Archive of Our Own ^beta

Prompts: Um hi, I love your writing. Would you by any chance want to write a hurt/comfort piece where Janus returns from a meeting with the Light Sides and has a breakdown bc the Light Sides still don’t completely accept him after everything (not in an unsymp way, more in a suspicious-but-not-wanting-or-realizing-that-they-hurt-him-way) and Remus comforts him? Thank you lots (should you choose to write it :D) - anon

If your still up for prompts can you do remus helping to comfort janus after a busy day like he does stuff only dark sides would know that will help janus relax - whitehorsewolf

They’re not mean. They’re just cold.

Patton doesn’t insist that he’s evil and that they should never listen to him, that bar none, lying is wrong, and Thomas is a bad person for even thinking about it. Logan doesn’t throw barb after barb at him, pretending he doesn’t understand sarcasm and using it as an excuse to put down his intelligence. Virgil doesn’t make his life hell every time he dares open his mouth. Roman doesn’t loudly cut him off or glare at him or make fun of everything he says.

Patton is quiet, asking politely if Janus wouldn’t mind explaining a little more. Logan is clipped, smooth, dispassionate. Virgil never makes eye contact with him but backs him up, every single time. Roman apologizes when he misunderstands and offers solutions for Janus to consider.

They are considerate, they are careful, and Janus hates it.

They’re walking on eggshells now, not just with him, but with each other. They speak so carefully that every single word becomes a lie, a lie of omission. Janus’s mouth almost starts to bleed with how bitter it tastes.

They try. They do their best. And he does have to give them credit because they are trying. They’re trying so hard that it’s killing them. It’s killing him.

So much is going unsaid so they don’t accidentally hurt anyone else that they’re tearing themselves asunder.

Is this…what he wanted?

He certainly didn’t want it to be this cold.

Janus reaches his door with a groan, opening it and slipping inside. His fingers slide uselessly off the clasps at the front, unable to wrap around anything for long enough to undo the clasp, move the material, even work through the fabric of his gloves. The material saps the warmth from him the longer he can’t get it off, creating a strange warmth paradox where it’s the only thing that kept him standing in that frigid, frigid living room but now it’s wicking away every last speck of his own heat.

He hisses, his mouth still bone dry from the lies. He manages to get himself over to the heat lamp and bat clumsily at the base, searching desperately for the button to press and make all this cold, cold, cold go away. He misses.

He grits his teeth and tries again.

He summons up every last bit of willpower he has and tries again.

Finally, he hits the button and almost faints with relief. The warmth is there, it’s right there, he just has to…just has to get to it…it’s so close…it’s right there…

Snakes…snakes don’t do well in the…in the cold…it’s cold…it’s so cold…

It’s…so…cold…

…so…

…cold.

Janus falls to the floor, his hand outstretched for the warmth of the heat lamp.

Something bangs on his door.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

“Janny!”

Janus can’t summon up anything to move.

“Janny, open up, or I’m coming in.”

He…can’t…move…too…cold…

“Janny? Janny, you’re not supposed to be the one that’s scary down here.”

…cold…

The hinges almost fly off his door as Remus kicks it in. If he weren’t as he currently is, he’d be pissed. As of right now, he’s just…there…lying on the ground…out of the warmth.

“Jeez, Janny, you’d think that you…were…Jan?”

Remus’s voice turns from manic glee to concern in less than an instant. Before Janus can blink—snakes don’t have eyelids—Remus is there, next to him, crouched on the floor.

“What’re you doing over here, Jan,” Remus mutters, “and why are you colder than a polar bear’s butthole?”

“Re…mus…”

“Yeah, Jan, it’s me, let’s…alright, let’s get you into the heat, yeah?” Remus grunts and gets his arms under Janus.

Janus almost groans with how warm Remus feels, even through the thick cloak. Once the heat’s gone it’s gone, replaced quickly by the blazing light of the lamp. Unconsciously, Janus lets his head flop to the side, the scales starting to gleam in the amber glow.

“Alright, that’s better, now let’s just—alright, here we go—why am I the one uncomfortable right now, is this what it’s like for all of you? It’s awful…”

If Janus had speech right now, he’d be asking Remus what he was talking about. Instead, all he can do is hiss clumsily as Remus starts to peel the layers off of him. Why is Remus doing this? Is something wrong with him?

Oh, right, he’s cold.

A high-pitched whine splits the air. He doesn’t like it. He would rather it stopped, thank you very much. It hurts. Did they leave some electronics on or something? Can this stop now?

Now Remus is making a shushing noise, what—

—oh. Is it…

“Shh, shh, Jan-Jan, it’s okay, hey, uh-uh, Snakey, you look at me now, yeah?”

Warm. Warm hand on his face. He tries to blink—does he have eyelids now?—and Remus’s face swims into view.

He’s worried. Remus never looks worried. It softens as soon as Janus can focus on him.

“Hey, Snakey,” Remus murmurs, “you just stay here, yeah? Be a little snake puddle?”

The whine keeps going. If anything it gets higher.

“Shh, shh, shh,” Remus hushes, “if you do too much of that you’ll spread the cold back around you, you gotta be quiet for a little, yeah? I’m gonna get the rest of these off you, but you don’t have to worry.”

…he’s the one making that noise. Well, that’s embarrassing. He’s sure if he could he’d be blushing right now. But cold-blooded and all that…

“There you go, Snakey,” comes Remus’s soft voice as those warm hands go back to work, “just stay right here and bask in your heat lamp. I’m gonna help.”

Janus lets his eyes close as more things start to jostle him lightly. He feels the thick layers being pulled away, exposing more and more scales to the bright light. It’s warm. It’s warm. He sags to the ground and his hands begin to twitch.

A chuckle comes from somewhere above him.

“Jan-Jan,” Remus murmurs, much closer, “I’m gonna get your soft stuff to put on and your scale brush, yeah?”

Janus just hums.

“When you got speech back you’re gonna tell me what happened,” comes the soft mutter before Remus is gone, leaving Janus there in the warmth.

Is he…mad? No, not really. The others haven’t done anything wrong, per se, they’re trying their best and it’s…it’s not easy. None of this is easy. As a matter of fact, they’re doing quite well, all things considered. He’s not exactly blameless here, is he?

Is he sad? That they don’t like him? Yes, a little, but that’s…that’s also not really what’s going on.

He’s just tired.

And very, very cold.

“Hey,” Remus murmurs, having crouched back down, “hey, Snakey, you here with me?”

“Mm…”

“Good. Here,” he says, raising a metal straw to Janus’s mouth, “you gotta drink something. You’re not looking so good.”

Janus opens his mouth and immediately winces when he feels something creak. Remus curses softly and summons something else.

“Alright, Snakey, I’m gonna sit you up a little. Hey, hey,” he soothes when Janus whines again in protest, “you’re not going anywhere, but you gotta rinse your mouth out. Trust me.”

Janus lets Remus—he doesn’t have much of a say in this, he’s still far too cold, but he trusts Remus—sit him up and lean him against something, tilted so his mouth is over a bowl.

“Here,” Remus says, holding up another cup, “it’s just warm water. Try and rinse your mouth out a bit, huh?”

Janus does, obediently taking a small mouthful and spitting into the bowl. Well, he more just…opens his mouth and lets it fall. There’s blood. And it’s going everywhere because he can’t aim like this.

“Hey, uh-uh,” Remus murmurs when he mumbles an apology, “you do know who you’re talking to, right Snakey?”

“’S messy.”

“If you think these little things are messy then I haven’t been working in the common area enough. Shh, shh,” Remus chuckles when Janus immediately protests, “I’m kidding. Mostly.”

Janus just keeps washing his mouth until it runs clear and it’s not as bitter anymore. Remus sets the bowl aside and raises the first straw to his mouth again.

“It’s just warm water and honey, it’s not gonna do anything to you. I promise.”

“…sure?”

“I’m sure, Snakey,” Remus hums, holding Janus firmly with his warm, warm arms, “I wouldn’t pull anything when you’re like this.”

He wouldn’t, Janus knows, he’s just…very tired.

“There you go…” Remus gentles him back to the ground when he’s had his fill, picking up the dry brush and rubbing it carefully over one of his shoulders. “When was the last time you brushed your scales, Snakey?”

“…mm.”

“Oh, Jan-Jan…” Remus shakes his head and strokes the brush down his arm, patiently working across the scales. “There…that’s better.”

The brush’s stiff bristles slide neatly between the scales and clean out even the most stubborn of detritus. Remus works patiently around the rest of his non-scaled skin. The bristles are too rough when they’re not on the scales. It’s quiet, just the soft buzz of the lamp and the scrape, scrape, scrape of the brush. It’s warm.

“Snakey,” Remus murmurs after a while, “do you think you can roll over for me?”

“…must I?”

“You can talk again,” he chuckles, along with a gentle poke to his belly, “that’s good. And unless you don’t want me to get the other side, you gotta roll over.”

“…help.”

“I gotcha.” Remus gently works his hands under Janus’s side and lifts, carefully letting him rest on his stomach. “There…you can breathe okay, yeah?”

“Mm.”

“Good.” The brush returns, working slowly over and over the scales. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

“Nothing.”

Another gentle poke to his side. “Don’t lie to me, Snakey,” Remus chides, “you don’t let yourself get like this just because.”

“The others are just…just…mm.”

“I know, but still.”

Janus sighs. He tells Remus how the others were cold. Not unkind, just cold. Remus hums, switching the brush to his other hand.

“It’s gonna take them time, Jan-Jan.”

“I’m not angry.”

“But it’s still nice to hear, yeah?”

“…mm.”

Remus finishes with the brush and carefully sets it aside, rolling Janus back so he can look at his face. The warmth is starting to seep into his bones, sinking him further and further into the floor. Remus chuckles.

“You gonna fall asleep there, Snakey?”

“’S warm.”

“I know, that’s the point. You can sleep, that’s okay. Want me to stay?”

Janus reaches out blindly for Remus’s sleeve. Remus lets him pull him down into the shady spot outside the heat lamp, pulling Janus a little closer. He’s not as warm as the heat lamp.

“If you wanna go ahead and fall asleep there, you do that. I’m not gonna go anywhere.”

It’s quiet. It’s warm.

“You’re doing great, Jan,” Remus whispers, “this shit is fucking hard on everybody. It’s gonna be okay.”

A warm hand settles on his belly, rubbing gentle circles.

“You rest now,” comes the murmur, growing longer and lower as it slowly becomes the only thing Janus can hear, “rest, Snakey…you’re warm now.”

Warm…

“You’re gonna be okay.”

…warm…

“Everything’s gonna be okay.”