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1.
It was ever since that fateful day, the one where he broke his “cool and chic” facade, that Han Seojun began to actually notice it. It started off as wariness, unsure of how she would act towards him now that she’s seen his utterly embarrassing side. Truly, it was nothing more than wanting to make sure she kept her mouth locked tight and absolutely nothing to do with her adorable stupid grin and cute ugly giggles.
None. Whatsoever.
He just had a reputation to uphold, that’s all. Honestly. Nothing else to it. He swears.
That’s what he repeated to himself at least, the following school day, standing near the school’s entrance. He just stood there, looking at his phone, desperately trying to tell himself that he’s only trying to maintain his rep.
Then, as he’s still deeply immersed in his thoughts, he practically jumps when suddenly Ju Gyeong was right in front of him; in front of his face. He definitely wasn’t started and he for sure didn’t stutter a bunch of nothing in surprise.
If he were a more poetic person, he would have sworn time slowed down as she gave him a beautiful smile, eyes lit with playfulness. He could hear his own heartbeat pounding in his chest, almost ready to burst from barely held-back emotions.
It was still before the bell so there were people milling about and a cacophony of noise all around him, but all he could focus on was the girl in front of him. Everything else blurred into non-existence as she gave him another grin, letting out a little roar, hands coming up in clawing motions.
She turned back around towards the school’s gate, hair flowing behind her as she jogged through the entrance. It was then and there Han Seojun had his first thought of many to come:
I love you.
It was a barely-there thought; a gentle little wisp floating through his mind like a leaf catching onto the wind. It was there and gone again before it even fully registered, fading back out into the ether as he watched her back disappear into the morning crowd. He stood idly for a few moments before being rudely ripped back into the present by Cho Rong’s loud voice.
He shrugged off the arm slung over his shoulders, “Aish. So loud. Get off!”
With that, he readjusted his jacket before heading in the same direction as Ju Gyeong, Cho Rong and the rest following behind loudly. Along the way, delighted laughter echoed throughout him as the image of a beautiful smile burned into his mind.
2.
School trips and outings never really suited Seojun before and it definitely doesn’t suit him now. Not with all the noisy individuals present, not with all the crowding, and especially not with a certain expressionless prick joining the trip as well. In fact, Seojun would much rather skip such annoyances—almost did—if not for a few reasons.
The first would be, of course, his mom. She would be sad if he didn’t go on the trip to “make new and lasting high school memories with all your friends.” He definitely did not need a school trip to do such thing but he would rather throw away all of his earrings than ever let his mom down over something easy like this. So, yes, he was here largely in part of his mom.
The second being, although he would never admit it out loud, he enjoyed hanging out with everyone. Over the past few months, thanks to a lot of odd happenstances, he found that he actually gets along with his classmates. Sure, he still comes off as a bit rude and stand-offish, but they no longer are scared to so much as look at him anymore. He’s sure he could see himself becoming pretty good friends with some of them.
And, lastly, the most important reason he was on this trip would have to be none other than Lim Ju Gyeong. He knew the real reason why he willingly came with and it had to do with a pair of bright eyes and a smart mouth. He’s gotten a lot closer to her thanks to Go Woon, to the point of seeing each other out of school, but not like this.
Not like this where he can see and talk to her as much as he wants without any lame excuses needed.
It was a dream and then it was nightmare and then it was a dream again and a nightmare once more. It was so back-and-forth that he’s sure he could’ve gotten whiplash from it. He knew his heart couldn’t take much more, but he was hopeful.
The night he sang, he sang for Ju Gyeong and only for Ju Gyeong. Not for anyone else and when he saw her quickly leave, he had to admit that it stung. A lot.
He let himself get lost in his singing after that, shutting out anything else besides the mic in his hand the words flowing out of his mouth. Later, when he’s done singing and she’s sitting in front of him, eyes swollen and tears streaming down and pouring her heart out to him, he can’t help the thoughts that automatically run through his head.
Please stop.
Don’t say any more.
I love you, please don’t cry.
He doesn’t say anything aside for telling her to stop talking. He desperately wished he could say more, but one look at her and he knew he couldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Instead, he wrapped her up in his arms, covered her crying face with his chest and let her release everything she had been bottling up. His heart cracked a little with every sob and shake of her shoulders.
It hurt, knowing she was crying over another person, but Seojun would gladly take on all the pain over adding any more to hers. He may not know all of it, but he knew something ran deeper than what was just on the surface. So, he held her close, breathed in the night air and let his heart shatter.
I love you. Please don’t be sad.
3.
Some things got better and something got worse and for once, Seojun had no idea which was which.
So much had happened in such a short span of time. So much information and secrets revealed. Hidden intentions exposed along with hurt emotions and broken bones. He almost preferred the time when he was mad and just wanted to point fingers at someone.
Because it wasn’t fair, it just really wasn’t. None of it was.
Not to him. Not to Suho. Not to Ju Gyeong. Not to any of them.
It wasn’t one person’s fault, and much of it could be blamed on circumstance, but that didn’t make it any less cruel. If anything, it made it so much worse to not be able to have something specific to blame. It was all give and take, with much, much more take than give recently.
He stood and watched as Suho departed, leaving a broken Ju Gyeong and a fragile relationship behind and he absolutely despised how unfair it all really was.
I’m sorry.
Ju Gyeong’s back shook as she was wracked with loud sobs.
I wish I could make it all go away for you.
He stood motionless, hands dead at his sides.
I love you and I’m here for you.
4.
Sometimes Seojun forgets about Ju Gyeong’s bad drinking habits until he’s called out once again to come pick her up because she drank too much. He’s lost count on how many times he’s done so over the past year or so. Honestly, it may sound like he’s annoyed but it’s the opposite in reality because he really doesn’t mind.
Every time his phone lights up with either a phone call from whoever she’s with or a horrible misspelled text from Ju Gyeong herself, his heart warms at the sight. It pleases him to no end that he’s the first person she thinks of to take care of her. It shows that he’s someone she can rely on and trust.
He hopes that will always be the case.
Tonight happens to be one of those nights as he walks through the doors of the dive they went to. He hears her before he sees her, louch and carefree as she downs another glass of who knows what. Suah is with her it seems, trying—and failing—to wrench the glass from Ju Gyeong’s hold.
It’s always a sight to behold. The beautiful Lim Ju Gyeong turning into a loud and messy drunk, cussing out loud and waving her arms around.
“Listen to me though,” she’s practically yelling, “ They’re all a bunch of stuck-up jerks! All of them! The way the talk is just—!!”
She’s still flailing around when Suah notices him and give him the most aggrieved and withered look he’s ever seen. It’s a clear plea of please come and take her off my hands, I don’t want to deal with her anymore. He only smiles and jerks his head in confirmation.
“Hey, hey! Suah! Hey,” Ju Gyeong gets even louder, “Are you listening? Suah!”
Seojun is right behind her when she stumbles to get her bestie’s attention, catching her by the waist and hauling her against him. Suah only looks more tired at her drunk friend’s actions.
Ju Gyeong tilts her head up and when she realizes who it is, her smile becomes blinding.
“Han Seojun! You’re finally here!”
He smiles down at her, free hand coming up to smooth the hair from her face, “Mm, I’m here.”
She giggles, then Suah is grabbing her stuff, handing him some cash, sighing, “Alright, lover-boy, she’s your problem now. I’m leaving now.”
He snorts at her words but doesn’t deny it.
“Im Ju, I’ll see you later,” she gives her a warm smile, “Go home and get some rest, okay? Get her home safely.”
Ju Gyeong gives a slurred goodbye and blows a sloppy kiss. Suah gives her a finger heart in return, claps him on the shoulder and heads out. He give a short bye before focusing all his attention on the woman in front of him.
She’s still waving her glass around, so he slides his hand along her arm and lets the glass slip into his grip, “Yah, that’s dangerous.”
All he gets is a giggle in return.
“Alright, come on you drunkard,” he sets the glass down, “Lets get you sobered up a bit and then home.”
It takes a bit of finagling, but eventually Seojun gets her jacket on her, finds her phone, and grabs her purse all while supporting the swaying woman leaning against him. He tosses down an appropriate amount of bills and with one last check over for anything missing, they leave. It’s actually quite a task as Ju Gyeong refuses to stay still whenever she’s inebriated.
“Hey, walk properly,” he readjusts her arm around his neck, “You’re going to make both of us fall.”
She stops moving for all but a second before she begins to giggle almost maniacally. He normally doesn’t know what’s going through that head of hers on a good day so he definitely has no idea what she could be thinking of when she’s been drinking.
“Never,” another giggle, “You would never.”
He doesn’t get it, but that doesn’t matter when he’s suddenly being pulled into a hug, Ju Gyeong half hanging off his back.
“you would never let me fall,” the arms around him tighten, “Even if I do, you’re always there to catch me. Always.”
The last part is murmured into his neck, almost going unheard, “You’re always there for me. It makes me so happy.”
They’ve already long since stopped walking (more stumbling, he supposes) and luckily they’re in a pretty deserted area because he know that they must look absurd. He can feel his face burning, and his mouth is hanging open. His heart is beating so hard against his chest he wouldn’t be surprised if the whole neighborhood could hear it.
Then it practically stopped as Ju Gyeong nuzzled deeper into him and says, “You’re my favorite person.”
And coming from someone who’s not quite sober and has all her facilities, it probably means nothing, but regardless, it meant everything to Seojun.
You’re my favorite person too.
You always have been and always will be.
I love you.
He knows she didn’t mean it the way he wants it to mean, but that doesn’t stop the glimmer of hope from forming. It’s moments like these that remind him how truly and utterly gone he was for this woman.
He finally says something back after moments of silence, “Of course. Who else would take care of your drunk ass?”
There’s no reply, but he wasn’t expecting one. She’s dozed off by now, mumbling into his neck with indecipherable words.
He readjusts her once more so she’s fully situated on his back for him to carry. It’s not what he quite hoped for in life, but he’ll take what he can get; what she will give.
And for him it’s enough.
5.
He’s sitting on a bench, absently tapping away at some mindless game on his phone. He sighs before leaning against the backrest, head facing the sun with his eyes closed. It was a nice day out; sunny but with a gentle breeze. Perfect weather really.
He lets out another sigh.
It gets dark abruptly so he opens his eyes to see Ju Gyeong leaning over him, long hair curtaining them both. She’s smiling down at him and he notices she’s gone for a more light and natural look today. It suits her.
Though to be fair, Seojun thinks everything Ju Gyeong.
“Hi,” her voice is light and happy.
“Hey,” an easy grin slides on his face, “You’re done later than usual today.”
She walks around to stand in front of him, makeup carrier strapped to her side, “Yeah, cleanup took a bit today.”
He stands up, tucking his phone into a pocket before grabbing her carrier, “Better late than never I suppose.”
Ju Gyeong lets him take the box, smiling brightly, “You’re the best you know!”
“Of course I am, who do you think you’re talking to?”
She giggles again, lightly smacking his arm, “My very own knight in shining armor of course.”
He own smile widens even as he looks away from her embarrassing words. He loves it though, knowing she thinks of him in such a way. He clears his throat, regaining some semblance of his coolness.
“Aww! Is someone embarrassed?” She leans next to him as they walk, trying to peek at his face, “You’re so adorable when you’re embarrassed!”
He sputters, face going comically red, “Yah! What ever happened to my shy Ju Gyeong? How can you just say stuff like that!”
Her arms link around his, one hand threading their fingers together, “It’s just the truth.”
She’s tugging him down as he huffs and he goes willingly, leaning down to her height. Her lips, soft and pink, press against his cheek, giving him a light peck.
“But really,” she pulls away, smile warm, “You really are my prince charming.”
He clicks his tongue only because he’s too keyed up to reply properly without sounding like a total stuttering moron. He takes a chance to look at her and his mind goes blank. She’s not doing anything out of the ordinary, but she’s looking at him with such loving warmth that stops him in his tracks. It’s a look he knows all too well because it’s a look he often gives her.
They’ve been officially dating for a few weeks now but it still takes him by surprise during moments like these.
I love you so, so much.
However, after he regains his executive functions, he pulls her into his side, saying haughtily, “Well I am as handsome as one.”
“Aaand there he is,” Ju Gyeong starts swinging their linked hands, “There’s the modest Han Seojun I know so well.”
“What, you know it’s the truth,” he teases.
She give him a considering look and Seojun is very thankful to whatever higher power that’s out there that this is where they’re at today. Him and Ju Gyeong, hand-in-hand, walking forward together.
“So, what should we eat today?”
So very thankful.
+1
He wakes up slowly on one of the rare days he’s able to, light filling out the room behind his eyelids. It’s quiet, also rare, so he basks in the silence for a moment, eyes still closed. It had been a hectic, well, month really but now he gets to finally breathe again for a bit. Even though he knows it’s not for long, he’ll take what he can get.
He stretches in place, turning on his side to pull the warm body next to his in close. He tucks his face into Ju Gyeong’s hair, pressing kisses to the top of her head. He drags a hand over her side, feeling the patch of bare skin peeking out from where her shirt has ridden up.
“Ju Gyeong, darling,” he murmurs, trailing kisses down to her ear, “Time to wake up.”
He doesn’t know what time it is exactly, but based of the amount of light coming in, he’d say it’s late morning. They should get up if they want to go out on a date today.
Seojun smiles at the thought, they haven’t gone on a date in quite a while. He’s pretty excited for it, has it planned out even, but first he’ll need to wake the lazy bag of bones up.
He squeezes her side a bit, “Hmm? Baby, aren’t you going to wake up?”
He gets an answering grumble this time, and also a blind swat near his face, “Mmf—go ‘way.”
A chuckle leaves him, “Come on. Up.”
He tugs at her, getting her to open her eyes and sparks shoot through him, warming his insides up. Even when just woken up, hair unkempt, face greasy, she’s till the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on.
“Well, good morning, sleepyhead,” the warmth reaches his voice.
She rubs at her eyes, yawning before sitting halfway upright to look at him, “We definitely could’ve slept in a bit longer.”
His smile widens, “Maybe, but—”
She yelps when he pulls her on top of him. She settles with a grumble, a halfhearted complaint on her lips even though she’s also grinning. He brings her in for a solid, deep kiss.
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” He breathes against her mouth as they part.
She giggles, arms lacing around his neck, “Every single day. I have the text messages to prove it.”
“And I mean it each and every time,” he gives her a quick peck on the lips, “Good morning, beautiful.”
She returns the kiss immediately, pulling back with a sigh, “Good morning, handsome.”
Both have morning breath and gunk in their eyes and are no where near the typical standard of beauty, but these are the moments Seojun adores. Each day he wakes up happier than the last because he gets to share these moment with the woman of his dreams.
He hugs her close, letting the moment wash over them, “I love you.”
And it’s even better because—
“I love you too.”