was overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, I felt like there was just so much going on.

“Hey, it's ok, ok. No need to worry let’s go to the bathroom and fix this so jenny doesn’t get suspicious.” Tommy spoke in a comforting voice as I nodded.

We walked swiftly to the bathroom in our room and I turned the faucet on to rinse my hand under the water. It burned from the direct connect but after a few seconds, it went away. ‘I deserved the pain anyway.’

I turned the water off, wrapped my hand in a towel, then hopped onto the counter waiting for Tommy's direction. Getting up on the counter hurt a lot however because I was still recovering from my huge bruise that was now a dark shade of purple and black, maybe even some green-blue, and yellow.

Tommy rushed over with the familiar first aid kit that we hid at the bottom of his bag. We have had to use it countless times before. It is one of the few things that we own, but it's immensely helpful.

He opened the small box and the little click of its opening caused me to act out more. This mistake I caused on my hand was triggering me into a breakdown. I can never control my emotions when I get like this. ‘I hate myself, why can’t I just control my emotions like a normal person?’ I thought now breaking down.

“Hey, look at me, I need you to breathe for me ok” Tommy encouraged. I very softly whispered yes still trying to stay calm.

‘In and out, in and out, in and out’ I kept doing that until he spoke again. “Do you need something to play with?” I nodded in response.

He left the bathroom leaving me harshly breathing on the counter trying to comer up my meltdown. Tommy came back with three different items; I was too frustrated to even think about which one I really wanted so I just grabbed the most colorful one.

I messed with the fidget toy in my none injured hand and had the other one out so Tommy could tend to it. “We need to go back before they get upset,” I spoke.

Tommy finished up tending to my now bandaged hand and we quickly got off walking back to the office everyone was in. Every step seemed to aggravate my bruised side, jumping on and off the counter must have irritated it.

We eventually got back to the office. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and realized I kept the fidget toy. Tommy must not have said anything so that I would fidget with that and not harm myself.

Tommy opened the door and we both walked in. ‘God that kid was tall.’

“Welcome back kids!” Jenny spoke warmly. “Now, where was I? Right! The kids and their medical issues. He has low blood pressure and as a result could have dizziness, weakness, and fainting. She has ADHD and moderate anxiety.” She continued looking at each of us.

She kept talking for a while, but I tend to zone her out when she goes on these long informational rants about us. I just sat there playing with the fidget toy waiting for it to be over.

Before I knew it, Phil was signing the last of his paperwork and his kid's Techno and Wilbur were following us to our room to get Tommy and my stuff.

~~~~

Techno’s pov:

Wilbur was laughing so hard I thought he was about to pass out. ‘Why does he think these kids are so funny?’

I just sat there and watched. I could not process what was happening, but soon enough Phil and Wilbur were calming down. I do not know what happened but suddenly Phil just started to quiet Wilbur and him down. His ears must have had enough. I am surprised the old fuck is still around.

I was listening to the social worker Jenny talk about the different forms and requirements that Phil had to deal with. I was a little bored, so I just started to look around letting my mind wander.

I wanted to back home and play Minecraft, but this was important. We had to meet the kids Phil was going to foster. I guess I should be on good terms with them.

I diverted my eyes from the bland painting on the wall to the two kids. They did not seem very amused. I get that I was in their situation once, but I was only in the system for about three years.

I observed the pair. The boy seemed to be messing with his nails, taking looks at his sister across the table protectively every minute. The girl looked dazed and a little scared. I might have been overanalyzing, but she seemed to be silently suffering.

She was looking across the room her hands under the table. Almost zoned out. Then out of nowhere, a panic switch was activated. She quietly looked under the table then back at the boy repeating it a few times. She finally took one of her hands out from under the table to scratch her lip, but there was a wet red mark on the side of her hand. I moved my eyes to Tommy, and he looked as if deep in a quick thought that needed to happen immediately.

“Jenny,” The boy said interrupting the social worker jenny. “I need to go to the bathroom; can she come with me and use this as our break time?” He continued leading his eyes towards the girl. The social worker nodded and continued.

They stood up swiftly and shuffled their way out the door. The boy holding the door and the girl with her head down hands tucked away in her hoodie pocket.

I was curious. I wanted to watch what they were doing, but the wall blocked me from seeing them go any farther.

I went back to staring at the bland painting on the wall but soon got pulled out of my head when Jenny started talking quieter, almost as if she were trying to hide what she was saying.

“Ok now that they are gone, I feel more comfortable talking more about the more serious side of their case,” Jenny stated in a hushed tone leaning in closer.

“These two haven’t been incredibly lucky, they have been in an overwhelming number of abusive households, their biological parents also were not the best. I am very sure that they also just came out of an abusive household.” She continued making directing my full attention to her.

“They might not admit it, but I did see a wicked bruise on her arm last night.”

‘Why wouldn’t they say anything about an abusive house?’ I thought.

“However, they also have been in worse situations. Their worst case was at the begging of this year. It ended with them being hospitalized for a bit.” She said sadly.

I now have an overwhelming feeling of protectiveness. ‘Who would do that to their kids!?!’

This conversation seemed to go on like this for a little bit longer until the pair walked back into the office room.

The girl now had a fidget toy and seemed like she had calmed down. ‘The two worked well together, didn’t they. Reminds me of will and me.’

I was less dazed out; I had many emotions but did not know how to express them. Jenny continued talking and before I knew it, we were all up and Will and I were walking to the pair's room to get their stuff.

~~~~

Your pov:

We did not have much to grab. All our things were already packed from the previous night.

We got to the shared bedroom and I turned to the two extremely tallboys that were following us.

“Tommy and I can go grab our things while you wait here, it won’t be long I promise,” I spoke. I was a little worried they would get mad at me for telling them a demand, but I did not give them a chance to say anything. I quickly turned on my feet hand still in my pocket heading towards the trash bag that held my belongings.

I picked up the bag and saw that Tommy was waiting at the door for me. I prayed that they would not ask me about my newly bandaged hand.

It was a silent walk. It was peaceful. It was comfortable. We all got back to Phil to find him that he had signed all the necessary forms.

“Let’s head to the car, shall we?” Phil said joyfully directing his hand towards the doors.

Everyone turned and started walking to the car. I took a harsh final breath leaving the group home, my side was killing me.

I was sure that Tommy and I would be back in weeks’ time. It always happens that way.

Chapter Text

I was looking around the parking lot. There were a few cars that filled it. They were all different colors. It was about mid-afternoon. The sun was shining bright. The heat admitting from the hot star made the dark asphalt burn.

Phil was in front leading us to the car. Tommy was walking next to me, we stuck close the entire time. And the two older boys were behind us.

After a bit, we reached the car. I looked back at the group home almost as a goodbye. My stare did not last long however because the older boy Wilbur stepped in my line of view.

“You guys can put your things in the trunk and then you two will be sitting in the back with me!”

I stepped back almost defensively because of how quickly he moved. Wilbur must have noticed because he took a step back giving me and Tommy space.

I still did not trust this family; they have acted nice for the time that we have been with them. But that could have just been because the workers were around.

Phil opened the trunk; Tommy and I threw our trash bags full of things in it. Then everyone headed to their seats.

Phil was in the driver’s seat, Techno in the passenger. In the back: Wilbur on the right, Tommy on the left, and me in the middle.

The car was spacy. None of us were cramped. It was also clean with very few things on the floor. The seats we nice, they were a good-looking neutral color and had a pleasant texture to them.

In the front of the car, I watched as Phil adjusted the mirror hanging from the roof and take out his keys to start the car.

~~~~

The drive to our new house was peaceful. Phil had the radio on a station with songs that I have never heard before. Techno was quietly humming to the song and Wilbur as well as Tommy were looking out the window. I was just sitting there, looking at anything that could catch my eye.

My mind drifted more, now I was taking a closer look into the new family.

Phil looked a little older, very few visible grey hairs mixed into his blond maybe light red hair. It looks like they are almost all blended together. On top of his head, he is wearing a green and white bucket hat. Sitting down he looked a little smaller than the man next to him. Overall, he looked like a nice laid-back kinda guy but who knows? He could still be the worst. I do not trust him yet.

Next to him was techno. He looked very intimidating. He had light pink hair that was in a loose braid over his shoulder. He had on a white button-down dress shirt tucked into some nice dress pants. His hands were in his lap his many rings on each one. He seemed very tall and cold. He looked like he could pack a hard and painful punch. To be honest I was most scared of him.

Now on my right side was the tallest man. He towered over me even when sitting. Wilbur was wearing a cozy-looking yellow sweater. His hair has a warm brown and it was very fluffy. On top, he was wearing a red beanie that was ribbed. He was staring off into the distance peacefully listening to the music. Tapping his finger to the beat. He looked nice but I don’t want to get too comfortable.

Lastly, I looked at Tommy. He was also looking out the window playing with his hands. Tommy had on his red and white shirt. He has told me many times that it is his favorite. In fact, he has numerous shirts just like that one in but different colors. He was also wearing tan pants. His blond, fluffy, untamed hair was pushed to one side. He had bright blue eyes that were easy to get lost in.

He must have noticed that I was staring at him because he brought his hand up to up mouth and barely bit on his nail.

He was trying to ask me what I was doing. I just responded with a shrug and diverted y eyes to the front of the road.

“You kids hungry?” Phil asked openly.

“Yes! I’m starving, I haven’t eaten all day!” Wilbur responded eagerly. “Mhm,” Techno hummed in confirmation. Then Phil glanced at the mirror to look back at Tommy and me.

I looked at Tommy and he stared back; our expressions blank. I brought my attention back to Phil in the front seat and nodded.

His lips started to curl into a smile as he looked in the direction of the lane to the left of us and then turned his blinker on. Heading for the nearest exit.

~~~~

Phil Pulled up to a fast-food drive-through. I was not bothered to look where.

He started to talk into the mic, seemingly memorized the other kid's orders. I cannot remember the last time I had fast-food.

Lastly, Phil got to Tommy and me with eyebrows raised. I think he wants to know what we want. I do not know what I want though. I looked at Tommy and he seemed to not know either.

I started to panic. I did not have his answer. My eyes flashed between Phil and Techno. Phil ended up turning around and ordering for us. I could not think…

‘This is it. You already pissed him off.’  I thought aggressively. My breathing was getting heavier. I started starting to scratch at my hand again. Wilbur put his hand on my shoulder, and I knew I flinched way towards Tommy. I was too deep in my head to even think anymore.

Tommy grabbed my hand before the others could see me scratching at it. I quickly realized that I was mumbling the same things over quietly. My body tight. Eyes fastened shut. I was probably trembling. I was so scared, preparing myself to get hit, scratched, yelled at, something... There was nothing that followed. My eyes that were glued shut opened slowly, letting the light bleed back through.

Many sad worried faces were surrounding me. I became more aware slowly. Tommy was covering my bandaged hand with one of his hands and the other hand was drawing small circles on my back. The car was now parked in the lot and Techno had the food bags in his lap.

I looked at Tommy feeling safer. ‘They didn’t hit, didn’t yell, nothing.’  He must have known what I was trying to say because he nodded. I was so confused. Tommy probably was too. My breathing was still unstable, and my head was starting to ache, but I just continued observing the scene that I caused.

Wilbur was farther away from me. I felt extremely guilty. I must have freaked him out when I moved. Techno had a sad, worrying face, and Phil looked sad but comforting.

“Sorry…” I mumbled putting my head down.

“No, no, no do not apologize for having a panic attack” Phil started- “It's ok. Do you guys want a second or… “

“Can I go get something from our bags?” Tommy said cowardly. I heard it in his tone, he was also scared but must have calmed down earlier.

Phil nodded and turned on the music again and then handed me water, presumably to lighten the mood.

Tommy took my bandaged hand and shoved it into my pocket then turned to leave the car and opened the trunk. I heard him fumble with our bags for a second then he came back in the car. He handed me earbuds and I took them gladly as I drew a subtle line on my neck with my thumb, I was telling him thank you.

I put the earbuds in now happy to listen to my favorite music. It was calming.

My scratched hand and beat-up side were now in more pain than before but I chose to ignore it the best I could. I wanted to get lost in the music, letting my eyes fall shut and dropping my head onto Tommy’s shoulder.

~~~~

The rest of the car ride was short. I never really fell asleep, I just let my eyes rest. So, when Tommy started to tap my arm telling me to wake up, I was able to easily get up. 

I took the earbuds out of my ears listening to the music fade. I never really got a look at their house when pulling up to it so when I saw it through the window I was just in shock. ‘How much money did these people have?!?! Their house is so big!’

Phil and Techno were caring the food inside, Wilbur was opening the trunk, and Tommy was standing at the door waiting for me to exit their car.

I eventually got up and headed to the back to meet Wilbur. He really was tall! He handed Tommy his bag first then mine second. Then we all headed for the house.

Their house was incredibly nice, everything about it was lovely. However, I can’t help but feel I am intruding when I see the pictures of their family scattered around the room I am in. Phil called our names into the other room, interrupting me from my thoughts. Wilbur led us to him. Techno was setting food bags on the table and Phil was sitting down. Wilbur motioning us to follow him.

We all sat down. An uncomfortable silence filled the air mixing with the sounds of food being taken out of its containers and moving chairs.

I started to eat still observing my surroundings. Phil, Techno, and Wilbur were eating away. I was just nibbling at it too lost to even pay attention to myself.

Some time went by and I had now eaten a little more than half of my food. There was a conversation that the new family was having. Tommy and I were listening, but they did not seem to mind. I looked over at Tommy and realized that Tommy had barely eaten anything. I felt bad. I know he was trying.

I turned to him and scratched my collar bone five times once I caught his attention. I was telling him to take five more bites then he is done.

He looked back at me with wide eyes. Then shook his head no. I eyed him back. We probably looked insane. But I did not care. I brought my hand back up to my chest, right on my collar bone, and acting out the same action three times. He looked annoyed but quickly did it.

I was proud of him. I knew that he probably feels sick, but I was still happy. Everyone finished up then Phil thought it was probably a good idea to go through a tour of the house.

So, we all stood up and watched as he led us through their house.

~~~~

Wilbur’s pov

I was Sitting in the car. Phil was driving and playing Techno’s music, so I just resorted to looking out the window. I watched silently as each tree and car passed by. It was almost like counting sheep.

I brought my attention back to my new family. The old man and the anime protagonist were just in their own world in the front of the car. The two of them always seemed pretty close.

I dragged my eyes to the kids next to me. They were our new family for the time being. The boy, Tommy, was fiddling with his hands while staring out the window. He seemed to be lost in his thought. I switched my attention to the girl next to me. She was way smaller than me. I was watching her, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. She appeared to be looking at Phil then switching her attention to Techno. She stared almost like she was observing the two in high detail with a look of curiosity and wonder on her face. Taking in every aspect.

She proceeded to pull her eyes towards me. I turned my head so fast. It was almost as if it happened in slow motion. She must not have noticed thankfully because she looked at me with the same curious emotion spread across her face. I was curious about the pair. They seemed to go through some major trauma. They seemed enjoyable, charming, but tired, and alert.

I just tapped my finger to the beat of Techno’s music, letting my mind wander somewhere in the distance. Before I knew it, Phil was speaking over the music asking if we were hungry. ‘I’m starving! What did I eat today?’  I thought with the new idea of food in my head.

“Yes! I’m starving, I haven’t eaten all day!” I responded eagerly. “Mhm,” Techno hummed in response. After a bit of staring back and forth, the new siblings also looked at Phil through the mirror hanging down from the car with a nod yes.

There have been multiple times throughout this entire time I have been with the two where they just look at each other and they happen to know what the other wants. And it just happened again. They just looked at each other with no expression and understood exactly what the other was saying. It was confusing, to say the least.

I pushed past that and wet back in my head until we came up to the drive-through.

~~~~

Phil was pulling into the drive-through and he started calmly stating Techno and my orders, followed by his own. He turned around in his seat to look at the two kids waiting for an answer of what they wanted.

It was like an immediate switch was flicked in their heads. The one next to me now starting to fidget more and breathe in uneven patterns. Phil turned around and quickly ordered something random not wanting to wait awfully long, then pulled up to get the food and went to park. He seemed in a rush. As he pulled right away and not checking if everything is in the bags like normal.

The boy, Tommy had realized the other's panic and started to try and calm them. I did not see it was bad until she started to mumble the same things over and over in a hushed panicked voice. I went to put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her, in hopes of helping calm the now heavy breathing. She instantly flinched away from me though and towards Tommy. I did not know how to react. ‘Space, they need space!’  I quickly thought while pushing myself as close to the door as possible.

I watched as the horrid panic attack slowly left the scared girl. Her eyes slightly flickering up at the faces that watched her. She looked spent, tired, confused.

“Sorry…” she muttered under her breath. I felt bad for her. ‘No one should have to apologize for having a panic attack.’

Phil must have been thinking the same thing because he responded with a sincere response- “No, no, no do not apologize for having a panic attack. It's ok. Do you guys want a second or… “

“Can I go get something from our bags?” The boy said cowardly. You could tell his voice was timid and scared.

He left the car, looking for something to get in his bags. He came back with earbuds that were hooked to a very broken phone.

The time seemed to pass now becoming more open. The two kids now hanging on to each other slightly. Waiting for the car ride to be over.

~~~~

We were back at the house now. Phil and Techno were heading inside to get the table set. I was helping the pair get their stuff from the trunk. Watching their expressions while walking into our house.

Phil had called us, and I told them to follow me, motioning where they should go. The pair followed behind me as we walked up to the table. I showed them their seats and then we all sat down.

There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the air. I started to eat and so did the rest. The girl, however, was mindlessly nibbling on her food. Some time passed and now the air that filled the room was a bit more relaxed with the chatter of Phil, techno, and me that helped fill it. I stopped talking for a second letting Phil carry the conversation as I watched the new kids that would be staying with us for a bit.

The girl was eating in smaller bites stopping to look at her brother. I do not know what happened between them, but the boy was now in shock, annoyed even. She was looking back at him. This time I saw she scratched her collar bone three times. He looked a little less annoyed and quickly shoved three good bites of food into his mouth before putting everything down and slightly pushing the plate away.

I was confused. I swear they had their way of communicating. They just did normal things and were able to almost talk to each other. I would have to ask them about that when they feel more comfortable. In my opinion, if they end up staying with us for a while, the way they communicate could come in handy. I barely knew the pair, yet I already wanted to love them, care for them, protect them, everything. They belong here.

~~~~

Your pov

Phil, Techno, and Wilbur had finished taking us throughout their house. I would have to go through it later and map it out a bit better, so just in case I know where to go, where all the escape routes are, hiding places, etc.

I could not help but feel a little intrusive during the tour because they had pictures scattered throughout the house of them.  Most pictures were of them, but some pictures were of these other strange people.

Phil led Tommy and me to our room that we would be staying in. It had two twin beds, two desks, a dresser, and some small decorations. Phil had told us that the room was bland because he wanted us to pick out most of the decorations. I was beyond disbelief at this point. The room had more than anything Tommy and I had stayed in before and now he wants us to get more things!

Techno and Wilbur said their goodbyes as they left to head to their rooms not too far from ours. It was getting later now so they probably wanted to go lay down. Phil had taken us to the bathroom that was connected to our room, then showed us the closet. I was convinced this man was crazy. This was the best treatment we have ever had. I do not know what to do with myself. I was interrupted by my thoughts as Phil was saying his goodbyes and pointing to the door to his room right down the hall.

“Ok, kids I think this is it for tonight!” Phil started, “My room is right down there if you need me, feel free to knock.”

“OH- before I forget, the two of you will start school the next Monday. So, you have about three days to settle in. Tomorrow I think we can go out and go shopping for your room since we did not have time today.” Phil continued. “Maybe we could check out some things for school while we are at it?”

I nodded. Tommy started talking enthusiastically, “Ok, Big Man!” I giggled a tiny bit.

Phil smiled then said his goodnights and closed the door. Leaving just me and Tommy.

I turned to Tommy watching as his fake happy shield let down as he ran to the bathroom. I knew it was bound to happen. It was just a matter of when. I rushed to help him and his new sick and panicked state. Tonight was going to be a long one.

Chapter Text

I was sitting on the cold tile, my back against the sink cabinet, Tommy in my arms. Carefully running my hand through his hair, comforting to the best of my ability. This was tough. He was doing so well. He was clean for a week. We both were.

One week.

One week…

There is so much that could have triggered his attack. The new house, new family, stress, built-up anxiety, eating…  Tommy tends to bottle his feelings up and hide them from me. I can read him easily, so it is not that effective, however, for an outsider, Tommy looks like a happy, arrogant kid who has a sad background and a life that just did not treat him right.

I felt him tense in my arms as I pulled his tired body back over the toilet while rubbing small soothing circles on his back just waiting for Tommy to cool down his burning sensation to empty his entire body. We continued this cycle for a while. Tommy getting sick, falling into my arms, me holding him, then it happens again. He would feel this tomorrow, but I was just focused on comforting him right now.

It might have been about thirty minutes later, but he passed out in my arms. His malnourished body was gone from the exhausting torture it was just put through.

I sat there a little while longer, diverting my attention to the new surroundings. I had not paid much attention to the room since I was more concerned for Tommy before but now, I was observing. The bathroom was small, but not too small. There was nice tile on the floor. It complemented the cabinets well. It was cold though, very cold to the touch. The tile was keeping me in the right mind, keeping me grounded. The walls were a light settling color, calming to the eye. The door was right in front of the light cabinet. The shower and bath combination to the left of the toilet. Lastly, there were a few towels on the wall.

It was nice here. If I can manage to not fuck this up for Tommy and me, we might actually get to stay here.

Chills were being sent up my spine as I sat on the cold floor, my brother in my arms. My body now starting to shake because of the temperature. I started to lightly shake Tommy's arm. Moving the hairs in front delicately out of his face. Trying to be careful acting as if he were a piece of glass that could break any second.

A low grumble came from him in protest. As much as I wanted to, I could not pick-up Tommy, so I started to slowly pry him off my body. Careful not to move too quickly. Then helping the drained boy to his feet.

We started sluggishly towards the beds. We have not talked about who was going to sleep in which one, but I did not care right now. I lead him to the nearest bed. Once he was in the bed, I was quick to clean him up because I knew he would fall asleep immediately. I went through our bags and looked for one of his hoodies and brought it back to him so he could put it on. I also headed for the bathroom to get a rag and run water under it. I walked back over to Tommy and wiped off his face, throwing the now used rag into a clothes bin I saw by the door. Finally climbing by his side and letting him close his depleted eyes to fall asleep.

It was dim outside, the moon shining through the window causing a perfect beam of light over bits of our new room. It must have been a while since Tommy had fallen asleep because my body was starting to become irritated and restless. I felt gross. My clothes smelled. I could already feel my eyes growing sleepy, but my brain could never seem to put the puzzle pieces together. I love the night, I really do, but I can never fall asleep. My mind and body in a constant state of insomnia and fear.

I gradually picked Tommy off me trying my hardest not to wake him. Once I was free, I walked to my bag and grabbed some new clothes to put on, finally making my way to the bathroom.

I closed the bathroom door and turned on the light. Making sure the door was fully closed first. I did not want the new brightness to startle Tommy. I began to clean up the mess we made, not wanting to find out how strict this family would be. Who knows they could have a pleasant exterior but a painful, cold interior?

I used the different cleaners I found in the cabinet and picked up anything that looked misplaced. When I was done, it looked as if we had not even opened the door yet. As we did not even know the room existed.

 ~~~~

I was back in our room now. I was beyond bored. ‘I could go out and roam the house, but that might lead to getting caught and a not-so-fun beating. I do not think they have gone over their rules yet. If they did, I did not listen.’

Now looking through this new room, inspecting every detail my eye could see from the moonlight, I found myself at the window. Glancing back at Tommy and his unconscious state. ‘He did not deserve this. He deserves to be happy, to have a family. Not some fucked up sister.’

I did not realize that I was becoming anxious and worked up. But my fingers were frantically tapping, leg going, my thoughts were going too fast. I could not breathe.

Now standing up and walking back to the bathroom, I turned on the faucet and ran my hands under the cold water. It still was not doing anything. I was starting to freak out more, I did not feel safe. My mind slowly going to a dark place.

‘Where is Tommy? He is coming…He is going to hurt Tommy!’

I turned off the water and opened the bathroom door. My hands were shaking, I could not breathe, my chest hurt. I felt like the room was spinning.

Trying to look around the room. ‘I was back. Back in this room. I can’t think. Where’s Tommy? I can’t breathe. I felt nauseous.’

Walking more frantically now. I scanned my new bedroom, and my eyes came back to the window. Before I knew it, my feet were walking towards it impulsively. Sitting down against the wall. ‘He is not here, you’re safe. You are safe. You are safe.’ I whispered to myself, just hoping that Tommy stays asleep.

I was shaking more violently now; my entire body was sweating. Tears starting to form in my eyes. I could not breathe. I could not breathe…

I saw a faint light come from the little crevice under the door. ‘He is here.’ Now in a complete state of panic. Shoving myself as far from the door as I could, into the corner. My hand on my chest. ‘He is here! I cannot breathe. I am going to die. He is going to hurt me.’

A shadow now replacing the light from under the door. I knew he was here. ‘I’m back. I hate it here. I want Tommy… No, Tommy will get hurt. He can’t get hurt because of you.’ The tears were now leaving many trails as they quickly roll down my face.

Then I saw the door peak open. I swear my heart skipped a beat. The face in the doorway was completely dark, you could only see their outline in the light from the hall. Just a shadow standing at the door. Now walking towards me.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Please just do not hurt Tommy. I beg of you please leave him unharmed. Do whatever you want. I’m sorry, I’m- “I was quietly whispering still not wanting to wake up Tommy, cutting myself off with my harsh sob.

“Hey kid, listen. You are safe, I am not going to hurt you or Tommy. You are safe. Can I touch you?” The voice muttered. I peered up expecting ‘him’ to be right in my face, but it was not him.

It was Techno.

I nodded shakily, only partially back in reality. And looked down to see his hands grabbing mine.

“Sorry…” I mumbled.

“Kid, you do not have to say sorry for having a panic attack. What do you say you come with me? I will get you some water, maybe some food, and go from there? Ok?” Techno said in a soothing voice. I nodded still shaken up and short of breath.

The taller teen gave my hand an encouraging squeeze and stood up waiting for me to follow his action.

Once I was up, I gripped onto his hand a little harder as support feeling extremely dizzy. I stabilized myself then took my hand back and step a bit away from the man, wiping my tear tracks away with my other hand. He respected my boundary and led the way out of my room. I do not know why but I felt safe following him.

We ended up making it to his room. He stood at the door holding it open letting me walk in. I was looking around his room for a second, but the sound of the door closing made me tense.

I hated being alone with people other than Tommy. Techno must have noticed my new distraught state and reopened the door. “You do not have to be in here with me if you don’t feel comfortable yet.” He said calmly. I gave him a confused look. ‘He is giving me a choice?’ I thought. I just shook my head turning back around now getting a better look at his room.

His bed was against the wall by the door, a nightstand right by it. The bed cover was plain red but had a threaded pattern of what looked like big diamonds. At the top of his bed, he had two pillows there, both white. The nightstand had some chargers, an alarm clock, and a few cups on it. On the other side of the door was a big L-shaped desk fit perfectly between the two walls. He had a computer set up with fun colors some more cups, what looked like some schoolbooks, and a couple of pens and pencils.

I was interrupted out of my thoughts when Techno walked past me and went to sit in the chair at his desk. I headed to sit on his bed, trying to keep some distance between us since I still do not fully trust him.

~~~~

We talked like that for a while. At first, I was not that comfortable with him but after I got to know him a bit he seemed like a good person. Techno showed me some of his games on his computer, he told me about the school I would be attending, his interests and hobbies, our neighbors. I just sat there and listened to him talk. He had a soothing voice. I found out many things about him like we had some things in common and I learned that we have a neighbor named Tubbo around my age. After he talked a little more, I started to open up a little more and join in, keeping the things about my past truly short and choppy. I did not even recognize but I feel normal again, but maybe still a little shaken up.

He mentioned that he and Will were also in the system before Phil adopted them and I finally felt like someone would understand me. We might not have gone through the same things, but he could know me and how I felt sometimes.

“Would it trigger you if I were to go into detail about my past or should I move to a different topic?” Techno started giving me another choice. I liked him, I felt safe with him. I wanted to stay here, it is going to really suck when Tommy and I leave here. I nodded as confirmation and he started to talk about his past.

“Just stop me anytime I go too far, ok?” He said and I nodded. “I was thrown into the system at around eleven, maybe a year or two younger. Before I was living on the streets for who knows how long. Both of my parents had died when I was extremely young and I did not have anyone else I was related to, to take me in. I have been in many houses some better than others and then I met Phil. He fostered me for a while then finally asked me if I wanted to be apart of his family. That was when Kristen was still around. You would have loved her…” He said going through his memories.

I did not know who Kristen was, but I feel like she would have made me happy.

I continued to listen to Techno talk. His low voice making me sleepy. I laid down on his bed trying to get more comfortable. Squishing my face into his pillow. He must have seen because he gave me a small smile and then continued.

“After about a year and a half later Phil and Kristen brought up the idea of another sibling to me. I never had a sibling, so I said yes and was incredibly excited. Soon after Wilbur was brought to our house and we fostered him. You’ll have to ask him about his past if your careful just try not to bring up fire around him.” Techno said telling his story giving me few details about Wilbur as he continued, “We adopted Wilbur not long after. About half a year passed and Kristen got sick, she, unfortunately, did not win her fight, but she definitely fought. Phil decided to take a break from fostering for around a year but then he got back into it after talking to Wil and me. We of course said yes and proceeded to foster these two great other kids first was Ranboo and he left after about three months and got reunited with his mom, then Niki. Niki stayed with us for half a year I think, then she was relocated to another family. We are still in touch with both and have some visits occasionally. If you ever want to meet them just let me know because they are wonderful kids.” Techno said joyfully.

 I wish I met Kristen; I am sure the family would have many stories.

Techno continued his fun stories, he rambled on. Sometimes drifting away from the initial topic. I noticed my eyes were started to feel heavy. I let them shut, still trying to keep them open occasionally. But I ended up drifting away falling asleep in Techno’s room peaceful and safe listening to him talk as if I never had a panic attack.

Chapter Text

Happy one year, I still won’t update :/

It’s not discontinued I’ll get to it when I figure my fucking life but rn I’m just kinda lost and don’t want to write it anymore but I have hope I’ll get it done.