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When Trevor saw his long-dead friends on his daughter's computer, he had freaked out. And, as much as he had loved and cared for Luke and Alex, they weren't what really hit him. No, what had hit him was seeing the only person he had ever loved. And then he had gone to the Orpheum and watched Julie and her band perform, and sure enough - Reggie was on stage. Trevor had spent hours memorizing every single little thing about Reggie, studied him for hours and hours on end. And there was no mistaking it - that was Reginald Peters, singing and performing. In the flesh, or... whatever the hell was going on. And, just like that, memories came flooding back, memories that had long since faded.
It's not the taste of the kiss that pulls us in
Bobby would recognize those lips anywhere. Those lips that he had spent hours studying, fingers ghosting over every curve and crack. Lips that had clashed against his so many times, and yet not nearly enough. Reggie tasted like home, like sweetness and wonder.
It's the promise of getting that close again
It wasn't that Trevor didn't care for Carrie's mom. He did! She was his best friend, part of the little group that he, her, Ray, and Rose had formed. But unlike a quartet from Trevor's past, it just... it never felt right. It felt like a pale imitation of what could've been, of the three boys that young Bobby Wilson had grown up with, of the one he had grown to care for more than life itself. His fame felt hollow, felt wrong, because he wasn't sharing it with them.
I can't take away the feeling in your stomach
When the three boys had keeled over in the green room, clutching their stomachs, Bobby had freaked out. His mind was screaming at him that something was wrong, and his fears had been made into reality when the three of them had fully collapsed. Bobby had called 911, then, but part of him wondered, and always would wonder - if he called sooner, would they still be alive?
The part of you that's missing
Without Reggie by his side, Bobby just... didn't feel like Bobby. He felt like a whole different person. Like a lesser person, a smaller person. A broken person. It was part of the reason he had changed his name to Trevor - without Reg, Bobby Wilson didn't exist.
You don't love this anymore
Bobby wasn't Luke. Music was thrilling and exhilarating, but it wasn't what made him happy. What made him happy was performing alongside his two best friends and the love of his life. So when he started his solo career - it felt wrong. It didn't bring him joy. He did it, of course, wanting to try his best to keep their legacy alive. But Trevor didn't get any joy from performing. It just.... felt empty.
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Everything is changing
For a while, Bobby didn't perform. Performing felt wrong without them. It felt bad, it felt different, it felt horrible. He just couldn't bring himself to play music. But he could've sworn he heard Luke yelling at him, to pick up his guitar, to continue their legacy. To think of Reggie. Luke had always been supportive, teasing the two of them about their relationship while caring deeply about them. He was the one who had set the two of them up, who had realized that the two of them liked each other and gotten them together. And for that, Bobby would always be grateful.
The memories are fading
Luke's voice started to get fainter and fainter in his head as the months went by. And that wasn't the only thing that got fainter - Bobby was having trouble remembering how happy he had been. How Reggie had felt in his arms. What his boyfriend's voice had sounded like. Whether he preferred chocolate or vanilla ice cream. And, determined to keep their memories alive, Trevor had picked up the guitar and started playing again.
The world was open doors
For a band made up of 75% runaways, they had been extremely successful. They had managed to book the Orpheum, something that had astounded the four of them. They had never questioned it, though - well, Alex did, but he questioned everything. They were just thankful for the opportunities they had. There had been no reason to ask why they had had so many opportunities available.
And now they're shutting in our faces
When Trevor had started trying to continue with his music career, he had significantly less opportunities than Sunset Curve had. They had realized they had been lucky, but Trevor hadn't realized just how lucky. It had taken him years to get a record deal - nobody wanted to sign him on. So when a label finally reached out to him, he knew that that was his last chance. He had to take it. It felt like a betrayal, knowing that they wouldn't let him credit the three boys that had been his everything - or really, the one boy who had been his everything. He hoped that wherever Reg was, he would understand. That didn't stop the guilt that followed him for the rest of his life, though. The guilt, and the longing for the simpler days.
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But I want you to see tomorrow
One night, Reggie had slept over at the garage. His parents’ fighting had gotten bad, real bad. Violent bad. And Bobby, terrified, begged Reggie to stay over at his house. Reggie had agreed - but he had been reluctant, and that had made Bobby feel all sorts of emotions. Was he not a good enough boyfriend? He’d be better. He needed to be better.
'Cause it's more beautiful than you can see today
Bobby had held his boyfriend in his arms as they lay together on a cot Bobby had dragged out to the garage - Luke had already moved into the garage, so the couch was taken. Any other person would’ve probably felt weird falling asleep in the arms of their lover, in the same room as their best friend - but the four of them were so close, that they didn’t care. Bobby had whispered soothing words into Reggie’s ear when the boy had started to cry, reassuring him that one day he’d be out of his parents house, away from the fighting and screaming. It had taken a while, but Reggie had eventually fallen asleep in his arms.
And I want you to feel no sorrow
Bobby had woken up to Reggie flailing out in his sleep, knocking him off of the cot. He immediately rushed to Reggie’s side, trying to wake his boyfriend. Bobby couldn’t bear to see him in pain - Reggie was just such a sweetheart, he didn’t deserve to be in pain. He deserved to be happy, to laugh that wonderful laugh and to sleep peacefully.
Maybe we can learn to dream while we're awake
When Reggie had woken up, Bobby had momentarily regretted his decision. Maybe waking up Reggie wasn’t the right decision after all. Maybe Bobby was being selfish, and -
As if Reg could read his mind, he reached out to grab Bobby’s hand, sleepily waking up. “Hey, gorgeous.” He grumbled, and Bobby’s heart skipped a beat. “Carolina,” Bobby said, using his favorite nickname (besides Reg) for the beautiful boy. “You just woke up, and you’re already flirting? Do you ever stop?” Reggie, sitting up, just smiled his goofy smile, seemingly having forgotten his nightmare. “How can I resist, when you’re just such a dream come true?”
Don't fall asleep, Carolina
Bobby laughed at that, shaking his head. “God, you goof.” He chuckled, and Reggie’s eyes darted to the clock on the wall. “Bobert, it’s 4 AM. Why’d you wake me up?” Bobby, not wanting to remind Reggie of whatever the nightmare had been, had no answer. “I wanted to see you?” Reggie shook his head, pulling Bobby back onto the cot. “C’mon, you doof. Let’s go back to sleep.” Bobby’s eyes widened, and he shouted out a “No!”, which caused Luke, at the other end of the room, to shift in his sleep. “Let’s just… go outside, okay Carolina?” Reggie nodded, though his face had that adorable look of confusion on it, and they stood up, walking out of the garage.
Hold on to me
They had sat down outside, looking to the East, looking at the dark sky and stars as Reggie rested his head on Bobby’s shoulder, causing the boy’s heart to speed up a little, and they stayed like that for hours, talking and laughing.
And we can learn to live again
Eventually the sun rose, and as they looked at each other, smiling, they pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. It felt so good, so right. Bobby could’ve stayed like that forever, remaining in Reggie’s arms. They were interrupted, however, by a loud guitar sounding out, and they separated, laughing. “Guess Luke woke up, huh?”
=====
Sometimes we run beside the marathon runners
They had met, originally, because of something that wasn’t related to music at all. Reggie, desperate for any excuse to get out of the house, had tried out for the track and field team. Bobby, who was the star runner on the team, had found himself in awe of the new boy.
Too afraid of lagging behind
So in awe, in fact, that his performance had suffered - well, that was Reggie had insisted had happened. The truth (according to Bobby) was that he had just wanted to talk to the new kid, so he had purposefully ran slowly that day at tryouts. Whatever the reason was, they had started talking, and pretty soon they had moved past small talk and started to talk about music.
I can tell you that God only makes treasures
They had been ecstatic to find out that they both were musicians. Talk about a coincidence, right? It was almost like they had been drawn together for a reason. And both of them thought the other was an absolute treasure. So, Reggie had mentioned how he and his friends wanted to start a band, but how they didn’t have a practice space. Bobby, eager to impress this cute boy, had offered up his garage as a practice space. Later, they would laugh about how Bobby tried so hard to impress Reggie, when the boy was such a mess. “But,” Bobby would always correct, “You’re my mess.”
Of all the mistakes in this world
The two had been so busy talking, they had completely forgotten about the fact that they were supposed to be putting effort into trying out for the team. Neither of them made it in that year.
You're the one I wanna remember
On the other hand, neither of them could bring themselves to care.
=====
Everything is changing
At first, it was just Bobby and Reggie. Sure, they were a band with Luke and Alex as well, and the two others were Regge’s friends, but they weren’t really Bobby’s . It felt awkward, and that shined through in their mediocre performances. And then Bobby decided that no, he wasn’t going to stand for this. So he sat down with Luke and Alex, alone, and started talking. And even though they had talked before, it wasn’t until that day that the three of them really clicked .
The memories are fading
From there, the awkwardness dropped. It turned out that it had mostly been due to how Alex was anxious about Bobby, didn’t feel comfortable with this new person - and Luke, fiercely protective of his friends, saw that and assumed Bobby had done something wrong. But then they talked, they worked it out, and pretty soon they weren’t just Alex and Luke and Reggie and Bobby - no, they were Sunset Curve.
The silhouette kisses and ten cent wishes
It wasn’t even just when they performed, either. The four of them hung out, all of the time. And then first Bobby and Reggie, then Alex and Luke started dating, and then those ‘hanging out’ sessions started to blur the lines between four friends hanging out and, well, double dates. After all, when they hung out the two sets of boyfriends couldn’t help themselves, and they would break off from the other two and both sets would start making out before joining back up again, acting as if nothing had ever happened. It was… a weird dynamic…. But it worked. Somewhat.
And then Luke and Alex started fighting, snapping at each other over silly little things. Reggie hated it, and Bobby tried to calm his boyfriend, to tell Reg that everything was fine - but it wasn’t. And one time, when Bobby had been going on a date with Reggie without Luke and Alex, Reggie had confessed that he wanted nothing more than for the fighting to stop. And when Reggie, who still believed in wishes, tossed a coin into the water of the beach that they were at alone, Bobby knew exactly what he was wishing for.
Are burning out tonight
Luke and Alex did, eventually, figure out that they just… didn’t work. They broke up, and everyone was scared that that would mess everything up, that the band would split and then everything would fall apart. But they pushed past their fears, and the four just grew closer to each other than ever. Reggie and Bobby loved each other, sure, but they loved Luke and Alex equally as strong - it was just a different type of love.
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But I want you to see tomorrow
And then, because the world crushes everything that is sweet and nice and right, the day of the Orpheum came along. They were so excited, and Bobby felt like he was brimming with excitement. When Luke suggested street dogs, Bobby wanted to say yes. But the thing was, he was so excited that he honestly didn’t think he could eat. So he stayed behind.
'Cause it's more beautiful than you can see today
Bobby could’ve sworn that he felt something was wrong. That there was a shift in the air as he stood there talking to Rose. That there was a voice in his head screaming no, no, no . Or maybe, looking back on that day, Trevor just wanted there to be. Maybe remembering how he had been so excited, so happy, when his best friends and lover were unwittingly killing themselves, would hurt more than a little white lie about instincts.
When the three came back, Bobby could’ve sworn Reg was glowing . He was brilliant, exuberant, amazing. And Luke had this look on his face, this look of pure excitement and wonder that made Bobby’s heart hurt a little. All of them had been through so much, and now they were getting everything they wanted out of life - especially Luke. And Alex, god, Alex looked like he was relaxed. Like he wasn’t anxious, like he was carefree and happy. And Bobby wanted nothing more than to hug all three of them before making out with Reggie. But they were running short on time, so instead they just went to the green room.
And I want you to feel no sorrow
They had been warming up, preparing, when all of a sudden Alex had keeled over, clutching his stomach and groaning. That had scared Bobby enough - but then the other two joined him. Bobby looked between the three of them, eyes wide and confused. What the hell was happening?
Maybe we can learn to dream while we're awake
And then Alex had passed out. And everything happened so fast, and yet so slow at the same time, as their dreams flickered before their eyes. So, the Orpheum wasn’t happening, then. But then Luke had collapsed, and Bobby had rushed over to his boyfriend, realizing they had much more pressing concerns. “Woah, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Carolina, c’mon. Stay with me.”
Don't fall asleep, Carolina
Reggie’s eyes flickered shut for a moment, and Bobby freaked out. “No, no, no, open your eyes, open your eyes! Come on, come on!” Reggie had, thankfully, obliged. “Bobsters, I don’t…. I don’t feel so good.” He moaned.
Hold on to me
Bobby had to stay strong, even as his two best friends were passed out and his lover was on the verge. He stood up, holding Reggie in his arms, and started to walk over to the phone in the greenroom. “Okay, I’m gonna need you to hold onto me, honeysuckle.” “Okay, beehive.” Bobby laughed at the uniquely Reggie pet name, but it was a hollow laugh as he reached for the phone, shakily pressing three numbers.
I know you're dying for a sunset
And then Reggie’s eyes flickered shut again. “Woah! Woah, hey, hey.” They opened, but Reggie looked tired, looked weary. Like he was holding on by a thread. “Tell me-” Reggie groaned, gasping - “Tell me a story, Bobsters.”
“Okay, uh, once there were two boys who loved each other very much. They played music together and watched the sun rise and set, kissed each other in the pouring rain and- woah, hey, stay with me - and poured their heart and soul into each other.”
“Huh… that’s a… nice story. I… like it.”
“It’s our story.”
Don't fall asleep
“Hey! Hey, hey, hey. None of that, eyes open.”
The phone wasn’t ringing. Why wasn’t the phone ringing? He had pressed the dial button - a different phone, he needed to get to a different phone. He rushed out of the room, still holding Reggie in his arms.
Oh, Carolina
“Tell me… tell me another one.”
“Another story? Okay. Once there was a boy who loved horses, who loved feeling the wind in his hair and the sun on his back, despite the fact that he had never felt either of those things. He was from California, but his boyfriend always joked that he was from South Carolina. In fact, he called his lover Carolina.”
“.....you love me?”
“...I didn’t say that one was about you.”
Hold on to me
“I love you too, Beehive.”
Eyes closed.
“Woah, hey! Hey, hold onto me, I need to say it properly!”
Silence.
“Reggie! Reggie open your eyes!”
Finally, a phone. He dialed the number, still clutching Reggie tightly.
And we can learn to live again
“You’ve reached 911, what’s your emergency?”
“NO! Reggie, no! Reg, please!”
“Sir? Sir, I’m going to need you to take some deep breaths for me, alright?”
“HE’S NOT BREATHING! WHY ISN’T HE BREATHING? BREATHE, C’MON! IN, OUT, IN, OUT, C’MON!”
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I want you to see tomorrow
Numb. That’s all he felt. Numb. None of them would live to see fame. None of them would be happy again.
'Cause it's more beautiful than you can see today
Luke would never play another note. He would never make up with his mother, would never sing her that gorgeous song that was the only one he had ever been insecure about. Would never truly realize how much she wanted his dream to come true, but was just scared.
And I want you to feel no sorrow
Alex would never find peace. Would never get to see a world where his parents were in the minority, where all four of them could be who they were without fear. Would never truly realize how amazing he was.
Maybe we can learn to dream while we're awake
Reggie would never have a future with Bobby. All of their dreams, thrown away. Bobby would never hear that wonderful laugh again. Reggie would never stop jumping whenever people fought. Would never truly realize how smart he truly was.
Don't fall asleep
None of them would ever do any of those things. Because none of them would ever take another step. Breathe another breath. Speak another word. None of them would ever live again, because they weren’t alive.
They were dead. The three people Bobby cared about most in the world, and they had died within minutes of each other. They were dead.