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Suna lounged in a low lawn chair, stretching out their legs, letting their feet glide through the grass. The sun beat down on them, but they kept their face covered with a large sun hat, holding their hand over the top edge of their phone so they could see the screen. They glanced up, smiling as Komori chased their dog, Pika, around, shouting at him to drop the ball. He finally wrenched it out from Pika’s little teeth, and then chucked it across the yard.
“Hey, Toya,” Suna called, setting their phone down in their lap. They twiddled the hem of their sun dress in their hands. Komori perhaps thought they were being suggestive, because he wiggled his eyebrows and jogged over, plopping down in the grass next to Suna’s chair. He tilted his face up and puckered his lips. Suna wrinkled their nose, snorting at his sweaty skin, but leaned over anyways, kissing him softly. He tasted like salt and Gatorade. Pika ran up between Komori’s legs, having forgotten about the ball, and started licking his calves excitedly, before falling on his back and panting in the grass. Suna smiled.
“Yeah? Did your mom text you back about dinner yet?” Komori asked after pulling away from the kiss, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.
“Yeah, she’ll be here at seven, she said,” Suna replied, reaching over to brush Komori’s hair off of his face against their better judgement. But it made Komori smile, and he looked cute, so it was worth the sticky fingers.
“Alright, sounds good. I’m so hungry already,” Komori groaned, throwing his head back and rubbing Pika’s fluffy brown belly.
Suna shifted in their seat, angling towards Komori. It was the perfect day. The sun was bright, the grass was green, a cool breeze ruffled Pika and Komori’s hair. They had an iced black tea in the cupholder of their chair. Unsweet, with a red and white striped straw.
“I’m a girl,” Suna said, looking away after, across the yard at the white fence. They gripped the armrest, picking at the paint underneath nervously.
“Ah, it’s a girl day? Alright,” Komori said nonchalantly, flopping Pika’s ears back and forth and crossing his legs, bringing Pika onto his lap.
“No,” Suna said, refusing to look at the scene of their perfect life, afraid that when they turned back it would be gone. They wanted to keep the memory in their head, and imagine it that way forever. It would be something good to carry with them. They needed to package as many of these happy moments as they could for safekeeping to get through what was to come.
“Suna, what are you saying?” Komori said, plucking the grass nervously, one hand still on Pika. Suna ignored him, biting their lip.
“Hey, baby, look at me,” Komori implored, abandoning Pika to reach up and grab Suna’s hand. He laced their fingers together, bringing their hands to rest on the arm of the chair. He rubbed his thumb on the outside of Suna’s. “I love you,” he said.
“Don’t say that,” Suna said, finally looking back at Komori. Komori stared at them with a goofy smile and those bright eyes, the ones Suna couldn’t say no to.
“C’mon, not gonna say it back? I know you love me too,” Komori teased. His persistence to lighten the mood comforted Suna, like it always did.
“Fine. I love you too,” Suna admitted, sighing. “I’m a girl,” they repeated. “I was just thinking about it. Or, I have been, for a while. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Komori asked, continuing to trace his fingers on Suna’s gently.
“Because that’s not what you signed up for. You probably don’t even want to be with me anymore,” Suna said, choking up and looking away again. Pika pawed at their leg, asking to come up on the chair. Suna picked him up, holding him to their chest.
“Suna, I’m in love with you. As a person. And I really fucking hope you still want to be with me,” Komori said, with genuine concern.
Suna brushed a tear away from their cheek. “I do, you’re the best thing I have in my life, but I want you to be happy, and I’m afraid that I won’t be what you want anymore,” they said, no longer able to hold back the tears rolling down their face.
Komori stood up, and tugged on Suna’s hands, pulling them out of the chair and up into his embrace. Pika jumped off just in time and ran back across the yard. He tipped off their hat, letting it fall onto the ground behind them. Suna grimaced a little from the sweat, but buried their face in Komori’s shoulder anyways. Komori kissed their temple. “You’re everything that I want. And I don’t know what this is gonna mean for you, but I’m here to stay, you big dummy. Not gonna get rid of me that easily,” he said, chuckling and running his fingers through Suna’s hair.
Suna hugged him back tightly. “Alright,” they whispered. They knew that Komori would support them, as he had for years already, but it was still scary, and they were afraid of the unknown. They were lucky that Komori wasn’t afraid, with the heart of a beginner, full of strength to forge ahead. They were lucky to have Komori.
“Do you still want to go by Rin? And they and them?” Komori asked, mind racing through the logistical ground the two of them had to cover.
“I think Rin is fine still, yeah. I don’t know. Maybe you could try she and her sometimes? I didn’t think about it yet,” Suna said, sniffling and wiping their eyes with their hand, standing up and looking down at Komori.
Komori grinned. “You know, this is my favorite dress on you,” he said thoughtfully, straightening and smoothing down the skirt carefully. Suna cracked a smile, sliding their hands on Komori’s waist and enjoying the feeling of being anchored. The breeze drifted by again. Pika searched the grass for his forgotten toy.
“My girlfriend is so beautiful,” Komori said, raising his hand to Suna’s face, thumb brushing away one last stray tear.
“She makes me so happy. I can’t believe I get to be with someone like her.”
So much for being done crying. Suna’s eyes watered again. It didn’t help that Komori was wiping his own tears away with his other hand. Suna laughed.
“I’m so proud of her, and I love the person she is,” Komori continued, letting the words roll off his tongue, testing their weight in his mouth.
“Stop, we have to stop crying, Toya,” Suna said, still laughing, trying to make out Komori’s face through wet lashes.
“Fine, fine. So? What do you think?” Komori said, kissing Suna’s cheeks all over to make teardrops disappear, like extinguishing candles with a pinch.
“I like it,” she said.