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ONE.
The first time they met…well that was a story to tell. She had contemplated losing on purpose, she would never understand why she was the one considered a great beauty when her suitor was so much more mesmerizing.
Turned out she didn’t have to though, he beat her fair and square and she felt the beginnings of something fluttering in her chest. And then it got awkward.
Not so far away there was her older sister and her husband to be. His arms were already around her narrow shoulders, helping her up. Jiejie’s face was even lovelier coloured by a delicate flush. Smooth sailing over there. Xiao Qiao and Zhou Yu? They kind of stared at each other a bit.
Every passing moment she could feel her face getting hotter (nothing to do with that fluttering though, it was just awkward). She looked away and then back up at him, thrusting her hand out without subtlety.
“You’re supposed to take my hand now, my Lord.”
His hands were strong and calloused and his smile was so very gentle.
TWO.
Their wedding night had been a free for all. Alcohol flowed like the Great River and everyone was pretty much drunk out of their mind. Including Sun Ce. Given the entire situation of course they had a joint celebration and of course that made it that much crazier.
Her sister was doing her best to support her husband’s weight. Sun Ce was long gone, singing some song about the moon and the stars and a random horse.
Xiao Qiao laughed, waving at her sister to cheer her on. Zhou Yu next to her was composed but red faced, it was cute. Another goblet was thrust towards them, Huang Gai must have congratulated them ten times now, a little bit she was beginning to wonder if they’d survive the night.
Xiao Qiao liked parties as much as the average man but her man was more than well on his way drunk, even with his tightly controlled composure.
“Stop bullying my husband!” She threw herself onto Zhou Yu’s lap, snatching the goblet from him. It spilled a little onto her dress but she drank most of it down in one gulp.
“How will we consummate our marriage if you knock him out!”
She remembers the laughter well, it was a free for all but everyone had been so happy.
When she looked back up at her husband his face was even redder but his arm was wrapped around her waist.
THREE.
Well, she had said consummate.
The minute they were left alone in their room together there was too much space between them. Xiao Qiao stood still and nervous until the rambunctious laughter and cheers coming through the door died down. She thought she could feel Zhou Yu looking at her but when she glanced at him from the side he was looking away, red up to his ears.
These moments were usually described with flowers and euphemisms, how it was actually supposed to happen…Xiao Qiao had no idea at all.
“Um,” she started and finished, not sure what to say. This time when she looked over though Zhou Yu’s gaze was there to meet hers. She smiled, uncharacteristically shy and soft. She could take a step for both of them.
She closed the space between them, little by little, reaching out to take her husband’s hand. Her figure was modest at best (childish some might even say) but certainly he could feel her heartbeat, hand pressed to her chest. Her other hand reached up, resting against his neck to guide him down.
Her husband’s face was so red (it was still cute) and hers matched his. She pressed her cheek to his, lips brushing against his skin faintly when she spoke. “Can you feel my heart, my Lord?”
His fingers twitched against her chest. “It’s beating for you. From now on, it’ll beat for you.”
FOUR.
“My Lord, aren’t you proud of me?” She skipped up behind him with a bright smile, as if it were impossible to dampen her spirit even with the chaos of battle. Zhou Yu turned sharply, expression startled and worried.
Of course she knew that he hadn’t wanted her to follow him into battle but there was no stopping Xiao Qiao after she’d made up her mind on something. For better or for worse.
“The provisions! I made sure they got to Lord Sun Jian!”
“You did…Impressive.” His tone was strained. He was truly impressed as much as he was truly worried. She knew by the too gentle way he spoke and the awkward way he brushed her hair back.
“But, I don’t want you to try too hard when I’m not around.”
“Okay, I won’t!” In the end the reason she followed was to be by his side, after all.
FIVE.
The rain made everything heavy, her clothes, her hair, her heart. That and the invisible weight bearing down on her husband, she thought he might be crushed.
Xiao Qiao didn’t tell Zhou Yu that he wasn’t alone, that she was here by his side. She didn’t tell him that even if everyone left she would remain, she would follow him everywhere. Those were not words that would help him.
He was alone, he would be alone as long as he wanted to, heavy heart set apart from hers with no way for her to truly breach the distance.
She took his hand, wanted to hold it to her heart as she once did. It beats for you.
It would not help him. His hand between the two of hers was cold.
“You promised Lord Sun Ce that you would support him. So you can’t cry and must continue, right?”
+ ONE.
She rarely cried. In the years that they had been together Zhou Yu could count the times he’d seen his wife cried on his two hands. He always thought that it was what made her so beautiful, an unconquerable spirit, vibrant and unapologetic. It lit up her smile, it lit up her eyes.
He knew it was his fault that her smile was stretched and thin now. It was his fault that her eyes clouded over with unshed tears.
Out of the times he’d seen her cry six times it was likely because of him. Every time he didn’t see her cry it was most certainly because of him. She hid her face, held her shoulders stiffly as if to shake would be to fail him.
He reached for her, wrapping his arms around her small body even though his body barely had the strength to get up anymore. “My Lord! Please, you should be resting—“
“You have always been my strength.”
It started slowly, faint quivers and then her breath hitched, sobbing into his shoulder even as she tried not to press her weight onto him. In spite of how others saw her he had always known her to be careful and considerate, painfully careful now. “Even now?”
“Even now.”