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Damian sighed as he was patrolling the area as usual. He didn't understand why Father wanted him to go out on a relatively safe night like this. But he was Batman, and whatever he said, went. He did find it odd that there was no activity in his area, though. "This is ridiculous. I should be talking to Ladybug, not roaming around these filthy streets." He grumbled to himself, unhappy that he wasn't able to go on twitter and chat to his beloved.
"Hello, Robbie~" A sickly, sweet familiar voice rang out.
"Who's there?!" Robin barked, tensing up. Speak of the devil and...he knew how it went. "Come out!"
"You've been real cold to me lately. You didn't even help me when those bastards tried to make me suffer. That's so cruel..."
"I said come out, Rossi! You are fooling no one!" Damian barked, teeth clenched as he reached for something inside his outfit. An evil laugh interrupted him. "Oh, Robbie, I wouldn't do that if I were you..."
"What-" Then Damian saw black, and he knew no more.
"Robin? Robin, respond." Nightwing pressed his communicator. "Robin? Robin!" He shook his head and sighed. "Guys, I think Robin isn't responding."
"Relax, he's probably sulking about not being able to talk to Pixie Pop." Red Hood huffed.
"Or maybe he's being his usual brooding self." Red Robin replied. "Who knows."
"No, this isn't like Damian. I know it." Nightwing shook his head. "He always has a snappy comeback. I think something's happened to him. I'm going to check." He shut his comm off and headed towards where Damian's last known location. "I'm coming, Little D!" Dick took off in full sprint, hoping nothing happened to him...
Bruce was at the Batcave, scanning for anything out of the ordinary in his city. There was no rest for the wicked, and he certainly wasn't going to let a slow night stop him. Suddenly, one of his tabs had a message on it. He moved over to it and clicked on it. "It better not be Jordan again." Bruce grumbled, looking at his message box.
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Greetings, Batman.
BigBatDad @gotham's_hero
Who is this?
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
You needn't know that. But what you can know is: That I have Robin.
BigBatDad @gotham's_hero
If you have done anything to him-
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Why would I hurt the one I love? I would never hurt him.
Wicked Rose @crimsonmystery
You'll be seeing him soon, trust me. Ta-ta~
Bruce slammed his fists onto the console. "Damian..." He growled darkly as he glared at the screen. Whoever WickedRose was, they were not going to get away with this. No one messed with his kids. "Nightwing. Have you seen Robin?" He asked his eldest son, hope fluttering in his heart that he somehow managed to get away from his abductor.
"...I'm sorry, B. I don't see him around the area he was patrolling. I-Wait." Bruce tensed up as he heard some noises. "I see some footprints, signs of a struggle..." Nightwing's breath could be heard through the comm. "B... Robin's been taken. I'm sorry."
Bruce was very proud of his self-restraint he built up during the years, because any normal person would raged and freaked out over the news that their son was gone. Instead, he leaned forwards in his chair. "Nightwing, call the others. Let them know about Robin's kidnapping. Whatever information you have, tell me."
"Bruce..."
"We will find him, Dick." Bruce shut off the comm and sighed. The person that messaged him had a handle labeling themselves as a hero. He knew none of the Justice League and anyone associated with them didn't take Damian, so they were out. And the independent heroes were out as well. That left the villains, and people who possessed a hero complex. The major and minor villains he knew would never kidnap his son for love. As he began to piece together the information he had so far, Bruce hoped Damian would be alright.
"Ugh...." Damian woke up, tied to a chair, his weapons were gone and his body was sluggish. "W-Where am I?" His vision soon began to clear as he looked around the room he was in. It was absolutely girlish, with red and pink furniture and pictures of him with Rossi attached. "R-Rossi? Rossi, where are you?"
"Right here, Dami-boo." Damian tried to not feel frightened as he turned to face Lila, who was suddenly standing in front of him, her eyes staring into his blue ones. "Oh, Damikins, did you really think I wouldn't know who you really are under that mask of yours? All I had to do was to look at your pictures, you, and bingo~! Domino masks don't hide much, by the way. Trust me, your friends made sure of that." She then leaned forwards and planted a kiss onto his cheek.
"What do you want, Rossi?" Damian growled, baring his teeth.
"Want? What do I want? I want many things, Dami-boo. I want to murder Ladybug for ruining my FoxBlog, ruining any chance of being the most popular hero, and making me a fucking laughingstock!" Lila screeched the last part as she grabbed something and threw it against the wall. "But you know what they say, 'Revenge is a dish best served cold'." She then leaned closer and caressed Damian's face. "So, I'm going to make her pay. I reinvented myself, you see. Rena Rouge may be tarnished, but..."
Lila moved towards the light switch and flicked it on, revealing her to be posing, clad in a red outfit decorated in roses. "Lady Roselina lives on!" She then turned to Damian with a smile. "What do you think, my lovely Dami-boo?"
"You are insane."
Lila then burst into giggles at that. "Oh, Dami, that's hilarious! You're hilarious!" She patted him on the shoulder, smiling. "You see, after the little Ladybitch's party, I went to find someone who would train me to be a hero. Wouldn't you know, that I met a group of all-female assassins that were glad to take me on as their student. I learned a good deal from them, like poisoning, stealth, martial arts, and whatnot!" The sausage-haired girl wrapped her arms around Damian and nuzzled against his face. "You see, Dami, I'm not the Lila Rossi you know anymore. I'm a new girl now. And this girl is going to get what she wants."
"You will never get away with this," Damian hissed. "My father will find you. My family will find you. My girlfriend will find you."
"Oh!" Lila jumped back, grinning. "You mean Ladybitch, right? Or should I say, that little girl, Marinette, who you were with earlier. Oh, she's first on my shit list." The grin grew wider as she grabbed her phone and began to tap on it.
"What are you doing? What are you planning to do to her? If you touch her-" Damian was cut off by Lila's finger on his lips.
"Shhhhh." Lila shushed him as she brought up Twitter and began to type a message.
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Hello, Ladybug~
Snugbug @littleladybird
who is this?
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Well, that's for me to know and you to find out~
Snugbug @littleladybird
you better tell me!
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
I'll show you instead, dear.
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
[Image of Lady Roselina hugging and nuzzling her face against an uncomfortable, tied-up Damian against her, a big smile on her face]
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Me and Dami are having so much fun together~
Snugbug @littleladybird
DAMI!!!!
Snugbug @littleladybird
YOU LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!!!
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Calm down, sweetie. We're just having fun.
Snugbug @littleladybird
LIKE HELL YOU ARE! IF YOU HURT HIM I SWEAR TO GOD ILL FUCKING END YOU!
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
I wouldn't be making any threats if I were you. Remember, Dami is in my hands now.
Snugbug @littleladybird
what the HELL do you WANT?!
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
That's a silly question, of course. Revenge, obviously.
Snugbug @littleladybird
WHAT???
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
I'll leave you with a hint.
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
"No one can outwit a fox."
WickedRose @mystery_heroine
Ta-ta~!
Marinette shrieked as she threw her phone across the room in anger, balling her fists tightly. "That bitch...!" She seethed, eyes lit with fire. "THAT BITCH!"
Diana entered the room, a concerned look on her face. "Is something wrong, Marinette? What happened?" Marinette's anger faded into sadness as she turned to Diana, a sour look on her face. "She's got him, Diana. She's taken him away from me..." She walked over and slumped onto the bed, head hanging down. Diana walked over and sat down near her, arm around her shoulders. "Tell me, what's wrong? Talk to me, little sister. What's gotten you so upset?"
"...Damian's been kidnapped by someone that can't get their head out of their ass." Marinette hissed darkly, leaning against Diana. "I thought I was done with her after my birthday. But, no, she had to come back and try again to piss me off."
"Who is this girl?" Diana rubbed her shoulder gingerly.
"Her name is Lila Rossi, a so-called 'hero' who hates my guts just because I'm more popular than she is. She's nothing more than...than..."
"A lying, cowardly bitch?" Diana finished for her.
Marinette moved away from her in shock, eyes wide at the older female. "...Oh, my god, Wonder Woman just cussed. You never cuss."
"I just felt the situation was more appropriate, that's all. Also, you were thinking of it as well." Diana then give her a cheeky smile. Marinette let out a small giggle at that, nodding. "Y-Yeah, that's true. She is a lying, cowardly bitch." Both of them began to laugh softly as Marinette began to feel a bit better, having her spirits lifted slightly. "I just hope Damian's going to be okay." She sighed. "I can't stand that I'm here and he's there, all alone with that smug bitch." Diana patted her on her back gently, having a calming effect. "I want to get her for this."
"Rest assured, Damian will be safe soon. I know for a fact that his father wouldn't allow him to be harmed." Diana soothed. "Right now, you should just rest and take your mind off of that Lila girl. It's not healthy worrying about such things."
"I know." Marinette nodded. Giving her one last hug, Diana got up and left Marinette alone, closing the doors behind her. The Ladybug wielder then decided to take her big sister's advice and crawled into her bed, sighing as she pulled the covers over herself and nodded off to sleep.
The next morning...
"Ooh, that little bitch." Bea hissed as she was sitting on a ledge in the amphitheater, Tora beside her. "I'm going to make her wish she was never born. No one fucks with our little ladybug."
"Bea, no. We are not going to kill her." Tora replied sternly.
"Fine. But I still want to beat the living shit out of her, though." The fiery heroine grumbled, then looked at Marinette softly. "Hey, little chica, don't worry about it. We'll get your little bird back."
"Thanks, Miss Beatriz. I'm really happy to hear that." Marinette smiled at her.
"How are we going to find her, though?" Arisia asked. "She's probably good at hiding herself."
"It doesn't matter, we're gonna turn everything upside down until the bitch falls out, and then we'll make her pay." Fire danced along Bea's fingertips as she clenched her fist. "And I'm going to be the first to teach her a lesson. On the plus side, though, I love these Greek tunics." Bea tugged at her green tunic. "Really showcases the thighs, doesn't it?"
"Bea!" Tora squeaked, walking over towards Marinette and pulling the girl towards her. "Mari's right here!"
"She has a point, though." Arisia agreed, roaming her fingers against the fabric. "I kinda like how it feels against the skin and everything. It's the kind of outfit that leaves little to the imagination."
"My girl," Bea shot a grin at Arisia. "She knows what I'm talking about."
Tora placed her hands over Marinette's ears, frowning and blushing. "Not in front of the baby!" She shot a glare at her friend. "She's too young for this!" The green-haired woman let out an exaggerated sigh."We're all girls here, Tora. There's no need to protect her innocence." Bea replied, rolling her eyes. "Besides, teenage girls have to learn this stuff someday. Also, I bet you're glad you're out of that damn outfit and into a better one, aren't you?"
"Yes, but this isn't hardly any better!" Tora blushed even harder, feeling a slight breeze brush against her legs. "I still don't want to flash my privates in front of people! We weren't exactly wearing anything under our costumes when we came here, Bea!"
Marinette sighed at their antics, wondering what exactly Uncle Guy was thinking of when he brought them here. Bea snorted. "This is an all-girls island, not an island full of Gardners, honey." She stopped, a troubled look on her face. "I can't believe I said that. Anyways, I doubt the Amazons are gonna be embarrassed by you flashing them."
"That's not the point! I'm talking about Marinette! I don't want to give her a lesson about female anatomy!" The white-haired woman held the younger girl towards her protectively. Her partner and friend rolled her eyes. "Mari, do they teach sex-ed at your school? Blink once for yes, two for no."
"Bea!" Tora squealed.
Marinette blinked.
"See." Bea smugly grinned. "She knows, Tora."
"That doesn't mean anything!"
Arisia was giggling at the scene, clutching her stomach. The gold-skinned Lantern watched as the fire and ice duo kept arguing about Marinette's innocence and their views on modesty.
Hal was smiling. He knew it was almost time for Marinette to come back home, where she belonged. He couldn't be anymore overjoyed if he tried. His little girl was finally going back to Coast City. God, it was so good to be on top of the world!
"Hal!"
...Except when devilish dark-haired women always tried to bring him down to earth. "Aww, c'mon! Let me be happy for this one day, please!" Hal groaned as he forced himself to turn to face Carol. "Yes, your highness?"
"Shut up and listen. I have a foreign class coming here soon, and I want you on your best behavior whenever they arrive, you hear me? No swearing, no being a jerkass, and no losing your temper." Carol kept jabbing her finger into his chest. "You got that?"
"Ok, I got it. Now leave me to my happy place, woman!" Hal sighed, earning him a smack on the arm. "Dammit!"
"Watch it, Jordan." Carol glared at him, and then turned around and left. Hal sighed. At least he could focus on what kind of things he could do when Mari came back. He couldn't wait to spend some quality time with his sunshine again. But still, he couldn't help but wonder what the strange feeling he was suddenly having, as if something stupid as about to happen.
"Emergency Bulletin! A strange matron-like monster is attacking people, scolding them for imagined misdeeds they may have not caused." The news anchor announced. "Stay at home if she comes your way. The matron is at the city square."
"FUCK!" Hal shouted. He then ran down the hall, ring shining...
"YOU BOYS AND GIRLS HAVE BEEN BAD CHILDREN! YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!" The Mad Matron, as the news called her, was grabbing a couple of scruffy young men in one of her big hands. "YOU TWO ARE GOING TO GET SPANKED GOOD!"
"Someone help!" One of the men screamed. "I don't wanna die like this!"
"SILENCE!" The Matron then summoned a giant paddle and held it menacingly. "I WILL PADDLE YOU 20 TIMES!"
"Hey, granny!" Green Lantern floated in front of her. "Drop them right now." Hal then summoned a paddle construct. of his own "Or you'll be the one getting spanked!"
The Matron Akuma glared at the floating man in front of her. "HOW DARE YOU THREATEN YOUR MOTHER, YOU LITTLE THUG!" She swung her paddle at Hal, who blocked it with his own. The crowd watched as the epic paddle fight between the Matron and Hal ensued. Hal danced out of the way from swipe from the Matron and swung overhead at her, only for her to move out of the way. Their paddles clanged and shook loudly, sending small bursts of air through the streets.
"Stop this shit, Grandma!" Hal roared at her. "Go back where you came from!"
"YOU INSOLENT CHILD!" The Matron bellowed, dropping the men to the ground and storming towards Hal. "I WILL PUNISH YOUR SAUCY BEHIND WITH MY HAND!"
"Jesus Christ," The brunette shook his head. "I am so glad my mom wasn't like that."
Suddenly, a flicker of yellow entered his view as a girl in a bee-themed outfit dashed out and jumped towards the Matron. "Hey, mom, If you want to spank someone, give me a try!" She put her hands on her hips.
"Young lady, you watch your tone!" The Matron growled. "I bet your parents have spoiled you greatly. I will rectify their mistake."
"You can try," The bee girl smirked. "If you can catch me first!" She then jumped into the air, fluttering into the sky. The Matron roared and ran after her, Hal following her. "Hey, kid, wait!" He shouted after her. "Hold on! Wait for me! God dammit!"
"Dami-boo, which clothes do you think suit me?" Lila held up a red dress and a pink t-shirt and black spats. "C'mon, you can be honest."
"Neither."
Lila pouted. "You're not even looking at them! Dami... Look at me."
"I've looked enough."
The sausage-haired girl walked closer to him, her pout growing as she put her hands onto her hips. "Damian Wayne-Rossi, you look at me right now!"
Damian's eyes opened and he shot a bored, flat glare at her. "Why did you add your name to mine?" He demanded.
"Because, sweetie, we're going to be married!" Lila glomped him and kissed his cheek. "Aren't you happy? We'll invite everyone to our ceremony! Even your whole family!" She let out a squealing coo. "I can't wait to be in-laws!"
"I cannot wait to be free." Damian sighed.
"I can't wait to get my hands on the little fox bitch!" Bea growled under her breath, earning her an elbow from Tora. "Ow! Tora!"
"Hush!" Tora hissed back as they turned to look at Diana and Marinette, talking to Hippolyta. The three of them were talking about something they couldn't quite make out, and it was bugging the fire-using heroine. "God, I wish I knew what they were saying." Bea grumbled.
"Are you sure that you cannot stay with us a little longer?" Hippolyta asked. "I'm sure that I can offer you some more pointers on combat."
"I'm good, thanks." Marinette rubbed her side from where she was training and sparring with Hippolyta. Diana wasn't kidding when she said her mom was a skilled warrior in her youth, and it showed. Marinette had to use everything from her Papa's training just to dodge her blows and parry them. In the end, Hippolyta laughed and declared her to be an honorary Amazon.
"Mother, we really have to be going now. I'm sure Marinette misses her friends back at Man's World." Diana spoke. Hippolyta sighed and turned towards Tikki. "Tikki, I want you to look after her and take care of her." The kwami nodded. "Of course! Your mother said the same thing to you, after all-"
"Tikki! No more stories about me!"
Diana and Marinette laughed as Tikki huffed and retreated back into Marinette's bag. "Come, Marinette, the jet awaits." Diana placed a hand onto her shoulders and the two dark-haired females walked off, along with Bea, Tora and Arisia. Hippolyta sighed as she watched them off. "Gods, I pray that you protect the holder of the Ladybug." She sighed solemnly. "She may need it for what's to come.
"Tikki, we're away from the island now." Marinette spoke. "So, spill it!"
"Okay, okay." The kwami huffed. "Do you remember when I said Hippolyta was much like you? Well, there was one time she tried to ride a griffin, thinking she could tame it."
"What happened, did it buck her off?" Marinette asked.
"Worse." Tikki sighed. "Not only it bucked her off, she landed in the mud and it then jabbed its beak into butt when she was getting up, making her fall into the mud again."
Diana and Marinette howled in laughter at the image of the powerful warrior queen Hippolyta covered in mud and falling from a griffin. "Oh, Tikki, please tell me you're joking...!" Diana gasped out. "It's true! Hippolyta smelled like a pig afterwards! Her mother even forbade her from riding the griffins! Oh, you should've seen her face when Hippolyta approached her, dripping mud into the palace!" Tikki chattered. That made them even laugh harder as the jet made a beeline towards America, followed by a green bubble.
Batman was driving around the streets, looking around for any sign of Damian's kidnapper. What did they want with him? Who would go so far as to assault him during patrol and take him away? He would find out or die trying. Suddenly, his phone rang and he tapped the call button. "This is Batman."
"Hello, Batman~" A feminine voice rang out. "Nice to meet you~"
"Wicked Rose?" He growled out. "Did you get this number from Robin?"
"Ooh, how smart you are! That's right, Robbie-kins was kind enough to share your number with me. I just called to ask your blessing in marriage for Robin's hand."
"Where is he?" Batman gripped the wheel. "I want to speak to him."
"Sure, here you go." There was a shuffling, then Bruce then heard a grunt. "F-Batman. I am alright. The kidnapper is keeping me safe."
"Did she do anything to you?" Batman asked softly.
"Nothing. But I have to tell you something, Batman. The fox is hiding in the rosebush-" He was cut off as the female voice returned to the phone. "Okay, time's up! We got to go now! Bye-bye~!" Then it shut off. Bruce grimaced as he tapped the comm button. "Were you able to get the signal?" He asked Oracle.
"I'm sorry, B, it was a burner phone." Barbara sighed.
Damn it! Bruce gritted his teeth. Then his son's cryptic words came to him. The fox was hiding in the rosebush. A sudden thought came to his mind as he began to think back to Marinette's birthday. Lila Rossi was revealed to be Rena Rouge, and the person that sent him the message had Wicked Rose in the handle. Bruce stopped the Batmobile and leaned back into the seat. Lila Rossi was Wicked Rose. She had kidnapped Damian. "Oracle, tell everyone what I'm about to tell you."
As Marinette and Diana touched down on Ferris Airfield, Carol went out to greet them. "Hey there!" She shouted, waving at the two inside the invisible jet. Marinette giggled and waved back. As they disembarked from the jet and walked down, Marinette ran towards Carol and glomped her. "Miss Carol! I've missed you!"
"Me too, sweetie." Carol hugged her back. "How was your vacation?"
"It was fine, we've had a lot of fun! Where's Papa Hal?"
Carol then frowned. "Your papa is fighting another giant monster. Seems like a bee girl is in the action too." Marinette blinked. Another Miraculous had chosen its holder? She had to go find them. "Sorry, Miss Carol, I gotta go help my Papa."
"Be careful, Mari." Carol nodded as Marinette then began to chant out, "Tikki, spots on!" and transformed into her hero costume. She then looked at Diana, smiling lamely. "Uh... can you help me get a ride to the city, I left my...jetpack at home."
"I will be glad to help, little sister." Diana then took Marinette by the hand and then flew into the air towards the city.
"FUUUUCK!" Hal was sent flying into a house, groaning. "Damn granny and her damn paddle! Fuck!" He struggled to get up to his feet and tried to summon a construct, but he was knocked back thru the house as Mad Matron let out a roar. "YOU NAUGHTY BOY! YOU NEED TO BE PUNISHED!"
"Over here, mom!" Queen Bee, as she called herself, hurled a rock at her head. "You need to punish me too!" She then fired stingers from her wrist at the raging matron monster. "YOU INSOLENT BRAT!" Mad Matron stormed towards the bee girl as she somersaulted over her head and flung a foot into the Matron's face. "I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL SCREAM AS I SPANK YOU!"
"Good god, lady. This is not the America of old! Times have changed! Get with the reality and move on!" Hal shouted at her, flying back inside the house and using a handcuff construct to bind her. But the Matron roared and dodged it, making a beeline towards the brunette and tackled him, sending him flying across the field behind the backyard. "God- jesus- shit- damn- fuck!" Hal let out a moan as he laid onto the dirt. "Owww... It hurts..."
"Green Lantern!" Queen Bee shouted, quickly dodging a paddle strike from the Mad Matron. "Get up!"
"YOU NEED NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM! YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR BUM!" The matron growled at the defiant bee heroine and swung her paddle at her, sending her flying back right into Hal, who let out a groan. "NOW THE TWO OF YOU WILL RECEIVE DUE SPANKINGS!"
"Not while I'm around!" Hal lifted his head up and saw his little Ladybug stand on top of the roof, heroically. "You won't get away with this!"
"ANOTHER INSOLENT GIRL?! I WILL HANDLE YOU!" The Mad Matron roared as she surged at the girl, who leapt off the roof and used her yo-yo, hitting her right in the face. Queen Bee grunted as she pushed herself up and snorted. "I could've had her." She spat out.
"Yeah, sure, whatever, kid." Hal slowly pushed himself up and looked at her. "Aren't your parents worried about you?"
"Hmph!" The bee girl just huffed at him and returned to the fray of the battle. Hal sighed. He was getting too old for this. "My Lady! I am here to help!" Oh, god, it was Cat-boy again. Fucking hell. The brunette Lantern then sat back down as he watched the kids fight the crazy evil granny.
"I WILL NOT LOSE TO A COUPLE OF-" The Mad Matron screamed as she was hit by the weird magic power from Cat-boy, and his little sunshine used her yo-yo to restore the damage the monster had caused. Where Mad Matron had been was now a confused old lady in her place. After the old woman had been taken to safety, Hal let out a sigh as he brushed himself off and looked at the kids. "Ok... Well done, Cat-boy and... Bee-lass."
"Queen Bee." The girl hissed out.
"Whatever." Hal walked over to Ladybug and smiled. "Nice job, Ladybug. Came right in the nick of time."
"Hey!" Queen Bee huffed. "I helped too, I deserve some thanks too!"
"My lady, are you alright? I came as soon as I heard you were here!" Chat Noir clasped her hand into his. Hal narrowed his eyes at the boy. Seriously, he was this close to being a neutered cat. Marinette sighed. "I'm fine, Chat, when you came along."
"It pleases me to hear you praise me, my lady." Chat then kissed her hand, causing Ladybug to squeak. Hal balled his ring-clad fist, ready to summon a fist to punch this idiot away from his little sunshine and-
"Greetings, ladies and gentlemen!" A voice came from inside the house, the TV playing loudly. Hal and the others rushed inside to see Lady Roseline and Robin inside a cathedral, Damian squirming in his chair, blindfolded, as Lila spun around in her red wedding dress, giggling. "Welcome to our beloved wedding between me and Robbie-poo~!" She then wrapped her arms around Robin and held him tightly to her.
"That bitch!" Marinette screeched, seething.
"Oh, fuck, it's the crazy fox girl, isn't it?" Hal shook his head in disbelief. "Why? Why would she do this? They're too fucking young to get married!"
"What a weirdo," Queen Bee snorted. "God, look at that tacky outfit. A red rose print wedding dress? Couldn't she be any more lame?"
"I'm broadcasting this live from the lovely St. Augustine Cathedral of Coast City, the home of the so-called hero, Ladybug." Roseline spat out the last part in disgust. "Ladybug, if you're hearing this, then you know you're the guest of honor of our wedding. I suggest you come and see our wonderful union. But don't you dare get any funny ideas about trying to ruin this. Believe me, I will know." The masked bride sneered at the camera, then grinned. "So, everyone else, come one, come all! We have food and drinks, and we'll have a good time! It'll be great! Ta-ta~"
Marinette threw the yo-yo at the tv, breaking it.
"Ladybug!" Hal cried out. "That was someone's TV! You can't just break that!"
"FUCK THAT!" Marinette screamed, making her father jump back in shock. "That bitch thinks she can get away with this? Not on my turf. Not on my watch. And certainly not with MY ROBIN!" The last part made Chat Noir frown sullenly. "I'm going to crash that damn wedding whether she likes it or not!" Hal had never been more proud of his little sunshine in all of his life. She was becoming like the chip of the old block, a gusty young heroine. He ignored the ringing of his phone as he walked towards Marinette. "Let's go get her, kiddo. Let's show Little Miss Rosebud who she's messing with."
"Oh, Dami-boo, I'm so happy!" Lila cooed as she stood at the altar, spinning around giddily as she looked at her groom, clad in a tuxedo. The priest was also in a chair, a bomb strapped along with the ropes. "We're going to be together forever!"
"I would rather die first." Damian hissed. "This is sick and wrong, Rossi, and you know it."
"Please, my child, this isn't right. You cannot do this." The priest pleaded, only for him to go silent as Lila pulled out a rapier and pointed the tip at his throat. "You shut the fuck up and just read us our vows, you stupid, fat-assed bastard!" She snarled, then whirled around and smiled at Damian. "Dami-boo, you'll see that I'm the perfect girl for you. Not that ugly-ass, scrawny, mousy-looking bitch."
"You will not call her that!" Damian raged, thrashing in his bonds. "She is an angel, not a demon like you!"
Lila blinked, then burst into laughter. "Oh, my god, that is so ironically hilarious! You're so funny, Dami-boo!" Damian just glared daggers at her, hoping she'd fall over dead. No such luck, as Lila then walked over to him and cupped his face in her gloved hand. "I can't wait when we kiss, Dami~" She whispered lustfully into his ear.
Damian growled as the rosy bride sauntered towards the priest, holding her blade at his throat again. "Now, fatso, read the vows. Or else."
The priest sighed as he began to recite the marriage vows. "D-Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."
Lila took her place and looped her arm under Damian's, beaming with joy. Damian hoped that Marinette would get here in time, he did not want to be with Rossi forever.
"Green Lantern, how far is the cathedral?" Ladybug asked.
"Damn place is on the other side of the city, it just has to be on the other side, of fucking course!" Hal growled as he carried the three youths in the bubble construct, flying past the buildings. "I can't believe she's at the other side..."
"You bitch a lot," Queen Bee snorted. "Just what kind of hero are you?"
"I'm one of a kind, princess." Hal snorted back. "One of a fucking kind."
"And we are here to ensure that these two...lovers are-"
"Hurry it up!" Lila barked, impatient. "For fuck's sake, I want to go on our honeymoon already!"
Damian shot a glare at Lila. "Leave the priest alone. He does not need to indulge your depraved fantasies!" Lila turned around and put a finger to his lips. "Dami-boo, hush. No talking." She then turned to the priest. "Get to the good part. Now!"
"D-Do you, Lady Roseline, take Robin as your lawfully wedded husband?"
"Yes, I do." Lila winked at Damian, who turned away in disgust.
"A-And do you, Robin, take Lady Roseline as your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do n-" Damian was silenced by Lila placing a hand over his mouth. "Yes, he does! My little Robbie so does!"
"Now, if there is anyone who objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest spoke. Lila grinned widely. This was it. She was going to win. She was going to win one over Ladybug and the little ladybitch could do nothing to stop her.
"I OBJECT!"
Suddenly, the doors exploded as Team Ladybug burst through, Ladybug glaring daggers at Lila. "Lila Rossi." She hissed.
"That's Lady Roseline to you, Ladybitch. You're just in time... TIME TO SEE US GET MARRIED!" Lila turned to the priest, glaring. "Finish the vow, fatty!"
"NO!" Marinette shouted, running towards them with fire in her eyes. She wasn't going to let it happen, not to Damian!
Lila then held up a detonator in her hand. "Stop. Right. There. Move any closer, and not only the fatty goes bye-bye, the building does too. You understand now?" She smirked evilly. "You can't do anything to stop me."
"You're crazy! What is wrong with you?! Are you that obsessed with ruining my life?!" Marinette shouted, face red with anger. "Can you really call yourself a hero after pulling a stunt like this?! This is not an act of a hero, you're acting like a psychopath! You're no hero, just a hero-obsessed fan-girl turned loony!"
"FUCK YOU, LADYBUG! YOU DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT ME!" Lila raged back. "I DESERVE MORE THAN YOU EVER POSSIBLY HOPE TO DREAM OF! YOU DON'T DESERVE BEING SURROUNDED BY HERO FRIENDS AND BEING PRAISED! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A SPOILED BRAT PLAYING HERO WHILE I'M STRUGGLING TO RISE TO EARN MY PLACE AMONG GODS! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE LAVISHED LIKE A QUEEN WITH A SILVER FUCKING SPOON IN HER MOUTH! I WORKED HARD TO GET WHERE I AM! I WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED! I WANT TO BE LOVED TOO! BUT YOU CAME AND TRAMPLED ALL OVER MY HARD WORK LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP!"
"You are absolutely delusional." Queen Bee snapped. "Seriously, are you for real?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU NOBODY! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO CALL ME DELUSIONAL?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?! WHAT THE FUCK DO ALL OF YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?! NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" Lady Roseline then turned back to Ladybug. "You are fucking friends with the Justice League. You have a shit-ton of gifts from them! What have I got? NOTHING! NADA! ZILCH! YOU'RE THE FUCKING GOLDEN GIRL AND I'M THE FUCKING PEASANT!"
Marinette just stared at her for a while, then burst out laughing.
"STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING AT ME! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Lila screeched.
Soon, Hal, Queen Bee, and even Chat Noir joined in the laughing.
"YOU STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP LAUGHING!" Lila stomped her foot onto the ground, seething. "MY LIFE IS NOT A JOKE!"
"It is a joke." Damian huffed.
Lila turned on him with a glare. "Robbie-poo, don't think that I won't punish you! You stay out of this!" She whirled back to Ladybug with a sneer. "You seem to forget that I have the remote to the bombs. And I have a trigger finger. One false move and BOOM!" She spread her arms wide. "No more Ladybug."
"You know you won't get away with this." Marinette glared at her.
"Oh, really? Who's going to stop me, hmmm?" Lila shot a smirk at her. "I doubt Batman and his friends even know I'm here. After all, I made sure to use the local TV network around here. Isn't that right, Robbie-" The rose-themed bride froze as she saw that Damian was missing, and so was the priest. "...WHAT THE FUCK?!" She screamed. "Robbie?! ROBBIE?! WHERE ARE YOU?! ROBBIE, YOU COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!"
"Hmph, so much for your groom, he didn't even want to be a part of your unholy matrimony!" Chat Noir sassed.
"SHUT UP!" Lila screeched, glaring at them. "One of you assholes did this, I know it! You helped them escape!"
"Well, I would tell you, but that would be cheating." Hal did his best not to sound smug.
"No matter. I'll blow you all to hell and find my Robbie-poo and the fat ass, and we'll be married forever!" Lila cackled, holding the detonator up in triumph and clicked the red button, grinning. "Buh-bye, bitches!"
"NO!" Marinette shouted, reaching out towards her... only for nothing to happen. Lila repeatedly pressed the button over and over. "What in the fucking hell?! WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?! WHERE'S THE KABOOM?! WHERE'S THE GODDAMN EARDRUM-SHATTERING KABOOM?!"
"You mean the bombs hidden in the building?" A familiar voice called out. "Yeah, we took care of those. Lila spun around to see a smirking Nightwing. "Sup. Nice rose-themed dress you're wearing." Lila gaped at him, her mouth wide open. "You should close your mouth, you'll get flies."
"Nightwing!" Marinette chirped happily.
"Hey, Little Lady!" The first Robin waved back, then looked at Lila. "By the way, did you really think we'd be stuck in Gotham in a wild goose chase? We're Bats, we tend to be very, very clever. Also, trying to marry Robin? Not cool."
"YOU BITCH!" Lila screeched at a smirking Marinette. "YOU DID THIS! YOU PLANNED THIS ALL OUT!"
"Actually, B kinda tapped GL's phone, and we followed him here." Nightwing shot a sheepish look at Hal. "Sorry."
"YOU WHAT?!" Hal roared.
"SHUT UP!" Lila shrieked. "Where's my Robbie-poo?" She glared at Nightwing, brandishing her rapier menacingly. Dick just rolled his eyes behind his mask. "I wouldn't look up, if I were you."
"Wha-" Was all Lila got out before she was forced to block a katana strike from a pissed-off Robin. "Robbie!" Damian ignored her and swung fiercely at her, forcing Lila to parry his attacks. "Robbie, stop! I love you!"
"How unfortunate." Damian growled. "Because I desire your death!"
Red Robin and Red Hood dropped down from the rafters, beside Nightwing. "The priest is safe and out of here, Wing."
"Seriously, why does the weirdest shit happen to us?" Red Robin complained. Red Hood hooted and turned to Nightwing. "Replacement just cussed! It's the Swear Jar for you, boy!" He cackled evilly. Tim just gave him the finger, which made Jason laugh even harder.
"Disgusting, repulsive, deranged, sex-crazed, vulgar slattern!" Damian shouted out, punctuating the words with each strike. Lila cried out as she was forced back, not wanting to hurt her lover. "Robbie, please! I don't want to fight you!" "Then stand still and taste my wrath!" Damian knocked the rapier out of her hands and sheathed his katana, lunging at her with his fists. Lila then blocked and dodged each of his punches and kicks, doing her best to keep him from murdering her.
"GET HER, ROBIN!" Marinette shouted. "KICK HER ASS!" Lila glared at her and pushed Damian aside, grabbing her rapier and charging at her, screaming bloody murder. Marinette gripped her yo-yo and flicked it towards Lila's knee, knocking her off-balance and making her fall onto her face.
"Thank you, Ladybug." Robin spoke in a warm tone.
"No problem!" She chirped.
"Hmph. You're spry for a boy that got caught by a girl." Chat Noir huffed, smirking.
Robin shot him an annoyed glare. "I would love to see you do better, you mangy alley-cat."
"Is that a challenge?"
"It is for you."
"I accept!"
"BOYS!" Marinette snapped. "Stop fighting-AAH!" She was cut off as Lila tackled her and latched her hands to her throat, a crazed look was on the sausage-haired girl's face. "Robbie-poo is MINE!" Marinette could almost hear a demonic tinge in her voice, but right now, she was currently trying to pry those hands off of her neck.
"Unhand her, wench!" Robin shouted, rushing towards her, but he crashed into Chat Noir. "Get out of the way, I have to save Ladybug!"
"Not so fast, I'll be the one to save my lady!"
"You damn fool, what makes you think you can help her?"
"More than you ever could!"
Queen Bee growled. "Boys are so fucking stupid!" She aimed her stingers at Lila and fired at her face, making the crazed bride yelp and move away from Marinette. The red-clad heroine got up and rubbed her throat. "Thanks, Bee." She coughed out.
"Girl power, right?" Queen Bee smirked.
"YOU SLUT!" Lila roared as she grabbed her rapier. "I WILL END YOU!"
"You can try," The bee-themed heroine smirked. "But you'll just make an even bigger hot mess of yourself."
"You-!" Lila seethed.
"Besides the mess that you made and landed yourself in."
Lila let out a scream of sheer rage as she launched herself at the smug girl, who effortlessly dodged her wild stabbing and slashing. "STOP DANCING AROUND AND DIE!" The rose bride howled. "JUST DIE!"
"Shouldn't we stop this?" Red Robin asked.
"What, you wanna go ahead and stop the homicidal bride who wanted to marry Demon Spawn? Go right ahead." Red Hood gestured at the screaming rose-themed warrior who was attacking both Ladybug and Queen Bee with an insane look in her eyes. Red Robin hesitated as he took a step back. "On second thought, never mind."
"ENOUGH!!!" Lila screeched, enraged. "ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!" She then was suddenly encased in a green bubble. "NO! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUUUUUTTTT!"
"I do believe you took the words right out of my mouth, young lady." Hal frowned. "You're going to Juvie, kid."
"I beg to differ, Lantern." Batman emerged from the shadows, glaring. "She's clearly unstable."
"...Seriously, how long have been there, you asshole? We could've need your help, you know!" Hal snapped, annoyed.
"He's got you there, B." Jason agreed.
"I was going to intervene when Roseline was trying to strangle Ladybug, but it's resolved now. The Miracle Heroes at least seem have some decent skill in combat." Batman then looked at the raging Lila, screaming and pounding on the bubble. "She needs psychiatric help, Lantern."
"Oh, god, please don't tell me what I think he's going to say." Red Robin groaned.
"She is going straight into Juvenile, Spooks. And she's going to get what's coming to her. End of discussion." Hal crossed his arms. Bruce put on his patented Bat-Glare at him and grit his teeth. "She would endanger the other inmates with her violent reactions."
"And putting the kid in Arkham is gonna make things better?" Jason retorted. "The nuthouse with the fucking psychos that you deal with on a daily basis?"
"Hood-" Batman started.
"For fuck's sake," Red Hood growled. "You were gonna just take her away and dump her at the most shittiest hellhole in Gotham. Fucking hell, B."
"She is NOT going to Arkham, Blackgate, or whatever prison there is in Gotham. She is going to Juvie, dammit!" Hal shouted. "And no one is going to change my mind on this!"
"I WILL BATHE IN YOUR ENTRAILS AND YOUR BLOOD! I WILL USE YOUR BONES AS TOOTHPICKS! I WILL LISTEN TO YOUR SCREAMS AS SWEET MUSIC!" Lila screeched, clawing at the bubble madly. "ROBBIE-POO, HELP ME! COME HERE AND HELP YOUR LOVER RIGHT NOW!"
"He's not your lover, you bitch." Marinette hissed darkly. "Stop deluding yourself."
"I will START WITH YOU! I WILL MAKE A LADYBUG HANDBAG OUT OF YOU!" Lila shrieked, frothing at the mouth and glaring at Marinette. "I WILL MAKE ROBBIE WATCH AS I BREAK YOU!"
Hal looked at Lila, then at Batman, then at Lila. "...Fuck it."
"LET ME OUT!!!!" LIla shrieked, pounding on the cell door. She was in a padded cell, wrapped up in a straitjacket. Those bastards had dared to put her in... this shithole! How dare they?! They would pay for this! "YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!" She wailed.
"Shut the fuck up, you crazy little shit!" A guard shouted at her. "God, you really are a handful, aren't ya? They weren't kidding when they said you got issues. Well, you ain't alone here. You're right at home with the other maniacs. Trust me, kid, you'd do well to get along." The laughing guard then left just as Lila leapt towards the door, screaming.
"FUCK YOU! FUCK THE JUSTICE LEAGUE! FUCK BATMAN! FUCK THIS SHITTY PLACE!" Lila howled madly. "AND FUCK YOU, LADYBUG! YOU FUCKING BITCH! I SWEAR, I'LL GET YOU! This isn't the end! You haven't heard the last of me!" She flopped back onto the floor. "This is war! I am the fucking hero, and you are my enemy! Beware, Ladybitch! I know where you live!" Lila's face grew into a manic grin. "I know who you are! I know what your weakness is! AND I WILL WATCH YOUR WORLD BURN. IN. HELLLL!"
"Papa Hal, I'm glad you took me to work with you today." Marinette smiled widely.
Hal smiled right back. "Hey, anything for you, kiddo. Besides, having you right by my side makes my day."
"I'm just glad that Lila thing is over and done with. I hope she never hurts anyone ever again." Marinette sighed.
"You and me both, sunshine." Hal agreed, wondering why he even agreed to Spooky's proposal. Oh well, it was out of his hands now. "Oh, that reminds me, there's a class coming here. maybe you could make some friends with them, huh?"
"Wait, what class?" Marinette eyed him.
"Some class from some French school or something."
The little Jordan girl had a look of recognition on her face. "Oh, them. Wonder now that Lila's gone, maybe they'll be less idiotic." She murmured.
Hal looked at her. "Did you say something, kiddo?"
"Just talking to myself, Papa."
The air pilot shrugged. "If you say so." The father and daughter duo then spotted a familiar bunch of kids chattering amongst themselves, Adrien talking to a snobby-looking girl who had the most smug grin on her face. Marinette eyed her with a suspicious look. "Hmmm..." The blue-eyed Ladybug holder walked over to them, a smile plastered on her face. "Hello there!" She waved at them. "Hi, Adrien!"
"So this is the famous Marinette you've been telling me about, Adrien. She looks... decent enough." Chloe smirked at the dark-haired girl.
"Chloe..." Adrien sighed. "Be nice."
"Wow, you're real friendly." Marinette deadpanned.
"Only to those who deserve my friendship and respect. You've got a long way to go, though. But at least you're not on my shit-list, so that's a start." Chloe tossed her hair and glanced at Marinette.
"Who's at the top?"
Chloe's lips grew into a shit-eating grin. "Lila Rossi."
Marinette smiled as well. "You know, maybe we could try to get along after all." She took a seat near Chloe. "So, how long you guys are gonna stay?"
"For a whole week, of course." Chloe answered. "I'm sure we have enough time to get to know each other."
"That'd be nice." Marinette replied, nodding. Hal watched as his little girl was chatting with the others. It felt good, seeing her smile like that. He wanted to protect that smile of hers. It was a job as her dad, after all. But still, he had a feeling that he was forgetting something...
After work was over, Hal and Marinette headed into their house, and putting their things up. "I had fun today, Papa Hal." Marinette smiled at him.
"Yeah, me too, kiddo. I-" Hal froze as he saw Soranik and Kyle in the living room, watching tv, and Iolande in the kitchen, eating their macarons. "...Oh, fuck me!"
"Hey, Hal!" Kyle waved at them. Soranik glanced at them, leaning forward to look at Marinette. "Wow. Looks like Kyle wasn't kidding about her. She does look kind of cute."
"What the hell are you people doing in my home?!" Hal shouted. He turned to Iolande. "And stop eating my macarons, dammit! Why the hell do you even like eating them anyways?! They're not that good!"
"Oh, but they're so delicious!" Iolande moaned as she popped some more into her mouth. "I can't stop eating them!"
"Iolande, stop eating his food before Jordan has an aneurysm." Soranik sighed as she got up and walked over towards Marinette, scanning her with her ring. "Hmm, she seems to be in good condition. I expected her to pick up her father's habits."
"Hey!" Hal protested angrily. "Are you implying that I would let my sunshine rush into danger?"
"Well, you do have a habit of bringing trouble to you..." Kyle sheepishly replied.
"Shut up, Kyle!" Hal then turned to Iolande, who was still sneaking some macarons into her mouth. "And what did I just say about eating them?!"
"It's okay, Papa Hal, I can make more." Marinette sighed.
"You know, eating too much sweets is more likely to go down your hips and thighs," Kyle pointed out teasingly.
"Kyle." Soranik frowned at him. Iolande looked at Kyle, then at the macarons, then back at Kyle. She then took a couple more of the pastries and stuffed them into her mouth, chewing slowly. Hal threw his hands up in the air as Marinette headed into the kitchen, grabbing an apron.
"Why are you guys even here?" The brunette groaned.
"We came to hang around with you guys! What's wrong with that?" Kyle protested. "It's not like we're cramping your style." That earned a small laugh from Soranik. Hal fought the urge to bang his head in the wall. It was so tempting to do it right here and now.
"You have your own home, Kyle. Go take your girlfriends and hang out there." Hal pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Why are you trying to get rid of us?" Soranik put her hands on over her chest, staring down Hal suspiciously. "What are you hiding from us?" She narrowed her eyes. "I'm not hiding anything, dammit! I just don't want you using my place as your damn personal hangout!" The air pilot snapped, frustrated.
Iolande walked into the living room, a concerned expression on her face. "Soranik, do you really think my hips are getting wider from eating those Terran treats?" She then turned around and bent over, putting her hands onto her knees. Hal squwaked loudly and Kyle found his vision covered by Soranik's hand. "Hey!" He whined.
"They're fine, Iolande, now turn back around." Soranik sighed, exasperated. Iolande did as she was told, heading back to the kitchen. The Lantern medic removed her hand from Kyle's eyes. "And you better not be thinking about what you just saw." The red-skinned woman frowned at a pouting Kyle.
"I wasn't!" He lamely protested.
"This! This is why you should go hang out with Kyle!" Hal shouted, shaking his head. "Fuck!" He then pulled out his now-ringing phone and answered it. "What is it?"
"Hello, Hal." Diana's voice answered him. "I was wondering if I could speak to Marinette?"
"Hold on," Hal sighed as he then entered the kitchen and handed his phone to Marinette. "Diana wants to talk to you, sweetheart." Marinette squealed and placed the newly-made batch of macarons on the counter, taking her dad's phone and heading into her room. Iolande looked at the tray of macarons and reached over to grab one, but quickly dropped it holding her hand back. "Ow! They're hot..." She pouted, nursing her stinging fingers.
"...Why do I even bother?" Hal placed his face into his hands. "God, why me?"
"If it makes you feel any better, Hal, at least Guy's not with us." Kyle soothed. "He'd probably make one of his Gardnerisms."
"If Gardner was here, I'd have to break my oath and send him to a hospital." Soranik flatly replied. Marinette returned from her room and handed her phone to Hal. "Here you go, Papa!" She was grinning ear-to-ear. Hal took his phone and sighed. "Thanks, kiddo."
"So, Hal, you got any extra room to spare?" Kyle asked.
"No. Oh, no! You are not staying here." Hal growled, glaring at Kyle. "Nope. No way."
"C'mon, Hal! We won't be here that long!" The dark-haired lantern protested.
"Do I look like a motel to you people? Do I look like Spooky with his big-ass house?" Hal snapped, throwing his hands up in the air. "Dammit, I don't even have beds for you guys! Well, okay, maybe the couch bed, but my point still stands! We don't have enough room!"
"Iolande can bunk with Marinette." Soranik replied dryly.
"No, dammit! I am not letting the macaron-addict near my sunshine! She'll take her away as her personal cook and I'll never see her again!" The brunette shouted, shooting a look at Iolande, who was popping a now-cool macaron into her mouth, munching away.
"Hal, you're overreacting." Kyle sighed.
"Fuck you, I'm not!" Hal dramatically pointed a finger at Kyle and Soranik. "You people are not staying over and that's that!"
Hal growled as he tossed and turned in his bed, listening to noises coming from the bathroom across the hall. "Ugh...!" He threw the covers over himself as he tried to block the noises of the TV outside his door. "Damned freeloaders!"
Meanwhile, Marinette was texting Damian with a big smile on her face inside her sleeping bag. She glanced over at Iolande, who had strolled into her room in a big, green t-shirt and climbed onto her bed, and was now currently sleeping.
Mari: hey dami!
DamI: Hello.
Mari: are you doing okay?
Dami: I am now, thanks to you.
Mari: ^^
Dami: Will I see you again?
Mari: yup!
Marinette then shut off her phone and slid into her bag, letting its warmth take her to sleep as her roomate began to softly snore under her breath. She was really liking her life with her Papa Hal, even if it was chaotic at times.