Chapter Text
Ranboo had issues.
This was a fact that he was all too aware of. They followed him around, plaguing his every waking moment until he couldn’t see or stand properly. They wrapped their sickly fingers around his throat and squeezed until he waned from reality and into a void where conscious and unconscious were indistinguishable and yet all too different at the same time.
But now was not the time to think about that. He had issues, but today was going to be good. It had to be good. He was going to start over, something he desperately needed.
Ranboo opened one of his many books, tracing the words with his finger as he reminded himself of the things he needed. Axe, check. Carrots, check. Armor, check. Ink and quill, check. Leads for Enderchest and Ranbun, check. Memory books, check. His bags were practically bursting with all the miscellaneous things he had convinced himself was necessary.
Ranboo glanced up at the different heads mounted on the walls of his basement and pondered whether to add them to his pile of things before deciding against it. I’ll leave them for Techno, he thought, and pulled his final few bags onto his back. Ranboo took one last look at his basement, which felt strangely empty with only a few of his things missing, before grasping the wooden rods of the ladder and hoisting himself up.
Ranboo had made the decision to leave about a week before, pacing around his home in the dead of night. Rereading the many books of memories he had written had forced him to face the reality of what life was going to be like soon. Things may have been peaceful at that moment. The wrongs of the world may have been righted for a few fleeting seconds, but it could not last forever. Even with the fall of L’Manburg, the fall of Dream, the peace that they had found would not last, and Ranboo was tired.
He had almost been driven mad by the happenings of the world he lived in, haunted by a man he had barely met, a man who had barely met him. Ranboo had lived in constant fear of something that wasn’t even real, spinning truths endlessly inside his own head until he could not differentiate what had actually happened from listless anxieties that danced in his mind.
So Ranboo was leaving.
He flung the last few bags onto the back of the mule he had found wandering a few days before, and then picked up Enderchest and tried to make her comfortable on its back. She quickly nestled deep into one of the many bags of provisions, and Ranboo gave her a quick scratch behind her ears before turning and attempting to do the same with Ranbun, who refused to join her. I guess I’ll just be holding him, he thought, and gently placed the small rabbit into one of his larger winter coat pockets.
Ranboo walked to the front of the donkey and stroked its face for a moment. He knew that he was asking a lot of the animal, but silently promised it that he would make frequent stops so that it would not get too tired.
It lifted its head and stared at Ranboo for a moment, dull murky eyes looking into his own. It was strangely comforting, considering how eye contact usually makes him jumpy. Ranboo wondered what it was like to be the donkey, ignorant of the world around it and its strange and intricate politics. Sure, the donkey’s life was toilsome physically, but at the end of the long days it got to rest easy, without a dull smile and a record tugging at the back of its mind. Ranboo envied it.
But he was leaving the world behind him. He was leaving the power and the men and the gods who control both behind in the nations that would never rest. He was going to be free.
Ranboo felt guilty about wanting to leave. He knew that there were people in these lands who cared about him, who would miss him, who he would miss, but he was desperate. He was desperate for an end to the cycles of pain that continued on and on in these lands. Maybe he couldn’t find it for everyone, but he could find it for himself, and that had to be worth something, right?
All week, Ranboo had debated on asking someone to go with him, but he chose not to in the end. He and Fundy had not talked since their last argument, Niki was dedicated to her side, Techno and Phil were both happy where they were at, and Tubbo, well, he might have agreed, but only if Tommy went too. And, Ranboo knew, wherever Tommy went, trouble would be soon to follow. For a moment he considered asking Ghostbur to come, but he realized that spending all of his time with a ghost might be worse for him than spending it with a cat, a bunny, and a donkey.
Eventually, Ranboo had spent so much time debating with himself on who to invite to go with him that he forgot to tell anyone he was leaving in the first place, but that’s alright. He would leave a note at Techno’s to let him know what he was doing, and be on his way. Ranboo knew that Phil would also find out soon enough that he left, and make sure to tell his other friends.
Ranboo looked back at the small shack he had made for himself, white snow piling on the roof. The place had been what it needed to be, temporary, and now he had to leave. Now he had to walk away from the little life he had carved for himself in the snow and dim lantern light, and force himself to stand up and make something better. The place had been good, but he had to move on.
Ranboo turned away and pulled the hood of his coat up against the snow, picking up the lead to his donkey and began walking towards Techno’s house. When he arrived, he ripped a page from one of his books and scribbled down a note containing a few instructions and a goodbye that was much harder to pen than it should have been, before placing the paper on the kitchen table where it would be seen.
He stepped back and reached for the doorknob, but stopped himself. Why am I doing this, he thought. I am happy here.
But it can’t last, something in the back of his mind reminded him, and he turned the doorknob.
Ranboo stepped outside into the snow and picked up the lead of his donkey. He pat Ranbun on the head and looked up as the first glimpse of the dawn began to peak over the horizon.
“It’s now or never, Ranbun,” he whispered into the winter wind, and started walking.